The House by the River

by Lena Manta

  “The fact that I’m here with you must tell you,” Polyxeni answered calmly. “But it’s too early for anything else.”

  Leonidas kissed her again and this time his kiss was full of passion, intensity—and hopelessness.

  “I love you,” he told her again. “I can’t live without you. Every moment away from you is hell!”

  The next day, when Polyxeni played the scene in which she had to kiss her leading man, her director was delighted.

  “That’s it, Xenia!” he shouted as soon as they finished the shoot. “You were just how I wanted you. In love and abandoned. That kiss will be a sensation!”

  Polyxeni accepted his congratulations without any shame and in her mind a single word went round and round: abandoned. So that was the secret. A woman in love gives herself up.

  She went back to the hotel when it was nearly lunchtime and found Martha and Stathis waiting for her.

  “Finally,” said Martha, smiling. “It’s been days since I’ve seen you. What have you been up to?”

  “I have the shoot, and then there’s the play . . .” Polyxeni began.

  “Yes, but after each performance, you disappear, and that’s not usual for you,” Stathis added cheerfully. “What should we suspect, Miss Olympiou? Is there someone in your life?”

  Polyxeni looked at them without any expression. “Although I don’t think it concerns you . . . yes. There’s someone.”

  “Sneaky girl! And you were hiding it from us,” Martha teased, ignoring her frozen expression. She was used to that from Xenia.

  “It’s only been a few days.”

  “And who’s the lucky man?” Stathis asked.

  But there was something in his expression that Polyxeni didn’t like. “What’s going on, Stathis? Are you cross-examining me?”

  Stathis became serious and approached her. “Xenia, you know very well that we don’t get mixed up in your personal life unless there’s a reason. But I’ve heard some rumors that I don’t like at all.”

  “Why? I haven’t done anything bad, and the person I’ve been going out with isn’t some bum,” Polyxeni objected.

  “Who is it, Xenia?” Martha asked.

  “Is he by any chance Leonidas Argyriou?” Stathis gave her a piercing look.

  “How do you know him?”

  Stathis slapped his forehead in despair. “It’s him! And I’d hoped that the gossip was just nonsense.”

  “But what’s wrong with Leonidas?” Polyxeni demanded.

  “Do you love him?” Stathis continued, and when Polyxeni didn’t answer, he grabbed her by the arm and shook her. “Xenia, don’t even think about telling me that it’s not my business, because by God I’ll beat you! Tell me: do you love him?”

  “No, certainly not! It’s just that he likes me and he can give me what I want.”

  “Are you after his money?” Martha asked in surprise.

  “For the moment, I need something else,” Polyxeni answered as she pulled herself away from Stathis’s grasp. She looked at the two of them defiantly. “Leonidas can provide me with the experience I need to play my parts better. How can I act the part of a woman in love when I don’t even know what a man is?”

  Silence followed her declaration.

  Stathis seemed stunned. “What did you say?” he murmured in a voice that could hardly be heard.

  “I think I made myself clear. After that review, when they wrote that I’m not believable when I play a woman in love, I thought that I needed a man to . . . learn.”

  “Good Lord! Are you using the man as a guinea pig?” Stathis shouted.

  “I wouldn’t put it like that. Probably ‘teacher’ would be more correct. I have to say he’s too soft for me, but he’s young and handsome. What’s the crime?”

  “It’s a crime to use any man like that, but especially so in this case. Do you know who you’re making a fool of?”

  “Leonidas. And I’m not making a fool of him. I’m simply learning. Now, if he’s in love with me . . .”

  “Is he?” asked Martha.

  “He couldn’t be more so,” boasted Polyxeni. “He says he can’t live without me.”

  “That does it!” Stathis exclaimed.

  “Why?”

