The Fragile Fall

by Love, Kristy

  “He’s going to George Mason.”

  I lifted my head up to look at Will, astonished. “What?”

  “Yeah, he wants to stay close to home too.”

  “You guys will be around next year?” I wiped at my face.

  “Yeah, you mean too much to us for us to leave you behind, even if you are crazy sometimes.” He kissed my nose and then my forehead. “You won’t be alone. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. I love you, Ryanne. I’m in it forever with you.”

  I crushed my lips to his and wrapped my arms around his neck, gripping his hair. He wrapped his arms around me again, one hand on my back, the other on the back of my head. The longer we kissed, the more I needed to feel him. I ran my hands over his skin. He pushed a hand up my shirt and traced the bottom of my bra. I pulled away and raised my arms above my head. He slowly moved his hands to my shirt and pulled it off.

  He sucked in a breath as his eyes devoured me. “You are so, so beautiful, Ry.”

  I collided with him, feeling his warm skin against mine. We continued kissing and touching until I was dizzy. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his hips. He carried me upstairs and laid me on his bed, drinking me in with his eyes. Smiling at me, he ran his hands up my thighs and to the button of my jeans, peeling them off me, then he climbed on top of me and kissed me. His hand slid between my legs and I cried out as he pushed into me.

  He chuckled against my breast. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  “I need to feel you, Will,” I said, desperate for more. He opened a drawer and pulled a condom out and then rolled it on. His hand ran down my side and to my leg, pulling it around his hips. When he finally sunk deep inside of me, I felt complete. I moved my hips, hoping to urge him on, and he moved. I wrapped myself around him and relished in the beauty that was the two of us.

  Everything was perfect.

  Ryanne

  I HAD NO IDEA WHERE my pants were or how my phone vibrating somewhere on the floor woke me, but I was awake. Will was pressed against my back, an arm around my waist and a leg draped over mine, his face pressed against my neck.

  Gently, I lifted Will’s arm and moved it to the side, then nudged his leg off me. He rolled onto his back, allowing me to climb off the bed. I quickly located my jeans on the floor and found my phone. It had stopped ringing, so I looked to see who called—Jax. Quickly, I located all my clothes and threw them on, except my shirt. No matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t find it. Then I remembered it was in the kitchen. I crept out of Will’s room, hoping Liv hadn’t come home and that Will would stay asleep.

  I tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen. I found my shirt and pulled it on as I dialed Jax’s number. He picked up after two rings.

  “Where are you?” he asked.

  “I’m at Will’s. Where are you?”

  “I’m at home. I’ve been waiting for you to get home and I was afraid you had left again.”

  Looking at the clock, I saw that it was almost midnight. I had gotten to Will’s a little after three. “I’m sorry, Jax. I’ll be home, okay?”

  “Okay. I’m sorry I called. I was just worried.”

  “No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have stayed over here so long. I just fell asleep. I didn’t mean to worry you.” I found my shoes and slipped them on. I tried hard to keep my voice at a whisper, but it was difficult. I hated that my recent behavior had caused Jax to think I would abandon him too.

  I went back to my house and found Jax on the couch, his hands fisted in his hair. When he saw me, he blew out a long breath and his shoulders relaxed. I sat next to him on the couch and pulled him into me.

  “I’m not ever going to abandon you, Jax. You are my brother and my only family. I’m always going to be here for you.”

  “I was so scared when you were gone, Ry. I’m so sorry that I never told you about the letter and the journal, but I knew it would crush you. I’ve been a wreck since I found it. I didn’t want to keep it from you, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  With Jax’s rough exterior, he had such a gentle and loving heart. It was easy to forget that he had been abandoned too and suffered the same insecurities as I did. “It’s okay. It’s over and done and I forgive you.”

  “Dad and I had a fight after you left.”

  “About what?”

