My Kinda Kisses

by Lacey Black

  The only thing this place is missing is a garage. Back up, it has a garage, but it’s a little one-car detached thing that you can barely manage to maneuver yourself around when the car is inside, it’s so tiny. But there’s enough yard space for a larger garage, so Ryan has ordered the lumber to erect a two and a half car garage with a workshop in back, plus a breezeway that’ll connect the garage to the side door.

  The location is perfect for us, too. It’s closer to the edge of town, about two blocks off the Bay. It’s a double, corner lot with young families as neighbors. In fact, watching the three-year-old little boy throw a ball around in his backyard today has gotten my biological clock not only ticking, but thumping and bumping.

  My entire family, as well as Mary and Mrs. Hanson, all helped pitch in to combine my belongings with Ryan’s household into our new home. We had sorted through most of the big things, tossing or donating what we didn’t want to keep, so the process of moving today was smooth and seamless.

  To thank them all for their time and help, Ryan and I prepared burgers and brats on the grill, and picked up a few sides from the deli uptown. When the last box was unloaded and the final piece of furniture arranged, my grandma, Mary, and Mrs. Hanson set out to organize the kitchen and find what we needed for dinner. Dad and Ryan manned the grill, while Josh and my sisters brought around lawn chairs and the patio furniture, all with Grandpa supervising from the sidelines.

  The sun set hours ago, but we’re still sitting on the small deck behind our house. Everyone but Mary and Mrs. Hanson are still here, huddled around the fire pit my dad gave us as a housewarming gift. Ryan stoked the fire warm and large, the yellow and orange glow lighting up a portion of the expansive backyard.

  I’m huddled against Ryan, partly because I’m cold and the other part because it feels good to be snuggled up to him. He’s drinking a beer, but I stopped an hour ago. Exhaustion is starting to creep in, and I plan to be fully awake to enjoy our first official night together in our new house.

  “Did you hear that Donny Casem and Shelisa Franklin broke up?” Meghan asks from her position atop Josh’s lap.

  “Really? He was in your class, right, Payton?” AJ asks, sipping from her glass of wine.

  “Yeah,” Payton replies nonchalantly.

  “You should ask him out,” Lexi insists, her side empty since Chris had to work all day. Again.

  “I don’t think so,” Payton mumbles.

  “Why not?” Abby asks.

  “Because he’s a goofball,” Grandma hollers from the opposite side of the fire. Grandpa chuckles and wraps his arm tightly around her slender shoulder.

  “Truth,” I add.

  “He’s not a goofball, Grandma. Why would you say that?” Abby asks.

  “Any man who sits around playing video games all day long instead of working a job is a goofball. There are so many other more productive things he could be doing with his time like golf or having the sex.”

  Collective groans erupt around us, but Ryan laughs. “I kinda like all the sex, too,” he whispers in my ear.

  “Let’s not talk about sex right now, Grandma,” AJ pleads after guzzling the rest of her drink.

  “Fine. I know! Why don’t we give Jaime and Ryan their housewarming gift?” Grandma turns to Grandpa with a big smile on her face. Without even being asked, Grandpa gets up, shuffles to the doorway, and retrieves a bag.

  The bag isn’t too heavy, but makes a noise as it’s moved. Grandpa gently sets the bag in my lap before returning to his seat beside Grandma. Ryan’s brown eyes sparkle in the night as he nudges me to open it.

  The first thing I pull out of the gift bag is a small crystal bottle with a clear liquid inside. There’s no markings or label indicating the contents. I glance over at Ryan as I hand him the bottle, then glance up at my grandparents with a questioning look.

  “It’s something special just for you two. I picked it up at that herbal place by the Bay. Try it,” Grandma encourages with a smile.

  “What is it?” I ask after Ryan pulls out the cork and takes a whiff, resulting in his nose wrinkling.

  “Don’t do it,” Lexi mumbles, causing all of my sisters to giggle.

  “I’ll tell you what it is after you each try it.” Grandma gives me that look that always made me step in line as a child.

