Sorrow: A Novel Written by Brian Wortley

by Brian Wortley

  He saw, in her eyes, the future. Bright. Beautiful. It seemed like the stars to him. The first steps of a journey most wonderful. He gasped, seized by wonder in a way he hadn’t been since a boy. There mingled among the stars he saw himself. A burning, passionate warrior clad in honor. He pressed his lips together into a deep smile and kept the rest to himself.

  Sara watched the yellow sickly hue swirl around him. The same she perceived around all about to die.

  “Thank you,” Sara whispered. She nodded to him that it was time.

  With a head full of wonder, Ian turned and his consciousness was ripped from the future into the present. A scream crossed his lips as the impact of the tracks broke his legs. Two zombies immediately jumped on him biting into his back and neck.

  A horrified audience watched from the boxcar roof as their companion screamed.

  Val watched as the zombies ripped off the majority of the flesh on his back and their teeth tore into muscle. She looked away when Ian tried to push a third off him with his weak arms.

  “Blow damn it!” Andrea screamed.

  The terrible queen approached her victim and effortlessly bit into his defiant arm. With a single gesture she tore it completely off like a towering dinosaur.

  The others endured Ian’s screams but Val put her hands on her ears for she heard only Snipes.

  The merciful noise of the explosion bounced off the trees and filled the land. Val looked out and saw the husk of the queen still moving. With inhuman ambition, the queen clawed at the earth towards them dragging her entrails behind her. Her legs fell in pieces across the landscape.

  Val looked and met Sara’s gaze. Val saw only their normal dingy appearance disappear as Sara pulled the blindfold back over her eyes. A part of Val wondered if Ian had seen something different.

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  Sara asked Connor to join her in the passenger car.

  He found the request odd but agreed. The two sat alone for a long time. Connor hoped she wasn’t building up the courage to tell him something awful.

  A short time later, Val joined the two in the passenger car.

  As Val entered it, she heard Sara speaking. But the more she listened, the more she became convinced that Sara did not speak to Connor.

  Sara’s head bobbed back and forth as if engaging several different people in conversation.

  Val walked up to Connor and placed her hand on his shoulder.

  “Who’s she talking to?” Val asked.

  Connor displayed an odd expression and replied, “Well, apparently people who aren’t here. She’s been going on like this for some time now. It didn’t seem right to stop her.”

  “Sara,” Val said touching Sara.

  Sara turned her blindfolded eyes towards Val. “This car knew so much happiness. New adventures,” Sara said with a smile.

  “Sara, is it safe to stop? Carlos tells me we need to take on more wood and water.”

  “He’s right. The bayou is coming to an end. We should stock up now while we can. There’s no fear in stopping. There’s time to fill up.”

  Sara curled up on the bench as best she could placing her head on Connor’s leg. He welcomed the gesture. The last interaction he remembered them having was Sara screaming something about blood on his hands.

  Sara didn’t wake until long after Connor’s leg fell numb. When Sara did wake, the noise of splintering lumber filled her ears. She rose, cast a smile towards Connor, and turned her head to the boxcar. There she found the last car completely disassembled. Val and her crew painstakingly stripped it of most of its burnable material. While Sara slept, they’d managed to gather the lumber in the tender for Carlos to burn.

  “I just had the best sleep I’ve had in months,” Sara announced to Connor. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Connor stood and looked to her. “Sara,” he started to say.

  “Please don’t ask, Connor,” Sara said cutting him off. “Everyone wants something from me. I kind of like the fact that your one of the few that doesn’t express it.”

  Connor wasn’t exactly sure how to take her comment. “Ok,” he said in a tone hinting he may be slightly hurt.

  Sara breathed in heavily and found Val.

  “You have such beautiful thoughts,” Sara said to Val as she approached.

  Val gave Sara an odd look and replied, “Whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

  “Sending Moses off like this is a beautiful idea.”

  “Don’t get all sentimental. We just don’t need this car so I’m stripping it and leaving it behind. It’s less to tag along.”

