by T. K. Rapp
“I know,” I answered. “It’s amazing. And his mom and dad are such sweet people.”
“You met his parents?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“It was just briefly. We went to their house while they were gone for the morning,” I answered as a way of explanation.
I could see the light dimming her in eyes and I hurried to fix my gaffe.
“It was more of a dare than anything. It wasn’t like he was trying to introduce me to his family or anything. But really, I think you need to tell him how you feel. What if he doesn’t know?”
The words wouldn’t stop coming. I sounded overly excited, bordering on crazy. Thank God Jolie wasn’t there; she would have seen through my lies in a second.
“Or what if he feels the same way?” I asked when she didn’t speak.
When the last question came out of my mouth, I felt like I’d sucker punched myself.
He can’t feel the same way.
I don’t want him to feel the same way.
“Do you think he could?” she asked me hopefully.
“You never know,” I said, swallowing past the lump that formed in my throat. “But I can tell you, regret will eat you up. I know from experience.”
She had no idea the experience I was referencing was the regret I felt at that very moment at the fact that I was encouraging her to pursue someone that I continued to deny having my own feelings for. And it was my own fault that I’d only realized it when I pushed her.
Emma was smiling so big that I didn’t have the heart to tell her I wanted to take it all back. I liked her. She was sweet and funny…and clearly loved Wyatt. If there was a chance they could actually work out and be happy, I wanted that for him. For both of them.
“Thanks, Viola,” she said as she threw her arms around me and squeezed. “Wyatt told me how amazing you are and I see he was right.”
“He did?”
“Yeah. That’s why I thought you two would end up together. But I didn’t realize you two were just friends.”
“Yeah. Friends,” I repeated. The word tasted bitter in my mouth, but I had no one else to blame.
“Since you two are so close,” she paused and looked around briefly, “do you think you can talk to him?”
“Me?” I asked, panicked. “No, this needs to come from you…I think it would be weird if I said something.”
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Just maybe give him a hint or something. I’ll talk to him, I promise, but if you could just prep him?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
She smiled and I knew I would regret my visit. I already did.
“I better get over there and help Busy.” She stood up and put her apron back on, and together we walked to the front of the shop.
“I need to go. I have some calls to make for work,” I said as I walked to the door. “Good luck.”
For the first time since I’d moved to L.A., I wanted to be anywhere else. I forced a smile and exited before she could identify the disappointment and fear in my eyes.
In my defense, I had been genuine in my initial efforts to help her out. And I never thought that I’d be ready only months after finding Will with someone else. Granted, I wasn’t really sure I was actually ready, but the fact that I was jealous of someone else’s feelings for Wyatt was more than I was prepared to feel.
As I was walking home, I pulled out my phone and found Dani’s information. Strange that it was only recently I was giving her advice about how to proceed with Tabor, and now here I was in need of similar help. I knew what I wanted to hear, but only my truest friends would tell me what I needed to hear.
“I think I just fucked up,” I said as soon as Dani answered her phone.
“What did you do?” she asked exasperatedly.
“It’s Wyatt.”
“The guy you like but won’t admit you like?”
“Ah…you’ve been talking to Jo.”
“Of course I have! It’s not like you ever tell me anything,” she laughed. “So what’s up?”
“I’ve done a pretty good job of pushing him away and telling him that I’m not available.”
“Okay, that much I know. So what else is new?”
“I went to his store today and talked to one of his employees. I got the impression last week that she actually has feelings for him. And well…”
“You didn’t! Please, Vi, tell me you didn’t encourage this woman to go after him.”
“I did,” I groaned. “It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. But then as we talked, of course I realized that I was full of shit and I did have feelings for him. But what kind of person does that? I can’t befriend her and urge her to pursue him, only to swoop in and ruin it for her. That’s not fair.”
“All’s fair in love and sexy men.”
I laughed. “That’s not the saying, but still, what have I done?”
“Your intentions were honorable. But it’s not like you’re supposed to talk to the guy and help set it all up, right?” Sometimes, I swear my old roommates could read my mind. When I didn’t answer, she spoke up. “Right?”
“Emma is really sweet and she’s apparently liked him since he took over the store. He sees her as a sister, he told me so himself, but she’s been head over heels for the guy for a long time.”
“And why is this your problem? You need to just go over there and tell her you can’t do it.”
“Dani,” I groaned as I raked my hand over my face. “I’m so screwed.”
“Yes you are,” she conceded. “Look, if you’re really set on doing this, then I can’t stop you. But…I can at least help you so you’re not watching the new romance unfold before your eyes.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Give me a day or so and I’ll get back to you,” she said. I heard Tabor’s voice in her silence and knew she was going to leave me hanging. “I gotta go, but we’ll talk soon, okay?”
“No, wait…just tell me.”
“Love you,” Dani answered quickly, hanging up the phone.
