‘On our way up these stairs you can tell me how on earth you hurt your leg, Bella, and what on earth you were running away from in the first place,’ she stated. Instinctively I glanced down as the three of us stopped on the landing and Frankie bent over the best she could, to move my dressing gown out of the way of my throbbing monstrosity of a shin.
‘I’m fine… really! I just scraped it running up the balcony stairs.’
They casually glanced at each other with a knowing look. ‘Mmm hmm… pull the other one it’s got bells on,’ said Aunty Jean. ‘I suppose it’s got something to do with the fact Alex had to stop on the driveway and pick up what he said was “Nathan’s bag” …? Funny how you were running in one direction and he seemed to be speeding off in another?’
I looked at Frankie and offered her my “how the fuck did she know?” look. She in turn shook her head slightly and shrugged her shoulders.
‘So what we really need, my girls, is a bedroom where we can’t be disturbed and a big pot of tea, they do have big pots of tea here don’t they, my love?’ The question was directed at Frankie.
‘They do now, aunty… since I moved in. I’ll get one sorted out for us,’ Frankie replied and moved away and back down the stairs.
‘We’ll be in Bella’s room, my love… lead the way, my dear… I don’t have ESP,’ she smiled sweetly at me.
Really, I thought, you could have bloody fooled me.
Thankfully, after our chat I did feel better. I told them what had happened and we discussed the change in Nathan, they helped to alleviate some of the guilt I felt. We then managed to get on with discussing Frankie’s wedding. Everything, it seemed, was in hand. The blue forget-me-not flowers were her one real splurge, as they had been imported from England. Alex had been insistent that as she didn’t really want much, she would at least have everything she really wanted, and those flowers were a must for her bouquet, which was being made at the moment and then would be held in a chiller ready for their wedding. It was all coming together nicely and I was so happy for them.
Alex had decided on a barbecue that evening and had large rib-eye steaks cooking as well as huge prawns and some fresh locally caught fish. The wonderful smells were making my stomach moan. We were all sitting out on the patio, watching as the sun started to make its descent in the beautiful clear skies. I was wearing a long flowing, baby pink maxi dress, to cover up my shin, and had put my hair up in a messy twist. With a little make-up on, I felt ready to face the world again. The warm flowing chatter between them all was making me relax. The wedding party was only missing three people and Frankie's next door neighbours were due to fly in tomorrow, so that just left the return of Nathan. My heart pounded at the very thought and as luck would have it, I heard the now familiar throaty roar coming closer to the house. I was holding a glass of mineral water in my hands and instead of looking up, as I knew eyes would be falling upon me even if only in fleeting glances, I pretended to study a bead of condensation rolling quickly down my glass and dripping onto my lap.
Frankie grabbed my knee and gave it a squeeze in solidarity. In my peripheral view I saw Scott leave Ruby’s side and go out to greet his brother. The conversation that had stalled for a few short moments resumed and everybody carried on like normal, even me, on the outside at least. Inside I was a quivering wreck.
BELLA
'Hey, how are we all?’ I heard his voice travel across the pool towards where I sat with Frankie on a settee. I watched as Scott and Nathan entered the patio area, Nathan had his arm slung casually around Scott’s shoulders.
Frankie stood and moved over to greet him, embracing him to her.
‘Nathan, it’s great to see you… I was a little worried about you when we found your bag dumped on the driveway. I thought one of Alex’s best men had decided not to come after all.’ I heard the nervousness in Frankie’s voice as she tried to make light of the fact he had arrived earlier and then suddenly left without explanation.
Bravely I lifted my head to take in the conversation. Everyone except for me, was slowly either standing to greet him or gravitating their way unconsciously towards him to welcome him to our small group. I knew I had to make a move too, otherwise it would become plainly obvious that I was trying to avoid him. Mind you, everyone here must have heard by now about our brief but fraught encounter earlier, Frankie would have told Alex, Scott would have shared with Ruby and so on. However, before I stood up I just had to allow myself to take in all that was Nathan Blackmore.
