He turned towards me and his eyes grew serious. “No one, I promise. And you have every right to ask that when you’re about to sleep in it.”
Rhys finished brushing his teeth and came from behind to wrap his arms around my waist. “I haven’t done anything to that degree in a long while. Longer than most would care to admit, but I don’t take it lightly. I guess I’m traditional and that’s important to me, plus with my public career I don’t just jump into bed with anyone…in any sense. Understand?”
With his face against mine, I could feel his cheekbones rising and falling against my ear as he spoke. He squeezed my waist and pressed me against him, imploring me for a response. I managed a nod, overwhelmed by the information he had just divulged. “Would it help if I read to you for a bit?”
“Maybe…I’m really grateful for you, you know. You’re a freaking saint.”
“Hardly,” he grinned, pushing his groin against my backside, reminding me how much he wanted me. “But that’s for another time. Let’s go to bed, Ellie,” he said, kissing my cheek and then pulling my hand towards his room.
∞
Friday, Rhys left earlier for the show because there was an issue with the understudy for Ophelia. I surprised him with dinner when he got home and we spent the rest of the weekend in similar bliss. Earlier in the week he’d gotten in touch with his mother and arranged for us to have dinner Sunday night.
I wanted that, and I knew Rhys cared for me if he wanted to introduce me to his mother, but that day I had been so anxious. I went home to try on multiple dresses, stupidly unhappy with the three I’d packed for his house, and I even called Anne to help bring me out of my anxiety attack. The night before, I questioned Rhys about his mother, asking him what she knew about me and how much he had told her.
He sensed my unease and explained while tickling the palm of my hand. “I’ve told her about your situation, but nothing in immense detail. I felt that was something you could discuss with her yourself, over time. She knows how we met, since day one, because while I didn’t divulge my infatuation with you, I told her that you were beautiful and intelligent. I’m sure she suspected something early on because I don’t usually talk about people I work with to that extent. She knows you’re American, and that you left home to get a new start.”
I nodded, staring across the bed into his sweet eyes.
“But what’s most important is that she knows you’ve made me incredibly happy. I was rather lonely before you came along.”
Understanding what she knew and didn’t know helped ease my concerns, and he read to me again which helped too. But when he left for the show that Sunday afternoon, my worries returned. They grew into this tangible thing, becoming monstrous as Bruce drove me to the theatre to pick up Rhys. He sized me up the minute he got into the car.
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m nervous.”
Scooting in beside me, Rhys reached for my hand and leaned his face close to mine. “Do you trust me?”
“Completely,” I said, surprising myself with my speedy reply.
“Okay, I promise you’re going to adore her more than me.” He paused and glanced at my outfit. “You look lovely by the way, I like your tights.”
He tried hiding his devious grin, but failed miserably. He was always aware that I needed a distraction. I kissed him, appreciative that he’d made me laugh. “I bet you do.”
∞
The Italian restaurant was busy, but not uncomfortably crowded. You could smell the tomatoes roasting in the air and it was easy to see it was family owned. The dim lighting gave off a romantic vibe, covering the space in a honey colored ambiance, and there were picture frames on every wall depicting the family’s history. Some were black and white and obviously in Italy, giving the sense that they’d been cooking for a long while.
I took it all in as Rhys left my side to request our table. The hostess, an adolescent girl, greeted Rhys and even hugged him. They seemed friendly, and clearly knew each other as they exchanged questions about their families after Rhys introduced me. She was amicable, leaving me to regret my momentary jealousy.
“Your mum isn’t here yet, but we saved your spot in the back,” she said as she led us to the table. Rhys took off my coat and then his, joining me for a seat. Then the owner stopped by as we glanced at our menus and Rhys got up at once, shaking his hand and turning it into a tight hug.
“Tomas, this is my girlfriend, Ellie.” I’d never tire of hearing him introduce me like that.
“Buonasera, Ellie! I’m so glad he’s brought you. He never brings ladies except his mama!”
