Inevitable

by Roberts, A. S.

  Nate, on the other hand, thought that my mixed up emotions were “fucking brilliant,” as the moment he had ended several of his practise runs earlier in the week, I had practically jumped into his arms and begged him to take me somewhere nearby where he could help to relieve the buzz and angst. I imagined he thought it was a dream come true. He had obliged willingly, often carrying me off to the nearest place that had a door.

  The crowd was vast and the noise was often deafening in their excitement to see their heroes race. The smell in the air was of freshly cut grass, cooked onions, burnt rubber and diesel. It all added to the atmosphere. I was trying my best to block it all out, as I tried hard to keep Nate in focus at all times, thinking I could wish him safe, if I just kept my eyes on him.

  Luckily, his black and green bike along with his white leathers and a large number seven helped me. I was gripping Frankie’s hand with a death like grip as I watched him take his place as second on the grid. Second, as it so happened, to his team mate Liam. He had told me that there were no team orders and he had his hopes on winning the first race of the weekend.

  I watched the lights come on and go off. They were away, the thundering noise hitting my insides and vibrating like a bass drum.

  ‘You need to stop squeezing me so tight, Bella,’ I heard Frankie say, as she tried to remove her hand from mine with a laugh. ‘Be warned I am so getting my own back in a couple of months’ time.’ I released her hand and apologised, still not removing my eyes from him as he hurtled around at a breakneck speed.

  That’s why they called it breakneck wasn’t it? It was so bloody dangerous.

  I was counting every turn he made and every single lap. My heart was pounding with excitement and terror. I could hear the crowds as they shouted and cheered and finally when there were only six laps left he made his move and undercut Liam on the eleventh corner. Scott, Alex and the rest of the guys were shouting and cheering louder. I was frozen, however, in a long lasting few minutes of absolute bloody terror as I watched the back end of his bike slide slightly causing the whole bike to twitch. My hand had flown to my mouth, just willing him to regain control. He did and I breathed again.

  Lap after lap I clocked off as Nathan held onto his lead, the crowd were now on their feet cheering. I couldn’t talk, all I could do was to watch, carefully. I couldn’t lose visual contact with him, I was afraid to jinx the moment. This had all been so much easier watching him at home on my TV.

  I saw Brock out of the corner of my eye, as he hung the board over the wall to let Nate know it was the final lap.

  I kept him in my sight at all times and I counted down the eleven corners of the last lap. The very moment I saw him cross the finish line with the checkered flags waving, I collapsed back into my seat.

  I was thoroughly exhausted. God knows how he felt?

  We were being moved, as we had been called into the winner’s area. I could see everyone around me as they chatted excitedly. I however had no time for that and my feet flew to get closer to Nate, I needed to touch him and hold him close and only then would I be able to relax.

  NATHAN

  The checkered flag waved me through and I punched my fist into the air.

  That was fucking amazing. It wasn’t often everything went exactly to fucking plan. I had almost lost the goddamn bike just after taking Liam on the corner, the flashbacks entered my mind of the last time that had happened and the accident that had followed. My leg had twinged with the memory. You have to let them go quickly and get on with the job, flashbacks like that and the subsequent loss of concentration can cost you your life.

  I had too much to fucking lose now, I cared now.

  The adrenalin that had run through my system made me feel like I could conquer fucking anything.

  I had plans to as well.

  As I started to slow the bike down, I managed to take an American flag from one of my mechanics. I began a slow circuit and looked for Bella as I went, waving my flag high.

  I saw her as soon as she entered the winner’s enclosure, and I slowed the bike down to take her into my arms. I knew it wasn’t allowed, but fuck that shit. I’d deal with the consequences later.

  I had scooped her up and sat her side-saddle in front of me with one of my arms around her, holding her close to me, she clasped hold of the flag and together we rode the final few feet at a snail’s pace.

  My world was right.

  She was in my arms.

  We reached the winners stop and I turned the bike off.

