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Collecte Works

Page 24

by Lorine Niedecker


  feud.

  Go home where the greenbird

  is—the trees where you pass

  to grass.

  As above in Neon 4 (1959): n.p.

  T&G adds the title and alters the lineation slightly.

  Revised to the present text for MLBW.

  Along the river MFT, T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA, VV].

  In both poem VI of “FOR PAUL: GROUP FOUR” MS (undated, probably 1951) and FPOP, the poem opens with the following line: I take it slow

  T&G variant line 6: gave me this

  LN to LZ, Dec. 24, 1962: “I wonder if we dare to close the gap someday—What we feel, see, inside us and outside us melted together absolutely. There's this new sense in poetry—even I with lines into each other as ‘Along the river’—your contrapuntals—” (NCZ 327).

  He moved in light T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA].

  On MS dated Dec. 14, 1950, the poem is paired with “Keen and lovely man moved as in a dance.”

  Poem XIII of “FOR PAUL: GROUP TWO” MS, dated Dec. 30, 1950, and poem XIII of “FOR PAUL: GROUP TWO,” New Mexico Quarterly 21.1 (Spring 1951): 208.

  LN to LZ, March 15, 1951: “I feel I'm on the way to something, especially with the use of lines and words that look backward and forward as “he moved in light…” (NCZ 177-78).

  Keen and lovely man moved as in a dance T&G, MLBW [FPOP].

  On MS dated Dec. 14, 1950, the poem is titled “Office Blues,” with variant lines 2-3:

  to be considerate in his outdoor-lighted

  glass-walled office. Industrial relations

  LN's annotation: “(Industrial relations and business weren't all he knew, that's my meaning. But if the above doesn't do it, put Business in place of Industrial relations. How involved can you make this?—are you the lawyer-poet?) I've put back say and said—you can't condense this kind of thing—it's either this or nothing. These on this page I hadn't intended for FOR PAUL but now I don't know—Blues song and both springing out of looking for a job—what do you think?”

  On the MS, LZ suggests a revision of line 2: lighted almost outdoor.

  The “FOR PAUL: GROUP TWO” MS, dated Dec. 30, 1950, numbers the poem XII and revises lines 2-4:

  to be considerate in his lighted, glass-walled

  almost outdoor office. Business

  wasn't all he knew. He knew music, art. The guy

  Poem XII in “FOR PAUL: GROUP TWO,” New Mexico Quarterly 21.1 (Spring 1951): 207, revises line 4: wasn't all he knew. He knew music, art.

  Revised to the present text for FPOP.

  He lived—childhood summers T&G, MLBW [FPOP].

  Six versions of this poem survive.

  (i) undated, possibly part of the MS dated Aug. 21, 1950:

  He lived. He had it—childhood summer

  thru bare feet

  then years of handling money,

  silver cold and heat.

  Forever the flood—out of it came

  his wood, dog,

  woman, lost her, daughter—

  dog paws are warm.

  He planted trees, buried carp

  beneath the rose,

  Saw motion in the stillest

  as the marsh rail goes.

  To bankers on the high land

  he opened his wine tank

  and sent his only daughter

  to work in the bank.

  (ii) MS dated Nov. 23, 1951:

  He lived. He had it—childhood summers

  thru bare feet

  then years of handling money,

  silver cold and heat.

  Forever the flood—out of it came

  his wood, dog,

  woman, lost her, daughter,

  finish, prologue.

  He planted trees, buried carp

  beneath the rose,

  saw how grass-still

  the marsh rail goes.

  To bankers on the high land

  he opened his wine tank

  who sent his only daughter

  to work in the bank.

  But to her he gave a source

  to sustain her,

  a weedy speech when she spoke,

  a marshy retainer.

  LN offers alternative lines 5-6:

  beside the river. Out of the flood

  came wood, dog

  (iii) MS dated Dec. 1, 1951:

  He lived. He had it—childhood summers

  thru bare feet

  then years of handling money,

  silver and heat

  beside the river—out of the flood

  came his wood, dog,

  woman, lost her, daughter

  and she'll be gone.

  He planted trees, buried carp

  beneath the rose,

  saw how grass-still

  the marsh rail goes.

  To bankers on the high land

  he opened his wine tank

  and sent his only daughter

  to work in the bank.