Rhys tilted his head and it seemed he was blushing, though I couldn’t be sure in the dark room. They continued their conversation for a moment and when he sat back down I asked, “Another first?”
“Yes,” he nodded. “You caught me.”
“I like that, quite a bit actually.”
“Good,” he smiled.
We were interrupted by the owner speaking loudly at the front of the restaurant, and it clued Rhys in that his mother had arrived. Apparently his mother and Tomas were very old friends and Rhys rose to greet her. I found her across the room; she was beautiful and looked classically English. As she and Rhys approached me, I noticed her long white hair that grew past her shoulders, and I could see the slight resemblance between the two of them. I assumed he looked more like his father, but he certainly had her eyes because the moment she greeted me, I saw those same blue orbs staring back at me with nothing but affection and light.
“Ellie, it’s so good to meet you. I’m Catherine.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too,” I said, truly meaning it.
We sat and ordered as Rhys asked for a bottle of red wine and Catherine discussed the horrendous traffic that kept her. Once we had been served our drinks she asked me, “Ellie, I saw the show and I can’t believe how impressed I was. What do you think of our boy?”
“He’s something special,” I said, implying various meanings. “Easily one of the best I’ve ever seen.”
“I agree. I don’t tell many people that. They assume I’m being biased, but I just couldn’t comprehend how affected I felt by his performance. To think his father didn’t want him to act…”
“Mum, don’t start with that,” he chided her.
“We’ll it’s true. Don’t get me wrong, dear,” she looked over at me, “his father and I have been separated for years now, but we’re still best friends and he drives me insane. We didn’t always agree when it came to Rhys’ passion, but Freddy had no choice but to come around.”
“Of course, Rhys is so successful.”
We continued discussing the show and his mother proceeded to tell me about her home in Scotland. Every now and then her Scottish accent escaped past her London dialect and as terrible as I felt comparing her, she really reminded me of Mrs. Doubtfire. She looked nothing like Robin Williams’ character, but she exuded that same bubbly, welcoming personality. I instantly fell for her, and as dinner progressed I felt the stress rolling off my shoulders. I loved and hated that Rhys was right. He knew I had nothing to fret over and I’d let my head get the best of me.
During our dessert wine, Catherine asked me about our trip for Thanksgiving and it warmed my heart that Rhys had shared that with her. It meant it was important to him.
“Ellie, Rhys told me that you’re both going for the holiday. That will be lovely for him to celebrate with your family. I was wondering, what are your plans for Christmas?”
Rhys coughed harshly into his wine glass as though he’d choked and then blatantly stared at his mother as he cleared his throat. The silence grew awkward as I analyzed his reaction.
“We haven’t discussed that as of yet, mum,” he said.
But she shrugged and ignored him. “Ellie, if you’re in town for Christmas, we always a have a nice dinner with his father and the girls. I’d love for you to come, should you feel comfortable to join us.” Her eyes were so sincere and I could see wh
ere Rhys not only got his gaze from, but that glow that warmed everyone around him.
“Mrs. Edwards, thank you. I appreciate that you want to include me.”
“Catherine, please. No need to be so formal. And of course, we’d love to have you.”
“Thank you, Catherine.”
Shortly after, she took note of the time and claimed she needed to get home before her dessert wine kicked in. Rhys helped her with her coat, and then with mine, and it was rather sweet to see him dote on his two women. I got the sense that being surrounded by his two sisters and mother had taught him how to treat women and had given him lessons in how to deal with them too. It must have been why understanding me came so easily to him, that and the fact that his heart was made of gold.
Outside, the blistery cold of autumn greeted us and once she was in her car and driven away, I concluded that I adored her just as he said I would. It seemed I had won her over too, considering she invited me to Christmas dinner. At first I thought I was reading too much into it, but when Rhys sat beside me in the backseat, he looked over and blatantly admitted, “She loved you…I mean, loved you.”
