Wordless

by Alyne Roberts

  It’s the dancer from the club that wore the nurse costume. They must have tracked her down and took her before Pierce and his people could find her.

  Her eyes go wide when she sees me. She recognizes me too. I grit my teeth and reach to shake her hand. Melody and Conner watch us carefully. They have no idea that I know Sarah wasn’t the one who saved Pierce from that rooftop bar, but three of us standing here know.

  I wonder how long they had her. What did she endure while games were played and deals were made? Is she every bit a captive like I once was?

  The humid air is so tense it’s almost as if the breeze can’t reach us. I smile as much as I can. Sarah shifts uncomfortably. She knows her demands aren’t hers to make. She’s stolen my promises and loyalty from him.

  “Let’s go meet you’re future husband,” Melody suggests.

  As she is tugged away toward the house I used to call home, Sarah turns back to look at me. She’s probably wondering how I got here when months ago I was in Vegas, dropping off a bloody body in front of her.

  But she’s not stupid because she turns and leaves with Melody and Conner, acting like she never met me before. As I watch them walk away, I feel eyes on me. I know it’s Pierce before I look up and see him on the balcony.

  His dark eyes are hard on mine as he leans on the railing. He’s in a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, already in his dress pants.

  A hand lands on my back as Alonzo joins us. I see the muscles twitch in Pierce’s jaw. His cold stare is on the other man touching me.

  Can he see the hurt in my eyes from up there? I doubt I can hide it from him. My heart breaks when he turns and walks back inside. I can imagine him meeting Sarah, thanking her for my good deed.

  “Come. We should chat.”

  Poppy takes my hand and we walk toward the water. Alonzo hangs back a few feet. He won’t let me get far, but he’s trying to give me privacy.

  “You’re safe?”

  I nod. I want to smile, but I can’t bring myself to fake one. When our feet touch wet sand, I kneel down and drag my finger through the sand.

  I missed you, I write just before the water washes my words away.

  “I missed you too. Dad freaked out when he found you gone,” she tells me. “He’s been hunting for you ever since.”

  The word hunting sends shivers down my spine. Not searches. Not seeking.

  Hunting.

  Like I’m an animal that escaped my cage. A bird in flight and I need my wings clipped.

  “Melody doesn’t know anything,” she whispers to me. “She was always so clueless.”

  I wish I could laugh because she’s right. Melody is the firstborn, but she always kept her head down. She followed the rules I was breaking. She ignored the hushed secrets and dark meetings that I was spying on.

  “It’s not safe here for you anymore, Shiloh.”

  I nod. I know.

  “You need to get out as soon as you can.”

  When the music starts up behind us, I know it’s too late.

  chapter twenty-six

  shiloh

  THE GUESTS START to take their seats when the soft music starts to play. Poppy gives my hand one last squeeze before she leaves me to find Melody. Alonzo waits for me near a middle row.

  I want to turn and run. I don’t want to watch my chances at a real life be destroyed. Pierce gave me a freedom that I can never have again.

  He heard me when I was wordless. He saw me when I was invisible.

  Just before I can reach Alonzo, Cyrus steps in my way.

  “Shiloh,” he says my name like a prayer. “You can leave with me tonight. Meet me by the dock. I’ll take you home and we can put this whole nightmare behind us.”

  “Step away.” The growl behind Cyrus gives me goosebumps.

  I haven’t heard that voice in days. Cyrus puts some space between us, turning to glare at Pierce.

  “She’s not yours anymore,” he says. “And shouldn’t you be waiting at the altar?”

  Pierce’s eyes cut through Cyrus but not enough to make him bleed. Done with the dramatics and testosterone, I move around them. Cyrus is right. I’m not Pierce’s anymore. I’m on my own. My own family is fighting me. They are taking away my freedom, taking away my power. Ripping away the fantasy I buried myself in.

  I sit next to Alonzo on the aisle seat so no one else can sit next to me. Hans joins Pierce up front while they wait for Sarah to make her entrance.

  I look around at the guests. I doubt anyone really knows Sarah. I find myself wondering what kind of life she led before I dropped this fate on her.

