Beautifully Unbroken

by D. M. Brittle

  “I’m not sure; it is quite late, and I really could do with having a clear head tomorrow in preparation for my audition Tuesday,” I said.

  “Please!” Casey placed her hands together as if begging me.

  “It’ll give me the chance to make sure the club is still standing,” Alex said looking up from whatever he was reading on his phone. “I’ll get the VIP area roped off, keep it private.”

  Sugar Lounge was one of Alex’s many bars. They were scattered all over New York, with Sugar being the most upmarket and most popular amongst the rich and famous. It was also where Casey and Alex had met for the first time, so it held a special meaning for them.

  “It’s entirely up to you,” Blake said quietly into my ear.

  “Okay,” I replied, trying not to sound disappointed. Blake squeezed me once more.

  Casey bounced excitedly. “Yay!”

  “I’m gonna need some fresh clothes; I’ll head home and meet you there,” Blake said, loosening his grip on me.

  “I’ll come with you,” Alex said, placing his phone back in his pocket before tossing Casey his car keys. “Take the car, no cabs,” he demanded.

  “Got it,” Casey said as she caught the keys.

  “Jo?” Blake tilted his head towards the hall as he walked away. I quickly followed, closing the bedroom door behind us as we entered.

  “You okay?” his arms snaked around my waist, pulling me to him.

  “I suppose I just didn’t want this weekend to end.”

  “We don’t have to go,” he suggested.

  “We do; they’re our friends. Celebrating their engagement.” I shook my head in disbelief “How mad is that?”

  “Crazy,” he said as his mouth touched the corner of mine.

  “Well,” I said, pulling away, “It’s time to pop the bubble. I’ll see you there, I guess.”

  “I guess you will.” Blake smiled before leaving the room.

  Casey had grilled me to a crisp on the drive over to Sugar, wanting to know every single detail of every minute that Blake and I had spent together over the weekend. I had left a lot of the detail out for obvious reasons, but I could feel myself beaming as I told her about him turning up and making me feel too weak to resist.

  She was pleased that I finally seemed happy, but she also understood my insecurities.

  By the time we arrived at Sugar, I had managed to sway the conversation away from me and onto her upcoming nuptials.

  They had decided that because of Casey’s work schedule and the opening of Alex’s new bar in Vegas, they would be planning a summer wedding for the following year, happening here in New York. That gave them twelve months to plan their perfect wedding.

  Sugar was quieter than normal for this time on a Sunday evening, but it suited me better. I would’ve been happier staying at home anyway, with Blake, in bed. And the more I thought about that, the more I wanted to be home, with Blake, in bed.

  Blake was sitting talking to Alex’s sister when we walked in. I had only met her a handful of times, and she seemed nice enough. She was older than Alex and Blake but was still single. She was stunning; they must have had a really good gene pool in Alex’s family. Even though she wasn’t much taller than I was, her legs were long and super slim, her hair was blonde with bouncy curls, and her eyes were bright blue like Blake’s. Casey wasn’t overly keen on Christina. They got on well now, but when Alex and Casey first met, Christina had accused Casey of being with him for his money. Alex had been engaged prior to Casey, but it ended badly when he walked in on his former fiancée in bed with a mutual friend. After kicking her out of the apartment they shared, she repaid him by saying she was only in it for his money. So when Casey came along, and wasn’t too dissimilar to Alex’s ex, she had to endure the treatment from Christina that she didn’t deserve.

  Seeing Alex happy gave me faith. We were not all that different to each other where our pasts were concerned, and he had overcome trust issues to enable him to see a future with Casey. That gave me faith.

  Blake looked stunning. He had changed into a black Ralph Lauren suit with a white shirt underneath, open at the collar. He had shaved, but there was still a tiny bit of stubble showing, which I was glad about; I loved the feel of his rough chin on my body. And his hair was styled to perfection. My mind drifted to me messing that up at the first opportunity.

  Blake stood as I approached. “Christina, this is my girlfriend, Jo; Jo, this is Christina.”

  “Hello,” I said, giving her my hand. She shook it, closely studying me.

