Samurai Zombie Hunter

by Cristian YoungMiller

  “How come?”

  “You would be surprised who hires us. One of our clients hired me to come and kill him because he was a zombie and was scared that he would hurt someone.”

  Lilly’s face melted. “That’s so sad.”

  The story touched her in a way that Van hadn’t expected and he was unsure why.

  “What happened?” Lilly prompted.

  The night with Charles flashed through his mind, reminding him that he had infected Charles’ wife. “I…” Van couldn’t get himself to say anymore.

  Lilly’s heart broke when she saw Van hesitate. She assumed that Van had reluctantly fulfilled his contract. “How do you do it? How do you look another person in the eye and then end his life?”

  “Well, for one, it is easier when you don’t refer to them as people. They’re zombies and they infect and kill people.”

  Van looked up at Lilly who was sitting silently. Van looked down at the table. “But you know I’m trying to give it up.”

  “You should. It’s inhuman what you do.”

  He knew she was right, but he also needed her to understand why what he did was ok. “I don’t think you know what it’s like out there.”

  “I don’t?”

  “No, you don’t.” He formulated his explanation while they ordered. Afterward he began. “Have you ever met a zombie?”

  “I don’t know. I’m sure I have.”

  “Have you ever seen a zombie attack someone? It’s awful. The way it loses its mind, the way it chews into the person’s brain… I think if you saw it, you would have a different opinion. But it’s not even that. It’s the other ones that are truly awful.”

  “Which other ones?” Lilly asked with an unrelenting wrinkle on her brow.

  “The ones those zombies become. I bet you’ve never seen one of those.”

  Lilly shook her head no.

  “They’re brainless. Their bodies are mangled and rotting. And there is a vacant look in their eyes that’s haunting. It’s like they’re alive but not. It’s like a part of them has already died and they are begging for someone to finish the rest. Killing them feels like charity work. I am the merciful angel of death to those zombies. I know that I would never want to become them. And if someone like me came along and ended it all for me, all I would be is grateful.”

  Van looked at Lilly again. She didn’t look well. She was clearly positioned in a way that was meant to relieve pain and she was beginning to sweat.

  “Are you ok?” Van asked concerned.

  “I don’t know. I think I might have eaten something bad this morning. I don’t feel well.”

  “Do you wanna go?” Van asked hesitantly.

  “I think I should.”

  Van paused for a moment adjusting to the disappointment. “I’ll try not to take it personally.”

  “No. It’s not you. I just don’t feel well. I wanna do this again. I just can’t right now. I’m sorry.”

  “No, don’t worry about it. Feel better. Wait, I’ll walk you to your car.”

  “No, don’t. I’m ok. Enjoy your lunch. I’m sorry I ruined it.”

  “No, don’t worry about it. Just feel better and I’ll take you up on doing this again.”

  “Good, because I want to,” Lilly said, unable to muster up a smile.

  “I’ll call you,” Van added as she walked off.

  Lilly made her way through the restaurant as quickly as she could. On the sidewalk, she focused in on her car and did her best to stop herself from running. Unlocking her door, she couldn’t wait to get inside and lay back the chair. And finally below the level of the window she allowed the tears to come out. ‘The cravings are so strong,’ she thought. Crying was the only thing she could do to prevent herself from grabbing a pedestrian off the street and eating her right there.

  Lilly had never felt a craving as strong as she was having. There was something about Van and his story of the undead that had set her off. She hated the fact that she was a zombie. She was unable to face that she too would become one of the soulless creatures Van described. Unless someone like Van granted her sweet release, that would be her future. With all of her thoughts about the future hanging over her, she already considered herself one of the walking dead. It simply wasn’t official yet.

  Back at the table, Van sat alone waiting for his Monte Cristo to arrive. Sitting by himself in the back of the restaurant made him feel more alone than ever. He would never have suspected that she would have left so abruptly. He had opened himself up. But with her gone he was just an open wound being stung by the breeze.

  Alone with his thoughts Van determined that it was his story about zombies that had driven her away. If she couldn’t even stand to hear him talk about zombies, she would never accept him being one. She was a quality girl. Really, he should never have considered sullying someone as wonderful as her with his infected presence. Van felt that if he were really worthy of a great girl like Lilly then he would never call her again. She deserved a better life than one including his mess of an existence. But sadly, he wasn’t that good of a person – he needed to call her again, and this unworthiness haunted him and made his skin burn.

  When the food came he sent Lilly’s back and ate his own. During the endless bites he thought of what lie ahead. He considered how long he would have to wait before his infection ran wild in the shadows of alleyways. He calculated the logistics of grabbing a man and feeding on him in the bathroom of this restaurant. But then decided that it would mean another line crossed, one he couldn’t re-draw.

  He ate his tasteless sandwich until his phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he remembered that he had ignored all of Kofi’s texts. It would probably have been better to read the texts first, but Van needed contact with another person.

  “Van, where have you been, man?” Kofi asked from the other end of the phone.