  I wish I could turn back time and give Pierce that note when I first arrived here. The note that was a confession; I was the one that saved him, but I shredded it and tossed it into the ocean. The sea holds that secret now.

  Maybe he would have had me killed on the spot because of my last name. Perhaps he would have hated me for my part in his attack. Things could be different. If I tell him now, he will hate me for letting his cousin die while trying to chase a ghost.

  I tense when the music changes and everyone stands to watch the bride walk down the aisle. Sarah is beaming in a simple white gown and bare feet. She looks like she was born to live on this island.

  Her “brother” Conner escorts her to Pierce. I can’t look at his face when he takes her hands in his in front of the officiant. I remember a wedding photo of my parents that hung in the dining room. My father looked at my mother with such adoration and love.

  I used to dream about what it would feel like when someone looked at me like that. I never dreamed they would be taken away from me and given to someone else. I never thought it would hurt this badly.

  Alonzo holds my hand when the vows are being exchanged. Each word digs into my heart a little deeper. I concentrate on the sound of the waves and the breeze rustling in the trees.

  “You may kiss the bride.”

  I hate myself for looking because when I do, my heart is torn from my chest and mangled. I actually look down at my beautiful dress, almost expecting to see the blood staining the ombré blue. On the outside I look fine. It’s the inside I doubt I can ever repair.

  “I now pronounce to you Mr. and Mrs. Pierce Gallo!”

  Everyone claps. Even my own hands find themselves smacking together. I stand with the rest of them and watch as the bride and groom come back down the aisle, holding hands. I’m a robot, following the lead.

  I let Alonzo take me back to the tents where a live band plays and food is being served. Everything is perfect for a beach wedding. Little sea shells decorate the centerpieces.

  I pick one up, noting it’s not broken and damage like the ones in my collection. These are perfect, never having been stepped on or kicked. They were protected.

  I’m a broken shell. Empty and broken. Cast away while another was picked and up and chosen. My broken shells and I don’t have such a bright future ahead of us.

  “Shiloh, could you spare me a dance?”

  I look up at Hans, dressed in a black tuxedo. His hand is out for me to take. I feel numb as I place my hand in his and let him pull me up. We walk to the center of the dance floor and he spins me to face him.

  Hans pulls me close, his hand on my back. I am numb as we move to the soft music. Everything has a light to haze to it, like a bad dream. Only I know this is my reality. It was the bliss leading up to now that was all a dream.

  “I never thought you would live through that first night after we found you,” Hans says in my ear. Our cheeks brush when I look up into his eyes.

  A ghost of smile plays on his lips. My eyes widen because I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hans smile. He was always so serious and on alert.

  “You looked so broken and weak. I didn’t know how strong you really were. I don’t think I even realized your true strength until this moment.”

  My eyes sting, but I know I won’t cry. I never do.

  “This is a sacrifice for you both but one that has to be made.
You understand right?”

  I look away. If I nod does that make it all okay? I won’t relent to my anger and hurt, but I won’t fight Pierce on his choices.

  I shake my head. It’s too late for that anyway.

  “I can take you anywhere you want after this. Anywhere.”

  I thought my heart couldn’t break anymore, but I was wrong. This was my dismissal. My eviction notice.

  Did I think I would just stay in the bedroom next to Pierce’s forever? I couldn’t be the mistress on the side and live on a small island with his wife. I have to leave.

  I know this but I didn’t want to think about it yet. Part of me hoped Pierce would change his mind. There’s cheering and clapping as the bride and groom join the party. When I see their smiles, I look away. It’s like staring into the sun. It hurts too much.

  My chest constricts and I pull away from Hans. My heels click as I cross the dance floor until they sink into the warm sand. The sun is almost set on the horizon. Only a faint purple streaks the sky as it starts to darken.

  The waves call to me and I go to them. I stop only to slip off my shoes before walking into the surf. The water is cold as it splashes my legs, but I don’t really feel it. All I can feel is the emptiness where he used to be.

  Lacuna: (n.) A blank space. A missing part.