  ‘I told ya my favourite piece of dominant equipment was my bike,’ I said to her just after I had removed my lid. She laughed at the statement I had just made, it brought back one of our better memories.

  ‘You sure did, sex God.’ She had spoken to me but her eyes were staring at my lips.

  She brought her mouth crashing to mine, so violently our teeth had clashed together. I returned the kiss with as much fucking passion, I wanted the world to fall away so we could fucking consume each other. But I knew there were gonna be interviews and other shit to deal with. I could already see the camera flashes going off around us.

  I felt the stress rolling off her in fucking waves and holding her tightly in my arms I could feel how hard her heart was beating. We’d been through a hell of a lot together.

  It was over.

  Then I saw him coming towards us, what Petre had in his goddamn, grimy little hand was no fucking camera. I moved us both suddenly and we rolled off the bike to the floor. I cradled her tightly to me.

  I heard the shot and the words he shouted.

  The pain in my head was fucking acute.

  The side of my leathers felt wet and warm.

  I could hear her screaming.

  The world around us disappeared into the heat haze.

  All I could see was Bella. I willed my fingers to hold onto her tightly.

  I watched the tears roll down her face.

  She bent her face close to mine.

  ‘Don’t cry because it’s over, darlin… smile because we happened,’ I rasped.

  Her beautiful face was disappearing.

  My world closed in and finally went black.

  BELLA

  I was in so much pain. Nathan had thrown us both from his bike and I had heard the shot as we fell and the screams and shouts that followed.

  The blood-curdling shout that followed was in the Antonescus’ native language and I had heard it before, I understood that it translated to “Blood is thicker than water.” In that moment I knew what had happened. I knew who had fired the shot.

  I was laid out on top of Nathan, his hair was still wet and sweaty from the race, but it was the other wetness that was bothering me. I felt it underneath my stomach, a warm spreading wetness that was chilling me from the inside out. I knew what it was but Nathan was holding me so tightly to him I couldn’t move to check.

  ‘NATHAN HOLD ON, PLEASE YOU’VE GOT TO HOLD ON, I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU,’ I shouted to him.

  More tears poured down my face.

  His voice whispered to me as his breath left his body.

  I leant over closer to hear his words.

  ‘Don’t cry because it’s over, darlin… smile because we happened.’

  His grip had released me and I watched his mask slip over his face once again.

  I could see the pool of blood as it began to appear underneath him.

  I looked up as his eyes closed.

  I kissed the dirty mouth I loved.

  His lips were already cold.

  BELLA

  The day had finally arrived. I was stood in my favourite place on the balcony, at the Blackmores’ family home, staring out to the sea. The day was stormy and grey, we would be really bloody lucky if it didn’t rain.

  This was the day when I no longer got to run away from my past.

  This was the day when my immediate future had to be faced.

  My hands fidgeted with the flowers in my hand, laughable really, if I had felt like laughing
. Nate’s fidgeting had obviously rubbed off on me. Around and around I turned the circular bouquet of flowers. Watching how the few glimmers of light that strained through the clouds caught on the still beautiful, vibrant blue colour, standing out against the pure white. I couldn’t believe how Nathan had somehow managed to rescue them from the clutches of the dark depths of the ocean only a few weeks before. He had apparently tried to return them to me that very night. The night I had refused to answer the door to him. I shook my head remembering another of our stupid fights and my subsequent flight. That all seemed so long ago, the joke of it was that although it was less than a month ago. I felt like I had lived a lifetime in a few short weeks. I turned around from my position on the balcony and stared at the closed door behind me longingly, wishing he was there knocking now. I wouldn’t hesitate to answer the door.

  Instead I was going to him.

  Returning my gaze to my hands, my fingers started to delicately adjust the tiny petals. The forget-me-nots had been so expertly dried, they still looked alive. Whoever had been tasked with saving them had done a fantastic job.

