Taste the Heat

by Rachel Harris

  He wasn’t an idiot. He knew Angelle had her own reasons for joining the class. Her completely unrequited crush was becoming a hassle at work, and he’d done everything he could to let her down gently. But he rarely had female members take his class. They joined the gym for the cardio equipment, or signed up for aerobics. That class was great—hell, he’d hired the best—but this could offer so much more.

  An idea came to him, and Jason smiled. “Sure,” he said, tossing the towel into his bag. “But let’s take it a step further. We can actually apply the same principles to sexual assault defense. I offer a seminar every few months based on something I got from Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, but the basics align with this class, too. Get down on the mat, I’ll show you.”

  A blush stole across Angelle’s pale skin as she sank to the ground. “Yes, sir.”

  He held back a sigh as he joined her. This woman certainly stretched him as an instructor. But if he could cut through her misguided attempts at flirtation and find a way to empower her, then it would all be worth it.

  “In a real life assault,” he began, “a predator has one objective: to control you. Your goal is to convince him he’s done just that. If you can get him to relax his grip for one moment, you have a shot of escape. This class is about defense at all costs, and employing deception is a big part of that. Feigning surrender is a valuable tactic. So you’re gonna learn it. Get in position.”

  Angelle’s blush spread as she bent her knees and spread them apart. Jason glanced at the door. It was wishful thinking that Cane would suddenly appear, fresh from the shower in the locker room. This was something his friend would love to help with, but it looked as though Cane was taking his sweet-ass time—and this skill was important.

  Sliding between her bent knees, Jason locked Angelle’s hips between his elbows and slipped his hands around her shoulders. Pretending not to notice her sharp intake of breath, he instructed, “Now, try to shrimp out.”

  She gave a few halfhearted attempts. “I can’t. I couldn’t get it in class, either.”

  Her voice was winded. He hoped that at least a part of that was from her sense of fight or flight kicking in. That was what he loved about teaching. Giving people a chance to experience real-life scenarios in a safe environment…and hopefully learn lessons they’d never have to use.

  “I outweigh you by a hundred pounds,” he told her, sitting on his heels. “It’s almost impossible for you to escape. But I couldn’t do much in that position, either. To assault you, I’d need to back up a bit. I’m not going to do that, though, until I feel a shift in power.” As Jason spoke, her eyes lowered to his mouth. Biting off a growl of frustration, he asked sharply, “So what’s gonna make me loosen my grip, Angelle?”

  Annoyance tightened her mouth. But when her gaze lifted, he could tell he’d gotten through to her. Her eyes narrowed in thought. “When you think I’ve given up?”

  “You got it.” At her pleased smile, he went on. “A predator waits until he feels you’ve given up the fight. That moment you realize he’s in control and you stop defending yourself. You go limp, and he gains complete control. Does that make sense?”

  She nodded, and Jason could feel the shift in the air. She was in student mode now, and he did a mental fist pump.

  “If you’re in a position you can’t get out of, it’s your job to convince the attacker that he’s accomplished his mission,” he said. “That the fight has left you. That it’s okay for him to relax his grip and move on from subduing you to the actual assault. Most victims, when they truly believe all hope is lost, stop fighting, hoping it’ll just end soon. You’re going to pretend you’ve reached that point.”

  “How?”

  “You tell him that you give up,” Jason answered. “Say you’ll do whatever he wants. You pretend to give him the power he craves by asking him not to hurt you, and you stop struggling. That’s key, because if your actions don’t match your words, he won’t believe it.”

  Angelle’s head tilted. Her gaze sharpened and her mouth scrunched. Avid curiosity replaced every trace of breathless coquettishness when she asked, “So I don’t even try to hit him?”

  “Oh hell yeah. You’re gonna do some damage, you’re just gonna wait until he believes you’ve given up, however long that takes. Once you feel the grip on your hips lessen, you shrimp out. You shove your foot against his hip and push away, increasing the distance, as you kick him in the face, hit, slap, do whatever you have to do to get free and get the hell out of there.”

