Wolf's-own: Weregild

by Carole Cummings

  "I told you before,” Fen said. “I'm tired of things happening to me. If I can't get them out, I'm not going to sit here and wait for someone to take them. You keep saying you want to help me, but you want to keep Joori here because insane ghosts told you he's a key. You can't help me get Yakuli because some god who's not even yours says you can't. Fine. I understand. I don't even fault you for it. Your laws are not the same as mine, but it works both ways."

  Malick had to stare. It was so strange—he'd barely been able to get two sentences at a time out of Fen before, and now, when Malick had honestly been expecting to have to drag Fen out from inside himself at least once an hour, he was suddenly the village crier. And he could barely even speak, his voice was so hoarse.

  "Both ways how?” Malick asked carefully.

  "I don't have the same power as you,” Fen told him, “but I also don't have the same restrictions. And I've a city full of people who still believe in Untouchables enough to keep shrines and obey the laws concerning them. My kind were the Ancestors’ Voices once."

  He tugged his arm out of Malick's grip. Malick just let him go, watching as Fen took hold of the railing and began making his way down the stair again. That last sentence might have been cryptic, if Fen had said it to someone else. Malick was very much afraid he understood exactly what it meant.

  "Fen.” He took the three steps down Fen had managed then took another and angled himself into a blockade. “Fen. Tell me you don't plan to announce yourself to the Courts and try to have Yakuli arrested. Because I've gotta tell you—that's a really terrible plan."

  "All right,” Fen answered. “I don't plan to announce myself to the Courts and try to have Yakuli arrested."

  Malick's mouth tightened, and his teeth clenched. “And is that the truth?"

  Because one had to be very clear, when it came to Fen.

  "Yes, it's the truth."

  "All right.” Malick leaned his shoulder into the wall, narrowed his eyes. “So, what are you planning?"

  Fen stared at him for a long time, measuring, maybe, but Malick couldn't tell. It was intense, anyway—more intense than he'd thought Fen capable—and he was caught between being uncomfortable beneath that close concentration and being overjoyed that Fen had found it again. Malick really had worried.

  "You're really not like them, y'know.” Fen shrugged when Malick tilted his head, and he pitched a vague wave over his shoulder. “Husao and Xari. Even Umeia. You're not like them. You plot too much, and you manipulate when most of the time all you have to do is ask, but... you could've been a lot worse, I guess."

  Malick had no idea if he should be pleased or insulted. And he wasn't about to be distracted. “Fen—"

  "I saw you grieve for those you love, which means you can. It surprised me.” Another shrug. “And I see the disgust every time Yakuli comes up. I think you really do want to stop him."

  That one made Malick glower. “Well, of course I do, I wouldn't—"

  "Shig says you'd give up your soul for me."

  Malick blinked, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. “...Sorry?"

  Would he?

  He shook his head, scowled. No, of course not.

  Wait, would he?

  "I don't want that,” Fen said. “I don't want your oath. I don't want anything but what you've already sworn to Joori and Morin. Let the woman do what she will. Don't let anything happen to my brothers. Leave Yakuli to me."

  All right, that really didn't sound good. “What are you planning, Fen?” Malick asked quietly.

  "I'm planning to be a Catalyst,” Fen told him, too calm, too cool. “I'm going to be Untouchable. I'm going to see who dares to touch me."

  "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Malick was a little disturbed that it had come out so high-pitched, but right now, it was hardly even worth noticing.

  Fen only shook his head, prodded Malick backward until he had no choice but to move out of the way or flip ass over elbow down the steps. “Honestly,” Fen said as he strode down one step then two, “I would have thought a Temshiel would recognize a simple plot when he saw one."

  "Maybe I'm dim,” Malick growled, keeping pace. “Humor me."

  Fen stopped, turned slowly to Malick, his eyes gone avid, a little bit scary, and his mouth turned up in a smile Malick had never seen before—sly and cold and just one shade shy of creepy. He leaned in, right up close. “He's still here."

  Malick's eyes narrowed and his stomach dropped and went cold. “Who, Fen?"