  Just like Nate had done with me, when he had rescued me from the clutches of hell. Petre had meant to shoot me, instead he had shot Nathan, as he used his own body to shield mine. He wasn’t the helpful boy I remembered. We had been told he was now under arrest and being extradited back to the UK. He was a killer like every other male member of his family.

  It was so poignant that the flowers I was going to take to Nathan now should be forget-me-nots, because he would always be with me, now and forever. I was going to take them back to him, just one last time.

  ‘Bella… are you ready to go? It’s time.’ I didn’t need to turn. I knew it was Alex that had come for me.

  ‘I am,’ I replied. I clutched the flowers tightly in one hand and sorted out the front of my prom-style pink dress, with the other. That had been a request of Nathan’s for us all to wear clothes we were comfortable and happy in. Definitely no suits, or boring sombre colours. It was his non-compliant attitude and quirkiness shining through once again.

  I placed my hand through the crook of Alex’s waiting arm and we made our way down the sweeping stairs and into the car that was waiting especially for us. What I would give to hear a sexist wolf-whistle leave Nathan’s lips. I could picture him in his leathers with his arse resting against the edge of the table, like the last time I had swept down the stairs. This house was full of memories and I loved it for that very reason. With every step I could feel myself shaking with the emotion of the day. Obviously Alex felt me trembling as he placed his other hand over the top of mine in reassurance.

  ‘Hey… it’s OK… I’m with you… we’re all there for you,’ he said, as he patted the top of my fingers.

  The drive was relatively quick and painless and we didn’t get caught in any holiday traffic. That was a relief in itself. The building we pulled up outside of, was formidable looking. I waited until Alex had vacated the car. He extended his large hand, so much like his brother’s, back into the doorway to help me out.

  My heels clicked on the tiled floor and met each beat of my racing heart. We finally reached the room where the service was due to take place and I inhaled the biggest breath of my life, trying to swallow down the emotions that threatened to spill up and out of me. Alex offered me his arm again and I took it willingly. The door opened and I could now see all the faces of our family and friends, gathered together in the small room.

  My eyes however, returned none of their glances. I walked slowly towards the man, who would always be the love of my life. Tears started to run down both of my cheeks, I didn’t wipe them away; it would have been a complete bloody waste of time. I knew that they would just be replaced by more, as my emotions finally got the better of me and spilled out for all to see.

  Walking over to him now, and looking downwards, I placed the flowers down on the mound he created with his body and I smiled at him through my tears.

  ‘I’ve brought the flowers back for you, Nathan.’ I couldn’t say anymore as the constriction within my throat was impairing my voice.

  Nathan raised both hands and brushed my cheeks with his thumbs to wipe my tears away.

  The bullet had torn into his body, but luckily went straight through and out the other side, remarkably, causing very little internal damage. Nathan had lost a lot of blood and had fallen unconscious from the head injury he sustained as we fell off the bike, as he fought so hard to protect me with his own body. They had initially kept him sedated, whilst his head injury was monitored. For a few days it was touch and go. Then my beautiful man had woken up. The first question that fell out of that dirty mouth that I loved so much was to ask me to be his wife.

  Here we all were, seven days later at a local hospital in the Hamptons, surrounded by all of those we loved. Once he was well enough, Alex and Scott had seen to it that he was flown home.

  ‘You came then, darlin?’ He beamed his lopsided, full on bad-boy grin at me. ‘I know it’s the bride’s prerogative to be goddamn late… but you were cutting it a bit fucking fine.’ I watched as he swept his eyes up and down the length of my body, he took in my bare legs and short dress but his gaze finally rested on my boobs. I smiled and nodded my answer. He looked handsome in typical Nathan fashion. He was wearing a button down collar shirt, in white, his sleeves were rolled up and his wrist cuffs were exposed, but in total Nathan non-compliance he also had on a well-worn pair of faded blue jeans. His feet were bare. It didn’t matter to me what he wore, I couldn’t have cared less. I inhaled the smell of his spicy sandalwood body wash, not realising until that very moment, just how much I had missed even the smell of him.