  A spark lit her green eyes and he knew she was imagining herself doing just that. With a sense of pride welling in his chest, Jason let his words sink in for another moment, then he said, “Now I’m gonna lean down again, trying to pin you. I want you to do everything I said. Pretend this is a real life situation. Kick my ass,” he added with a grin. “Are you ready?”

  A fierce look of determination crossed her face. “Yes, sir.”

  Immediately, Jason clamped his hands around her shoulders. Below him, Angelle thrashed. She shoved and grunted, trying to free herself even though they both knew it was futile. Then, as discussed, her struggle started tapering off. She went limp in his arms. As the attacker, Jason looked into her eyes, sizing her up to see if the power shift was real.

  In character, Angelle’s eyes softened as she placed her hands on his shoulders. “Please, I’ll do whatever you want. Just—”

  “Oh my God!”

  At the sound of Colby’s voice, the lesson was forgotten. Jason pushed back on his heels, hungry to see her face. He’d been thinking about her all day. His hands had twitched, wanting to touch her. And here she was.

  Damn, she looked good.

  “Baby, what are you—”

  “Don’t you dare baby me,” she spat, freezing inside the door. She thrust her fingers through her hair, and Jason stiffened. Her hands were shaking.

  Jumping up, his feet ate the distance between them as his arms reached out to hold her. When she flinched from his touch, a cold prickle of apprehension wrapped around his neck. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “I said, don’t baby me.” Eyes wide, she looked at him as if she’d never seen him before. “You’re just like all the rest of them, aren’t you?”

  He didn’t understand. “What?” Her eyes flicked to the mat behind him, and a fist of fear sank in his gut. The confidence he’d held all week drained away.

  “Colby, Angelle’s one of my students,” he explained, knowing even as he did that it made no difference. From the look in her eyes, it was clear she’d already made up her mind.

  Her eyebrows lifted. “Angelle?” Nodding as if something suddenly made sense, she asked, “The girl you and Cane were talking about at the restaurant. The one who inspired that weird look between you?”

  That look had been because Cane was interested in his recruit and Jason hadn’t wanted to bring her up around Colby. In hindsight, maybe that had been a mistake. But before he could even begin to explain that, she said incredulously, “So my brother knows about you two?”

  He laughed, but the sound was far from amused. Just this morning he and Colby had made love. Twice. Then he’d given her the day without distraction so she could think. Every time he’d wanted to call, he had restrained himself. He had been so damn sure that after their night together, she’d realize that she was falling in love with him, too. That he’d call her during his shift tomorrow or pick her up on Monday and she’d be ready to start the rest of their lives.

  But his plan had failed. Nothing he’d done the past few weeks had made a bit of difference. The fact that this situation could be completely innocent wasn’t even a blip on her radar. She was too busy acting as though she’d walked in on them fucking on the floor.

  “Yeah, Cane knows Angelle,” he said. “He knows that she works at the station. That she’s a student here. He is too, if you remember. He’s even here now, somewhere. If that had been your brother on the ground, would you be freaking out?”

  Colby glared, and Jason
knew that wasn’t fair. She’d been upfront about her hang-ups. And truth be told, if the situation were reversed, he wouldn’t be thrilled either. But she was refusing to listen to reason.

  A soft cough and movement had him turning back to Angelle. Honestly, he’d almost forgotten she was still there. She looked between them as she pushed to her feet, her face taut with guilt. “I-I’m so sorry,” she stammered. “I didn’t mean to cause you any problems. I didn’t know.”

  “Didn’t know what?” Colby asked. “That he had a girlfriend? He wouldn’t tell you that now, would he? But don’t worry, honey. He doesn’t have one anymore.”

  The words were sharp, but her voice broke at the end, giving her away.

  Fear glistened her eyes, and a tremble shook her voice. Colby was hurting. It had to mean she cared. Yet she was standing there, throwing away everything they’d built over a damn misunderstanding.