I walked into my apartment, thankful I was alone, and disappeared into my room. The fact that I’d backed myself into a corner pissed me off. But I deserved it. My phone was still in my hand and I looked down at it, wondering why I was about to send the text I was dreading. But before I could talk myself out of it, I sent him a message.
Me: Can we talk when you get off work?
Wyatt: Yeah. My place or yours?
Me: Here is good. Jolie has a date tonight.
Wyatt: I’ll see you then.
***
It was after ten when I heard him knock on the door. I had been excited to see him but anxious knowing what I was going to say. I was wearing my long cotton pajama pants and tank, my hair still wet from my shower. I had debated putting on some makeup, but impressing Wyatt wasn’t the mission.
“Hey,” he said when he walked in. “Did I wake you?”
“No. Just watching TV. C’mon in.”
He followed me to the couch and sat down as I muted the television. He was watching me get settled, his smile still in place while I tucked my feet beneath me.
“So what’s up?” he asked.
“It’s nothing bad, I just need to talk to you about something.”
“Okay. Shoot.” He grinned.
“I was at the coffee shop earlier today and I had a talk with Emma.”
He relaxed into the couch and nodded, so I continued—or rather rambled.
“I don’t even know how it came up. I mean, I was there the other day and she said something to me. It was weird and I mean, I was thinking about it and then it bothered me.”
“She said something to upset you?” he asked, leaning forward, a pinch creasing his forehead.
“No. Nothing like that,” I corrected quickly.
“But something she said bothered you?”
I ran my hand over my face and closed my eyes. I hated what I was about to do, but I’d painted myself into a corner.
�
�Let me try this again,” I sighed. “The night I went to look for you on open mic night…”
“The night you kissed me?” he reminded me with a smirk.
“Yeah…that night,” I answered. “She seemed short with me and made a comment that stuck with me. So I went to see her today and confirmed my suspicions.”
“And that would be?”
“Are you blind?” I asked. “Wyatt, the woman apparently has feelings for you. As in, that’s the reason she works there. She’s liked you for a while.”
Wyatt shook his head in disbelief and moved closer to me.
“Emma’s a good friend. Nothing more, nothing less,” he said assuredly as he placed his hand over my two that I didn’t realize I was wringing. It was comforting and sweet, and completely wrong. I pulled my hands away and stood up to walk around the small space.
When I stopped moving, I faced him and pushed down the part of me that was fighting to speak and tell him that I felt something too.
“I don’t know how you’ve missed it, but I think you two owe it to yourselves to see if there’s something there.”
Wyatt stood up and walked over to me, placing his hands on my arms. He bent slightly so we were forced to look into each other’s eyes and remained quiet for a moment.
“I thought we’d finally made some progress,” he said and I closed my eyes, fighting back the threat of tears.
More than you know.
“Was I wrong? I guess I thought you were letting me in.”
You snuck in when I wasn’t looking. I don’t want you with her or with anyone else.
I opened my eyes and smiled sadly. “Wyatt…”
“Don’t say it,” he said, dropping his hands from me.
“I don’t want you to miss out on someone who could be good for you.”
“You could be good for me. Hell, if you’d just get out of your head long enough to see it.”
“It wouldn’t be fair for me to lead you on and I just need to sort myself out.”
“How much time do you need? A week? A month? A year? How long do you need to before you stop pushing me away?”
“It’s not like that.”
“You can stop. It’s all bullshit anyway. You and I both know it. You’re so busy hiding behind what went wrong in your life and making excuses that you’re missing out on what could be right.”
“You don’t know me enough to say that I’m right for you.”
“Well, are we, or are we not, friends?” he asked, sneering when he said the last word. “Because according to you, we’re at least that.”
“Of course we are.”
“Then I think it’s safe to say that you’re wrong, because I do know you. I know that you love music…”
“Only because I told you that.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me that it kills you not to write anymore. I can see it every time you watch someone perform at the coffee shop. And I see the way you look at me, and then I see the fear that follows. You want more, but you’re afraid of it.”
“Do you hear yourself?” I argued as believably as I could.
“Am I wrong?”
“Yes! You’re so completely wrong, because you don’t know me. I won’t let you.”
The hurt that flashed in his eyes was unmistakable, and I’d done that to him. I’d hurt him with my words, but I couldn’t take them back. They were already out there.
“Wyatt, I love you. I do,” I said, and I meant it. I loved him and Dallas and Callie as if I’d always known them. “You’re an amazing—”
“Don’t say it,” he pleaded.
“—friend,” I finished. “I’m so lucky to have all of you. You have all helped me through a really bad time and I don’t think I can ever repay you. I just want you to be happy.”
I felt the familiar burn of tears, but I controlled my breathing and fought against them. I’d started the conversation and I planned to see it through.
“All right,” he said. He walked toward the door and stopped near the kitchen, looking back at me. “Just so you know, I wasn’t in any rush.”