  “I had something to do. What’s up?”

  “Didn’t you get any of my texts? I need you down at the courthouse as soon as you can get here.”

  Van looked at the clock on the wall behind the bar. “I can be there in about 15 minutes.”

  “You can?” Kofi asked with surprise.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “No, that’s good. Meet me at The Land’s parking lot. Do you know where that is?”

  “Sure,” Van answered, not caring why. “I’ll head out in a minute.”

  “I’ll see you then.”

  Van hung up the phone and pushed his plate forward. He hoped Kofi would have an assignment waiting for him when he arrived - he desperately felt the need to kill something. His mind was going to crumble apart otherwise.

  After parking at the courthouse, he learned that he wasn’t called for an assignment. C.R.A.H. had organized a political rally on the steps of the courthouse and it was well-attended by people on both sides of the debate.

  Kofi led Van to seats behind the podium as Robert Tailgate and Drew appeared out of the crowd. The timing made it seem as though the politicians had been waiting on the samurai. This made Van feel trapped.

  From behind the podium, Tailgate addressed the crowd. As he did, Van took the opportunity to scan the audience. Many were dressed in suits but another contingent was certainly not. At a police–enforced distance away from the rally were the protestors. They wore jeans and tee shirts. And standing still as the others marched around was one man staring back at him. It was Kieran.

  Kieran looked stunned at Van’s appearance. His body was visibly deflated and even from that distance Van was sure that he could see sadness in Kieran’s eyes. It wasn’t Van’s intention to heartbreak his friend. But now that he was there, Van felt like there was no way he could leave. Van looked away in shame.

  “You might not have known this before you arrived,” Tailgate said. “But this is one of the greatest days in the history of our species. Today is the first day that we take back our planet from those who threaten us. Today is the first day that we as a species stand up and say ‘No more.’ No more
being scared to walk around at night. No more looking around and wondering if the person next to you is going to attack you the next time you turn your head. No more being afraid that from the gutters and riverbeds will rise the masses of the sick and undead to take your family, to take your children, to take away your way of life. Today is the day that we say, ‘No more!’”

  The crowd erupted into a bloodthirsty cheer.

  “And now, I’m proud to introduce the people who are going to get us there. They are our newest addition, but their involvement represents a change in who we are as an organization and who humans are as a race. I give you Mr. Donavan Leeds and Mr. Kofi Velis.

  Van was shocked when he heard his named called. Kofi, who stood up immediately, yelled down at Van, “Get up.”

  In a daze, Van stood up – the cheers intensified. Somewhere in the weeks that had passed, Kofi - and Van in particular – had stopped being celebrities and developed into saviors of the pure race. Van could not help but look back at Kieran.

  Kieran was not as surprised as he was before. There was, instead, a resolute look on his face. He and Van understood what Tailgate had just done: he had made the war inevitable. The only questions now were when it would start and who would win.

  With a strong jaw, Van looked over at Kofi, who was busy bathing in the crowd’s approval. Van leaned down so he was sure that Kofi could hear.

  “You just killed us all.”

  Van was sure that Kofi had heard him. What Van wasn’t sure about was whether he cared. Van took it upon himself to make sure that Kofi soon would.

  *****

  Chapter 13

  Two Worlds Collide

  Van sat on his couch with the drapes drawn and the TV on. He’d taken to closing the drapes after being introduced as the newest addition to C.R.A.H. He hadn’t realized at the time how much the world would start to watch what he did. His admirers no longer looked for fist bumps in clubs, they were now parked outside his door with long-lens cameras. His every move was now being recorded and closed drapes were the only way that he could have any privacy at all.

  And he did want privacy during this programming. He had never been a fan of daytime TV, but after getting a look at the promo he knew he had to watch this - a talk show hosted by four doctors called House Calls. Every day they looked at a different medical topic; today’s topic was zombie-ism and Kieran was the guest.

  Kieran spoke of his struggles after he was first infected. He described how the cravings threatened to overcome him and how after a raw foods-only retreat, the cravings had diminished. He then went into some mumbo jumbo about how cravings were attached to unbalanced hormones and how dieting and supplements were the key to staying craving-free.

  It was completely unbelievable to Van. He had felt the psychological and physiological feelings that accompanied a craving - they were almost impossible to resist. But, if it soothed the world’s lust for zombie blood, then Kieran’s misinformation campaign was worth it.

  Van looked at his phone when he heard it ring. The caller ID said Kofi. Van hadn’t taken his calls since the rally and he didn’t feel a need to start now.

  As the phone continued to ring, there was a knock on the door.

  “I can hear your phone Van. I know you’re in there.” Kofi jiggled the doorknob hoping it might be unlocked. It wasn’t. “Come on Van, I need to talk to you. There are things we need to discuss that I can’t yell through a door with all of these cameras watching.”

  “You put those cameras there,” Van yelled to Kofi.

  “I know. And I’m sorry Van. You just don’t understand what’s going on. They know things, Van, and I was just looking out for your best interests.”