  “I thought you were dating Sara?” she said to Blake, keeping her eyes locked on me.

  “No, I have not been dating Sara,” Blake said in annoyance.

  “Oh,” she said, clutching her chest with embarrassment, “I’m so sorry, Jo; I shouldn’t have said that.” She shook her head in shame. “It’s lovely to meet you properly, Casey has told me so much about you.”

  “Likewise,” I replied, sensing my own annoyance.

  “Can I get you a drink?” she asked.

  “Thanks, Christina, but we’re gonna mingle; there are people I want Jo to meet,” said Blake.

  She nodded. “Sure. Maybe we can do lunch or something. Get Casey to let me know.”

  “Will do.” I nodded, forcing a smile.

  “Sorry about that,” Blake said as we entered the hallway, away from the noise of the VIP area.

  “She was obviously just saying what everyone else is thinking; I saw the way they all looked at me.”

  “You’re being paranoid,” he said as we stopped outside Alex’s office.

  “Sorry,” I said. “It’s just, the first person you introduce me to and that’s what she said to me.”

  “Are you mad at me?” he asked as his eyebrows knitted together in concern.

  “No,” I sighed, placing my hand to his chin, feeling the rough stubble below my fingers I leaned up onto my tiptoes and kissed the corner of his mouth. “You have never dated Christina, have you?”

  “Are you gonna ask me that every time you meet a woman I know?” Blake asked, amused.

  “Maybe,” I replied.

  “I have it very bad for you, you know.” He swept his nose against mine, taking a deep breath. His erection pressed against my hip as our mouths invaded each other. We were in a hallway in a busy club, but at that moment, I didn’t care who could see us. I couldn’t stop where Blake was concerned.

  A door slammed to the right of us, causing us both to jump. Blake stepped back and immediately adjusted his jacket with a smile on his face. “It was just the wind,” he said.

  “Someone could have seen us,” I panted.

  “I was kissing my girlfriend; no law against that.” He smirked as he held out his hand for me to take.

  “Can we go soon?” I moaned, placing my hand in his.

  “Definitely. Let’s mingle, and then we will slip away unnoticed.” His eyes twinkled with excitement before he leaned in and kissed me firmly, hungrily even, before releasing me and leading me back to Casey and Alex’s friends and family.

  Every time we would try to get away, it was as if fate had other ideas, and somehow we would end up getting dragged back in. By the time three a.m. rolled around, there were only a handful of guests left, including Blake and me. He would throw me an apologetic look every now and then and mouth the words “I’m sorry,” but it wasn’t his fault. It was as if the whole club were against us leaving early.

  Casey had got herself into a complete drunken stupor, and Alex was trying to sort out staffing issues after being forced to fire his current manager after witnessing him snorting cocaine in the office. It had been a good evening up until then.

  Blake and I offered to take Casey home and watch her until Alex could get away. We wouldn’t get to spend what was left of the night as we had hoped. I felt disappointed, but I had no doubt we would make up for it at the first opportunity.

  Casey flaked out on the sofa shortly after we got home, but before I could let her drif
t off to sleep I made her drink two strong black coffees and a pint of water. She mumbled over and over about how much she loved Alex and couldn’t live without him; then she cried. Then she laughed about crying. She was crazy, but I loved her to bits.

  Blake stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. He was watching me with a smile as I walked back in after checking that Casey was sleeping safely with a bowl next to her on the sofa. He smiled. “You’re gonna make a brilliant mommy someday.”

  “I wouldn’t be this calm if that was my child lying there that drunk,” I laughed as I lifted my cup of tea to take a sip.

  “I’m sorry about how tonight has turned out,” he said.

  “This is how it’s going to be now, I suppose. The bubble has well and truly popped.” I frowned, and Blake’s smile dropped. “Once you start filming again next week, and if I get my job, we will probably hardly see each other.”

  “But the sex will be amazing,” he said huskily as he walked over and took my cup from my hand, placing it on the counter.