“Yeah?” I questioned him.
“Without a doubt,” he paused. “Christmas dinner is sacred. She’s never let my sister, Lena, bring over a guy unless they’ve been together for at least a year.”
“I’m relieved. She was amazing, I can see where you get it.”
Rhys grew shy at my compliment and we rode in silence for a while. Just before getting to his house, he asked me, “Ellie, what are your plans for Christmas? I know it’s a while from now, but I have been wondering. I remember you mentioned you would stay if you went home for Thanksgiving. Is that still your plan?”
“I think so.” I looked over at him.
“Would you want to spend it with me? I was hoping we could stay at my house…I never get a tree. I’m usually out of town until the day before, but I’d love to get one and wake up together that morning.”
His eyes radiated innocence and hope, and I could tell he was nervous asking me. But what he didn’t know was how smitten I was with him, and the way he melted my heart whenever he asked sweet things like that. I could feel myself falling in love with him, sensing those sensational pangs in my heart that you get in the early stages of a relationship, the ones that make you wonder, could this be it? Rhys’ affection felt like a blanket surrounding me on a cold day, and he had managed to thaw the sadness that clouded me. Who in their right mind would say no to him; did he even think I could?
“I’d love to.”
His eyes lit up and he reached over to kiss me, stumbling in the back seat. It was short because his excitement spread to me and I pulled away to ask, “Can we get a real tree?”
“Yes, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“And ornaments together?”
“Yes,” he nodded enthusiastically. “So you’ll stay, for sure?”
“For sure.”
My words affected him and he pulled my hand against his lips to kiss it. Some of the lights from outside were shining in his glassy eyes and though it was hard to confirm in the darkness, I started believing that maybe Rhys was falling in love with me too. The stakes were getting higher, but I was too happy to worry about it.
∞
Things were going ridiculously well with Rhys. We were spending every weekend together, and he usually stayed at my flat once a week. We’d become comfortable in our new rhythm and hadn’t grown tired of each other either. If anything, it was never enough.
Considering our high spirits, and how strongly Rhys felt in being mine, I was taken aback to see that confidence falter the night before our trip. I grew excited to take him home, and had spoken with Anne and my mother to assure that they wouldn’t harass him or embarrass me. They knew all my secrets and I was terrified at the prospect of over-sharing on their behalf. But they promised to behave, especially my mother, who was impressed when I mentioned that Rhys would be sleeping in my room with me. She knew that we had been having sleepovers, and after I’d lived with Aaron she wasn’t under any false notions that I was a virgin. But I don’t think she expected me to be so confident with Rhys in their house.
I knew how worried he’d been too, but he also relished the idea of being the only guy to sleep in my room. It gave him this silly advantage over Aaron, and though he didn’t say it, I was aware he always felt second best to him. I just didn’t know how much till that night before our flight.
He had been showering as I printed our first class tickets, ones he had paid for, when he came out wrapped in a towel. I was used to seeing him like that, yet it still left me breathless and wanting every time. His body was strong and flawless, but his eyes were heavy, pensively empty in a way they hadn’t been before entering the bathroom. Rhys sat on my bed and pretended to check his email as I watched him from my side.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
I looked over to see him lifelessly release his phone. “I’m not sure,” he admitted.
“What is it?”
I expected him to tell me his stomach hurt, or that he was tired and had a headache, anything but what he actually felt. Rhys looked over with his lips pressed into a tight grimace. His shoulders seemed heavier as he collapsed his typically perfect posture, and after a deep breath he said, “As I showered, it hit me that I’m meeting your parents tomorrow. What if they don’t like me? What if they assume I’m some playboy taking advantage of your vulnerability?” He paused and stared down at his lap when he added, “What if I can’t compare to the boy who taught you how to love?”