  "He's not bound to the earth. He's bound to me.” It should have been impossible for so much fear and desperation to come through in a voice that could barely climb above a whisper, but Malick heard it all too clearly. “One more hungry ghost haunting me.” Fen held up his hand, flashed Malick's ring. “Got rid of the Ancestors, and now I've got him. Fucking figures."

  Malick leaned back, peered at Fen intently, a little sad that the intermittent clarity and confidence seemed to be coming from a diseased root. And more profoundly disappointed than he might have suspected that Fen's sanity was once again—no, still—in serious question.

  "Uh-huh,” Malick said calmly, but with a slight tinge of panic he sent, Shig! I need you upstairs—right now, and even managed to smile a little as he did it. At least he thought he did. Everything had gone kind of numb. “And is he the one who made this plan for you, whatever it is?"

  Fen snorted, rolled his eyes. “He only ever planned for me to fail.” His eyes filled, and he clenched his jaw against it. “I've had... enough of that."

  There wasn't enough time and there weren't enough words to make Fen believe he wasn't what his father and Asai had taught him he was. “Fen,” Malick said through his teeth. “What plan?"

  Fen leaned down ‘til they were almost nose to nose, snarled, “The same plan I've always had! The same plan I had when you mugged me in the alley and then told me I could kill for you or die. The same plan I had when you promised to help me, except you keep. Not. Doing it."

  "I'm doing it!” Malick protested. “I'm doing it now, today, ask Samin. I've a plan of my own, and if you'll—"

  "No, I've had enough of your plans,” Fen seethed, and though the look was vicious, Malick was almost pleased to see it—it was better than that blankness or that calm almost-amusement of a moment ago. “The point of a plan is that it should eventually become action. Yours never do. I'm not waiting for you anymore—I'm going to find my mother."

  "By yourself?"

  "Who else? You can't do it—you go after Yakuli and you risk your soul. I have no gods, and I doubt there's anything worth saving of my soul."

  "I know you'd like to think that, but you—"

  "Burn your dead, Kamen. Joori has agreed to see to Caidi."

  Malick's glance shot up the stairs, noted Joori hovering just inside the door to Malick's rooms, peering around the frame. Joori said nothing, but he tipped a subtle nod and made small shooing motions with his hand. Malick's eyebrow went up, and his mouth turned down. “Has he, then.” As bland and even as he could make it. Apparently, there were things Malick had missed and needed to know, and if he couldn't get them out of Fen, he'd get them out of Joori. He looked back at Fen, eyes narrowed. “And you'll be doing what?"

  A hard, sharp grin that Malick had never seen before, and rather hoped he'd never see again—it made Fen's eyes go flinty and... empty. Like a dead man's eyes.

  "Am I your dog, Kamen?” Fen's throaty voice had gone low, a near-seductive tone to it that made Malick shudder just a little.

  A tiny whiff of cherry smoke curled into his nose, and Shig's light touch tendriled at the back of his mind. Malick thought about using her power to see for himself, but told her, Have a look at Fen—is Asai still here? instead. He didn't spend nearly as much time with the spirits as she did, and he wanted no mistakes.

  A short moment's pause before Shig answered, No. They can't find him. They never could. Caidi was looking for him, but I sent her to Joori and Morin then guided her to Umeia. The
y'll all go peacefully when the fire frees them.

  Malick blinked, shook his head. There was nothing to say to that, really, or maybe there was too much, so he merely said, Thank you, and then he cut her off.

  He rubbed at his brow, tried to remember where he'd left off with Fen—Am I your dog, Kamen?—and decided there was no reason in the world to answer it less than truthfully. “No,” he said. Because he never had been, really. And the way things had worked out, it seemed Malick was his, rather than the other way around.

  Fen leaned down again, very slowly, and brushed his lips over Malick's, gentle and slow and almost tender. Paused when the movement hovered just at the edge of a kiss. “Then stop asking me stupid questions,” he breathed, “and get the fuck out of my way."

  Malick licked his lips as Fen pulled back, scrutinized the gray gaze looking back at him, but the intense, even stare could mean too many things, and he apparently wasn't going to be allowed the time to find out what. He cut another look up at Joori, saw the clamped jaw, the urgency of his gaze, then merely curled a snarky smile at Fen, said, “Woof,” and stepped aside.