I watched as he was introduced to Frankie’s uncle, offering one of his wonderful cheeky, lopsided smiles as they discussed his winning bike season, a smile that pulled out the dimples in both cheeks, and a loud conspirator’s laugh as he shook hands with him. He walked around to the women, pulled them to him in a friendly hug and gave them all a kiss on the cheek.
That walk?
It did something to my insides, he always walked with an over exuberant, very cocky swagger. To the unknowing eye, you would never have realised he’d been injured, but to me it added a certain something to the strut that spoke volumes to my libido. He was wearing clean black jeans and a V-necked, grey T-shirt that showed more of his tattooed, muscular torso, than quite frankly I needed to see. Just the very front of the loose T-shirt was tucked into his belted jeans and his biker boots were still on his feet, clumping heavily as he stepped around people. The longer section of hair on the top of his head was still damp and swept back almost neatly. I could smell his spicy sandalwood body wash from here.
Where the hell had he been for a change of clothes? He probably had a “hot woman” around here too, I thought with a jealous flash that ran through the whole length of me, from my toes to the roots of my hair.
I had to concentrate hard on controlling the rising panic that was welling up inside me, as I realised that the man I loved so vehemently was now striding casually to where I sat. I had been left alone and suddenly felt very vulnerable. I stood with as much confidence as I could muster, but inside I was quaking. However, I needn’t have worried… or maybe that was wrong? Maybe I should have worried? The Nathan that had stepped up and into my personal space, as was his habit, had now opened up his arms and pulled me to him tightly. He seemed to have had a complete personality change from the Nathan I had come face to face with earlier.
What the fuck?
‘Darlin… I’ve missed you,’ he spoke so all could hear him, then reluctantly I was moved slightly away from his strong hard body way before I wanted to be. Away from the place I knew I was meant to be, almost destined to be. His soul called to mine, like no one else’s ever had before. I fought hard to keep my emotions under control. Both of Nathan’s hands came up to cup my face and he stared into my eyes. I realised that he had very competently and deliberately manoeuvred us and turned his back to everyone. No one would be able to see me now, not the way that he held me.
‘OK, Bella… I’m sure we can play nice for a few goddamn days, you try to stay the fuck away from me and I might just let ya,’ he whispered.
I met his eyes now and saw the bleakness inside them and I knew the hurt I found in there would haunt me until my dying day. The words he spoke said one thing, but his thumbs moving briefly in symmetry across my cheekbones, as he slightly dipped his knees to look at me so evidently, spoke more than he would ever know. Or was that just wishful thinking on my part?
‘I warn you though… every time you come within my reach… well let’s say… you’ll wish you fucking hadn’t.’ With that his hands dropped from my face, they caressed my bare shoulders and down the top of my sun-kissed arms, until finally he picked up both of my hands in his. My skin was on fire and every hair stood on end, so you could almost trace exactly the path his hands had taken. Nathan lifted my hands to his mouth and after placing the pads of my thumbs into his mouth, he bit down hard.
The sharp unexpected pain caused me to gasp and I instinctively tried with no effect to yank my hands away from his, but he held on tight to complete the
second part of his torture. The pads of my thumbs were sucked into the warmth of his mouth and his probing tongue circled them like an awaiting shark.
My body ignited, the pain caused by his act of ownership changing so fast to pleasurable heat, it had my knees shaking and my knickers sodden with my need for him. My naked engorged nipples rubbed unexpectedly against the rough cotton of my sundress. Then as quickly as the onslaught had begun it was over, with an unexpected growl from the back of his throat, as he looked down and observed my responsive body, my hands were dropped and he strode away. My knees gave way and I sat with an unladylike thump back onto the settee.
What the bloody hell was he playing at?
