Just Between Us: A Friend's to Lover's Romance

by Bri Stone

  “Aw, honey. She deserves to know at some point.” I shook my head.

  “I know, but…it isn’t an easy fix.” I shrugged, lost for the right words.

  “How long have you known?” Her bell-like voice was filled with curiosity. She was eating this up. My mom sort of knows I’m kind of a man whore, she’s just never said anything about it. Maybe in high school to make sure I didn’t impregnate anyone and catch a disease. I couldn’t look her in the eye for a few weeks but I got over it.

  “Since freshman year.”

  “Of college?”

  “No, high school.” Her jaw dropped a little bit, her lower lip trembling as she held back a smile.

  “Whoa, that’s a long time. You should have an ulcer by now, holding that in all this time.” I nodded. Sometimes I did in fact feel like I had an ulcer.

  “I know.” I sighed, my breath shaky.

  “Dillon, you have to tell her. Or you’ll just get so worked up it will ruin your friendship. And I know you don’t want that to happen.” I nodded. I definitely didn’t want that.

  “No, I don’t. It just isn’t that easy. Besides…I’m not really relationship material. You know that.” I said, remembering the awkward conversation we had years ago.

  “I know, but…”

  “I mean I’m not good at real relationships and that’s what she wants. She’s an English major, remember? So she’s a hopeless romantic. She deserves that, she deserves what she wants and I can’t exactly give her that.”

  The longest relationship I had was sophomore year, one that I only kept going to try and forget about Lori. It didn’t work, it lasted three months. Since then I just…hit it and quit it, shitty as it sounds. But it’s the truth. I may take the occasional courtesy of learning their name and major but that’s just how I went with it. It works for me and I can’t make mistakes with Lori. I love her too damn much.

  “You may think you can’t but love makes you do crazy things.” She left it with that.

  I talked with her a bit longer until it was closer to dinner time than lunch. I should be home with her, she said it a few times but she understood how heated things could get with my dad. She walked me out to the car and gave me Lori’s gift. The box was wrapped nicely in Duke University’s colors.

  “I’ll give it to her when I get back. I’ve been at their house.” She nodded.

  “Theo told me.” Of course. She eyed the Beamer, knowing I had gone home to get it.

  “You’ll be home for Christmas, right?”

  “Yeah, of course.” She reached out to hug me.

  “Oh! Before I forget, is Lori coming with us to Aspen for New Years?” I shrugged. I hadn’t asked her yet. She went with us for the past two years when her dad had to work the New Year’s shift. Her sister was with Ryan’s family since they met so I didn’t want her to be alone the first time I asked.

  “I don’t know, I’ll ask her.” She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek.

  “Okay. Well we leave the thirty-first.” She stepped back and rubbed my arms, giving me a weird look.

  “I love you, son. And your father loves you too.” She gripped my chin and then smoothed out my hair. Hey green eyes bored into mine. I knew she loved me, I mean really loved me. It was my father that I wasn’t so sure about.

  Nine:

  Lori was in the shower when I got back, good thing too because after all the talk about her, I highly considered telling her on the way back. It would be romantic, right? The Christmas season, hot chocolate and pumpkin spice scented everything is good, right? What did I know?

  I hid—in plain sight, in their living room with her gift on my lap. A noise off to the side startled me, but then Theo announced himself.

  “Hey son, Lori is upstairs.” He gruffed.

  “Oh, I know.” I turned to him.

  He had obviously just woken up, his hair was disheveled, his shirt wrinkled and his flannel pants bunched up. It would have been odd, seeing him this casual but Theo was like a second dad to me.

  “What’s that?” He gestured to the wrapped box as he shuffled into the kitchen.

  “My mom got this for Lori.” I explained.

  He hadn’t said anything in a while but he was moving around the kitchen, probably making dinner.

  “Crap!” Theo exclaimed suddenly.

  I turned around to see the kitchen smoked up like a pub. He noticed me staring and laughed at himself.

  “I guess I’m ordering pizza for dinner.” He joked, I laughed along with him.