  Fen smirked, but it was flat, and when he peered down the stair as Malick moved out of his way, it curled wider, almost wicked. Shig was there, leaning against the wall and smoking, her bright, multicolored hair, without the braids now, pulled back into a neat, subdued tail at the back of her neck. A crutch was propped beside her.

  "I've decided I can live with it,” Fen told her. “But it seems I won't have to. I'm no one's redemption."

  He didn't look at either of them again, just made a point of trotting a little too carelessly down the steps, refusing to limp, and only paused when Shig stuck the crutch out, blocking his path. “Sure, Fen,” she said, took a long drag and blew a thin stream of smoke into his face. “But then, you still think you have to do everything by yourself, even though you know damned well you can't.” She shrugged, pulled the crutch back, and shoved it into Fen's chest. “Here. This'll help you get to your suicide faster. I'll tell Caidi not to bother to wait for you."

  Fen's teeth clenched tight, his eyes blazed, and he grabbed the crutch, swung it back over his shoulder the way Samin swung his sword just before he decapitated someone. Malick sucked a quick breath in, tensed to jump between them, but Shig didn't even blink. In fact, she smiled. Held her smoke out to Fen.

  "Don't touch Joori.” Fen's voice was low and thick, the threat even more clear than the crutch raised over his shoulder like a ready bludgeon. “It wasn't his fault."

  Shig turned a slow look up the stairs, past Malick, before she let it drift back down to Fen. “You Fens punish yourselves so thoroughly, anything I might do would be redundant.” She shrugged and waved the cherry smoke under Fen's nose. “Kinda takes the fun out of it."

  Fen stared at her for a long, long moment, rigid, too obviously close to murderous. And then he just growled, flipped the crutch down, and shoved it back at her. He took the smoke, stuck it in the side of his mouth, and walked away.

  Malick and Shig merely watched him go. Strangely, so did Joori.

  "He thinks it's Asai,” Shig said quietly. “But it's really just him."

  Malick slanted a curious look at her. “You can ‘hear’ him?"

  "No.” Shig snorted dully and shook her head as she lit herself another smoke. She propped the crutch against the wall. “I just know how he thinks.” A wink as she squinted through a puff of smoke. “I watch. I see."

  "If there's no one about who will tell him he's a failure,” Joori put in behind Malick, “he'll invent someone."

  Malick turned to him, eyes narrowed. “All right, what's his too-likely very stupid and almost certainly suicidal plan?"

  Joori ventured out into the hallway. Malick wasn't surprised to see Husao right behind him.

  "Jacin doesn't plan,” Joori said. “Jacin does. The Ancestors said I'm a key, so he's going to destroy the lock.” He darted a glance over his shoulder at Husao then back again to Malick. “It's a bit simple for a grand plot, so I guess I'm not surprised you had to have it explained to you."

  Malick might have scowled at that, but he let it go. “And you agreed to it?” he asked, surprised. Joori was the last person Malick suspected would let Fen walk out of here to do what he meant to do.

  Joori shrugged. “You won't let him go alone, even if you have been forbidden. I don't really care if you risk your soul, as long as he walks away from whatever's to come. And this one—” He jerked his head over his shoulder at Husao. “—he can't stand that his son's Blood is being used.” His mouth pulled down, and he turned to face Husao squarely. “That's why you promised him what you did. You never actually cared about my brother. You helped him because he meant something to your schemes, not because he meant something to you. And the worst part about it is that you have no idea, nor do you care, what that's done to him, on top of everything else."

  Husao had the good grace to look away, but his expression showed none of the remorse Joori was probably looking for. Joori's mouth tightened, and he turned back to Malick. He placed his fist over his heart and dipped his head low. “Kamen-seyh,” he began, caught himself when his voice wobbled a little, and cleared his throat. “Kamen-seyh, there is nothing I can say to—"

  "There isn't,” Malick cut in—partly because there really wasn't, and partly because the entire family truly had suffered more than their share, and he saw no point in adding to it. “It was a mistake, Joori, but you should never have been put into the position of making it. All of us share the burden of what happened today, but it was Umeia and Asai who allowed it to happen. I might have done exactly what you did when the dust settled—I don't mourn for Umeia."