  Without giving it further thought, I grab the bottle and take a shot. It burns as it slides down my throat like scotch or cheap whiskey. My eyes water and I can’t help the sputter and cough that follows.

  “You’re next, son,” Grandma says, eyes twinkling like stars in the sky.

  Ryan gives me a curious look before taking the bottle in his hand and tossing back a drink. He instantly coughs and turns his watery eyes back to me. “Did she just poison us?”

  “It’s not poison, silly. It’s a fertility potion.”

  The only sound is the crackle of the fire. Everyone is stone silent as we absorb her words. “A fertility potion?” I croak.

  “Hey! Guaranteed to help with the baby making process,” Grandma coos.

  “Uhhh, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, Emma, but we haven’t been trying to have a baby, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t wound my manhood before it’s had a chance to prove itself.”

  “Oh, fooey! I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with your manhood, Ryan. In fact, it looked rather impressive that day at your condo. Not to mention the sounds coming from my granddaughter that night at the Bed and Breakfast.”

  “Nope, not happening. Change the subject,” my dad begs.

  “Oh, Brian, it’s a natural part of life. Everyone has the sex, some just better than others.” With that, Grandma winks at me.

  “Let’s see what else is in here,” I say, digging into the bag.

  I pull out a beautiful pillow in hues of white. An intricate design of different types of white fabric is weaved throughout. It’s delicate, yet resilient. “Oh, Grandma, this is beautiful.”

  I show the pillow to Ryan before passing it to AJ beside me.

  “Isn’t it? When I saw it, I knew it was perfect for you and Ryan. I could just picture it gracing your bed. It’s a fertility pillow.”

  AJ screams and tosses the pillow back at me as if it were trying to bite her.

  “What the hell is a fertility pillow?” Ryan asks, taking the pillow and examining it a little closer.

  “You’re supposed to position the pillow beneath her hips to help keep them elevated,” Grandpa explains. “That position helps you get deeper, therefore shorten the length your sperm has to travel to reach the uterus and the descending egg.”

  “And Jaime is supposed to continue to lie on the pillow for at least twenty minutes after your ejaculation. It’ll help keep her hips elevated and ensure gravity takes the spermies where they’re supposed to go,” Grandma adds

  “Spermies?” Lexi whispers.

  “Ejaculation?” Abby adds.

  “I’m out of here,” Dad hollers as he stands up and walks over to give me a hug. “Love you, girl. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Night, Dad. Love you, too.” He shakes Ryan’s hand and kisses each of his other daughters before heading around the side of the house to his truck.

  “Why exactly do we need all of this? We’ve lived together in our new house for about twelve hours. We’re not trying to get pregnant.”

  “Hogwash! It’s never too early to perfect the technique of baby makin’.” Grandma smiles proudly across from us.

  “I’m already a professional at that,” Ryan quips, drawing laughter from my sisters.

  “I’m sure you’re not bad, but there’s always room for improvement! When Orval and I were first dating, he would get all awkward and grabby, thinking everything was the equivalent of a stress ball. It took us a while to get into the groove of nookie together.”

  “Oh, God, she said nookie,” Abby mumbles.

  “What’s this?” I ask, pulling out a leather strap and realizing instan
tly what it is, unable to retract the words or close my eyes quick enough.

  “That’s a flogger, sweetie! They used them in that Christian Grey movie. Grandpa and I like to reenact those scenes. They’re super fun.” Grandma smiles proudly as fire flickers in her eyes.

  “I’m never getting that image out of my head. There isn’t enough therapy offered in the state of Virginia to eradicate that,” AJ groans.

  “I don’t understand why we need this. People have been getting knocked up the regular, old fashioned way without all the potions and stuff for a long time,” Ryan says.

  She gives him a pointed look. “We’re just doing our part to ensure we get great-grandbabies. Soon.”

  “Wait! What about me? I’m the one who’s married and has been trying to have a baby. Why wouldn’t you give this to me?” Lexi asks. Her eyes are shining as if she’s warding off tears.