  But for her he was a source

  to sustain her,

  a weedy substance in her speech,

  a marshy retainer.

  LZ suggests LN remove “he had it” from line 1 and “then” from line 3, that she restore her earlier “finish, prologue” to line 8, and that she replace “who” with “He” in line 15.

  (iv) A reconstruction in LZ's holograph dated Dec. 12, 1951:

  Out of flood, came

  his wood, dog

  woman, lost her, daughter,

  finish, prologue

  He lived the water, buried carp

  beneath the rose,

  Where like still grass

  the marsh rail goes

  To bankers on high land

  opened his wine tank

  that had his only daughter

  work in the bank.

  But gave her a source

  to sustain her

  a weedy speech—she spoke,

  a marshy retainer

  His childhood summer

  thru bare feet

  years of handling money,

  cold and heat

  (v) The version in Golden Goose 4.5 (Oct. 1952): 6, and also in FPOP is a revision of the Dec. 1, 1951, draft; lines 1-8:

  He lived—childhood summers

  thru bare feet

  then years of handling money's

  cold and heat

  beside the river—out of flood

  came his wood, dog,

  woman, lost her, daughter,

  finish, prologue.

  line 11: where grass-still

  line 17: But he gave her a source

  line 19: a weedy speech

  The sixth and final revision (which is the present text) appears in T&G and MLBW.

  I rose from marsh mud, T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA, VV].

  Conceived in June 1945—see NCZ 151.

  LN's Dec. 20, 1948, letter to Eugene Magner at the Lockwood Memorial Library, State University of New York, Buffalo, responds to his request for drafts that reveal compositional method:

  I find that the main steps in a recent poem are at hand and enclose them. The papers are numbered in order of composition, beginning with mere note-taking to preserve images and idea. No. 2, a mere sketch, while at office work, intended free verse form. No. 3 after saying the lines to myself before sleep at night and on waking. No. 4 as sent to James Laughlin IV for New Directions. Final version, no. 5…will ask Mr. Laughlin to make two slight changes.

  Enclosure no. 1, typescript with holograph annotations below:

  the primordial slime—bits of things like algae. hair-like plants, equisetum—fern-like foliage with hollow stem. Planted willows in it. make my own beginning of creation. Arose from the primordial mud to go to a wedding, expensive affair in church. candles, satin, diamonds. One of those little girls who is a slave to International Sterling Silver. A long step from algae to the girl-slave, free to be a slave, a mind to support the silver kings. A long step from cell-division to the sweating of the male while the other tak
es her time acquiring silver and diamonds, donning and taking off satins. And he goes on sweating to pay for em. The church, with no other good for us than its rich silence, its candles and its organ tones. With some people there can be no procreation with The Church…and International Sterling.

  Holograph notes:

  mental cell division

  earliest organism hardest thing in world—diamond—can't melt it

  All history passed thru me in that half hr in church

  white

  gleam

  rich silence with organ tones

  silver

  diamonds

  sensuous green free vs hard silver convention

  All flesh is grass

  all blood and bones = grass

  Enclosure no. 2, holograph MS:

  Up from marsh mud

  birds noisy

  green frogs

  to see her in the rich shade

  of the church

  little white slave girl

  Satin, gleaming silver

  These two united to serve

  Solid Silver

  Possession

  Enclosure no. 3, typescript:

  Up from marsh mud

  algae, equisetum, willows,

  sweet green, noisy

  birds and frogs

  to see her wed in the rich

  rich silence of the church,

  the little white slave-girl

  in her diamond fronds.

  Now in aisle and arch

  the satin secret collects.

  These two united to serve

  Solid Silver. Possessed.

  Enclosure no. 4, typescript with the following variants:

  line 1: I arose from marsh mud,

  lines 11-12: United for life to serve/silver. Possessed.

  Enclosure no. 5, typescript with the following variants:

  line 1: I rose from marsh mud,

  line 9: In aisle and arch

  In “THREE POEMS,” New Directions 11 (1949): 302, with “Don't tell me property is sacred” and “Sunday's motor cars.” Appears here with line 6: Now in aisle and arch

  LN regretted that this poem was excluded from MFT.

  In Poor.Old.Tired.Horse. 1 (undated, probably March 1962): n.p., with “Linnaeus in Lapland.”

