by Audra Cole
I also knew, it was likely that after the explanation, I would want to drink a bottle of wine and pass out in my bed.
Once home, I changed out of my stuffy work attire, and threw on a pair of my favorite yoga pants and a loose fitting tank top that always slid down one shoulder and made me feel like the girl from Flashdance. As I waited for my microwave dinner to cook, I checked my phone, and noticed I had a new email message.
Colton’s name popped up when I clicked on it and the sight of his name set my heart into a flurry of palpitations. I’d seen his texts over the past few days, but had ignored them all. I didn’t know what to say, and decided it was easier to move on and pretend like none of it had ever happened. As I stared down at the email, it wasn’t an easy swipe to delete it as it had been with the texts. I wanted to read what he had to say, even if I didn’t think it would change anything. I checked the time of the email and realized he’d sent it earlier that day, probably around the time I’d been mid-meltdown.
With another flick of my fingertip, the message opened on the screen and I got lost in his sweet words. I was so engrossed that when the microwave went off, I jumped out of my skin, and dropped my phone to the kitchen floor. I hurried to scoop it off the floor and my eyes gobbled up the message once more. With trembling fingers, I found his name on my contact list and pressed the call button.
I sucked in a slow breath as I brought the phone up to my ear.
Colton answered right away. “Karena?”
“It’s me.”
He sighed and I could feel his relief over the phone. “Wow. I’m so glad you called. How are you?”
“I’m all right,” I said, hoping I sounded less basket-case than I felt. “Is this a good time?”
“Of course.”
I abandoned my reheated dinner and went into the living room to pace nervously as I tried to figure out what to say first. Colton’s words from the email were still bouncing around my mind and swirled with my own thoughts and responses.
“You still there?” Colton asked.
“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry. I just—” I paused for another long breath. “God, I don’t know why this is so hard. I just read your email and I thought I should call and explain where I’m at with all this stuff. I’m sorry I went off the radar the past few days. Our last conversation threw me off, and I wasn’t sure what to say, or do. I still don’t, really. But I want to say something.”
I pinched my eyes closed, cringing at my rambling sentences. I sounded like an idiot.
“I’m really glad you did,” Colton replied. The warmth of his voice wrapped me up and relaxed away my self-criticism. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I pushed my hair back with my free hand and sank down onto the couch, my legs no longer restless. “I like you, a lot. This whole thing has been so outta left field, but in a really good way.”
“Yeah. For me too.”
“If I’m really honest, I’m terrified.”
“Me too.”
“Really?”
Colton laughed. “Yes, really. Trust me, Karena, I never counted on meeting someone like you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad I did, but it’s out of my depth too. A month ago, getting married wasn’t really on my radar. Then, I post an ad, and you come along, and it’s like, bam! Suddenly it’s all right in front of me, and I have to figure out what to do.”
I laughed along with him and relished the easiness that clicked back into place. It had always been easy with Colton, and it was a relief to have that back again. “Well, you’re always Mr. Confident, answer for everything, so I had no idea.”
“I guess that’s just how I am,” Colton replied. “My job counts on me keeping a cool head no matter what gets thrown at me and my guys. It’s easy for me to take charge and handle things. But, that doesn’t always mean I know exactly what I’m doing, and with you, and us, it’s no different. I wasn’t expecting to find you, but now that I have, I want to do whatever it takes to make it work. Like I said in the email, Karena, I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”
I sighed and leaned back against the couch. “But what does that even mean? Like, we’re getting married? Right away? Talk logistics to me for a minute here.”
“Yes ma’am,” Colton replied, laughing. “We’ll take it as slow or fast as we need to, but since you asked, the first thing I need to do is to get you to Georgia.”
A shiver of anticipation snaked down my spine at the idea of being in Colton’s hometown, in his home…maybe, even in his bed.
He continued, “I know you have a job and all that, but you must get some kind of vacation time?”