  Jason knew if they had any chance of making this work, he had to put his own anger aside. Flexing his hands, he strove for calm as he said, “Colby, this isn’t what you think. What you’re imagining didn’t happen. I’m not your dad. I’m not your ex. I’m an instructor in a class that just ended, and one of my students asked for help. We were going over a skill that I’d love to show you. That’s all that’s happening here.”

  The battle was evident in her expressive eyes. A part of her wanted to believe in him, wanted to believe in them. But when Angelle brushed past on her way to the door, the softness that he saw last night—the look in her eyes that he’d believed was love—faded. And the side that had decided years ago that all men were dogs won out.

  Hesitating with her hand on her duffel bag, Angelle sent him an apologetic smile. It would be easy to be mad at her. He wanted to blame her. But he couldn’t. The girl had a harmless crush. He should’ve set her straight as soon as her feelings were obvious, but he’d ignorantly thought it’d only make things more awkward. He’d always known she was never an honest threat to their relationship. But not confronting the issue led to this disaster.

  Turned out it was Jason’s fault after all.

  Gripping the strap of her bag, Angelle spoke quietly. “He’s telling you the truth.” Colby bristled, and Angelle turned to look her in the eyes. “Woman to woman, I did go after him. I didn’t know he was seeing someone—but I never asked. Jason never did anything inappropriate. He was only ever professional and kind.”

  Colby didn’t reply. He hadn’t expected her to. But he was grateful Angelle had tried.

  “Jason is an amazing man,” she continued. “I can’t be the only one who sees that. Don’t be a stubborn ass.” With a final glance back at Jason, she left.

  The room fell into silence.

  “Colby, I…” He squeezed his temples with both hands, searching for the words to fix this.

  “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a complete ass.” Colby sighed, her entire body seeming to deflate before him. “Stubborn maybe,” she muttered with a long exhale. “But I’m not an idiot. I heard what you said. I heard her. And I admit it’s possible that I misread…whatever that was.”

  For the first time since she’d walked into the gym, Jason felt hope. But then her glassy eyes lifted. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’m broken.”

  Swift steps bought back the distance she’d put between them. Yanking Colby into his arms, heart pounding, he shook his head. “No, baby. You’re not broken. You’ve been hurt; I get that. But if we’re ever gonna work, you need to trust me. You believed the worst tonight because that’s what you expected to see. But Colby, I promise you, I’m not that guy. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  A fat tear rolled down her smooth cheek. Another followed. As he swept them with his fingertips, her lips lifted into a small, trembling smile. But he felt her slipping away.

  “No.” Wrapping his arms tighter, he crushed her against him, his voice quaking with emotion. “Don’t give up on us, Colby. Couples fight. We can come back from this.”

  Her eyes closed as she lowered her head to his chest, shaking it as if to say, I don’t think we can.

  Desperation clawed his insides, tightening his chest. He refused to lose her now. Grasping her chin between his thumb and forefinger, he lifted it and pressed his forehead against hers, praying she’d open her beautiful eyes. When she didn’t, Jason went for broke. “Colby, I love you.”

  A sob shook her slender body. A matching one built in his throat. She had to feel the same. They could fix this. It wasn’t over.

  Colby flattened her lips into a hard line and finally opened her eyes…and Jason saw his dreams for the future shatter.

  Cupping his face in her hand she whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “That’s amazing, sweetheart.” Jason wedged the cell phone between his ear and shoulder, a smile forming at Emma’s excited chatter. His head pounded from lack of sleep. He was restless after hours on shift with no calls, and his chest ached—though that had nothing to do with his job. But he had his daughter. She would always have him. Their family unit was back to two, and perhaps that was as it should be.

  “Yep, I totally kicked his butt,” she declared. “After the first hour, the fish just stopped biting for him. Pops said it’s because I’m so sweet.”

  Jason suspected it was more like a combination of the old man’s soft spot for his granddaughter and good old-fashioned trickery. But as Emma giggled in his ear, the sound like a balm to his dropkicked heart, he was grateful whatever the reason.

