[What's Luck Got To Do With It 02.0] Down on Her Luck

by Carmen DeSousa

  Markus fell on his side and pulled me up alongside him, his arms tightening around me. He kissed the top of my head. “I love you, Alaina. I’ve always loved you.”

  I lifted my head to look at Markus. “I love you too, Markus.”

  “But?” he said softly.

  “No but. I do love you. I’ve always loved you, too.”

  He smoothed my hair from my face. “Just not in the same way?”

  “Markus,” I closed my eyes again to assemble my thoughts, “Yes, in the same way. I just need a little bit of time to sort out my life.”

  He pressed his lips to my forehead for a few seconds, then pulled back to look at me. “As long as you stay here and sort out your life, I’ll wait for you, forever.”

  “And if I decide not to give up on acting, to move back to New York?” I hedged.

  He sighed and lowered his forehead to mine. “I don’t know.”

  At least Markus was honest, and that’s all I could ask. I nestled my head beneath his chin and closed my eyes. Markus did feel like home. A home I never wanted to leave. But I had to know for sure. It wouldn’t be right to hurt Markus — again.

  9

  Puppies and Babies, Oh My!

  The sound of barking woke me up, and then toenails tapping on the wood floor grew louder with each passing second. I opened my eyes, but bright streaks of sunshine caused me to shut them again.

  “Is that better?” I heard Markus’s silky voice.

  With my arm over my face, I chanced opening one eye, the one farthest away from the bright white rays.

  Only a few streams of light filtered through, so I opened both my eyes and searched for Markus. It was still too bright.

  Markus set something on the nightstand and then sat down next to me. “Are you always this confused in the morning?”

  “Yeah. I tend to sleep in.” I breathed in and out, attempting to hide a yawn as I nestled myself deeper into the pillow. It smelled so good. Like Markus. “What time is it?”

  “Ten.”

  “Oh!” I sat up. “Oh, no! Mom’s going to be worried.” I’d planned to get up in the middle of the night and sneak home. I never slept through the night. But I’d felt so warm and safe in Markus’s arms.

  “Belinda’s downstairs, and she’s fine. She knew you were with me all day, remember? I drove you to the audition when the Taurus went kaput.”

  I stifled another yawn. “That’s right.” It seemed longer than a day ago that I was crying about losing a role again.

  Markus jutted his chin to the nightstand. “I brought coffee.”

  “Oh. Thank you!” I reached for the cup. “God, you’re wonderful.”

  Markus laughed. “I can cook and wash dishes, too.”

  I squinted at him over the cup as I inhaled the dark roasted goodness. We had the same taste in coffee. “Mmmm.”

  “Drink. I have to go to work.”

  “Work?” I set down the cup. “I thought you only worked in the afternoons.”

  Markus leaned over me and kissed my forehead. “Two thousand words. As soon as I knock out two thousand words, I’m free.”

  “Oh … How long does that take, and free to do what?”

  “A few hours, then my brain typically turns off. I was thinking a walk in Frick Park would be fun, remind you how beautiful it is here, and give Buddy some exercise, and then maybe we could get ice cream at Waffallonia.”

  “Oh … so you’re going to assist me in gaining twenty pounds, are you?”

  “If that’s what you want.” He turned to leave.

  “Ummm, Markus?”

  He stopped in the doorway, and I couldn’t help but notice that he looked just as good in gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt as he had in designer jeans.

  “I need to take a shower.”

  “Help yourself.” He pointed to the white door across from me. “There’re spare toothbrushes beneath the cabinet. I use an electric toothbrush, but every six months I get a free toothbrush from the dentist, and I haven’t had company in a while, so you have your pick.”

  I gazed up at him, surprised by his words, wondering how many toothbrushes were beneath the sink. “Clothes?”

  “Help yourself to anything in my closet.”

  I sighed, then decided to ask for something I was sure he wouldn’t have. “Makeup?”

  “You got me there.” He laughed. “But you don’t need any. I’ve seen you worse.”

  I snatched a pillow from behind me and threw it at him. “I should just go home.”