I nodded, sobered slightly by his question. This is really happening. “I have two weeks saved up. I haven’t taken any time off since I started, other than an odd sick day here and there.”
I left out that the real reason I’d squirreled away so much vacation, wasn’t because I was planning some kick ass vacation, and was more to do with the fact that I needed all the hours I could get to rack up as much commission cash as possible. I hadn’t discussed my finances with Colton, and while I was fairly certain he was under no illusion that I was a millionaire, he didn’t know how strapped I was for cash.
“Great! Well, as soon as you can, put in for some time off and I’ll fly you out this way. You can stay with me, or in a hotel. Whatever you’d be more comfortable with. We’ll take some time in the real, every day swing of things to get to know each other and see if this translates over.”
“Wow,” I breathed.
It was suddenly all so real and tangible. A nervous smile twitched on my lips as I imagined what it would be like to step off of an airplane and into Colton’s arms.
“So, we’re really doing this?” Colton asked, breaking through my momentary fantasy.
I nodded and the crazy grin spread across my face. “We’re really doing this!”
Chapter Twelve: Colton
The plans for Karena’s visit came together quickly, without any major snags, and three days after we’d made the agreement to give our relationship a two week, trial by fire, she was scheduled to come out the following Monday, and I’d purchased her plane ticket. I was still shocked by the breakneck pace of everything, but with each day marked off my calendar, my excitement and eagerness grew.
All that was left was to break the news to my buddies.
And hope that neither one of them checked me into a mental institution.
I made plans to meet Lucas and Miles at our normal bar, Duke’s, for a drink after a long day of training. I was the first to arrive, and was holding down a table in the corner, by the old school, neon jukebox, nursing my first beer, when they came through the front door. They spotted me right away and headed over, stopping to exchange brief greetings with a few other soldiers along the way.
Miles got to the table first and slid onto the bench seat across from me. “Hey, Hawk.”
Lucas crashed into the seat next to Miles, automatically shoving him over without a word. Miles rolled his eyes, but scooted down to make room. Lucas grinned over at me. “Damn, Hawk. I feel like you’ve been MIA forever. What’s new?”
I grinned. “A lot, actually.”
Lucas raised an eyebrow at me as Miles signaled at Lucy, our normal waitress, gesturing for her to bring over a couple more beers. “Is this about your internet girl?”
Miles snapped to attention. “Internet girl? Bro, we got more than enough girls here, in real life. You don’t need to get tangled up in that pay by the minute shit.”
“She’s not a cam girl.” Lucas roared with laughter, throwing his head back. I rolled my eyes and began to launch into my defense, but waited until Lucy had dropped off the beers Miles had ordered from across the room. “Shit, Miles.”
Miles looked from Lucas—who was still shaking with uncontrollable laughter—and then back to me, his expression a mix of amusement and confusion. Lucas shook his head, smiling like a fool, and slapped Miles’ arm. “No, man, I told you about this already. Hawk m
et someone from his online dating ad.”
Recognition dawned on Miles face, followed up by a big smile. I shot a dark look at Lucas, wondering just how he’d framed the situation in his explanation. “Her name is Karena, and you two better get all your shits and giggles out now, because in a few days, she’s going to be here, and you’ll have to keep it together. I won’t have you two knuckleheads scaring her off.”
The remnant of Lucas’ smile dropped out of sight. “Here?”
“For two weeks,” I replied. I was still annoyed with the teasing, but couldn’t hold back a wide smile at how good it sounded. Two weeks with Karena, all to myself.
It was going to be perfect.
“Well, shit, that was fast,” Lucas commented, reaching for his beer. “Guess this is serious, then?”
I held up my hands, palms out to my friends. “Listen, I don’t expect you to understand, but Karena isn’t coming just to visit. We’re talking about marriage and building a real future together. She isn’t a fling or piece of ass. This is real.”