  Dear Mona, Mary and all Unpublished [FPOP].

  The Aug. 30, 1955, MS sent to Dahlberg inserts a line between present lines 9 and 10: Instead of by the government

  Don't tell me property is sacred! T&G, MLBW [FPOP].

  Undated MS.

  With “I rose from marsh mud” and “Sunday's motor cars” in “THREE POEMS,” New Directions 11 (1949): 302, with a variant final line: with poor eyes and a house.

  In FPOP line 3, “rolling” is replaced with “riding.”

  Wartime T&G, MLBW [FPOP].

  Untitled in MS dated 1945, in the New Mexico Quarterly 20 (Summer 1950): 208, and in FPOP.

  In NMQ it is number “I” of “TWO POEMS”— “II” is “Swept snow, Li Po.”

  In MS and FPOP, variant line 4: whose stillness is alive.

  In MS, NMQ, FPOP, and T&G, variant line 7: with noise and flame, by learning change

  Revised to the present text for MLBW.

  The poem “News,” lines 5-6, offers an early occurrence of line 12 (see p.79).

  February almost March bites the cold. T&G, MLBW[FPOP, EA].

  MS dated March 5, 1951:

  line 1: In February almost March I bite the cold.

  LN's alternative line 1: In February almost March we bite the cold.

  line 8: There are no objects here, only velocities.

  LZ notes his suggested omissions from lines 1 and 8 on the MS.

  MS dated March 19, 1951, accepts his suggestions and revises to the present text.

  LN to LZ, dated March 15, 1951: “I have lots to say about Feb. almost March but we're both fed up talking about it. Her a goddess? Because I mention Eden (God?)? You see, this thing of changing a poem means a different thing, different rhythm and pretty soon the whole original idea and movement in the mind of the writer is gone and the whole thing would have to be done over. However, I'll keep your suggestions. Copy of it enclosed” (NCZ 178).

  Montevallo Review 1.4 (Summer 1953): 12, with a variant line 8: no object here

  People, people— T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA].

  First appearance FPOP.

  In a five-poem group titled “IN EXCHANGE FOR HAIKU,” Neon 4 (1959): n.p.

  July, waxwings T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA].

  FPOP has two variants:

  line 1: July, the waxwings.

  line 4: a dead

  In the five-poem group titled “IN EXCHANGE FOR HAIKU,” Neon 4 (1959): n.p., line 1 reads as above and line 2 reads: on my berries

  In EA, line 1 reads: July—waxwings

  Old man who seined MFT, T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA,VV].

  First appearance FPOP.

  In a five-poem group titled “IN EXCHANGE FOR HAIKU,” Neon 4 (1959): n.p., in “EIGHT POEMS,” Monks Pond 1 (Spring 1968): 5, and in The Voice That is Great Within Us: American Poetry of the 20th Century, ed. Hayden Carruth (New York: Bantam, 1970).

  Mother is dead T&G, MLBW [FPOP].

  Until T&G and MLBW, this was the first poem in a numbered three-poem sequence titled “THE ELEMENT MOTHER.” FPOP titles the poem “She's Dead.” The second poem in the sequence is “The graves” (see following note) and the third is “Kepler” (see below). The sequence survives in FPOP and in Origin ser. 2, 2 (July 1961): 29, but dissolves in T&G and MLBW.

  LN to LZ, March 23, 1956: “got started on a poem about my mother—this is her birthday and the snow and Marcus Aurelius and my overloaded loneliness and it's a temptation to write like Yeats, a kind of mellifluous, lush overloading (kind of folk element in it tho at that) but I must not” (NCZ 227).

  The graves T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA, VV].

  Early MS dated 1945:

  The Graves and the Other Woman

  You were my mother, peony bush,

  you worried over life's raw push.

  But you, my father, catalpa tree,

  were as serene as now—he refused to see

  that the woman he shaded hotly cared

  for his purse petals falling—his mind in the air.

  Revised to the present text for FPOP.

  Origin ser. 2, 2 (July 1961): 29.

  See preceding note, for “Mother is dead.”

  Kepler Unpublished in book form [FPOP].

  Origin ser. 2, 2 (July 1961): 29.

  See note above for “Mother is dead.”

  Bonpland Unpublished [FPOP].

  Happy New Year T&G, MLBW [FPOP].