All I could focus on was his muscular back as he walked away from me and continued chatting with the gathered family and friends as if nothing had happened, like I didn’t even exist.
While I struggled to get myself under control, I picked up my now warm glass of water and sipped at it, ignoring what had just passed between us and plastered a happy smile on my face… I didn’t know what the bloody hell he was playing at, but Frankie would never know what was going on, I was not going to ruin her wedding day and I wasn’t going to allow Nathan to, either.
The day that we had all come to celebrate arrived, it was bright and warm and quite frankly perfect. I was so pleased for my bestie. The house was now buzzing, with the deliveries of flowers and food.
After my regular morning swim, I found myself lying in my normal spot on the beach listening to music. It was early and apart from Crystal, the lovely housekeeper, I had seen no one so far.
Since our two very different encounters two days ago, I had gone out of my way to avoid Nathan. Avoidance that was nearly impossible since the arrival of Frankie’s neighbours yesterday. Norah and Bill, along with Aunty Jean and Uncle Robert, were now in the guest rooms in the centre of the house, and as Nathan, apparently a light sleeper, couldn’t stay in Scott’s wing due to baby Eloise keeping him up half the night, he had moved into Frankie and Alex’s wing.
I was certain it was part of his control and equally my punishment.
I had seen him only briefly for the evening meal yesterday. His mask was firmly in place as he kept everyone enraptured with his racing stories. I had smiled when required and even laughed in places, but inside I felt like I had been hollowed out with a blunt spoon, such was the pain of being here in the same room as him, but not being with him.
The sun had evidently moved behind a cloud as my body was now in the shade, it was a welcome respite from the warmth already radiating from the morning sun.
But spots of rain were definitely not on the day’s weather forecast.
I flinched slightly as cold water dripped onto my legs… but only my legs.
Oh shit.
I instinctively sat up and opening my eyes, I took in the man, now stood by my feet. I glanced no further up than the now quite subtle scar from ankle to knee on, of course, Nathan’s previously injured right leg.
Oh bugger. I pulled my earpieces away.
I wasn’t a quiet, timid person and never had been, I had simply been keeping out of his way, in order not to cause a scene at Frankie’s wedding and well, yeah because it hurt like hell to see what I couldn’t have.
‘Nathan?’ I gathered my receding confidence and followed his body, bare apart from red board shorts and leather wrists cuffs, up to his face. I wanted to take in everything new about his torso. I wanted to trace my fingers along every new tattoo on his body, but I had to remind myself, he was no longer mine to touch.
He had obviously been out surfing or at the very least body boarding, as he stood towering over me holding his upright surfboard.
Ah yes, I had forgotten he was the ultimate adrenalin junkie, he seemed to need adrenalin even more than he needed food. Although I still remembered when I was the fix he needed more than anything.
‘How does it feel, Bella? … how does it feel, to have the very fucking light taken out of your life, the warmth removed from your skin?’ My eyes filled with spontaneous tears at his callous, but very poignant words.
‘I’m back, Nate… you said I could come back.’ My words came out quickly and my voice started to rise with my almost plea and with the sudden constriction I felt in my throat, tightening with my rising emotions. I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, almost as if he was fighting the same feelings.
‘Back with the truth?’ he questioned, and my eyes immediately left his, in my guilt.
Slowly he pulled his board out of the sand and my eyes took in the sight as his muscles rippled with the exertion. Once it was out, he placed it flat on the ground next to my towel. Slowly he got down on all fours and crawled up the length of my body, very slowly I was being forced to lay back down flat, weak under his penetrative gaze. Drips of water touched various parts of my skin and I was surprised to see no steam rising as they hit. My heart was going berserk and my breathing was starting to increase like I was out jogging. Eventually he was laid out fully over the top of me, he looked like he was about to start doing press-ups, his wet hair falling into my face was the only part of him that touched me and I knew it was bloody deliberate.