His words stung deep in my chest. I’m not sure what I expected from Wyatt, but his hurt, anger, disappointment—whatever that was—was not it. I wanted to shake him, to make him listen to me, but he was right: I was hiding behind a book of clichés with nothing to say that he wanted to hear, and I couldn’t take it back.
So I let him go.
Chapter 17
Dani called me that night to check on me, and despite the ache in the pit of my stomach, I was fine. At least that’s what I tried to tell myself. I knew that Wyatt would be irritated with me for a while, but I was certain we’d be able to maintain our friendship.
I planned to avoid the coffee shop for a few days, just to let all the weirdness blow over. But there was another reason…Emma. I didn’t want to see her and listen to her gush about what might be going on between them. Before I knew it, a few days turned into a week, and a week became two.
It was a Thursday morning, and I was running late for work. Mr. Bateman had to be in court early, and even though he’d told me I could have the morning off, I figured I’d find some busy work in the office to keep me occupied.
I was about to leave my apartment when Dallas walked in and grabbed my hand, taking me to the couch.
“I was just leaving.”
“I need a favor,” he said as soon as we sat down.
“You okay?”
“I met a guy.” He smiled.
Jolie darted out of her room and joined us on the couch. Her hair was dripping water down her shoulders and she hugged the towel against her.
“Who is he?” she asked.
“Okay, well, I don’t really know. I was at Mood Swings the other night with some friends and he was bartending.”
“You have friends other than us?” Jolie gasped dramatically.
“Ignore her,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Did you at least talk to him?”
“You do know me, right?”
“I do,” I answered. “So you talked to him, and then what happened?”
“I told him I’d be back because my friends were waiting on me. But when I went back, he was gone. The other bartender said that he got some phone call and had to leave.”
“So what’s the favor?”
“Are you two busy tonight?”
“Not if you need us,” I answered. “What’s up?”
“He wants to go back there and see if he can find the guy,” Jolie answered for him, smiling and nodding. “And yes, we’ll be there.”
“Great. I’ll check to see if Callie’s up for it,” he said as he stood up. “I’ll see you two later.”
As quickly as he appeared, he was gone, leaving me with Jolie. I started to stand to leave when she grabbed my hand and pulled me back down.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I’m good. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“I’m fine,” I said. “Running late, but fine.”
“When are you going to face Wyatt?”
“Jo, we’re not going to do this right now. I need to get to the office, and everything is fine with Wyatt.”
“And when was the last time you saw him?”
Every day.
But I wasn’t about to admit that out loud.
“I’ve just been really busy,” I said, walking to the counter to grab my keys.
“If you say so.”
“It’s not that big a deal,” I huffed.
“The hell it’s not. You like the guy and you do the nice thing and give him away?”
“He wasn’t mine to give away, Jo. We’re friends. And Emma asked me to talk to him, so I did. The rest was on him.”
Still holding her towel up, she walked over to where I stood and hugged me. She pressed my head to her shoulder and patted my head.
“What are you doing?” I asked with a laugh.
She pulled away and made a mocking sad face. “Clearly this is all harder for you than
I thought.”
“You’re such a shit.” I smirked.
“I’m serious,” she answered. “I don’t get you. With Will, I get it: he fucked up. And okay, maybe you needed time, but Wyatt is sexy, he’s sweet, he actually likes you…”
“Thanks for that,” I said dryly.
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do. And now I’m really late. I need to get to work. Can we table this…or, rather, not talk about it at all?”
I started to walk out the door and realized I’d forgotten to look out the peephole before stepping out into the hallway. She had no idea the steps I’d taken to avoid the guy I’d only recently realized I really liked. A lot.
Jolie grabbed the door and called my name before I shut it, so I turned to face her.
“What?” I asked, feigning annoyance.
“Oh. Nothing,” she looked past me and smiled as she shut the door. “Hi, Wyatt. Bye, Wyatt.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before facing him. I plastered a smile on my face and spun around.
“Hey, Earp,” I said a little too cheerily. “Where have you been?”
“Could ask you the same thing.” He smiled. “You haven’t been by the shop lately.”
I started to walk down the hall and he followed.
“Yeah, it’s been really crazy at work.”
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”
“Oh?” I stopped moving and turned to face him.
“You doing okay?”
“Yeah.” I smiled so wide it hurt my cheeks, and probably looked incredibly creepy. “You? How’s it going with Emma?”
My stomach churned at the question and I wanted to take it back. But I’d always had a problem with keeping my mouth shut.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
I started walking, and again, he followed. “Can we talk later? I’m running so late. Dallas came by earlier and asked me and Jo to go out with him tonight, and made me leave later than normal.”
“You’re going with him tonight? Help him snag the bartender, huh?” He laughed.
“Yeah, I hear that’s the mission.”
And just like that, things were easy and normal with Wyatt. That was something I really admired about him.