Silenced

by Natasha Larry

  My mouth tightens, and I stare down at the dusty floor. Tap my fingers against my thigh.

  Kiwi sniffles again. “Are you a coward, too?”

  I scoff. “Probably.”

  I don’t see her looking at me, but I feel it. Feel that gaze that probably sent more than one man past the point of madness.

  “They’re just impressions… Impressions of who they were when they came to me.”

  I still feel her gaze. She wants more from me, and for some reason I want to give it. To get it out of me.

  “Who they were when they came to me… or I came to them. Who they are when they hear the call, and who they are when they go to the other side.” I flex my fingers in the air. “Being. Becoming. Passing on.”

  She wipes her face. “That’s what you said to Juliet when you… You know.”

  I smile. “Enslaved her?” I nod. “Yeah.”

  “Is she going into your book?” She asks the question so casually that it stumps me.

  I clear my throat and decide not to answer. It’s her turn now. “So, what did Tripp mean,

  when he said you had to do what you did to Sadie?”

  She glances away and shrugs. “Exactly what he said.”

  “You can give me a better answer than that.”

  She looks back at me. “When my sisters died, my only purpose became finding out who killed them. These people know, but they won’t give me a name until you get this cure for them. I knew, from my sisters, that you wouldn’t cooperate unless Sadie was in real danger. I’m forced to make sure you cooperate.”

  “By what?”

  “My sisters. They’re always in my head. It burns when I’m not on task.”

  I nod, unable to think of anything to say. I’m familiar with burning. I’m familiar with doing things I don’t want to.

  “Look, I’m not excusing it. Using children is just…” She shakes her head. “But I had to.”

  I nod again. “And, what happens when you find their killer? Will the voices go away?”

  She takes her turn to nod. “Everything goes away.”

  My eyes widen. “Not sure what you mean.”

  “When I find my sisters’ killer… I join them on the other side.”

  I stare at her so long she finally looks away from me. Something turns in my stomach. I don’t know what. It’s something else uncomfortable. Something not good. Tripp’s voice echoes in my head. Don’t get too attached.

  This must be why.

  Kiwi is going to die.

  I feel like I should comfort her, but what do I say? Ain’t that a bitch? Sucks to be you? Rattle off the five stages of dying?

  The awkward moment stretches on until Kiwi clears her throat. “Wanna have sex?”

  I raise my eyebrows.

  She’s going to die, but she’s still crazy as hell.

  “It’s the only time the voices stop.”

  I tilt my head to the side.

  She sighs. “When we fuck! When we fuck I don’t hear voices.” She shakes her head. “Damn, you slow.”

  I laugh. “And you’re bad at pillow talk.”

  “But I’m good at everything else.”

  “Not in the mood, girl.”

  She starts to peel off the Kevlar suit clinging to her body. I try to look away, but let’s get real. By the time she lowers her top to her midriff, I’m in the mood.

  “Don’t really feel right,” I say. My voice is weaker than the first time I said I’m not in the mood.

  Moments later, she’s out of the suit and crawling toward me. I lean away from her until I’m on my back. She slithers on top of me, smooth as a snake. Her head lowers, and she presses her lips against my neck.

  I shiver. It’s a good shiver and a bad shiver all at the same time. Her fingers wrestle with my suit, trying to take it off. Trying to get her skin against mine.

  I grab her wrists and squeeze my eyes closed.

  “What’s wrong?” she says against my ear.

  What’s wrong is it doesn’t feel right. She knows too much. Knows I’m the bad guy. I feel like an exposed nerve. Too much feeling. It’s my worst nightmare.

  I force her body up gently so she has to look down at me.

  I shake my head. “Why the hell would you want to be this close to someone who’s done so much…” I bite down on my lower lip. “Bad shit.”

  She shrugs. “To get peace from the other side.” She brushes one of my dreads off my cheek. “I’ve done bad shit too.”

  I stare at her, unable to reply. I want to tell her the whole truth. That sometimes I liked it. That most of the time I like it. Turning all those physical bodies into words on paper.

  But I don’t tell her.

  I am a fucking coward.

  I close my eyes and pull her close. Minutes later, I’m out of my clothes. I force her as close to my body as I can. We don’t fuck around with any foreplay bullshit.