Miles rolled his eyes. “Come on, Hawk. Not the marriage crap again.”
Lucas elbowed him. “Hey asshole, we said we’d be supportive.”
Miles bristled. “You said that. I’m standing by my original sentiment, that it’s insane to get married just to get a promotion. Not even that, it’s a shot at a promotion. Which, by the way, you’ll probably get anyways. Married or not. They’d be insane not to promote you because of something like your marital status.”
Lucas opened his mouth, ready to argue with Miles, but I interjected first, not wanting my two friends to battle it out over something that was my choice. “Like I said before, it’s not that I’m getting married just for the sake of my promotion to Captain. That was what got me thinking about it, and sure, that’s still what I want and I’m willing to do just about anything to get it, but at the same time, I want to make it clear that I’m not doing it just for that. It’s time to settle down, start something real. I mean honestly, what’s wrong with that?”
Miles folded his arms and shot his eyes around the crowded bar. “Well, for starters, you think this is gonna happen once you’re married? You think you’ll have the freedom to come and go as you please? Nope! She’ll want you home every night, she’ll nag you about your drinking, and Spriggs and me better hope to hell she likes us, otherwise, we’ll be on the banned list.”
“The banned list?” I repeated, with a hollow laugh. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Miles shrugged, his lips pointed defiantly. “I’ve seen it happen before. You can’t say the guys you know that are married have any freedom. That’s a joke. Look around this place, you think there’s even one married guy in here?”
At his prompting, I cast a look around the bar. Nearly every table was occupied. Clusters of guys and girls, sharing a pitcher of beer and laughing, a few pool tables with observers gathered on the sidelines, and the bar was filled with guys looking to score, and women that knew Duke’s reputation as an Army bar and wanted to have a fun night out with a soldier—like it was something on a sexual fantasy bucket list.
Duke’s had always been a hot spot, and a place Lucas, Miles, and I had always frequented. I had to admit, that most of the time, it was in search of action. A hot one nighter, or anonymous weekend. No strings.
There was a chance that if I had a wife, she wouldn’t love the idea of me hanging out in such an atmosphere, but as my eyes scanned over the groups of fellow patrons, I couldn’t muster up even a hint of concern over the possibility of missing out on easy hookups.
“Married or not, it doesn’t really matter, Miles. You’re missing my point,” I said, bringing my focus back to the conversation. “I understand that getting married will change my lifestyle, and I’m okay with that. I’m getting real close to pushing thirty, and before I hit that milestone, I’d like to be settled down. Even if that means trading out my guy nights at Dukes.”
Miles slapped his hands down on the table. “All right, dude. Your funeral. In the meantime, I’m gonna go snag that blonde that just walked in.” Lucas stood and let him out of the booth. Before he left, he dug out his wallet and dropped a handful of bills on the table. “Later.” I watched as he wove through the crowd, like a big cat, stalking down the kill, as he made his way to the busty blonde who was standing at the bar, giving her order to the bartender.
Lucas sighed and took his seat again. We both watched as Miles circled the blonde, leaned in casually against the bar, and gave Lucas and I a final, pointed look, before kicking on the charm and striking up a conversation with the woman.
I shifted my attention back to Lucas. “All right, well, I guess I know where Warren stands on the issue. What’d ya got?”
Lucas shook his head. “He’ll come around. You know he will.”
I sipped my beer. “Maybe. What the hell was he saying about getting put on lock down? I think he’s taking the ball and chain analogy just a little too far.”
Lucas held his glass, spinning it with his fingertips in slow circles against the table top. “His parents have been putting the pressure on lately.”
“About what?”
“They want him to settle down, get married, have some kids,” Lucas answered, looking back up from his fidgeting. “He has that trust fund, and he’s worried that if he doesn’t give into their demands soon, he’s gonna lose that.”