  “But you’ve intentionally left on some of the wood to burn. That’s very poetic of you, Val.”

  Val sighed. “Ok, it’s just that-” she hesitated as if to find the words. “No one gets a funeral anymore. Ok? It’s just my way of sending off a friend. And don’t you dare tell anyone this was my idea. I told them it was yours. I said you were all crazy with estrogen or baby fluids or whatever the hell’s swimming around inside of you and you got all weepy and wanted a funeral. So this is your idea.”

  “Oh I’ve missed you.”

  “Sorry, I can’t reply to that. I’ve already put up with my quota of emotions today.”

  Sara let Val and her team finish and soon everyone but Carlos stood on the end of the passenger car. Sara pulled her jacket closer to her neck as the now familiar trumpet noise resounded across the land. Its echo caused the workers to stop and all look out across the landscape. None had noticed the sky had turned a devilish-green and seemed to churn like a witch’s brew. Sara looked up into the sky to watch the arrival of their newest adversary: snow. By the time the boxcar was stripped of most its wood the cold flakes whipped through its barren walls with fierce ambition.

  Everyone put on the warmest clothes they could find and joined Sara and Val out on the end of the passenger car.

  “Sara,” Val said, “don’t you want to say a few words? I mean this was your idea after all.”

  Sara cast a dirty look to Val and stood before everyone.

  “Moses,” Sara paused a moment to think, “was a friend. Although we didn’t always see eye to eye on things – a lot of things,” Sara tilted her head as if to think a moment. “Maybe all things. Nevertheless Moses was-” Sara’s mouth just hung open for an excruciatingly long time, “a friend.

  “If nothing else,” Sara painfully continued, “you have to admire the man for being blinded and yet continuing on. He added to the group with his handicapped services in-” at this Sara paused again “in some ways I’m sure.” Sara, knowing the speech was perhaps the worst of her life, said, “So with no further ado, let’s send him off.”

  At this point Val jumped up and interjected, “Actually with some more ado, I’d like to say a few words.” Val waited for Sara to gladly turn over the floor to her. “Moses was one of my greatest friends on this journey. I quickly realized his solid frame was one I could rely on.” Val started to tear up. “I loved him!” Val immediately responded to the look Connor gave her. “Not like that, Connor. Moses anchored me to the group. I probably would have left you all if it weren’t for him. He protected me when Connor was being a zombie.” At this everyone turned to look at Connor who just gave an acknowledging head nod. “Moses literally saved my life in the hotel attack. He was blinded while defending me from hordes of zombies.

  “If anything, Connor, he’s one of the main reasons we got back together. He had a loving, gentle way about him. He spent countless hours listening to me and my emotional vomit. He always encouraged me to get back with you. He believed in you, Connor, long after I’d given up hope on you. I mean, you were pretty awful for a while, Connor.”

  With a little hand gesture, Connor said, “But we were talking about Moses…”

  “Moses had a strength about him,” Val continued. “It went far beyond the physical. In his quiet way, he loved spurring people on. He always encouraged me to be a better person. I’m going to miss him.”


  Val waited a moment to see if anyone else wanted to share. When no one stepped forward, Val hopped onto the boxcar. With her body, she blocked the wind and lit a pile of splintered wood with her lighter. Val moved back onto the passenger car when the timber around the frame caught fire ensuring the entire car would burn.

  Val cast a sentimental look to everyone and knelt down and disconnected the two cars. The boxcar travelled with them for a moment before losing speed. It drifted sadly away until its bright flames were finally swallowed up in the collecting snow.

  Everyone else moved inside to other duties, but Connor and Val sat alone watching the snow.

  “I love you, Connor,” Val said completely out of the blue. She leaned up to kiss his cheek.

  The kind gesture startled him. “I love you too, Val.”

  “If anything happens to me, I want you to lead the group. You’ve changed so much.” She played with the broken handcuffs still around his wrists. “These seem so silly now. I can’t even remember a Connor who needed these. Thinking over my time with Moses reminded me of that. The monster you were is so unlike you now. Thank you so much for changing. It has meant the world to me.”