  “Shiloh!”

  I turn as Poppy runs to catch up. I look back at the tent and realize they can’t see us out here in the dark.

  “Are you okay?” she asks when she finally reaches me.

  I nod because I am a Blackard. I will live even if I don’t want to. My mother was a fighter and so am I.

  But I’m far from okay.

  “Listen to me because I don’t have much time. Our boat leaves before sunrise. Be on it.”

  I shake my head. I can’t go back home. I betrayed the family. Dad will never let me go unpunished.

  Poppy seems to be able to read my mind.

  “Dad wants you home. He won’t hate you but you have to do something for him. Do this and all is forgiven. Like it never happened.”

  Dad doesn’t forgive. There’s a war between the coasts because of a feud older than me. Poppy takes my hand and thrusts something cold and hard into it. I wrap my fingers around it, feeling the sharp edge.

  “Tonight. Kill them both as they sleep and run. Get to the boat and we will leave.”

  I shake my head, tears starting to form.

  “You have to,” she whispers. “No one was ever going to make it out of this alive, Shiloh. You have to know our father would never settle on a truce.”

  I grip the dagger tightly, tears wetting my cheeks for the first time that I can remember.

  “You have to do it or someone else will. Do this for our family. Please.”

  Poppy grips my face and kisses my forehead before turning and running back to the party. I watch her shadow as it hugs the darkness and slips back under the lights like she was never here.

  I watch Pierce twirl Sarah across the dance floor. Her smile is bright and wide as she stares up at him. I glance down at the blade in my hand. The metal blurring with my hot tears.

  Kill Pierce? How can I kill him when I can’t seem to stop from saving him? What other choices do I have? I can’t leave with Cyrus if he’ll take me back to Las Vegas. No matter how long we have been friends, I betrayed him for Pierce. His loyalty will always lie with my father and the family. Hans can’t save me either because Poppy is right. There will never be a truce. He will take them all out one way or another. I could go down with them or die fighting them.

  Pierce chose his family over me.

  What choice am I supposed to make?

  chapter twenty-seven

  pierce

  “WHERE IS SHE?” I ask Hans.

  “She’s on the beach,” he tells me. “Leave her be.”

  I sip my champagne but it’s tasteless. I watch our wedding guests eat and dance. They don’t care that I broke a girl’s heart today. They only see what they want to see. They see money and opportunity.

  Cyrus is talking to a petite brunette near the band. The girl has striking blue eyes. Familiar and hypnotizing. He whispers in her ear as she nods, but I see the worry and fear in her eyes.

  “Dance with me?” my wife asks. Her eyes are glazed over but her smile is wide.

  I hand off my glass and lead Sarah to the dance floor. As we sway, I search the tent for Shiloh. I spot Alonzo talking to Hans, but she is nowhere to be seen.

  “My feet are killing me,” Sarah says, bringing my attention back to her.

  She still looks nervous whenever I focus my attention on her. I have flashes of my memory of her being stronger than me, holding my chest while I covered her in my blood.

  “Can we get out of here?” she whispers in my ear. Her fingertips run through my hair from the back of my neck.

  “Of course.”

  I take my wife’s hand and pull her through the people I don’t really care about. If I didn’t want complete control of the wedding and security, I never would have any of these people at my home. This place is supposed to my peace.

  I have a feeling this place will never be the same for me again.

  “Everything okay?” I ask Hans and Alonzo.

  “Fine, sir. Enjoy your night.”

  I stare at Hans a little longer, but he doesn’t say anymore. He knows what I really want to know is where Shiloh has disappeared to. His hard glare says she’s not my business anymore.

  “You have such a beautiful home,” Sarah says as we enter the foyer. She looks up at the dual chandeliers in awe.

  “I’ll give you the complete tour in the morning,” I tell her as we start up the steps. When she first arrived, she was ushered into a guest bedroom to get ready.