‘Too fucking late, Bella… too fucking late… if you take a good look at me, you’ll see the real me… is no longer fucking here to come back to.’ His minty breath warmed the area around my mouth, as I watched him twist his head and start the process of gently lowering his lips towards mine. His eyes focussed only on my partially open lips. Time almost stood still as he came closer and closer. I struggled to swallow my building emotions, when abruptly he sprang back up onto the balls of his feet, simply by using his upper body strength. He picked up his board and started to walk away.
‘WELL FUCK YOU, NATHAN…FUCK YOU!’ I shouted at his retreating figure. I brought my hands up to cover my face in anguish and tried to control the tears that were bound to follow.
‘That can be arranged, Bella… that can be fucking arranged,’ he shot back, without even turning back to me.
I threw myself onto the ground and cried, I cried for everything we had been to each other and everything we seemed to have lost. At least the one question that had gone around and around in my head had been answered. It seemed the man I would always love, no longer loved me.
Life was so bloody unfair.
I made a promise to myself, I wouldn’t let him make me cry again, I deserved a lot of things, but that wasn’t one of them.
It had taken me ages to sort myself out. I couldn’t return to the house with a face that was blotchy and eyes so red rimmed, it would be obvious to everyone exactly what I had been doing. Eventually I had made it back with hardly any time to spare. I had showered, shaved and had my hair done in an almost record time. I had but five minutes left until I needed to be back in Frankie and Alex’s room to help the bride-to-be add her finishing touches.
Never before had I been so pleased about the colour choice of a room, the guest room I was in was in beautiful pale shades of blue and it gave the room a calm and cool ambience, and I needed calm and cool. Frankie’s impending nuptials had at least taken her attention away from me and for that I was extremely grateful, normally she would have seen straight through me, but luckily her eyes were on the prize and it had preoccupied her.
‘Bugger!’ I exclaimed out loud, as once again I dropped the stunning antique pearl necklace I was supposed to be wearing as part of my bridesmaid garb. Alex had presented it to me yesterday as his gift to the bridesmaid and I was in love with it already. The pearls were large but not ostentatious, and they had a pretty almost golden creamy quality to them, but the clasp was frustrating me. Either that or I was all fingers and thumbs after my last encounter with Nathan. The pit of my stomach was still somersaulting at his words and actions towards me.
Was it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?
I was beginning to think that it most definitely was. I know he was hurt, but did he have to be so extremely
cruel and hateful towards me? I was starting to hate him, the way he was treating me was brutal, but somewhere deep down inside I knew that I still preferred his torture of me to being ignored by him.
What did that make me? Some kind of masochist? It beggared belief.
I was fumbling around on the floor next to my large bed, on my hands and knees, trying to find the necklace, as it had bounced off somewhere out of my view.
‘Mmmm… my favourite position for submission.’ The deep voice of my willing tormentor filled my normally quiet and calm space. I sat up quickly and stared at the physical specimen filling nearly the entirety of the oak doorframe. I had never seen a smart Nathan before and he was quite simply stunning. Navy blue tailored trousers and a white button-down collared shirt, which was untucked and only buttoned in the middle, revealing his abs at the base and his tattoos at the top and the sleeves were rolled up, showing his heavily tattooed forearms. His hair was still wet, from the shower I presumed, and for the first time that I’d ever seen, his hair was smart and not sporting the just-fucked look he normally wore so well. My eyes ran the entire length of him and I took in his turned up trousers and bare feet. Typical Nathan, he was smart for the wedding but had added little twists to his outfit that just of screamed of his attitude and non-compliance.
Recovering slightly from the feelings he churned up inside me, I managed to retort, ‘I believe my door was closed, I didn’t hear you knock… what the hell do you want?’ Standing up now and clasping my necklace tightly in my fisted hand, I stared at the man now invading my privacy with his mere presence. He moved and prowled towards me, eating up the space between us. Once he had entered my personal space, I heard him inhale deeply.
Inevitable Page 4