I sputtered for words to say. I’d known that Miles’ parents were wealthy. Old money. But I had no idea that he had anything to do with it. He acted like the polar opposite of what usually came to mind when thinking of a trust fund kid. He didn’t own his home, he rented a simple, two-bedroom house on the base. He had a killer bike, but he did all the work on it himself, and I’d never seen him drop big money on anything in all the years we’d been friends. I knew he’d had some legal trouble back in high school. He’d apparently been even more of a hell raiser. I’d always assumed that whatever he’d done back then had gotten him kicked out of the family’s money pool.
“He doesn’t like to talk about it,” Lucas said, filling in when I couldn’t find a response. “He got a little sloppy a couple of weeks ago, and I got the call to come drag him out of some piece of shit bar. On the ride back, he kinda spilled his guts. Honestly dude, I didn’t even know he was still in touch with his parents. He never talks about them.”
I looked back across the room, and saw him lean in to whisper something—probably hopelessly dirty—into the blonde’s ear. His hand was resting on the small of her back, and seconds later, he was settling the tab and leading her out of the bar.
Without so much as a glance back at us.
“Don’t tell him I told you about it, all right? He hasn’t said anything about it since. I don’t even know if he realizes he said anything about it.”
I nodded. “Yeah, sure. I won’t say anything. That’s pretty messed up though…”
“Agreed.”
“What about you?” I asked, suddenly realizing that I really had no idea where he stood on the issue of marriage and family. Lucas was a year younger than me, and a few steps behind on the career ladder, but we were very similar in ambition and drive. The only real difference was he didn’t have an overbearing father breathing down his neck all the time.
Lucas shrugged and finished off his beer. He looked down at the empty glass, and I could see him considering whether or not to order another. After a moments consideration, he pushed the glass to the edge of the table and looked up at me. “I really don’t know.” He relaxed his shoulders back against the booth and tapped his fingers on the tabletop. “I guess I should know the answer to that one, huh?”
“I didn’t. Not until a few weeks ago. I guess, it just clicked and made sense. And meeting Karena, that’s kinda made it more clear.”
Lucas smiled. “Man, you’re so far gone.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, it’s a little too late to look back now. I just emailed her the flight confirmation yesterday.”
&
nbsp; “Wow.” He shook his head like he still couldn’t quite believe it. “Well, congrats man. I hope it works out for you.”
“Thanks. Me too.”
Lucas arched a brow. “You nervous?”
I laughed at his skeptical question. “Is it that obvious?”
“Man, it must be love.” He grinned. “It’s not like you to get flustered. You’re the cool, confident one. If you start to fall to pieces, I’m pretty sure the rest of us are doomed.”
“I’ll be all right.” I grinned. He was right. Miles was the hothead. Lucas was the laid back one. And I was Mr. Responsibility. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t worried though. I have this picture in my head, of how it’ll go, but I’m sure there are parts of it that are unrealistic. I’ve never had a long-term relationship, so in some ways, I don’t know what to expect. It’s all baseless fantasy land right now.”
“Hey, at least you can see that. Most guys walk in with blinders on and then act shocked when it turns perfecto shit.”
“Well, with my parents as my only real example, it would be pretty hard to think of marriage as some storybook thing.”
Lucas laughed softly. “Yours and mine both.”
I scoffed. “At least yours went their own ways. You don’t have to spend every holiday or family function pretending that everything is fine, when you know they’re really just waiting for everyone to leave so they can get away from each other again. You hit a point where you just want to yell at them to give up the illusion.”
“What do you think they’re gonna say about all this?” Lucas asked.
My heart burst into a frantic, machine-gun fire pace at the idea. Telling my family about Karena wasn’t something that had crossed my mind. Most guys probably couldn’t wait to bring their girlfriend home to show her off, and while I’d often wished for someone to be by my side when I was surrounded by the other couples in the room, I’d never even thought about introducing her to them the first time. My family could be great, but depending on the occasion, my parents had the potential to be volatile, pushy, or cold.