  I walk slowly past Shiloh’s room, but I don’t hear any sound of movement inside. I doubt she will come back to her room tonight. I can’t imagine what is going through her head. I keep seeing the pain in her eyes when she looked at me. I could feel her heart breaking, shattering in her chest while I pushed her away. I saw it again this morning but there was a strength behind it. She held her head high and stood strong. She was gorgeous in the dress and necklace I picked out for her. Her walls were up as I stood at the altar waiting for the ceremony to start. I wanted to ease her pain, but I need to keep my distance.

  I unlock my bedroom door and let Sarah step in first. The room is cast in a dim candlelight. Sarah gasps when she sees the stars over the ocean outside. I come up behind her on the balcony, scanning the beach for a dark figure.

  “When I was a little girl, I used to imagine my wedding all the time,” Sarah says quietly.

  “Was it like this?” I ask. She laughs softly.

  “Arranged to a man I don’t know? Nah. But the beach is right.”

  “Well, I'm glad it’s not a complete disappointment.”

  “As I grew up, I stopped dreaming.”

  She turns and brushes past me back into the bedroom. There’s a cart with iced champagne and glasses with a tray of fruit. Sarah pours us each a glass, though she doesn’t need another.

  I take a sip as she chugs the glass and pours another. She sways on her feet so I reach out to hold her steady.

  “Pierce Gallo. My savoir,” she slurs.

  “Not your savior. You’ll learn that soon.” I will hurt her just as I have Shiloh.

  “I have something sexy on under this dress. Wanna see?”

  Her eyes are closed but she is trying to reach the back zipper.

  “Maybe you should sit,” I suggest, guiding her toward the bed. The bed I never had another woman in. I never even had a chance to have Shiloh here.

  “You mean lie,” Sarah snorts. Her eyelids are getting heavy.

  I take the glass just before she falls back. I drink the last of it and roll the cart to the hall. When I come back to the bed, Sarah looks like she’s out. I grab her ankles and move her onto the bed.

  I feel a sudden wave of dizziness as I get her situate
d on one side. Sarah starts to mumble and reaches for me.

  “I knew the moment you were dropped behind my club that you were bad news.”

  chapter twenty-eight

  shiloh

  I WATCH AS the last guard makes his round. The tent is already packed up, like nothing ever happened. They probably wanted to beat the storm that looks like it might shake the island. The thick clouds cover the moon and thunder rumbles in the distance. I can feel the shift in the air. It’s cooler and carries an electric charge.

  Brontide (n.) the low rumble of distant thunder.

  Funny how all this started so I could be free. I spent a life time of being invisible and hidden in the shadows. Tonight I stand in the dark, invisible and hidden.

  An ironic and perfect ending for my story, I think.

  I run my fingers over the front of my dress, feeling the blade’s handle. I feel the metal on my skin. I concentrate on its strength. Metal is hard to break or bend. It can withstand most disasters.

  Shivering in the breeze, I don’t feel cold. I don’t feel anything at all. I am numb as I cross the sand and slip inside the back patio doors. Pressing my back against the wall, the curtains hide me while another guard makes his rounds. When his footsteps fade, I tiptoe up the stairs. The second floor is still and dark. Most of the guests stayed on the boat but a few took spare rooms. I quickly round the corner and continue to the third floor before I am seen.

  My heart beats steady as I pad down the dark hall. I pause by my bedroom, considering grabbing my broken shell collection. I spent months gathering them, but I don’t want them anymore. I don’t want to remember the time I was broken in paradise.

  I pass my room and find the beverage cart outside Pierce’s room. The bottle of champagne is almost empty. The sleeping pills I crushed up should knock both of them out quickly. I didn’t want to wait for the newlyweds to consummate their marriage before slipping inside.

  I hold on to my betrayal and heartbreak to keep myself from turning around. I remember the way I hurt when he kissed her. I replay our last moments together in his office. Moments Pierce was so quick to discard. I dig deep for that anger and turn it around on him. I hate him for casting me aside, dropping me like I was simply a play thing for his entertainment. I curse him for marrying someone else leaving me no choice but to return home, the very place I was running from. Now I have to protect myself from my own family. Most of all, I hate that he made me love him and broke his promise to me.