  Markus caught the pillow up in mid-air. “Okay. But your mother is downstairs. You can leave out the back steps, but you know how Belinda seems to have a sixth sense. Good luck sneaking past her.”

  My mouth dropped open. “What did you tell her?”

  “I didn’t tell her anything. She asked if you stayed here, and I said yes. End of discussion.”

  “She didn’t ask anything else?”

  Markus shook his head. “Why would she? She knew you were with me. But I’m sure she has questions for you.”

  True … My mother had never concerned herself with my hanging out with Markus. She trusted him completely, even when we were in high school. But Markus was right, she was sure to have questions for me, questions I’d have no idea how to answer, since I didn’t know the answers myself. I could walk home, as I’d planned to do last night; the house was only two streets away.

  Markus, seemingly reading the look on my face, reached into his pocket and tossed a set of car keys on the bed. “Just be back by two, okay?”

  I smiled up at him. “Sure.”

  Buddy tugged on the makeshift leash Markus had made from Velcro and a cord from my mother’s shop. When tugging didn’t enable him to chase the birds and children, though, he would reach his head around and try to bite the line.

  Markus didn’t fuss or seem to get irritated, though. He’d simply discipline Buddy softly, and then start walking again the moment Buddy behaved. Buddy seemed way too young to teach, and yet he was learning. Markus would make a great father, I realized, and then tried to shake the image of Markus bouncing a baby on his knee.

  What was I thinking? Both Markus and I were close to turning the big Four-O. Where exactly would we find a child to bounce on his knee?

  “Have you ever thought of being a Big Brother, Markus?” I suddenly asked, since I couldn’t shake the dozens of images of Markus holding a baby that bombarded my brain.

  “My parents are rather old to have children, Laina,” he said through a chuckle.

  “You know what I mean.” I playfully shoved him off the sidewalk, and Buddy, sensing a chance to escape the concrete, bolted into the grass, entangling his leash with Markus’s legs.

  Markus knelt to disentangle Buddy, then reached up and grabbed my hand and tugged me down on top of him. “If you don’t behave, I’ll hold you down and let Buddy give you kisses all over your face, and Lord only knows what he’s put his mouth and tongue into today.”

  Knowing one way to apologize and distract Markus, I extended my head to reach his mouth and kissed him. Not a long kiss; we were in a public park, after all. But a light peck to distract him.

  Markus closed his eyes and kissed me back deeper than I expected, then rolled me to my side and pulled away from my lips. “I wish …”

  Yip! Yip! Yip! Buddy tugged on his leash, struggling to reach a small child that was lumbering toward us.

  An out-of-breath woman caught up to the little boy. “Sorry. We just read a book, and the dog looked exactly like your pup.”

  Markus got to his feet and offered me his hand. “It’s no problem.” He squatted down and took hold of Buddy so he couldn’t jump on the toddler. “You can pet him. Just be careful. He’s a baby.”

  The curly blond-haired toddler inched his way closer. “Ba … by?”

  “He’s a puppy, which is a baby dog, so yes.”

  The little boy squeezed his hand open and closed on Buddy’s head, so Markus took the little boy’s hand and
showed him how to pet the pup.

  “Thank you,” the woman said, sounding embarrassed. “We keep wondering if it’s time to get him a puppy, but we don’t want him to terrorize it.”

  They could adopt Buddy, I realized, but then a pang of regret hit my stomach. I didn’t want anyone to have Buddy but me and — or Markus, I corrected my thoughts.

  “That’s smart,” Markus answered the woman, then looked down at the toddler who was ever so gently trying to pet Buddy, and Buddy didn’t seem to be bothered at all, as some dogs were by young children. “It looks like he’s close.”

  The woman stooped down and scooped up her child. “We’ll talk to Daddy, okay?”

  “O-tay,” the little boy answered her with a sniff.

  “Say bye to the nice doggie,” his mother said.

  The little boy opened and closed his hand. “Bye, doggie.”

  Markus raised Buddy’s paw and waved.

  You’re killing me! I wanted to scream. Puppies and babies. Mommies and Daddies. Markus with a puppy and a baby. All the things I’d never have.

