Changing Perspectives

by Jen Silver

  “It would not. You’re still my bosses.”

  “So what is worrying you?”

  “Who says I’m worried?”

  “That.” Eric pointed to the now half-empty glass in her hand.

  “Oh.” Even with the friendship developing between them, Camila hated to show any signs of weakness. She put the glass down on the seat tray. “It’s just that, I don’t know if I can satisfy Dani. She doesn’t really need me. She’s got this Lisa woman she can go back to at any time.”

  Eric shifted in his seat to look at her. “I’ve known Dani a long time. Paying someone for services rendered isn’t the same as being part of a loving relationship.” He patted her arm. “I know you’ve only just taken the first steps, coming out to me and Carl. This is another coming out, a different closet. But you can do it. And, believe me, it is exactly what Dani needs.”

  For the rest of the trip, Eric immersed himself in reading the paper, while Camila lay back with her eyes closed. The conversation with Dani the night before came back to her, and Dani’s words reverberated through her mind: “…the only touch I want now is yours.”

  †

  The waiting was almost over. Dani positioned the cuffs on her bedstead, leaving them open. She had checked and rechecked that everything Camila would need was laid out in the guest room. By the time she heard the taxi draw up outside the house, she was in a state of nervous excitement she hadn’t experienced since the very first time Lisa had caned her.

  Camila didn’t make eye contact as she handed Dani her suitcase and jacket. The stern look she did eventually give her brushed aside the momentary worry that Camila wasn’t going to carry through on the suggestive promise of the night before.

  “Go upstairs and wait for me.”

  Dani needed no further instruction. She raced up the stairs, placing the case and the jacket in the guest room. In the bedroom, she stripped and lay face down on the bed. Camila came in and without saying anything, snapped the cuffs shut around her wrists.

  She heard the shower running and then waited in what felt like the longest ten minutes of her life

  Lying as she was, she couldn’t see Camila in full view when she heard the unmistakable sound of high heels approaching the bed, but was aware that she was wearing the tight black lace bodice and stockings as before. The cane swished through the air, and Dani trembled in anticipation. Camila stroked it lightly across her buttocks, then placed her hand between her legs; Dani was already dripping wet with desire.

  “You want this now, don’t you?” asked Camila in a husky voice.

  Dani nodded vigorously.

  “I can’t hear you.”

  Dani turned her head. “Yes, I want it now.”

  The first stroke landed with precision across her butt and she chewed on the pillow to stop herself from crying out. With the skill of a practiced dominatrix, Camila paced the strokes to have Dani primed to a high level of anxiety waiting for the next blow. After six she stopped.

  Camila reached above her head and released her wrists from the cuffs. Dani heard her moving about and felt something land on the bed beside her. “Put these on and meet me downstairs. Don’t keep me waiting.”

  Dani waited until she heard her going down the stairs. Taking a few deep breaths, relishing the hot, stabbing pain on her backside, she got off the bed and stood slowly. Then she looked to see what Camila wanted her to wear. Another pleasant surprise: a new dildo, somewhat larger than the one she’d used before, a white T-shirt, her leather vest, and a pair of black jeans, a carbon copy of the outfit she had worn to Deborah’s party. It took her some time to adjust the strap-on and pack it in the tightly fitting jeans.

  She negotiated the trip downstairs with difficulty, each step increasing the pressure of the base of the dildo on her clit. Camila was waiting for her in the living room. Her outfit really did look like it had come from Miss Whiplash’s wardrobe, and she carried it off well. Dani couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. This wasn’t the woman she’d had lunch with only a few short weeks ago.

  “Come here and fuck me,” the apparition in lace and silk said.

  Dani went to her and held her close. They kissed deeply, and as if in a trance, Dani found herself in another place entirely as she made love to Camila, the hot sensations rippling across her buttocks matched only with the internal fire. The intensity of their orgasms startled them both, and then they started again.

  †

  From the sounds of the birds outside the window, Dani knew, without looking at the bedside clock, it was the hour just before dawn. Camila’s head was on the pillow next to hers and she was snuffling softly, deeply asleep. Dani couldn’t recall when they’d finally made it back to the bedroom, but she remembered helping Camila out of the bodice, and the image of kissing each plump breast as it was released from confinement flashed through her memory bank.

  Dani stepped quietly out of the room, stopping only to grab her shorts and T-shirt from the floor. As she pulled on her shorts, each of the strokes from the night before made themselves known. She breathed out slowly as a rush of joy surged through her.

  Downstairs, she opened the patio doors and stood watching the red streaks flaming across the horizon. Turning back inside, she went to her drawing board and slid out the picture Deborah had found the week before: the image of Camila in the throes of ecstasy. She couldn’t have imagined that from their first tentative meetings. And now…she opened the pad to a clean page and sucked on the end of a pencil…now she didn’t require any imagination at all as she started a new sketch.

  †

  Camila awoke and stretched lazily as sunlight spread across the bed. A languorous feeling of well-being pervaded every part of her body. Last night, giving pleasure and receiving it, she finally understood the mutuality of their shared experience. When people said, “Life begins at forty”, she didn’t think they meant something like this. Something she hadn’t known she wanted.