  “You’re welcome. Thank you for noticing and giving me another chance.” A question rose in Connor but he hesitated to ask it. Finally his curiosity won out, “Do you know that something is going to happen to you? Did Sara tell you something?”

  “No,” Val said in a sleepy voice. “I just worry sometimes.”

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  Long after Connor and Val moved into the passenger car, the train started to slow and Carlos appeared over the tender.

  “Well, it’s that time again,” Carlos announced. “We need to take on water. But we can just shovel in snow and it’ll melt in there.”

  “Do we have any shovels?” Val asked.

  “Negative,” Connor replied. “But we could use some of the wider boards.”

  “Carlos!” Val yelled suddenly. “Let me see your hand! It looks awful.”

  Carlos gingerly offered his wrapped hand. Blood and other fluids had already soaked through the gauze.

  While everyone else went out to collect snow, Val examined Carlos’ wound. She cleaned it as best she could but she feared it had become infected. After doing all she could for it, Val went out to join the others.

  Val grabbed a board and shoveled snow beside Connor. The wind had died down some so that the snow fell somewhat vertically. On her third trip back from the locomotive, Val saw an odd defiance appear out of the snow. Before her mind could grasp it, it disappeared again into the flakes. Curious, Val trudged towards the object dropping her board carelessly.

  Connor noted her leaving and tried to call out to her. But the wind and snow muffled his voice and so he decided to follow. Soon the blowing snow had a new companion. Yellow flakes along with the white snowflakes drifted across his gaze. The new yellow arrivals confounded him until he managed to catch one and found in his hand a bright yellow leaf.

  Connor pressed forward to find Val engulfed by a wonderland of snow and falling leaves. The mist cleared for a moment and Connor saw her standing before a magnificent maple tree somehow untouched by the destruction of the world. It proudly spread its branches before them in proper fall apparel.

  Val laughed as she stood in awe of the yellow waterfall of leaves and snow swirling about her. She had forgotten things this beautiful existed in the world. She spun around like a girl stopping to find Connor. He stood on his crutch smiling at her.

  “This is beautiful,” she exclaimed. “Come here,” Val said gesturing for him to move into her arms. He approached but fell to his one knee half way there.

  Val rushed in to help him up but found him unwilling. He pushed back her hands with a seemingly callous gesture.

  “Stop fighting me! I’m trying to help you idiot,” Val yelled.

  “And I’m trying to propose to you!” Connor snapped back.

  His words stopped her cold.

  “Oh,” she said in a much milder tone.

  Connor dug out an object from his pocket and lifted it up to her. In his hand she found the ring she threw at him back in Pueblo. Connor could tell she was genuinely touched by the fact that he’d kept it this whole time. She knelt to meet him embracing him with tears.

  “That would be how our proposal would go,” she said.

  “Val, would you do me the great honor of marrying me… again?”

  “Of course,” she said kissing him. The two embraced.

  “Hey at this rate we’ll be in Florida soon. That’s a great honeymoon place!”

  “Well except for the snow. And the zombies. And the fact that the ocean is going to stop our retreat so we’ll probably all be violently eaten. Besides that, it’s awesome!”

  “Well of course besides that stuff,” Connor replied.

  She stopped to look at him. “Thank you for this. Thank you for asking and saving my ring.”

  “I know it doesn’t really mean much with all this insanity going on.”

  “Nonsense! It does to me. I really do appreciate it, Connor.”

  Just then Andrea and Sara came through the snow to find the couple sitting next to the brilliant tree.

  “Well this is quite a find,” Sara said looking up at the tree. “How is it that this tree has stood alone against the storms?”

  “I was about to ask you,” Val replied.

  “It’s beautiful,” Sara answered.

  “And what’s this,” Andrea commented, “two lovers?”

  “Connor asked me to marry him,” Val said. “And, of course, I accepted.”

  Andrea and Sara applauded.

  “So this is what you two have been up to while we were hard at work!” Andrea said.