  Van considered what Kofi had said. Robert Tailgate had made it clear that C.R.A.H. was a worldwide organization. That being the case, it wasn’t hard for Van to assume that they also had spies everywhere. Before recently, he wasn’t as cautious with his activities as he should have been. All it took now was one person identifying him from a surveillance camera or alleyway and he would become the face of the enemy. Whether he wanted to or not, he needed to let Kofi in. Van had never craved this attention. But now that he had it he was more vulnerable than ever – he had to rely on others, even others he couldn’t trust.

  Van opened the door and Kofi walked in. Judging by the smell, Kofi imagined that Van hadn’t opened a window in days. Kofi took this as a bad sign.

  “I would ask where you’ve been, but it’s clear that you haven’t left your house in a while,” Kofi stated looking around for his sword.

  “What do you want, Kofi?” Van said cutting straight to the point.

  Kofi found Van’s sword where it should have been, on his samurai shrine. Kofi couldn’t explain why, but he took this as a good sign.

  “You need to come with me,” Kofi stated empathetically.

  “And why is that?”

  “Because the minute that they saw us on the news we became involved. And now that we are involved, there’s no going back.”

  “The only reason we were on the news was because of you! If they’re after you, then that’s your own fault. All of this is your fault.”

  “Not all, Van. Some of this is yours.”

  Van struggled to understand Kofi’s point and ignored it when he couldn’t.

  “Besides, they never wanted me, Van. They always wanted you. From the moment they saw us, they set their sights on you. And you don’t know who these people are - they are funded by the people who run countries from the shadows. There are people willing to pay billions to make this zombie problem go away. And all of them look at you as the one that could make that happen. No, this has always been about you.”

  Van was unnerved to the point of sitting down. He didn’t want this to be true, but there was something inside him that knew it was. He knew his life from now on would be under an inordinate amount of scrutiny and nothing else would be the same.

  “What do they want me to do?” Van asked, trying to control his breathing.

  “Train some men. That’s all. They feel that if they had a few people who could do what you can do and that understood what you know about zombies, they could have them train others. And with them in place they could go on the offensive and end the zombie war before it starts. That’s not too much to ask is it? You spend a few days, a few weeks with a few guys and then you’ll never have to work again. You’d be done.”

  “Would they let me return to my life?” Van asked trying to find his way out of the spotlight.

  “Yeah. You give them what they want and they won’t need you anymore. You could just walk away.”

  This was appealing. The war between humans and zombies was inevitable, it was just a matter of choosing sides. Pure humans deserved a fighting chance. Lilly deserved a fighting chance. And if Van did what they asked, the human side might have one.

  “I’ll do it,” Van concluded.

  “Yes!” Kofi yelled. “Oh Van, you won’t regret this. Tonight - there’s a meeting tonight. It’s at eight o’clock at the Cole’s Hotel in Santa Monica. We can meet there and walk up together. You will not regret this.”

  Kofi excitedly walked to the door. He glowed as he glanced back at Van. Coffey was proud of what he had done. He considered it his finest negotiation. And for it, he would be rich.

  Van locked the door behind Kofi. Once again the room was silent. He tried to return to the TV program but found it was over. He then strolled over and stood in front of his sword. It no longer called to him. In fact, as Van turned away he heard nothing at all. The silence hurt.

  Van walked back over to the coffee table where his phone lay. He picked it up, scrolled through the numbers and found the one that could most easily fill the silence.

  “Hi Lilly, it’s Van. Do you wanna grab some dinner tonight? Maybe around eight?”

  She agreed and the night was set.

  Later that night, when he left, the paparazzi were set. Only one car followed Van when he left his parking spo
t, but within minutes there were four more. He noticed but he pretended not to. And he hoped that by not provoking them they would fade into the background.

  Van circled Hollywood Boulevard a few times looking for a parking spot. When he found one, it wasn’t too long before there was someone with a camera in his face.

  “Hey Van, Van, hunting any zombies tonight?” the videographer yelled.

  “Just gonna grab some dinner, that’s all,” Van replied, not looking into the camera.

  “Hey, do you think that the world is being overrun by zombies?”

  Van looked up at the cameraman, trying to check his eyes for dark circles. He couldn’t see past the camera’s portable light shining in his face. “Do you think it’s being overrun by zombies?” Van asked, turning the tables.

  “I’m not the zombie hunter,” he replied.

  “Are you the zombie?” Van asked, getting a little annoyed by the questions.

  “That depends. Did you bring your sword?”

  “You think I need a sword?” Van replied with a smile on his lips and anger in his eyes.

  Van approached the restaurant and the cameraman backed off.

  “Ok, have a nice dinner Van.”

  “Thanks,” Van said, turning to the maître-d. “Two for Leeds.”

  “Yes Mr. Leeds. Your party is already here.”

  Van didn’t notice as the dinner patrons watched him enter, but Lilly did. There was a part of her that didn’t like the attention he drew. But there was another part of her, the girly part, that was turned on that he had chosen to be with her.