  “Because he means it, you stupid girl. Leonidas Argyriou is a very sensitive boy, and he has shown that he is capable of dying because of a woman. He’s tried twice. His parents only helped him escape death by the skin of his teeth.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. The first time he was in love with a fellow student, and when she left him he tried to commit suicide by taking pills. Last year he was madly in love with another girl who also left him for someone else and the young fellow slit his wrists.”

  “That’s too much. I mean, he’s too much. I’ve gotten myself involved with a crazy person!”

  “You’ve gotten involved with a very sensitive person. And he’s fallen madly in love with you, while you’re using him for one reason: to find out what love is. Do you really think you’re going to learn what love feels like from this? Basically, the only thing you’ll learn is how far this man will go when he’s tragically in love with you.”

  “It’ll still do me good,” Polyxeni declared coolly.

  Stathis looked at her in horror. “Do you understand what you’re saying? When you take your precious experiences from Leonidas and leave him, he is capable of dying. Do you understand the scandal that would erupt? Do you understand that it’ll be your fault?”

  “You’re exaggerating, poor Stathis. Just because he’s already made two attempts doesn’t mean that he’ll make a third for my sake. And basically, at this point, what happens, happens. Whether I leave him now or later, the same thing will happen in the end.”

  Martha approached Polyxeni with a sad face. “You have no right to play with people like this, Xenia,” she said. “This is life; this is reality. The leading man won’t stand up alive again when the director calls ‘cut.’ Do you understand that? Find some nice way so you won’t hurt him, and leave him in peace.”

  But Polyxeni was defiant. “Don’t talk like that! Leonidas is young, handsome, and rich. I may not even have to leave him. Maybe I’ll marry him! And now, could you please leave my space, because I want to sleep a little before tonight’s performance!”

  She opened the door herself and the couple left without a word. As if nothing at all had happened, Polyxeni took a bath, then lay down, completely calm.

  In the next room, though, Stathis was walking irritably up and down the room.

  “You won’t find a solution pacing back and forth,” Martha said quietly.

  “But do you understand what might happen? Our Miss Xenia will enjoy him as long as she needs him and then, when he’s given himself completely up to her, she’ll throw him away. What do you think a young man as sensitive and in love as Leonidas Argyriou will do? Martha, maybe it’s time for us to leave. Marry me and we’ll live in my house, far away from the theater and from this girl!”

  “What are you saying? We’re only just beginning to make some money from the work she’s been getting.”

  Stathis walked over to her and grasped her by the arms. “Is that what you think? That I did what I did to make money? I helped her so you would get her out of your head. I did it so you would say yes to marrying me.” He began pacing again. “Your Xenia has found her way. And if she’s not a star already, with the mind she has, she very soon will be. She has no ethical inhibitions, no boundaries, and the only thing that interests her is herself. Don’t worry about her succeeding. Let’s just leave! Please.”

  “All right.”

  The answer came so fast, so quietly, that it surprised him. He turned as if he couldn’t believe his ears. “What did you say?” he asked in a trembling voice.

  “I said yes . . . that I’ll marry you.”

  When Stathis started crying, Martha was taken aback. She hadn’t expected such a response. They embraced and he began to say “I love you” without stopp
ing, like a needle stuck on a record. His lips covered hers, and a little while later, their bodies joined together in a union filled not only with passion, but with a new kind of love and tenderness.

  “What made you say yes so easily?” he asked afterward.

  “I’m tired, Stathis.”

  “Is that why you’re marrying me? You’re tired?”

  “You didn’t understand me. I’m tired of listening to my logic and not my heart. I love you. I want to live with you and grow old with you. How long am I going to let the past forbid a future for me? However many men were close to me, they never saw the person in me. They saw the body and that’s what they claimed. But you were different. I saw it from the first moment and I’m ashamed that I didn’t want to accept it.”

  “I think I must be dreaming! When do you want the wedding to be?”

  “As soon as possible. First, however, I’m going to have a conversation with Xenia.”