  “Oh yeah,” Val asked, “how’s that going?”

  “It’s done,” Andrea answered.

  “Well, in that case, I’m ready to rejoin the group!”

  “Nice, Val,” Sara said.

  “Carlos is itching to go,” Andrea replied. “We should get going.”

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙ ∙

  Once underway again, Sara pulled Connor to the corner of the passenger car where they could be alone.

  “Connor,” Sara began in a deep meaningful tone, “the time has come for me to tell you a few things.”

  He looked at her wide eyed. “Shouldn’t you be telling this to Val? She’s the leader.”

  Sara just ignored his comment, “Zalac has come. Their full force is gathering behind us. We run and will soon be trapped against the sea. The Weather Witch has come full strength against us. Soon she’ll completely overpower the locomotive and make movement very difficult. You’ll be the one who needs to keep the company moving.

  “It’ll be your first big step back into leadership. You’re ready. I see it.”

  “You pulled me aside, Sara, not the other way around. If you’re going to engage me in this way, you’re going to give me straight answers. None of that cryptic speech Brady used to pull. What happens to Val? Why isn’t she in leadership? Is she going to die?”

  “We’re all going to die, Connor.”

  “Sara, answer directly or I’m walking. I’ve put up with more than my share of this.”

  “She’ll be unconscious. Not dead. She’ll wake again into herself. I want you to lead us and I know Val agrees.”

  “You’ve been spying on us like Brady used to?”

  “I doubt he was. And if he did, it’s not what you think.”

  Connor couldn’t help looking into Sara’s dark blindfold and asking, “Is that a hint of sympathy towards Brady I hear?”

  “No. Merely objectivity. It’s possible and likely that Brady looked into some intimate details of your life with Val but I seriously doubt it was for the purpose of spying. I see him stalking the past desperate for any information that could help him in his goal. But it’s so impersonal. Even if he saw you, it had nothing to do with wanting to know your intimate details. It depende
d solely on that fact’s relevance to his goal.”

  “Ok, ok! Sorry I asked. I just thought you’re opinion of him might have changed since-” He ended his thought prematurely but Sara would not let it fade.

  “Since what?”

  “Since Chuck.”

  Sara looked at him through her blindfold. The uncovered part of her face betrayed her confused expression. “Why would that have changed my opinion of him?”

  “I just thought,” Connor said clumsily. “I don’t know. It’s stupid. Just having a child around again, I guess. I thought it would have softened you up or something. I’m not sure. It sounds stupid now that I say it outright.”

  “It might have if he hadn’t died of starvation.”

  “Ok, it was stupid, alright? I’m sorry I brought it up.”

  “You want us to get back together in the end, don’t you?”

  “Of course. I’ve known you two for a long time. It wouldn’t be right if you didn’t.”

  “Connor, the rift between Brady and I is beyond spanning. It’s him or me now. There can never be an ‘us’ again.” Sara sighed. “Look, I’m ecstatic that you and Val got back together but don’t think just because you two did Brady and I could. It’s all very different. You got drunk with power and became a bit of a monster for a moment. You lost yourself and then returned. Val, being an amazing woman, has offered you a second chance.

  “Brady and I are very different. Plans of his that have been in motion for years are only now coming into light. He has systematically chosen me to be ground into a millstone of complete destruction. If he wins, there will be nothing left of me. He made me promises that are completely broken in a way that can’t be reasoned away. I call him only what he’s already called himself ‘a bastard.’

  “I grow weary of this stupid discussion. How many more times will you all drag me through it?

  “All of this has been beside the point. I pulled you aside to enlighten you. Do you want my advice?”

  “Of course.”

  “Carlos’ hand will need to be severed. It’s infected and will get gangrene and kill him if it isn’t removed. As the new leader this will fall to you. You’ll have to convince him. As I was saying before, the snow will eventually engulf the train and we’ll have to continue again on foot. The team I’m handing you will be frostbitten and worn. You’ll have to keep them going until we meet a friend. Besides his affections for Brady trust him entirely.