  I grab her around the waist and have to force myself not to slam her down on my sleeping bag. Sliding inside her, I let out a groan. It’s a relief not to be able to think. She pretzels her legs around me and lifts her hips up to meet me.

  I’m not gentle. I stare at her long enough to make sure she doesn’t mind. She grabs my head, entwines her fingers in my hair, and pulls.

  I take her harder.

  Her mouth gapes open, and she lets out a scream. Her body shakes.

  I take her even harder, pressing my hand roughly over her mouth so her moans don’t reach Juliet upstairs. She bites the palm of my hand. I grunt, but I don’t move it. I might even press down harder. And I fuck her harder. So hard I can barely breathe. I rain down sweat on her body.

  Each passing second makes it harder to keep everything bottled in. I want to explode this orgasm.

  I put all my pent up shit into my thrusts. The second she comes, I let myself go, then fall on top of her.

  We lay, drenched in sweat and silence, breathing heavily. The only word spoken the rest of the night comes from her.

  “Dayum.”

  I half smile, a gesture she can’t see, and then slide down into twisted dreams.

  Kiwi and I barely sleep and are up and dressed before Juliet comes strolling down the stairs. Her ice blue eyes skim the room and land on me, then Kiwi, then back to me. I wave a plastic spoon covered in greasy peanut butter, the last of my foodstuffs, at her.

  “Good morning Pike. Kiwi.”

  I narrow my eyes at her. Something about the tightness in her features makes me suspicious. It’s not like her. As far as her face tells, nothing ever gets to Juliet. This is the face of a woman who can get gotten to.

  I raise my eyebrow. A moment later it comes to me, and I lower my head and chuckle.

  “Is something funny this morning, Mr. Richards?”

  I snort. Mr. Richards. “Nothing funny, Ms. Burke.”

  Other than the fact you felt me fucking the shit out of Kiwi last night.

  My smile widens. One of the downfalls of a being a siren’s slave. She’s much more aware of me than she’d like to be.

  But, at least she isn’t dead.

  Yet.

  From in the corner, Kiwi stands up. Her mouth opens, but before she can say anything, the house starts to shake. A loud thump sounds from outside the front door.

  I jump to my feet and reach behind me for my trident.

  Juliet waves her hands at both of us. “That’s probably our supply drop. Listen.”

  I perk my ears. Loud gusts of wind reach them. I eye Juliet as she reaches for her side piece and creeps toward the door. I cross the room and remove the furniture barricading it before she has to ask. Once it’s out of the way, she opens the door slowly. Her yellow hair rushes away from her face and her eyes squint up toward the sky.

  I follow her gaze. “Is that a helicopter?”

  Juliet nods, and her gaze drops to the ground. Three large, brown boxes, dented in on the sides, lie a few feet from the front door.

  “The only helicopter left in the world t
hat we know of. Only used in Compound Six emergencies.” She glances back at me. “Cover me.”

  I nod, pulling out my gun. Kiwi brushes past me to help Juliet slide the boxes into the house. As they do this, I scan the area, ready to take out any threat anywhere near us. As soon as they are done, I slide backward into the house and block off the door again.

  I turn to find Kiwi and Juliet already slicing open the cardboard with knives and lining up supplies on the floor.

  When Juliet makes her way through the last box, she stands and rubs her hands together. “As you know, we’ve lost our support staff. The loss of Lee was major. As such, I’m going to need you two not to die.”

  I shift my gaze in her direction and try not to laugh. “You mean until we get to the crossroads?”

  She shoots me the same look she always gives me. The look that gives nothing away. We stare each down for several seconds before she casts her gaze somewhere between Kiwi and myself.

  “I received a comm from Colonel Jax. We’re on our own from here on out. If we needed to be on our guard before, that goes double for now. I will not lose any more assets. We will not fail this mission.”

  It’s as keyed up as I’ve ever seen her, and her voice still sounds like lukewarm water. She eyes both of us in turn, then nods her head as if our silence satisfied her in some way.

  She claps. “Now, pack as much of this as you can carry. Our transport will be here within the hour. We move out as soon as it does.” She leans over and grabs a few items, then heads back upstairs.