  MS dated Jan. 4, 1951, has variant lines 6-10:

  My friend, two thousand years

  beyond you

  I hand you this:

  you were right.

  Happy New Year

  LN's annotation: “Happy New Year—as I hear it sung there is slight pause after bitter and so winter brotherhood comes together—these phrases that look forward and back are fascinating to do but I suppose there's a limit. Trees could have apostrophe after it. What started the whole thing aside from ‘better than bitter’ was an inversion: ‘with sorrow clean’ Silly? We still get our deepest feeling of beauty from old trad. lit.”

  The MS carries LZ's suggested changes to the above lines 6-10.

  A later MS dated Jan. 12, 1951, adopts his suggestions:

  My friend, you were right.

  Two thousand years

  beyond you

  I hand you this:

  LN's annotations: “Would hyphens in ‘bloom with snow’ make it less trite? or snowbloom? (kind of effeminate).”

  Both MSS are numbered XVI of “FOR PAUL: GROUP TWO” and both merge the present stanzas 1 and 2. The poem “Happy New Year” becomes poem XIX in “FOR PAUL: GROUP TWO,” New Mexico Quarterly 21.2 (Spring 1951): 211, which also merges stanzas 1 and 2.

  Revised to the present text for FPO
P.

  MLBW hyphenates “snow-/clean” (lines 10-11).

  1957-1959

  In Feb. 1957 LN began a menial job at the Fort Atkinson Memorial Hospital; she would retire in Nov. 1963.

  Between 1957 and 1959, her five-line stanza with its rhyming third and fourth lines predominates: “did I create a new form…influence of haiku I suppose…” (NCZ 230). These “five-liners” first occur during the “FOR PAUL” project: the 1950 “Lugubre for a child,” and the 1956 “July, waxwings,” “People, people,” and “Old man who seined.” They are next seen in MS in 1957 and 1958.

  In T&G and MLBW she grouped many of these five-liners (most of which are single-stanza poems) in a section titled “IN EXCHANGE FOR HAIKU.” The title is first used in Neon 4 (1959): n.p., where it groups five poems: “July, the waxwings,” “Old man who seined” (two stanzas), “People, people,” “Linnaeus in Lapland” (two stanzas), “Fog-thick morning.” Another selection of five-liners appears numbered but untitled in Origin ser. 2, 2 (July 1961): 27—“Hear,” “Springtime's wide,” “How white the gulls,” “My friend tree,” and “New-sawed.” EA names a group of 13 poems “IN EXCHANGE FOR HAIKU”; two of these are “The soil is poor” and “Michelangelo,” poems which are subsequently grouped with “POEMS AT THE PORTHOLE” in H&SF (see pp. 286-87). One of the prominent five-liners of the period, “My friend tree,” the title poem of the 1961 volume published by Ian Hamilton Finlay's Wild Hawthorn Press in Edinburgh, Scotland, is not grouped with “IN EXCHANGE FOR HAIKU” in T&G and MLBW, but rather with the folk poems.

  Linnaeus in Lapland T&G, MLBW [EA].

  MS dated 1957 includes “Fog-thick morning.”

  In a five-poem group titled, “IN EXCHANGE FOR HAIKU,” Neon 4 (1959): n.p.

  Also in Poor.Old.Tired.Horse. 1 (undated, probably March 1962): n.p., with “I rose from marsh mud” and in “EIGHT POEMS,” Monks Pond 1 (Spring 1968): 5.

  Fog-thick morning— Unpublished in book form.

  MS dated 1957 includes “Linnaeus in Lapland.”

  In a five-poem group titled “IN EXCHANGE FOR HAIKU,” Neon 4 (1959): n.p.

  Hear T&G, MLBW [EA].

  In the 13-poem MS dated Jan. 1958.

  Origin ser. 2, 2 (July 1961): 27; one of five numbered poems.

  Cricket-song— Unpublished.

  MS dated 1957 and perhaps sent to LZ with her Sept. 2, 1957, letter: “when I suddenly came on the review of Some Time in The Times Book Review I was moved to write a pome and I diddit—two stanzys of my 5 liners” (NCZ 238).

  The poem appears again on the MS dated Jan. 1958, one of 13 poems (all “five-liners”).

  Musical Toys Unpublished.

 

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