  When the woman disappeared over the hill, Markus turned to me, “Ready for ice cream?”

  “Yes!” Not that an ice cream parlor would be any better, but we needed to get out of here before I started humming the wedding march or lullabies.

  After we’d gorged ourselves on fresh homemade sugar waffles topped with cinnamon ice cream, Markus drove me back to my house, but didn’t turn off the ignition when he pulled into the driveway.

  Not wanting the day to be over, I turned to him. “Wanna come inside?”

  “Sure.”

  It felt like we were in high school again. Was it really possible to start over? To get a second chance? We weren’t teenagers, but we were still just a boy and a girl who’d taken the wrong path at one point. Next to Markus, I felt young again. I felt like I could really start over.

  Markus and Buddy followed me into the mudroom.

  Even though I was stuffed, my mouth watered as soon as I stepped inside the kitchen. “Yum.” I turned to Markus. “It smells like Mom made your favorite.” I walked over to the crockpot. I wanted to lift up the lid, to release all the steam and steal a chunk of chicken that I knew would be tender and flavorful, but she’d smack my butt with the towel if she caught me.

  Markus inhaled deeply, as did Buddy. “Chicken and dumplings and it’s not even my birthday. She must need me to pull an extra shift.” Markus wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me toward him. “I was going to take you out … to a real meal, but I guess …”

  I stared up at Markus. I’d forgotten how tall he was until I was wearing flats and standing right next to him. “A home-cooked meal sounds good. Maybe we can do something later?”

  He kissed my forehead and then my cheek. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Anything good showing at the Manor?”

  “It wouldn’t matter if there was, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyway.”

  I sighed. “More honesty. I’m not used to that.”

  “I told you, Laina. I’m not going to make the same mistake I made twenty years ago by not telling you exactly how I feel.”

  “Okay … Well, maybe we’ll just watch something on Netflix, then. I haven’t binge-watched any series lately. You up for that?”

  “Absolutely, I’m up for binge-watching, like we used to watch Friends episodes back-to-back, then flip to another channel and watch two more.” Buddy wound his way around our legs. “I guess Buddy wants to stay, too, or maybe he just likes seeing us pressed together.”

  “Ahem!” A clearing of a throat had both of us wobbling as Markus struggled to unwind the leash along with Buddy from around our legs.

  My mother walked past us. “I would have thought that the two of you got enough of that last night.”

  Markus finally got Buddy loose. “Sorry, Belinda. New pup still needs lots of training.”

  My mother flashed a smile, then winked at Markus. “No calls from his owners, huh?” She bent down, and Buddy leapt toward her. Apparently anything or anyone below knee-level was open territory. “You are a cute fellow, aren’t you? Who could possibly let a boy as good as you go? Sweet, loving, and smart are hard to find in one package.”

  I cocked my head at Markus, then stared down at my mother. “I’m going to go get cleaned up. You know your way around, Markus.”

  Markus smiled at me innocently, but I wasn’t buying it. The two of them were in cahoots. “I do. I’ll take the pup outside again. Make sure there are no accidents inside. I don’t want him to wear out our welcome.” He marched off to the back door, and I flashed my mother a glare.

  My mother held up her hands. “What did I do?”

  “Nothing.” I charged up the stairs. I wasn’t sure why it bothered me. I’d told myself I wanted to stay in Pittsburgh. But when they ganged up on me it brought out my inner child, and I immediately wanted to buck authority. I wasn’t perfect Raylene, who never got in trouble.

  Speaking of Raylene … Where was she? Why had it felt like she’d avoided me all week? I’d been wanting to ask what happened between her and Russell, since they’d seemed perfect for each other. Maybe she thought Mom was paying more attention to me since I was home, which wasn’t the case at all. I’d barely seen either of them. Only Markus seemed to be available every spare minute. Was Markus normally here? I wondered.

  What if? No … It couldn’t be. I pushed the idea out of my head and headed to Raylene’s room. I needed something to wear.

  One good thing about having a sister in the house was that it doubled my clothing supply. We’d always swapped clothes, so I was sure she wouldn’t mind if I borrowed something. I’d wash clothes in the morning.