  His shoulders shook and I felt a tear drop onto my arm. “I told him I wanted to contact Mom. I wanted to hear her side of the story and he told me if I contacted her that I might as well be dead to him.”

  “Oh, Jax…” I ran my hand over his back. “Is that something you really want to do? To contact Mom?”

  “I want to hear what she has to say. I want to know why she turned to drugs after we were born.” He sniffled. “What do you think?”

  “I think it’d be good. Even if we don’t strike up a relationship with her, I think it would give us closure and help us understand how everything fell apart.”

  “Should we write her back?”

  “Yeah. Not tonight, but in the next couple days, okay?”

  He nodded and sat up, wiping his face. He looked so sad and vulnerable. It broke my heart.

  The next morning, my phone rang and my alarm blared. After how late I got home from Will’s the night before and spending time with Jax, I hadn’t gone to bed until late and I was exhausted. I rubbed my eyes then turned my alarm off. I reached for my phone and answered it.

  “Hello?” I said, my voice thick with sleep.

  “Hey, I missed you this morning,” Will said, warming my insides and making me lighter. I snuggled deeper into my bed, happy that Will had called.

  “Yeah, sorry. Jax called and wasn’t in good shape.”

  I heard his covers rustle as he moved on his bed. “Is everything okay?”

  “I’m not sure, but I hope it will be.”

  “Do you need anything?”

  “Nope. Well, you, but you have school today and I have class and I don’t think it would be a good idea to blow those off for what I have in mind.”

  He chuckled. “I’m not sure if I agree with you.”

  “It wouldn’t be responsible.”

  “Responsibility is overrated.”

  I laughed. The last few weeks I had missed Will so much and it was good to be joking with him and talking to him. “It may be, but you only have two months left of high school.”

  “I can’t wait to be done with high school. I feel too old to be in high school still.”

  “You have been through a lot.”

  “I guess so.” More rustling came through the phone and Will sighed. “Well, I guess I better be responsible and get ready for school. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay since you had disappeared when I woke up.”

  “It was probably better. I was afraid Liv would have seen me and had a heart attack.”

  “You’re probably right. I’ll see you later.”

  “I love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  It was Friday and movie night. Jax and I hadn’t talked about writing to our mother since he brought it up. Part of me wanted to write to her and another part of me was afraid of more rejection. I didn’t want to blow it off if it was important to Jax though., but it was so damned difficult.

  Jax’s dad hadn’t been home since I found out he wasn’t my dad. I honestly didn’t know when to ever expect to see him again, but I figured it was best this way. Neither Jax nor I wanted anything to do with him.

  I was waiting for Will to come over so we could watch a movie, so I put my iPhone into the docking station and turned the volume up as I danced around the kitchen. I was wiping down the counter when warm, strong arms wound around my waist and I was pulled against a hard body.

  “Hi, beautiful.”

  He spun me in his arms until we were pressed against each other. He moved his face close to mine. “I’ve missed you so much.” Before I could respond, his lips were on mine and my fingers were tangled in his hair. My heart danced against my rib cage. He pu
lled away and smiled at me again.

  “Hi.” One side of his mouth quirked up and my breath came faster as the world disappeared around me.

  “Hi.”

  He chuckled softly. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m good.” I tried to stabilize myself. “How about you?”

  “I’m perfect now.” He lowered his face into my neck and feathered kisses along it. Everything inside of me clenched and my heart beat so hard, I couldn’t hear anything but its constant beat. I closed my eyes and held him closer. I wanted this feeling to last forever. This was all I needed.

  The front door opened and the sound of a jacket being thrown was like a siren. Will and I jumped away from each other quickly like we were on fire. “Honey, I’m home!” Jax called from the entry way. I tried to slow my breathing and compose myself. Will turned and leaned on the counter, facing away from Jax. I felt the heat in my cheeks as Jax walked into the kitchen. “Shit, don’t tell me I interrupted something.”

  “No, we were just catching up,” I said, turning back to the counter and wiping it down.