  The space next to her was empty and cold. Rising up to look around the room, she saw the evidence of their activities was spread around: discarded clothing—her bodice a tangled heap on top of Dani’s jeans, the tip of the dildo poking out from the midst of the pile.

  Desire swept through her and she gasped at the intensity that gripped her core. “Oh God, Dani! What have you done to me? I need you now!”

  †

  Unaware of the passing of time, Dani was startled by the feel of an arm snaking around her waist.

  “What are you doing? You’re not working, are you?”

  “Good morning to you too.” Dani turned her body so Camila could see the drawing. The full daylight now streaming into the room showed the picture clearly.

  “Do I really look like that?”

  “Yes, better in person, though.” Dani reached around Camila’s shoulders to draw her closer. Their kisses became more insistent. Dani gasped when Camila’s hands moved down and grasped her buttocks.

  “You’re hot here,” she whispered.

  Dani grinned down at her. “I’m hot all over for you.”

  “Good. Because I want you upstairs, in bed, now.”

  “You’re the boss.”

  “Yes, I am. And I don’t intend to let you forget it.”

  Taking her hand, Camila led the way up the stairs to the bedroom. With each step, Dani felt a lightness take over her being. Happiness engulfed her as she followed the woman she loved back to their bed.

  Epilogue

  Six months later

  Christmas Day, 1993

  The aroma of roasting turkey filled the house. Standing back to survey the large fir tree blocking the view of the street in the living room’s window, Dani wondered how this had happened. Hosting a Christmas Day lunch for the disparate group of people she called friends and family. The only person missing was the one she most wanted to spend the day with…Camila.

  Although Eric had explained it to her that the week spent in Brittany over Christmas and New Year with her parents was the on
ly holiday time Camila took, Dani wished it could have been different this year.

  The only positive side to Camila’s departure to France two days ago was the delicious sensation of pain rippling across her backside with every move she made. She could have worn a looser pair of jeans, but she craved the reminder of her lover’s touch.

  Before she could lose herself further in that memory of their last night together, the doorbell rang. She was expecting the visitors, so she had left the door unlocked and she moved into the hallway to greet them.

  Jan marched past carrying a large box. “The vegetables have arrived,” she announced.

  “Oh, Carl and Eric are here, then.”

  “I heard that.” Carl put down the box he was carrying and pulled her into a hug. Eric was following closely behind with another box.

  “What’s all this?” Dani asked when Carl released her.

  “A few more bottles of champagne, red and white wine, plus beer for the plebs.”

  Dani didn’t rise to the insult that she knew was aimed at her and Jan. “You didn’t need to bring anything. I’ve got enough here to stock a small bar. You’ll all have to walk home if you get through that lot.”

  “We came in one car. Debs isn’t drinking.”

  They had reached the kitchen and put their boxes down. Deborah was bringing up the rear and placed two plastic bags on the counter. “What?” She looked around at three grinning faces and a stunned one. “Have I missed a joke?”

  “Looks like the joke’s on me,” Dani said. “When were you going to give me the news?”

  “Now obviously. Although I thought we would be sitting down with a drink first.” She gave Carl a mock angry glare. “Okay, big mouth. Open the champagne.”

  He reached into a box.

  “Not one of those unless you want to spray it around the room. I’m sure Dani has a bottle or two in the fridge.” Debs glanced between Carl and Eric. “Did I pick the wrong one? I thought he had brains.”

  “Only the geeky kind.” Eric opened the fridge and removed a bottle. Jan had already set out five glasses.

  “So when is it due?”

  “July.”

  After they had raised their glasses, four filled with the bubbly drink and one with orange juice, toasting the parents-to-be, Deborah shooed them out of the kitchen so she could make a start on preparing the veg.

  “Nice tree,” Eric commented, taking a seat on the sofa.

  “I’ve never had a tree before. Brian chose it, and my nieces helped with the decoration.”

  “Are they coming today?”

  “No. They’re having their own family Christmas. He’s hoping for a complete reconciliation, and being there for important occasions like birthdays and holidays is a step forward. June seems more open to the idea. But it’s taken her some time to get over the revelations about her boyfriend.”

  “Brian couldn’t get him put away?”

  “Apart from being a two-timing creep, he wasn’t committing a crime. If he’d married June, then they could have got him on bigamy.” Dani stood by the fireplace and picked up a card that had fallen over on the mantelpiece. She looked over at Carl and Jan. “Do you guys think you’re up for this parenting lark?”

  They both beamed back at her. “Of course. And you’ll be a super godparent.” Carl sat next to Eric, knees touching.

  Jan walked over to the record collection and started sifting through albums. “When are you going to start buying CDs? Some of these are scratched to hell.”

  “Yeah, Dani. Time you caught up with technology. Compact discs are the future. You don’t even have a TV.”

  Dani gave Carl a withering look. “This is my house and I don’t need to clutter it up with your newfangled gadgets.”

  “Televisions are hardly new.”

  Before they could continue bickering, Jan found the record she wanted and put it on the turntable. It was one of Dani’s newer albums. She left them listening to k.d. lang’s mellow voice and went into the kitchen to see how Deborah was getting on. She was sitting at the table peeling sprouts.