  “What is that smell?” Lori leaned over the banister. I looked up, all she wore was a towel. She must have absolutely no idea how I felt because she wouldn’t do stuff like that, right?

  “I burned lasagna.” Theo answered.

  “The oven ready ones? Really dad?” She grinned. Theo shook his head and started dialing.

  “Dillon, I need your help.” She looked right at me and then hobbled off to her room, her towel barely came past her ass.

  Theo was talking on the phone when I followed her upstairs. I went into her room, shut the door behind me and pressed up against it like I was trying to be as far from her as possible.

  “Oh, is that what your mom got me?” She smiled up at me and crossed the room. She tugged her hair out of the bow it was in and it flowed right down her shoulders. Her blue eyes were bright, big and cute. My breath was officially taken away.

  “Yeah.”

  She grabbed it and set it on the bed.

  I gingerly stepped around the room until I sat on the edge of her bed. She went to her dresser on the opposite wall. I tore my gaze away when she grabbed a pair of panties and tugged them on under her towel. She grabbed a t-shirt and tossed it on, not removing her towel until it was past her shoulders. Her back was to me and I looked back too soon, in one hot and frustrating second I saw her bare back, smooth and her hips round. I saw the swell of her breasts on the side just before her shirt fell. Actually, it was my shirt so it fit her like a dress.

  “That’s my shirt.” I cleared my throat, my voice came out deep and raspy.

  “Oh, yeah. Sorry.” She said, not sorry at all. She smiled and sat next to me, curling her legs up under her as she reached for her gift.

  “How was it? Seeing your mom.” She asked, her voice serious.

  “Good. Really good actually. I miss talking to her, and seeing her.”

  “You could be seeing her right now.” Her brow cocked as she shot me a pointed look.

  “Yeah, with a bitter taste in my mouth from my father ruining things like he always does when I’m home. I’ll see them on Christmas…by the way, are you coming with us to Aspen again?” The corner of her mouth tugged into a smile.

  “I thought you’d never ask. Carrie told me today that she would be with Ryan and dad has to work. New Year’s means fireworks, which means fire, so.” She looked away, her expression somber. I knew how much it hurt that Theo had to work on almost every important holiday. Apparently, he had to fight for Christmas to be his day off.

  “Yeah, I get it. We leave the thirty-first…open your gift.” I nudged her knee with my hand. Mistake. Her skin was soft, and irresistibly hard to pull away.

  “Okay.”

  She tore the wrapping paper quickly; a box was sealed with a tape. She tore it with her nail and tossed the cover off.

  “Whoa.” She breathed. She held up a chiffon, purple dress that looked on the older side of fashion. A piece of paper fell from it and she read it, smiling as she went along.

  “What did it say?”

  She opened her mouth to speak but her voice croaked instead. Concern flooded me when she started crying.

  “Are you okay?” I touched her forearm softly.

  “Oh, yeah. No, I’m fine. Look.” She wiped her falling tears with a smile and watched me read it.

  Lori,

  This dress was your mother’s. Well, it was mine too but the story is we saw this dress in the mall one day, way back in high school and we both wanted it.
Badly. But it was the very last one. So, we split it and had shared custody of it. We used to trade when we came home from college and even after that. I’m giving it to you now because your mother would have wanted you to have it. I know she would have. Carrie isn’t a dress person. She is so proud of you and of the woman you’ve become, so am I. I miss her every day; this dress was the last thing I had of her but it belongs to you now. Congratulations, I love you.

  -Natalie.

  “My mom is very sentimental.”

  Lori laughed through her tears.

  “Yeah. I can’t wait to wear this.” She stood on her knees on the bed and laid the dress over her.

  “It’s beautiful.” You’re beautiful. I stared at her. She smiled and nodded.

  She wiped the last of her tears and hugged me, I was taken aback for a second but I hugged her back. My arms went around her waist tightly. I inhaled her scent and laughed immediately.

  “Hey, Cheesecake.” She giggled and pulled away, much to my disappointment.