  “Is that all I am to you, MR Mackenzie, a sex toy?” I ran my hand down the front of his trousers, feeling his hard length growing under my palm.

  He seemed to think hard before replying with a smirk, “It’s a good trait.”

  I closed my hand gently around his cock and gave it a little squeeze. “You want to say that again?” I teased.

  “Ouch! I’m kidding, I’m kidding; let the fella go.” He held his hands up in defeat.

  The door to the apartment opened, and in walked Alex.

  “What a fucking night,” he moaned.

  “Yeah, sorry man,” Blake said as he walking over to pat Alex on the back. “Everything sorted now?”

  “Kind of,” he replied as he took three tumblers from the cupboard above and filled them all with brandy. He offered one to Blake, which he took. I shook my head. It was five a.m., and I was barley functioning as it was. “I mean, right under my fucking nose. Who knows how long that shit’s been going on or who else is fucking doing it. That bastard could have gotten me shut down.” He polished off the brandy and refilled the glass. “I’ve called a staff meeting for nine this morning; heads are gonna fucking roll.”

  A firm knock at the door interrupted us, and we all looked to each other in confusion. It was five a.m., and everyone who would have been knocking was inside the apartment.

  “Who the hell could that be?” Blake said.

  “Probably someone from the fucking club,” Alex moaned. “I’ll go.”

  He pushed away from the counter and sighed as he headed into the hall.

  “You can’t just walk the fuck in here; get out!” I heard Alex shout just as Sara walked into the kitchen.

  “Sara,” I whispered. The tightest knot appeared in the pit of my stomach. I had to swallow continuously to stem the sick feeling that had formed in my throat.

  Blake immediately stood defensively in front of me, keeping her at a distance from whatever she was here to do. I tilted my head around Blake’s shoulder in order to see her. She was a mess. Her hair was thrown up in a messy bun, and the usually flawless skin on her face was free from make-up and instead filled with red blotches under her eyes and her cheeks. She looked dreadful; she looked a shadow of the Sara that I knew and disliked.

  “I knew it,” she said angrily.

  “I tried to stop her, but I can’t manhandle no woman no matter who the bitch is; sorry, guys,” Alex said as he appeared behind her and folded his arms across his chest.

  “It’s fine,” Blake said, placing his hands out in front of him in a calming gesture. “Sara obviously has something she needs to say; let’s hear her out, and if we need to, we will get security to remove her. Okay Sara?” He spoke calmly in order not to anger her more than she already appeared to be.

  “How could you do this to me, Blake? How? We had something, something special, until she came back and ruined everything.” Her words were shaky as her anger was visibly rising.

  “We had nothing, Sara,” Blake said, trying to remain calm. “It was just one drunken, stupid mistake that you instigated; there never would have been anything at all if you hadn’t lied through your teeth in the first place. That was sick. What you did was sick, Sara; do you hear me?”

  “I wanted you, Blake; I always have. I wasn’t thinking straight; I just … wanted you.”

  “You kept something important from me.” His voice was now slightly raised; the anger was bubbling inside him. “You did it to hurt Jo, and by doing that, you hurt me too. I never wanted you, Sara; I was angry – angry with Jo because you lied about her. God, she was going through the worst time of her life, and you did that. You disgust me.”

  “I know you don’t mean that, Blake. I can tell that you felt something for me; you still do,” she said sadly.

  “You are delusional. You need help, and I mean professional help; you’re a mess,” he said angrily.

  “There’s only one thing I need, Blake. Please, I need you. If you don’t leave with me now and come home with me, I’ll finish it this time. I’ll be alone in my apartment, and I’ll do it. I’m not afraid; you know I’m not. You know that I’ll do it.”

  “What is she talking about, Blake? What is she going to do?” I asked quietly, not taking my eyes from her.

  She lifted the sleeves from her jumper, revealing two bandages, one around each wrist. It was obvious what she was telling me; she had tried to take her own life. I closed my eyes as my past came back to haunt me. “Fuck no.”

  “You!” she yelled at me. “You made me do this! You! I knew that night at the restaurant; I knew what the fuck you two were doing in that bathroom, behind my back!”