  “What movie are we watching tonight?” Jax asked.

  Will inhaled deeply and let it out. He turned around to face Jax. “We hadn’t gotten that far yet.”

  “What’s taking so long?” Jax’s eyebrows raised while grinning knowingly at us.

  “What do you want, Jax? I thought you were going to be out with friends tonight,” I said, suddenly pissed.

  “Take it easy, Ryanne. Is it so wrong for a guy to want to spend time with his best friend and his best sister?” I wanted to slap the smug look off his face. At the same time, I realized he was still dealing with the revelations from our dad.

  “It’s fine,” I said, not knowing what the hell Jax was doing here or how to deal with this. “Why don’t you go pick the movie?”

  “Awesome.” He turned and left the kitchen.

  “I wanted it to be just the two of us,” I said as I rested my head against Will. He wrapped my arms around him.

  “Another day.” He pulled me close to him and we went into the living room. Jax already had a movie in and turned it on as soon as Will and I sat down.

  During the movie, I stayed curled up with Will. He rested his cheek against the top of my head. When he laughed, I could feel it move through my hair. Jax talked through most of the movie, making comments or jokes which was unusual because he was usually quiet and required that were too.

  After the movie was over, Jax stood and stretched, scratching his stomach. “That was hilarious. I’m going to head to bed. See you guys later.”

  “He never shut up,” Will said as soon as Jax left the room. “I have no idea what happened because it was impossible to hear over him.” Will stood and pulled me with him. “I have to get home. I promised Aunt Liv I wouldn’t be out too late.” He kissed me. “See you later, sweet girl.”

  He left and I felt alone.

  The next morning, Jax came into my room with a notebook and a pen. “Can we write this letter now?” he asked as he sat on my bed.

  “Sure.”

  “Your writing is prettier. Can you write it?”

  I smiled gently. “Sure.” He handed me the notebook.

  We spent the next several hours making at least a dozen drafts of the letter. We disagreed over how serious to make it—I wanted to keep it light and see how it went, but Jax wanted to be a little more forceful and ask for her to meet up with us. Eventually, we met in the middle..

  Dear Leslie,

  Thank you for writing us. We would like to talk to you so we could understand what happened. If you would like to pursue a relationship, please send us your phone number so we can call you.

  Sincerely,

  Ryanne and Jaxon

  It wasn’t long, but we didn’t want to put too much out there. The chance for rejection was too high.

  I sealed the envelope and put it in the mailbox.

  Now we waited.

  Will

  DR. THOMAS SAT ACROSS FROM ME, a pad of paper in her lap. “You seem to be doing well,” she said, peering at me over his glasses.

  “I am.” I smiled.

  “You’re almost done with high school. How do you feel about that?”

  “Good. I’m ready to be done.”

  She chuckled. “I’m sure you are. What are your plans after you graduate?”

  “I’m going to college in the fall. I’ve decided to live in the dorms for at least a year. I want to experience a bit more freedom before I make any rash decisions.”

  “That sounds like a smart plan. Take time to figure out you before you jump into anything else.”

  “That’s the plan.”

  “How does your aunt feel about you moving out for the school year?”

  “She’s a little sad to see me go, but she’s supportive. I’m surprised how quickly she got used to having someone else living with her after so many years alone.”

  “She loves you.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I knew without a doubt that Aunt Liv loved me. She had shown it over and over again, and not by sheltering me and controlling my every move. She showed me that she trusted me enough to let me experience some freedom and she was always there for me when I needed someone. Somehow, I was lucky enough to have her.

  “I think now that you are doing so well and you seem to be stable, you don’t need to come in as often as you have been. You can come in once a week now and we’ll see how that goes. We still have some work to do, but your progress has been great. How does that sound?”

  “It sounds good.”

  “Great.”

  We scheduled my appointment for the following week and I left.