  “Well, you be sure to stick it to him good for me.” He plopped his feet on his desk, picking up the picture of them in Biloxi last summer. “Do you know that in all the trips he’s dragged me on, I’ve never caught more than him?”

  She whooped and began taunting both men gleefully. In the background, he heard his mom scream at her favorite soap opera. Everything sounded so…normal. Eyeing the clock, Jason counted the hours until he could go home.

  Rubbing a circle over the pain in his chest he said, “How about a celebratory fish fry tomorrow when I get home?”

  “Mmm, sounds yummy. Can Colby come, too?”

  The sound of her name in his daughter’s sweet voice nearly killed him. How in the hell did he answer that? He couldn’t destroy Emma’s hopes over the damn phone. He couldn’t even imagine doing it in person. His greatest fear had come true, and there was no one to blame for the fallout but him.

  Ever since Colby had walked back into his life, he’d encouraged Emma’s matchmaking schemes. Maybe not overtly, but in small ways he’d allowed it to continue. He’d pushed Colby to join their camping trip when she hesitated. He’d let Emma invite her to the Recognition Assembly. And at the restaurant the other day, he’d practically worn a neon sign in front of God and everyone declaring his growing feelings.

  Even though Jason had been wrong, even though Colby didn’t love him, he knew she cared about his daughter. She wouldn’t shut Emma out. But after proclaiming his love like a jackass, Jason wasn’t sure he could handle being around Colby again.

  “I don’t know, Em,” he told her, his voice tight. Clearing his throat, he went for a diversion. “But you can invite Molly and Ava over. Now that summer break has started, it won’t be a school night. Y’all can have a sleepover.”

  It was a cheap trick. A pathetic attempt at distraction—but it worked like a charm. For the next few minutes, Emma went into passionate detail, describing all the movies they’d watch and the snacks he’d have to buy. Following the maze of words and topics kept Jason’s mind occupied, and he decided right then and there that this would be the best damn sleepover in the history of sleepovers. After everything she’d been through in her young life, his daughter deserved it.

  “Oh, and we’ll need doughnuts,” Emma said. “Dad, what do you think—”

  A loud bell pierced the air. A red light flashed over his head. Jason shot to his feet.

  Emma’s sharp intake of breath hit his ear as a booming voice called for three
engines, a ladder, and the medic. “Respond to a structure fire at Twenty-six Boudreaux Park west of Lafayette. Zone Five.”

  “Daddy?!?”

  Fear coated Emma’s voice. It was the same sound he awoke to whenever she’d had one of her nightmares. They weren’t as frequent anymore, but dreams of losing him like she’d lost her mother still tortured her some nights. In their small town, the department rarely responded to more than nine hundred calls in a year. But every fire Jason went into spurred another dream for Emma.

  Tucking the cell phone by his ear, he ran toward his gear. “Everything’s gonna be fine, Bug. I have to go now, but I love you. So much.”

  Her loud sniff carried over the sound of his boots smacking the ground. “I love you, too, Daddy. Please, please be safe.”

  “Always,” he promised.

  In a matter of minutes, Jason was dressed and racing down Main Street. Pushing past the guilt of Emma’s fear and the pain of Colby’s rejection, he began preparing for the task ahead. Fires were messy. Every one he’d encountered was unique and unpredictable. But this was what he’d trained for. This was something he could handle. And he was ready.

  …

  “Colby?” Cane widened the door as he stepped back, motioning for her to come inside. Staring first at her wardrobe and then at the key in her hand, he raised an eyebrow and said, “I thought you were sick.”

  In a manner of speaking.

  Colby doubted her big brother considered heartache a legitimate illness. Especially not self-inflicted heartache. But after tossing and turning all night and then berating herself for being a spineless coward all afternoon, she was fairly sure she was normal sick, too.

  Padding inside the home of her childhood, she breathed in the familiar scent of lemon. “I just needed to be here.”