  “Nothing happened in the bathroom; we only talked,” I said shakily. “And it wouldn’t have been behind your back; you weren’t together, Sara.”

  “Is that what he told you?” She let out a sad laugh. “Did you tell her we were nothing?” she said, turning her attention to Blake.

  “We were nothing!” he yelled. “I made one mistake – one big, huge mistake – and then you wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone!”

  My body started to physically shake. It was as though I were reliving the worst night of my life all over again. I needed to breathe. I could feel the whole world slowly slipping away as my mind struggled to process what was happening in front of me.

  “And as for your wrists, you did that to yourself for attention, Sara; it’s got nothing to do with Jo or me,” Blake spat out. “It’s you; you’re nothing but a crazy fucking bitch.”

  Sara’s eyes saddened even more. “But you helped me, Blake; you cared for me. If you felt nothing for me, you wouldn’t have done that; you would have let me carry on until I killed myself.”

  Her words hit me like a slap in the face. “Did you know she did this?” I asked shakily.

  “I didn’t want to feel any responsibility for your stupid actions, Sara; of course I wouldn’t have let you kill yourself,” he stated. “You need help serious help.”

  “I need you,” she sobbed.

  I could see Casey rouse from her drunken state on the couch. She stood up, slowly rubbing her head before heading into the kitchen. Her eyes caught mine, and I shook my head in warning to her, but she gave me a look of confusion before turning her eyes to Sara.

  “What the fuck are you doing in my apartment? Get out now!”

  “Casey,” Sara said desperately, “tell Jo; tell her what Blake and I were, please. You know; you know what was going on between us. Tell her, please.”

  “You were a mistake,” she said firmly. “Now get out of my home before I kick your skanky ass out myself.”

  “I’m not leaving without Blake.”

  “Go, Sara, now,” Blake demanded. “There never was and there never will be anything between us. If I could go back and erase every single memory I have of you, believe me, I would do it right now. You were a mistake. Do you hear me? A mistake!”

  “She has done this to you; I know she has!” she
yelled. “I hate you! You have ruined my life, and I hate you! You will pay; you will fucking pay!” she shouted to me.

  “Enough!” Blake yelled.

  Sara sank to the floor, sobbing into her hands. She was a woman broken. She had believed that she and Blake could be something; she had believed that she meant more to him than she really did. I knew the signs; I had seen it all before. And as much as I was falling in love with Blake so quickly and so hard, I wasn’t sure I could go through this again. I wasn’t strong enough physically and mentally to deal with another woman who was in love with the same man as I was.

  Tears started rolling down my cheeks as I saw her sobbing, desperate to be loved. I stepped around Blake, ignoring his hand that he held out for me. “She needs help,” I said shakily as I stared down at her. “Don’t just throw her out onto the street; she could do something stupid.” I sniffed. “She’s not well enough to be alone.”

  I looked up at Blake. He was watching me carefully. “Are you okay?” he asked, but I couldn’t answer him. I couldn’t tell him that he, too, needed to go. In that moment I realized that I loved him so much, but that wouldn’t be enough to get through all of this. I had lived my life in fear in London for so long that New York had felt like my safe haven. I couldn’t go through it all again, no matter how much it was going to hurt to say goodbye to Blake, no matter how happy I had felt over the past few days and how much I knew Blake was right for me, I couldn’t go through it again; I needed to let him go.

  I stepped around Sara and headed down the hall and into my bedroom.

  After closing the door quietly behind me, I fell onto my bed and sobbed uncontrollably. I could hear voices in the hallway, and I was pretty sure that Sara was still in the kitchen.

  My mind tried to process everything that had happened over the past few days. I had opened the door to Blake on Friday and had ended up spending the most wonderful weekend with him. I had seen my future with him. I had seen that I could be happy again. I had fallen in love with him. I had felt wanted. I felt through his kiss alone how much he felt for me. And then Sara had turned up and reminded me of the reality. While we had spent time in our bubble, everything was perfect. Things were never that simple in the outside world, and this episode had proved that.