  “You know no one will eat those. Why don’t we just have peas?”

  “It’s not a Christmas dinner without brussels sprouts.” Debs carried on calmly, deftly removing the outer leaves before cutting a cross in the base of each tiny cabbage-looking vegetable.

  Dani bent down to look in the oven. “Does it need basting again? I put it in at eight like you said.”

  “In a bit. I’ll add the bacon strips on top then.”

  “Talking of turkey basting, when did you actually find out you’re pregnant?”

  “Two weeks ago. But I didn’t tell the others until today.”

  When Debs told her she wanted to have a child before her fortieth birthday, Dani hadn’t reacted too favourably.

  “What do you want kids for? Get a dog if you want unconditional love,” she’d said.

  “That’s what Chris said when I first mentioned it a few years ago. I’m glad I waited. Jan’s thrilled with the idea. You’ll be a godparent, won’t you?”

  Dani had laughed at the idea and asked her what the opposite was, a demonparent, perhaps? She had jokingly suggested Eric or Carl as possible sperm donors, thinking they would never agree. How wrong she had been. This arrangement fulfilled their desire to have a child without having to suffer rejection from adoption agencies. After they met Deborah and found out they lived in the same neighbourhood, the three of them immediately started making plans for shared childcare and setting up an education trust fund.

  Deborah was an attractive woman but now, only two months into her pregnancy, she was positively glowing. “I’m glad it’s worked out with you and Jan. Although I honestly wasn’t matchmaking when I sent her to you. I just thought you might need a bodyguard for a while.”

  “She guards my body very well, thank you.” Debs finished with the last sprout and grinned up at her. “Chris did come to my workplace once. She was waiting outside when I left for the day. Jan turned up on her bike before things could get nasty, though. That was the last I saw of her.”

  “She tried that with Camila, confronting her at the Redmond building. Waste of time. From what Camila told me, I almost felt sorry for Chris.”

  “Well, I don’t. And you don’t need to feel guilty for what happened either. I should have kicked her out long before. Now, go and do something useful. See if the others need refills.”

  Dani took the hint and grabbed the open bottle that had been left on the table. When she returned to the living room, Eric had disappeared and Jan was patiently explaining the offside rule to Carl. She had never known him to show an interest in football, but he didn’t even look up when she topped up their glasses.

  She wandered into the hall, feeling like a guest in her own home. Eric was putting the receiver back in its cradle and looked up guiltily.

  “I didn’t hear the phone ring.”

  “No. I just needed to make a quick call. Business doesn’t stop for Christmas. There’s a loo here, isn’t there?”

  Dani pointed to the door next to the coat rack. After Eric had gone in, she returned to the living room. She located her champagne glass where she’d left it on the mantelpiece and took a quick slug. Two framed colour prints now adorned the mantel—one of Brian with Lucy and Holly, and a photo of herself with Camila taken on a weekend away in Devon. They both looked windblown and happy by the seaside. Glancing around the room, decorated for Christmas with her friends, she thought it was looking more like a home, rather than an extension of her studio at work. She just hoped filling the house with food and drink and laughter on this day would keep her from thinking too much about what it would be like to share it with Camila.

  “What’s not to like about football?” Jan was saying. “I thought you would be all over it. Fit young men running about in shorts.”

  Carl shrugged. “Nah. Doesn’t do anything for me. Now American football, that’s another matter.”

  “Oh, come on. That’s not a pr
oper game. They’re all padded up and hardly move three feet before play’s stopped.”

  “Yeah, but those tight-fitting uniforms, when they bend over….”

  “I bet you like baseball too.”

  “I’ve never really got into that. Cricket’s okay, though.”

  “Ugh…like watching paint dry. Right, Dani?”

  “Don’t drag me into this. I’ll leave you two jocks to it.”

  Dani walked out and crossed the hall to the dining room. She’d set the table for five earlier but she hadn’t put the Christmas crackers out. Eric was doing just that when she went in.

  “Thanks. I was going to see to those.”

  “No problem. All done.”

  Dani narrowed her eyes. “Why are there now eight place settings?”

  “Oh, well that’s what Debs told me to set up for.” Eric straightened the last cracker on the placemat at the far end of the table.

  “Is there something you’re not telling me? Who are the mystery guests? Penny and Astrid are off skiing somewhere in the Alps, Niki and her partner are with her parents. I asked Gordon as he’s on his own now, but he’s gone to Barcelona with his guitar in search of his lost youth. I would have invited Lisa, but Carl told me that was a bad idea. So, come on, give.”

  He opened his mouth and closed it again. The doorbell rang and he blew out a relieved breath. “You better answer that.”

  Dani gave him her best I’ll-kill-you-later glare and stalked out of the room. She yanked open the front door and nearly fell backwards into the hall. Camila was standing there with the two people Dani would least have expected to see on her doorstep, Mr and Mrs Callaghan.

  “Merry Christmas, sweetheart. May we come in?”

  “Yes…I….” Dani was saved from saying anything more as Eric appeared and greeted Camila’s parents effusively.