  "But....” Tears were crowding Joori's eyes, and he turned a quick glance at Shig then winced and looked down. “Yori,” he breathed, “and Cai... Caidi."

  "Will go to Wolf and be reborn,” Malick said gently. “You'll see them again, and that's the best I can offer you. You made a mistake. So did I.” Because he'd always had shit timing, and it just kept getting worse. And his mistake was the biggest, when it came down to it. Umeia might not have had Malick's own power, but she'd always been more Temshiel than Malick had been, no matter how he'd tried to outdo her in hardness and indifference. He'd trusted her with his mortal's heart, and he should have known better. He'd been shown better only days ago, and today had still happened.

  Joori shook his head, but couldn't seem to lift his gaze from the floor. “Shig,” he said and just stopped there, like he couldn't make himself say another word.

  "Shig's forgiveness is up to Shig,” Malick said, “and I don't have time to concern myself with it now.” He cut a rueful look at Shig. “At least we know she's not going to kill you.” He was pleased when she managed to pull up a smirk, though it was weary and quite sad.

  Malick turned to Husao, then nodded at Joori. “Is he right? Did you make your promise to Fen for the amulets?"

  Husao's mouth twisted down. “I'm not quite certain an explanation of my reasons is either necessary or yours for the asking."

  Malick's teeth tightened. “Then try demanding. Let's don't forget, Husao—you I can kill."

  "He loves Fen in his way,” Shig put in, her voice tired and dull. “He just doesn't recognize the sentiment.” She sat now on the bottom of the stairs, staring at the lit end of her smoke, absently bobbing it up and down to force tiny smoke rings from the end. “You Temshiel with your hard hearts. You work so hard on forgetting what love is that you have no idea what to do with it when you have it. P'raps if you could remember what it was, you wouldn't have to manipulate so much to get what you want.” She took a drag and blew the smoke out slowly. “And p'raps mortals wouldn't hate and distrust you so much."

  She turned, peered at Malick intently. “You're back at Zero, Kamen. You've started again. Don't fuck it up this time, yeah?"

  Malick's eyebrows shot up, but Husao growled. “Impudent tripe,” he snapped. “You dare to interpret the mind of—"

  "O
h, shut the fuck up,” Malick grated. “That right there—that's what I've always hated about this business. That's what made me want to walk away from every one of you and never have to deal with you again. Immortality doesn't make us better, it makes us afraid to lose it. Power doesn't make us superior, it makes us lazy. We're supposed to be the teachers of mortals, we're supposed to guide them to keep the laws of the gods, and yet when those laws were broken by our own kind, I asked for justice and found I stood alone.” He looked right at Husao, face set. “Even Skel's father would not demand a reckoning from his god, because he was too afraid he might be turned away.

  "Yori lived less than two decades, and still, I'd put her honor against yours any day. Now, make up your fucking mind—are you prepared to take a stand or not?"

  Husao looked away, jaw tight. “I intend to do what I can to the limits of the laws.” His chin lifted, and he looked back at Malick. “That is all I will promise.” He held up his hand when Malick's lip curled up in a sneer. “However,” he went on, “your Catalyst already changes the future, I can see the ripples in Fate winding out from the void of his presence even now, and the laws glance off him just as fluidly as magic does. The Paradox is perhaps the key, but the Catalyst is a battering ram."

  Malick narrowed his eyes a little, but it wasn't at what Husao had said. There was a light tug at his veil, and he angled a sharp look at Joori. “Where is Morin?"

  Joori blinked, his brow beetling when Shig barked out a surprised laugh, which rather answered Malick's question. Damn it all.

  "How was Fen planning on getting out to Yakuli's?” he asked Joori.

  "Steal Asai's coach,” Joori answered immediately. “Limp if he had to."

  "Shit!” Malick shut his eyes, thought about it. He could stop Morin easily, but... perhaps it was better this way. At least if Malick knew where everyone was and he kept them close, he could keep an eye on them all, and Fen was less likely to do something deadly stupid if his brother was with him. “He's not limping,” Malick muttered as he opened his eyes and sighed. “And I imagine he'll get more than one surprise when he gets to Yakuli's.” He looked at Joori's confused frown and rolled his eyes. “You Fens just can't seem to take simple instruction, can you? A fucking family trait, innit?"