His questions broke my heart. Rhys had never voiced concerns about comparisons or measuring up, but this was a side effect of dealing with my baggage. I’d subconsciously given him my memories by which to compare himself and he took it to heart, manifesting them all into this fear that suddenly became real.
My brain repeated his words multiple times, my heart tightening, aching every second as I observed his weakened features. He had shed that flawless poise I loved so much and replaced it with the most human quality - a fear that he wasn’t enough and a desire to be wanted.
“Rhys,” I grabbed his limp hand. “Where’s this coming from?”
He was seriously concerned; his eyes were filling with tears and I wondered if there was more behind the emotion. Was I not telling him often enough how highly I thought of him? Or was it stress pouring out since he’d finished the show? I didn’t let him answer and instead tried comforting him.
“Sweetheart, you have nothing to be afraid of. My parents will love you. My mom already adores you because she sees how happy you’ve made me. They’re not going to compare you to Aaron.” I paused for a second to gather my thoughts. “The truth of the matter is, you could never compare to Aaron because you’re on a whole other level. You’re not him, you’re Rhys and no one is comparing.”
“You compare me…” he whispered. It was so low I almost didn’t hear it, but I heard enough and he was breaking my heart continually without even knowing. I couldn’t blame him; I’d given him dozens of examples to justify his accusation, but he needed to understand it.
“I did at first,” I admitted. “I couldn’t help it, and it still happens now and then, but the longer I’m with you, the more I become yours. It may seem I’m comparing you, but that’s because you’ve never given me the need to conceal who I am. You allow me to share everything…Honestly, I need you to please trust me when I say you don’t compare. In some ways you’ve surpassed any expectation I had.”
“Really?” he looked up at me.
“Yes, I promise. Do you believe me?”
I put my laptop aside and pressed my mouth to his, lying beside him. He nodded against my lips and pressed into me even further, lying atop me in the bed. It could have been extremely sexual with just a few movements, but his face was in my neck as he took deep, sad breaths. I could feel his apprehension in the way he gripped me. In an effort to calm him, I ran my fingers through his damp
hair in the hope that he would open up and let me help him for once.
After a few minutes, he did.
“I’m not trying to freak you out. I just panicked in there…I’ve met girls’ parents before, but it’s different with you. Everything is more important…you’re important and I want to get it right.”
“Remember how you helped me relax before meeting your mum? You told me to trust you.”
“Yeah,” he nodded against my shoulder.
“Then trust me when I say my parents will love you, and Anne, she’s going to try to steal you and have your babies.”
He laughed softly against my skin with little puffs of air coming out, and then he got up to get ready for bed. It took him a while to fall asleep, even though I’d rubbed his back and read to him. Eventually though, he dozed off leaving his worries for later. I couldn’t believe that he had suddenly become troubled about meeting my parents, but then I considered that maybe he felt that way the entire time and hid it from me. I rubbed his wavy hair for a little while longer as I caught up on emails on my phone. I’d been looking through older ones and came across one of James’ from months before. We hadn’t spoken since Paris and I decided to reveal that I was coming home again, and that Rhys was coming as well. It would be awkward, but I wanted to be truthful with him.
Me: I know you said you needed distance, and then I got your impolite text, but I wanted you to hear from me that Rhys and I are coming home for Thanksgiving. Hope you’re well.
I hit send and went to bed knowing I wouldn’t get a reply.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Our flight was smooth and the closer we got to my parents’ house Rhys seemed to loosen up. On the car ride from the airport I asked him what had changed and couldn’t believe his answer. He told me that during the flight he watched me sleeping and realized how lucky he was. Rhys said that if I could rise from my past and learn to trust, that he had to trust life as well. That he thought he’d lose me when the show began, and then almost did when I came home. But in bringing him with me this time, he’d come to his senses realizing that I wanted him around, and that was all that mattered. And I did. I couldn’t contain myself as I showed him personal landmarks on my way home and only grew nervous when we stood at the front door.
For Both Are Infinite (Hearts in London Book 1) Page 22