  The discussion didn’t take place until four days later. Polyxeni was busy with the theater, the film shooting, and naturally, Leonidas, who, drunk with love, took her in his arms every evening when they said good-bye but was incapable of asking whether he could come up to her room. That morning Polyxeni had a shoot and was enjoying her coffee beforehand and watching the heavy rainfall from the window of her room. She was in a good mood, as she’d seen the first photograph of herself in a magazine. A photographer had caught her with Leonidas at the restaurant where they had eaten a few nights before. Now her smiling face was featured along with the caption:

  The beautiful, up-and-coming actress Xenia Olympiou in a romantic rendezvous with lawyer Leonidas Argyriou.

  At last! She had begun to be someone.

  When Martha arrived, Polyxeni was delighted, as she wanted to share her pride in the photograph with someone. But when she showed it to her, Martha just sadly shook her head.

  “But aren’t you pleased for me? Finally the magazines are starting to take notice of me. In a little while I’ll be famous! The director told me that in the next film, I’ll have the second leading role. Do you understand what that means? I’ll begin to make money! I’m even thinking about renting a house and leaving the hotel. It’ll be the first time I’ve lived in a house since I left the village. Aren’t you pleased for me, Martha? You helped me to get here.”

  “With a view toward my own profit,” Martha answered.

  “Oh, stop that! You didn’t even take a third from me. That’s nothing compared to what you spent when we first came to Athens. Besides, I know you didn’t just do this for the money. I do understand that not everything is about money.”

  “Yes, you’re right. Even though you . . .”

  “I’m not ungrateful, Martha. I know what I owe to you and Stathis.”

  “Xenia, I came to tell you that I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving? Where are you going?”

  “For some time now, Stathis has been asking me to marry him. I’ve accepted.”

  “Oh! You scared me for a moment there! Of course you should go and marry Stathis. You’re doing just the right thing. Stathis is rich; you won’t have to get by without anything ever again.”

  “A little while ago you told me that not everything is about money.”

  “Yes, but marriage is. Why would you want to marry someone if he couldn’t offer you a good life?”

  “Are we going to overlook the fact that some people might marry for love?”

  “Completely. A man who’s poor and can only offer you misery—how long could you bear to love him?”

  “Certainly . . . that’s an opinion. What I want you to know is that from now on you are on your own. Stathis and I won’t interfere with your career. Now that the road is open, you can go wherever you wish.”

  “But we have an agreement. I still owe you a lot of money.”

  “At the risk of being tiresome, I’ll remind you that you said it yourself: not everything is about money. I hope you learn just how true that is, and soon.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Xenia, I don’t understand what goes on in your head and I never really did. You only seem to focus on the superficial, and that won’t do you any good in life. I’m not just talking about Leonidas, even though you haven’t taken Stathis’s advice on that topic at all seriously. You allow yourself to be seduced by things that don’t matter in the end. Instead, try to strive for something beyond the superficial. Don’t let life flow like a river beside you without diving in.”

  “The river . . .” Polyxeni whispered, as if she was talking to herself.

  “What did you say?”

  “Beside my house there’s a river. Our mother always told us to be careful because life is like that river and can carry us away.”

  “Your mother was right. You left—you did something that no young girl would have dared to undertake. You cut all ties, but now you have to sit and think. You’re chasing a chimera. Trust me, I know. I made the same mistake years ago.”

  “So what are you saying? To go home? To go back to my village?”

  “I’m asking you to keep your village—and all that it taught you—with you. Happiness isn’t found in fame or in money.”

  “And yet, they’re the only things I want,” Polyxeni answered almost solemnly.

  “Then I hope that you’re ready to pay the price.”

  Martha stood up and Polyxeni followed.

  “It feels strange that you’re leaving me,” the younger woman said.

  “My house is always open to you. Come and see us, even though I’m sure we’ll find out all your news from the magazines.”

  Polyxeni smiled and for the first time, Martha dared to hug her. Then she left, very moved.

  The feeling of freedom was new to Polyxeni. She looked around as if she was seeing the room she had been living in so long for the first time. Her first job would be to find a small apartment. No more hotels for her!