  Ryanne answered the door, looking unbelievably sexy in sweatpants, a T-shirt, and her hair thrown up into a messy ponytail. Her face lit up in a smile as soon as she saw me.

  “Hey, Will. What’s up?”

  I didn’t answer her, crushing my lips and body against her, devouring her in a kiss. When I finally pulled away, her eyes were hooded and glassy, her lips swollen from our kiss as she panted.

  “Thank you for saving me, Ry. Thank you for loving me even when I was too broken to love you back. Thank you.” I crushed her to me in a hug and held her, not ever wanting to let go.

  Ryanne

  I GOT THE MAIL AND walked into the house. The usual bills and credit card offers were in there, of course, but one envelope caused my heart to jump into my throat. I set it on the counter, deciding to wait for Jax to open it. Luckily, it would only take about twenty minutes for him to get home. I tried to keep myself busy, but it felt as if the letter was calling my name.

  The front door opened and I raced to pick up the letter. Jax was taking his shoes off as I almost crashed into him.

  “She wrote us back!”

  “What?”

  “She wrote us back.”

  “I heard you the first time, I’m just shocked.”

  We both stared at the envelope.

  “Have you read it?” Jax whispered.

  “I was waiting for you.”

  “Then open it.”

  “I’m not sure I can.”

  “Do you want me to?”

  I handed him the letter, and he ripped it open. “Dear Ryanne and Jax, thank you so much for writing me back. After the months and months of silence, I feared I would never hear from you. I have no right, but it broke my heart to think I would never get to talk to you. My number is 571-555-2222. Please give me a call whenever you want. I’d love to hear from you. Love, Mom.”

  “Holy shit … let’s call her now.”

  “Okay.” Jax pulled his phone out of his pocket and slowly dialed the number. He put it on speaker phone as it rang.

  “Hello?” a woman answered.

  “Is this Leslie?” Jax asked.

  “Yes, who is this?”

  Jax cleared his throat. “This is Jax and Ryanne.”

  She gasped, then burst into tears and cried for a few moments before pulling h
erself together. “I’m sorry. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

  “We would have written sooner, but our dad hid the letters you had written.”

  “Ryanne?”

  “Yeah, it’s me.”

  Hearing my voice prompted another round of tears. “I’m sorry. This is just too good to be true. I should have realized your dad would hide the letters.” She sniffled. “Is there anything you want to ask me?”

  “We have a lot of questions,” Jax said. “What happened that my dad kicked you out?”

  I closed my eyes and listened to her voice.

  “Dan met me when I was pregnant with Ryanne. I wasn’t in a good place before we met., and I think in the beginning he was in love with the idea of saving me. We didn’t date long before we were married and then a few months later, I gave birth. Things were good. I thought it was amazing how well my life had worked out with how messed up I had been. But after I got pregnant with Jax, Dan started working long hours and taking long business trips. Before I knew it, I was left home alone with a newborn and a two-year-old for weeks at a time. I’m not proud of it, but I caved.”

  “What do you mean, caved?” I asked.

  “I started using again. One day, your dad came home from work and saw me strung out. He didn’t give me a chance to even get clean, just hauled me out to the sidewalk and told me to never come back. I tried to get in touch with you both, but he changed his phone number and the locks on the house.”

  A mix of anger and sadness washed through me. Jax’s dad had made it sound like he had given my mom a lot of chances to get better, but really, he hadn’t given her a chance at all.

  “I found out that the neighbor was watching you both while your dad worked, so I tried to visit you both there, but she wouldn’t let me. As soon as your dad found out, he switched sitters. I should have gotten clean and gone to court, but I couldn’t give the drugs up, so I stopped trying. I’m so sorry. You will never know how sorry I am that I didn’t fight harder for you both.”

  Jax and I stared at each other. There was so much more to the story than Jax’s dad had ever led us to believe. I could tell our mom regretted her actions and decisions. Her voice was full of remorse. It made me hate Jax’s dad even more than I already did.