  “Shut up, it’s the best shampoo out there.” I shook my head, laughing at her. It was like she ran through my head in slow motion, her full lips curling up in a smile, her eyes gleaming, her skin glowing, freckles fanning her nose and cheeks…breath taken away again.

  “Sure, I believe you.”

  She giggled and got up to hang the dress in her closet.

  “When are you leaving for the party?” I asked her.

  “Uh…nine. So I’m not there too early.” I nodded. I considered going with her again but I knew I would just make a fool of myself, do something stupid and probably end up taking another girl home. For some reason, I just wasn’t in the mood for a random hook up. Lori not only made me want something serious, I wanted her. Problem was I cared about her too much to mess things up, and I trust myself to do that.

  “Oh, okay. Did you still go to the library?” She gasped and leapt across the room.

  “Yeah, and they had the new James Patterson books.” She dug through her bag and brought out three new books, adding them to her book shelf.

  “You know you just have to return those.” I laughed.

  She shook her head and came back to sit next to me.

  “No, I saw them at the library and then decided to buy them. I dream of owning all his books one day.” She sighed.

  “How many are there?” She shot me a look, as if I should know the answer to this question already.

  “Hundreds.”

  “Oh.”

  “Hey, you guys want some pizza!” Theo called from down stairs.

  “Yeah!” Lori called back.

  She stood and tossed on a pair of leggings—wasn’t any better than her bare legs because it just made her ass look better. She walked in front of me and my gaze was right on her the whole time. When I sat at the table I was uncomfortably pressing out of my jeans.

  “Dad, you always get this.” Lori grabbed a few slices of the alfredo spinach pizza.

  “It’s my favorite, kid.” He nudged her shoulder playfully and sat across from me.

  Lori was on my right side. They exchanged conversation as they ate. It was obvious how much they loved each other, it never felt like that in my house. With my mom, sure. But my dad…not so much.

  “Well, I’m old so I’m going to bed. See you guys.” He kissed Lori’s forehead and nodded at me before retreating to his bedroom. Lori cleaned up and then we sat back in the living room.

  We continued with Grey’s Anatomy, on the season where they try and buy the hospital. It’s more stressful to watch than all the other ones, surprisingly. Lori casually rested on my shoulder, she didn’t mean anything by it but every time she touched me it just felt intimate. More so than when I’m sleeping with someone. I was barely touching her with my arm around her, but it was enough for me. It had to be, because I didn’t want to trade this for anything.

  “I’m going to start getting ready.” She left after a few episodes.

  I sat on the couch, feeling like a chum. I should just go and tell her, ‘don’t go to the party, stay with me because I’m in love with you.’ I’m a good size, but I just don’t have the balls for that.

  She was gone for about an hour, it never took her long. When she came back down and stood in front of me, I had to physically cover my erection with a pillow. A pillow.

  “I look okay, right?”

  She went for a casual look, and it was fucking hot. She wore boyfriend style jeans—really, they’re just my jeans that she stole and cut up in the right places. Her top was a gray, V-neck crop top, but it was loose on her, showing off her stomach. She wore a long charm necklace and had a little braid on the side of her head.

  “Yeah, you look great.” I tried to say as casually as possible.

  “Okay, good.”

  She went to the mirror off of their dining room to look at herself again.

  “You seem really anxious about this party…is it because of Tommy?” She came back and sat in the love seat.

  “No, I just don’t want to make a fool of myself.” I laughed.

  “You won’t. just be yourself—you’re amazing.” I hadn’t meant to say the last part out loud but she didn’t dwell on it too much.

  “Thanks.” And that bothered me again. It just makes me feel like she has this big wall up that I can’t even bulldoze through, no matter how hard I try.

  She got up to get a coat from the coat closet.

  “I’ll be back soon. Don’t…I don’t know.” She giggled and scurried out the door, quickly tossing me a wave behind her. I stared after her like an idiot.