  That evening Leonidas seemed distracted and Polyxeni was anxious. He looked at her with an inscrutable expression and spoke very little. She asked him many times what was bothering him, the last time outside her hotel just as he was dropping her off for the night.

  Instead of answering her, Leonidas kissed her passionately and as soon as he pulled away he told her, in a trembling voice, “Xenia, I can’t bear it anymore. I want to hold you in my arms, I want to come up to your room tonight. I don’t want to go home alone and dream of you all night long!”

  Polyxeni looked at him thoughtfully. So the hour had come! “Come up,” she said softly.

  Leonidas looked at her as if he didn’t believe his ears, but Polyxeni got out of the car and signaled to him to follow her. As soon as they entered her room he looked around him.

  “Is this where you live?” he asked.

  “Yes. But I’m thinking of finding a small apartment. I’m tired of living in hotels. Would you like something to drink?”

  Leonidas nodded and Polyxeni poured one for him and one for herself. She didn’t feel any embarrassment, any shame, only curiosity about what would follow. She took a small sip of her drink and then, excusing herself, went to change.

  Leonidas couldn’t breathe when he saw the black nightgown she wore when she returned. Through the sheer lace he could see that she was quite naked underneath. He stood for a moment, gazing at her like a statue, then gulped down his drink. He put down his glass, then loosened the tie that was choking him. He approached her and, incapable of holding himself back, enclosed her in his arms.

  Polyxeni abandoned herself to him, determined to set herself free to enjoy the moment. Still the burning kisses of Leonidas and his hands caressing her whole body failed to give her any delight. Much later she wondered what had gone wrong. Leonidas’s lovemaking left her completely indifferent. Not a cell of her body responded. Perhaps for one or two moments she felt pleasant, then nothing more.

  What moved her, though, was not the young man’s love, but the surprise that awaited her five days later. He pic
ked her up from the set and drove her to an elegant apartment with fine furniture and a view of the Acropolis. Polyxeni looked around, confused.

  “What’s this? Whose house is it?” she asked.

  “It’s yours, my love! Didn’t you say you wanted to leave the hotel? I put my agent onto it and he found it. I furnished it and I’m handing it over to you. If you want, we can buy it later.”

  Polyxeni froze for a moment. She couldn’t get it into her head that finally she had her own home. She had escaped from the cold hotel—she was independent. Then she remembered that she should thank Leonidas, so she turned to him. She knew what her payment should be. With slow movements, and without taking her eyes off him, she undressed until she was completely naked. He grabbed her abruptly, picked her up in his arms, and headed for the bedroom. Without having the patience to undress, he fell on her, kissing her all over, and her lukewarm response was enough to make him lose control. Carried away as he was by his love, he didn’t seem to notice that the object of his passion didn’t return his feelings with the same warmth.

  Polyxeni’s new life suited her very well. Her career had finally taken the path she wanted. In the theater she was no longer just another face in the crowd. She now played opposite famous actors. And after so many minor roles, a producer from another company had offered her the second lead in an upcoming play. Full of enthusiasm, she raced to Martha’s house to tell her.

  Martha and Stathis had married and were living happily in a house in Patissia, but Polyxeni didn’t often see them. There were her professional responsibilities, of course, and Leonidas took up all her free time. When she did visit them, they never asked about her relationship, and when they found out about the apartment, they politely wished her well without any further comment. This suited Polyxeni because she wouldn’t have known what to say.

  The truth was that Leonidas had begun to annoy her a lot. His endless love, the worship he offered her without any demands, and most of all his meaningless lovemaking, had all begun to tire her. She had to admit that she had succeeded in mastering the art of playing a woman in love, but that was partly her own achievement. Her ability to detach her mind from her body during sex and coolly observe every detail of the act like a spectator had proved very useful. Sometimes she would even correct her acting partner, which earned her praise from the director, who admired her well-honed observations.