  ‘You ready…?’ He gripped one of my hands tightly, with one of his much larger ones, rubbing his calloused thumb over my knuckles. ‘If you are… you’re not fucking close enough.’ He moved his head, gesticulating that I needed to move my head down, closer to his. I leant towards him with a smile, and brushed my lips lightly on his. I pulled back just creating a small fissure in between us.

  ‘Well I have the something borrowed,’ I touched the bouquet on the bed. ‘It has blue flowers in it, so I have something blue…, I have something new,’ I put my lips down to his ear and whispered, ‘the slight bumps protruding from my nipples, are my latest piercings. They’re a wedding present, for you.’ I moved back a little and stared into his shocked eyes, and winked. ‘My something old is,’ I made sure his gaze followed my hand as I lifted up a certain pearl necklace that I was wearing and I waggled my eyebrows at him as I teased him.

  Nathan laughed cathartically loud. It was the most fantastic, uplifting sound to hear. My heart skipped a beat as I listened to him. We had come through so much to be here today, together.

  ‘Jeez, I knew I had found my comeuppance in you, and you just goddamn proved it.’ He then whispered to me, ‘Once you become Mrs. Blackmore and I get the hell out of here, you’re going to regret the teasing, darlin.’

  ‘I do hope so, as that was my intention.’ I licked gently around my lips and watched as his eyes followed my tongue.

  He whispered low in my ear, ‘If you want all the family to watch us fuck, you’re going the right goddamn way about it. If you would prefer to keep that to just us in fucking private, I suggest you stop… right now.’

  The wedding officiant interrupted us as he bent his head down to us.

  ‘Nathan, Bella, are we ready?’

  ‘Sure we are… I’ve never been more fucking ready for something in my whole life and from now on she’s doing as she’s goddam told… aren’t ya, darlin?’ He winked at me as I gasped, frowned a warning and pursed my lips back at him.

  We said our vows with me half standing and half lying across the bed, next to the broken and damaged body of the man I loved with all of my heart. The man who had so much loyalty and love for me, he had been willing to give up his own life for mine. My vows were basic and short with me just adding how much he meant to me, but his written vows simpl
y blew me away. I watched as he pulled out a crumpled handwritten piece of paper from his top pocket. He winked and waggled his eyebrows at me as he began to read.

  Bella, you came into my life just when I needed you. You were and are everything I wanted and needed without even knowing it. You came in and touched me, not only skin to skin, but heart to heart. You are everything I want in my life, now and for the rest of our lives together. I thank you for accepting the damaged shell of the man I was and making me whole again. I promise you I will always be around for comfort when you need it, I will always be around for reassurance. Never will we leave each other’s sides again. I give you my heart and my body (he winked on that bit at my smirking face) from now until eternity. You were made for me and I was made to worship every step you take. I look back on the shit that happened in our lives and now I thank God for it.

  It’s why we found each other.

  It’s why we accepted each other.

  It was inevitable we would end up together.

  We never took our eyes off each other. The private hospital room was filled with all our family and friends, but all we needed was the two of us and the rest of our lives together.

  The officiant declared us husband and wife, and the room burst into spontaneous applause and they all gathered closer to us now, to congratulate us both. Somewhere behind me I heard the deep voice of Alex, ‘Thank fuck for that… those two were doing my head in.’ He was probably trying to whisper to Frankie. His deep bass tones always seemed to carry further than he thought.

  ‘Ok, everyone… lets clear out and give the newlyweds a little alone time, shall we?’ I heard Scott’s more gentle tone. The sudden rustling of movement and the click of heels on the tiled floor told us they were reacting to his request. I felt a touch on my shoulder. I tore my eyes away from Nathan’s and looked into Frankie’s smiling face. We exchanged no words, they weren’t necessary.