  It was after six, but I hadn’t seen Raylene, so I assumed she was still at work. It was hard to tell when she was home, since she got the spare space in the garage because her car was new. I wasn’t sure if any amount of money was worth working as hard as my sister worked.

  To be polite, I still knocked on the door as I opened it. “Ray?” I peeked in and was surprised to see that she was home. But she was in bed. I walked to her bed, which still had the white eyelet comforter she’d had since high school. I’d chosen a purple set. “Ray? You okay?” Apparently, her breakup with Russell was weighing on her hard, which was understandable since they’d been together so long. But Raylene had never let anything bring her down, even a breakup; she’d always taken everything “like a champ,” as Zayde would have said. Raylene had always been Zayde’s strong girl, the clever one, the smart one … I’d been the emotional one.

  Raylene opened her eyes. “Oh, hey, Lain. Yeah. Just tired. Thought I’d catch a nap before dinner.”

  “Oh … I could come back. It’s not important.”

  She yawned. “No, no it’s okay. I’m up. What do you need?”

  “I was wondering … could I borrow something to wear? I haven’t had a chance to wash clothes.”

  Raylene pushed the blanket back and sat up. “Sure. Whatever you want.” A couple seconds later, she walked past her closet into the bathroom.

  “Mom made chicken and dumplings,” I said, just for something to say.

  “I smell it,” Raylene said. “Is Markus here?”

  “Yeah …” I couldn’t tell if that upset her or not. She hadn’t seemed upset the other night when he was here. And Markus hadn’t acted strange around her either. Maybe Markus was as oblivious to Raylene, as I’d been to him in high school. Three years seemed like a lot in high school, but thirty-nine and forty-two were nothing but two numbers of middle-aged people.

  Since Markus lived alone — with two extra toothbrushes beneath his sink — my mother had probably been inviting him to dinner on a regular basis. I was sure that the two extra toothbrushes didn’t mean that he hadn’t dated in a year, but based on the way he’d mentioned them, I took it to mean that he hadn’t had overnight guests. If Markus had been spending a lot of time at the house, it was possible that Raylene —<
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  “What did you decide to wear?” Raylene asked, making me jump.

  “Sorry …” I laughed. “I don’t know why I jumped. Just thinking, I guess. I don’t know what to choose; they’re all so nice. I just need something simple.” All of my sister’s clothes were expensive-looking. Her closet was like a female version of Joe’s closet with all its professional button-down shirts and jackets.

  “Here,” Raylene reached up on a shelf and pulled down a pair of jeans, “You’ll like these. They used to be my favorite.” She slid a few hangers aside, then tugged down a pink Steelers sweatshirt. “You look good in pink. Markus will like that.”

  “Ummm …”

  She furrowed her brow. “Oh, come on. You think I didn’t notice that you didn’t come home last night?”

  I shook my head, worried that maybe I was wrong, maybe she was irritated that I’d come home. “Nothing happened. We just had a few drinks and talked.”

  “Why on earth not?” Raylene planted her hands on her hips. “Markus is crazy about you. He’s always been crazy about you. If you’re staying in Pittsburgh, why wouldn’t you want to see where it might lead?”

  I nodded, but stared my sister deep in the eyes. She never was a good liar. I was the one who could stretch the truth. “Would you like that, Ray? If I stayed … if something became of Markus and me?”

  Raylene stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. “I would love it if you came home, Lain. Mom needs you. Markus needs you. I need you.”

  I leaned back, wanting to assess her eyes. She’d hidden her eyes by hugging me, so I couldn’t tell, when she’d breathed those words, if she’d been completely honest, but she’d sounded sincere.

  I could try a more straightforward approach. “Do you like Markus?”

  She huffed out a laugh, and her eyes stayed on mine this time. “Of course I like Markus. What’s not to like? I think you’d really be happy with him.”

  I sighed. “Yeah … I think so, too.”

  “But …”

  I laughed. “Why does everyone think there’s a but when I say something?”

  “Because I know there’s a but. This is your life, Laina. You need to make sure, whatever you do, that you’re happy. We only have one lifetime, so it’s important that we make the most of it.”