  “Oh, sweet girl, you don’t need that. There’s nothing wrong with your baby-making machine.” Lexi looks devastated, and I suddenly realize that the subject of babies is hurting her way deeper than I originally thought.

  “Well, thank you for all the…stuff. When we’re ready, I’m sure we’ll use…it…all.”

  Meghan grabs the bag and removes the contents, careful not to touch the pillow. “Don’t wait to use this. Nothing says housewarming gift like a leather flogger from the grandparents, Jaime.” Then she whips the tassels towards a smiling Payton.

  “This might be the weirdest family gathering I’ve ever attended,” Ryan whispers in my ear. “But I like it. And I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I reply moments before placing my lips on his, ready to see what our first night in our new home has in store.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Ryan

  She’s been in the bathroom a long time. Or maybe I’m just that excited to get her in bed that every second she’s not out here is a second too long.

  Her family hung around until eleven or so, chatting and telling stories like they always do. Jaime’s grandparents didn’t stay too long after giving us their weird housewarming gifts. Not that I’m against having a baby with Jaime in any way, I’d just prefer to get her down the aisle and have her wearing my ring before we’re setting up a crib and buying diapers.

  I wonder how quickly I can get her talked into marrying me?

  The sound of the bathroom door opening to our bedroom has me forgetting my thought. The sight of her wearing a white lace negligee that barely covers her ass has me forgetting my own name. She’s a goddess, a vision of every fantasy I’ve ever had all wrapped into one lace-covered package.

  And fuck if that package isn’t ten times better than any fantasy I’ve ever experienced.

  “Come here.” My voice is raspy and deep, laced with hunger and need.

  Jaime struts over to the bed, a little extra swing with each step just for my benefit. The smile on her face lets me know she knows exactly what she’s doing, toying with me like a cat and a string with each step she takes, seducing me further.

  When she approaches the bed, Jaime climbs up and straddles me. My cock is practically clawing out of my briefs. Instantly, I’m assaulted with the scent of her arousal and the heat of her pussy. Glancing down, I realize she’s not wearing panties. Thanks to all things holy I lost most of my clothes before I climbed in bed. My cock pulses in my briefs, begging to come out and play.

  “Don’t move,” I tell her as I run my hands up her smooth legs, gently pushing the white lace up around her hips as I go.

  Jaime sits atop my waist, her body already lined up perfectly for what’s to come. I’ll never tire of the way her body molds to mine as if they were made for one another, the way she sounds when she laughs and when she’s coming, or the way my heart always kicks up a few beats when she’s near. I’ll never want another like I want her, like I need her.

  “What do you think of our new home, Mr. Elson?” she asks, grinding her wetness against my throbbing cock.

  “I’m not thinking at all right now, Miss Summer. I seem to be transfixed on one thing at the moment,” I grit through my teeth, my entire body tense and taut.

  “And what would that one thing be?” she coos, bending forward and letting her hair skim across my chest.

  “You. Always you. And the way my body burns to be inside you.”

  I move my hands from her hips, since they seem to have a mind of their own, and grab a hold of her lace covered nipples, lightly tweaking and rubbing them until they’re stiff. My mouth waters to taste those amazing little nubs. Jaime moans, her hands firmly planted on my chest as she continues to gyrate her hips against me.

  Suddenly, I catch movement out of the corner of my eye just as my sex-induced brain registers pain. Intense, burning pain across my fucking chest that feels like someone doused me with lighter fluid and lit a match. I barely hear Jaime’s scream as I swat away whatever in the hell just attacked me. Her eyes are wide as she looks between my eyes, my chest, and then across the room to where I flung the creature that tried to eat my alive.

  “The fuck?” I holler, moving Jaime to the side to protect her in case Jaws decides to come back for round two.

  I jump up, ready to kill whatever in the hell it is that attacked me and killed my hard-on, but when I look down, I’m certain my eyes are playing tricks on me. A little ball of yellow and white stares up at me from our bedroom floor. I start to get off the bed to see what in the hell it is, but Jaime grabs my arm and halts my progress.