  Ten:

  It was only midnight; I shouldn’t be worried. But I knew the party scene well, you don’t stay for more than three hours unless you like someone in particular. That someone is Tommy. I think.

  I told myself not to stress about it but I kept thinking about the other night with that guy. What if I didn’t assure her enough? What if she still feels like she has to just ‘lose it?’ Lori is very stubborn, if she has an idea she runs with it. It’s super attractive but it also drives me up the wall worrying about her—because she has had some not so good ideas before.

  I let the doctors of Seattle Grace, now Grey Sloan Memorial, distract me until one in the morning. I headed upstairs and changed into some sweats before I got comfortable on her couch. I was out fast because I was tired and worrying about Lori was even more exhausting.

  When I woke up, she wasn’t in her bed and I was ready to freak out but then I heard her in the kitchen. Her dad doesn’t cook so I knew it was her. I woke up with less of a hard on so it was easy going through my morning routine, I met her downstairs. Sans shirt.

  “Morning.” She turned and smiled, not even taking a second look at me. now, don’t get me wrong here but girls usually swoon at the sight of shirtless me. I wouldn’t lie to you, so bear with me.

  “Hey. It’s so early.” I started a pot of coffee. She shrugged and kept stirring eggs.

  “It’s after ten.”

  I leaned on the counter and watched her, my arms crossed in front of me. Her face was a bit red, as it always is in the morning, and her hair was in a messy bun. She was in my shirt again. How did she even get that? I shook the question from my head.

  “Right,” I cleared my throat, “so, how was it?” I asked her. She tossed the eggs in and sighed, turning to me. She looked up at me and smiled a bit.

  “You know how I wanted to date Tommy back in high school?” I nodded.

  “Yeah…”

  “Well I did, last night.” She laughed. I didn’t get it at first but then I understood.

  “That bad, huh?” My coffee was ready. I poured it and added the right amount of diabetes.

  “Not really. He just kept talking about football and himself. It was tiring.” She shook her head and tended to the eggs.

  “Yeah, a lot of guys will tend to do that.” She nodded.

  I moved closer to her so I was inches away and felt the heat radiating off of her body. I s
tared down at the top of her head, only because I couldn’t see anything else. Being six-four is annoying sometimes…only because Lori is barely five feet tall.

  “Are you okay?” I touched her shoulder gingerly.

  “What? Yeah, I’m fine. It was just kind of funny, actually. I might blog about it next. Or dating in general.” She sighed and turned to me.

  I reached in her hair and pretended to pull out a crumb or something. It was an excuse to touch her. I caught her gaze, not letting her look away.

  “You remember your look book you made? Like in sixth grade.” She laughed with me.

  “Yeah,” she nodded, “it was so dumb. According to my plan I should be engaged by now.” I laughed. I would propose to her right now if I knew she would say yes. She would just run away if I did.

  “It wasn’t dumb, just a little skewed. You’ll…find someone. I’m sure of it.” She held back a snort.

  “One day.”

  I had already found my person, it was her. Only she didn’t know that—and I didn’t know if she would ever know. She tossed cheese on the eggs and then gave me a plate.

  “We should go see the lights tomorrow.” I suggested. It may be too much of a ‘date’ kind of thing but we always took stuff like that in stride. It seemed to only be getting harder though, hiding my feelings for her. But I could—would never stop hanging out with her just because of that.

  “Yeah, that sounds like fun.” She agreed.

  We ate in silence but I watched her the whole time. She still seemed tense and…unsure of something.

  “Are you sure you’re okay, Lorraine?” I used her full name because I was really worried.

  “I’m fine. I swear.” She looked at me.

  “You don’t seem fine.” I leaned back in the chair. My legs drew open for relief.

  “I am, I swear.” She laughed nervously.

  She never liked being confronted, or talking about feelings unless they were fictional. She was quite the paradox. She wants a serious relationship, something to really challenge her and keep her invested. But she would never admit to her feelings, without you prying them out first. Sometimes, I swear no man will ever understand her like I do. But, then I think there are plenty of other, better guys out there for her.