  “Awwwww!” she coos in one of those weird baby voices as she carefully climbs off the bed and picks it up. “Look at this cute little guy.”

  “What the fuck is it doing in our bedroom?”

  “I don’t know,” Jaime replies softly, her face radiating happiness as she rubs the little feline fur ball against her smiling face. “Where did you come from, little sweetie?” she asks the kitten.

  “Don’t care where it came from. Only care about getting it out of here,” I reply, looking down to examine the damage to my chest. Claw marks deep enough to draw blood extend for about six inches down my pecs, barely missing a nipple. “And put that thing down. It could be rabid or something. Look at what it did to me?” I say, but it falls on deaf ears.

  When I glance back up at Jaime, she’s standing there with tears in her eyes, grinning like she just won the damn lottery or something. The little ball of fur is tucked against her chest, sleeping soundly as if lulled to slumber by her beating heart.

  Carefully, I step over and look down at the form in her arms. I’ll admit, it’s a cute little fucker, even if it did just try to maim me with the sharpest kitty claws imaginable. A slip of paper beneath his sleeping body catches my attention. Gently moving Jaime’s hand, I reveal a folded note.

  Here’s the rest of your gift. Jaime’s always wanted a cat, and I figured Ryan wouldn’t mind a little more pussy. Litter box and food in the laundry room. His name is Boots, though Grandma wanted to name him Mammoth because of the size of his shlong. She also says not to neuter him. Enjoy! Love, Grandpa

  “They got me a kitten?” Jaime whispers, her words laced with laughter.

  “They got us a cat,” I repeat deadpanned, unable to reach the level of excitement to match hers.

  “You don’t like cats? How can you not like cats?” Her wide, shocked eyes are focused intently on me.

  “I didn’t say I didn’t like cats, per se, I just think they’re shady and sneaky. And look what he did to my chest,” I add, pointing to the little claw marks that are enflamed and puffy.

  “Ahh, poor baby,” she says, stepping closer until she’s directly in front of me. “I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you. He probably just thought you were hurting his mama.”

  I glance down at the cat, and I swear to God he’s eyeing at me out of the corner of his shifty little eyes. “I wasn’t hurting his mama. If memory serves correctly, I was doing the complete opposite of hurting her.”

  Jaime’
s eyes light up and a devilish little grin spreads across her face. “You would be correct. There was no hurting involved. It was only pleasure.”

  “Make sure you explain that to Freddy Krueger there. I don’t want him attacking me or anything that dangles.”

  “Why don’t you go grab a warm washcloth and wash up those scratches. I’m going to get Boots settled.” And with that, Jaime turns and leaves the room.

  My hard-on died a thousand deaths about ten minutes ago, but just the thought of climbing back into bed with Jaime and finishing what we started causes the blood to flow to one centralized location once again. In the bathroom, fortunately we unpacked the necessities and I’m able to find a washcloth quickly. I gently run it over the claw marks, wincing as the material brushes against the ripped flesh.

  Damn cat.

  Even though I’m anxious to get back in bed with the woman I love, I take a few extra minutes to use the head and brush my teeth. This is our first night in our new house, and I’m not about to let that beast ruin all the things I have planned to do to–and with–Jaime. Starting at her sexy red painted toes, I’m going to lick my way up her soft skin, all the way to her kiss-me lips. Lips that I wouldn’t mind seeing wrapped around my cock.

  Suddenly, more anxious than before to get back to Jaime, I turn off the light and head into our bedroom. She’s lying on her side, facing where I will be very soon. There’s an extra skip in my step as I make my way over to my side of the bed–or the side Jaime deemed as my side back when she started staying over at my place more than she was at her own.

  When I round the corner of the bed, I stop in my tracks. “I thought you said you were going to get him settled?”

  “I did. Grandma and Grandpa didn’t provide a bed so I thought he could snuggle with us tonight.”

  “Put him in the utility room with his food and litter box.”

  “But there’s no bed in there. Plus, it’s his first night in a new place. What if he gets scared?”