  My gaze follows her until she disappears from sight. When my eyes sweep back to Kiwi, she’s kneeled in front of her pack, rubbing her temples.

  I go to grab my own pack, then sit down beside her. “You alright?”

  She looks sidelong at me, then shrugs. Half a smile paints her face. “Yeah, just a headache.” She starts to pack water into her bag. “I’m used to it.”

  “Happen a lot?” I grab a few cans of beans and water to shove into my own pack.

  “Yeah.” She laughs darkly. “My sisters. They were loud in life, and even louder in death.”

  I nod and don’t say anything. I don’t like this. Getting to know her. Her getting to know me. Even if we weren’t both set on a path to the other side, I just don’t know about her. I still think she’s nuts, but I also find her interesting.

  I don’t like that I find her interesting.

  I finish packing and stand up. Then, I head back across the room to pack my other shit. The last thing I grab is my journal. A wave of nausea crashes into the lining of my stomach. I clutch the book harder, then shove it into my bag.

  I hoist it onto my back and start pacing the room. As I do, I can feel Kiwi’s eyes on me.

  I don’t return her stare. Don’t want to have to guess at what she’s thinking. I have to focus. Focus on getting back to Sadie. Or at least having Kiwi get the cure back to her.

  I’m not betting on getting back.

  The roar of an engine interlaced with the squeal of tires grabs my attention. My eyes dart to the front door.

  Seconds later, Juliet comes bounding down the steps. “That’s our transport. You two ready?”

  We both nod. I trudge to the door to remove the furniture for the last time. When I open the door, the sun streams down into my face. Dust is being kicked up by what looks like a huge, black tank. I squint and use my hands to protect my eyes from the dust and sun.

  “Who drove it here?” Kiwi asks from behind me.

  “It’s remote controlled. Let’s move.” Juliet edges past me and heads straight for the tank. I glance back at Kiwi before following Juliet’s lead. I study her as she gets on the ground on her belly and scooches under the massive, armored vehicle.

  “The fuck?”

  Kiwi pushes past me and mirrors Juliet. I sigh and look up at the blistering sun before doing the same. As soon as I’m under the tank, I turn onto my back and find an entrance hatch. I climb up into it and am met by steel, seats with harnesses, and blinking lights.

  There are two seats in front and a matching two in back. Juliet harnesses herself into the driver seat and punches in what looks like coordinates into a clear display on the control deck of the tank.

  I have to duck to avoid hitting my head on the roof. Awkwardly, I twist off my backpack and toss it behind the two back seats. Then I sit and strap myself in. Kiwi opts to sit up front by Juliet.

  That’s fine by me.

  It isn’t until I’m seated and settled that I notice there is no wheel. Nothing that looks like it controls the vehicle. Yet, the monster on wheels lurches forward.

  Juliet claps and turns around. “Our next stop will be at what used to be Oceana Air station. Last we heard, it was secure. From there we will travel to the crossroads.”

  I nod. I remember the plan. Glancing to my right, I start wishing this damn thing had some windows. Then I remember the hell on earth outside of this tank, and I take the wish back.

  I settle back into my seat. Get as comfortable as I can. As we speed along the back roads, I try not to think of Tripp, or how much worse this journey is going to be without him.

  I must have fallen asleep. I’m jolted awake by a sudden stop. My eyes shoot open, and I’m leaned against my harness. I grunt and dart my gaze around.

  A blurry vision of Juliet is turned in her seat toward me. I blink her into focus.

  “Why don’t you two get out and stretch your legs? I have a private communication I need to take.”

  I yawn and grapple with the buckles on the harness. As soon as I’m free, a black blur sweeps across my vision. I jump and glance down, then back up. Kiwi half grins at me.

  “It’s cold out.”

  Nodding, I take the long, fur-lined coat and slide it on. Then I slip out of the bottom hatch and outside.

  The cold is a bitch that slaps me. With a shudder, I pull the coat tighter around me to keep the bitch out. My feet crunch through ice and thick snow as I trudge away from the tank.

  This is what used to be the south. I know we’re traveling north, but it shouldn’t be this cold. Nowhere should be this cold. I’d almost forgotten about the god’s assault on nature. Harsh winds blow snow in tiny cyclones around us.

  All I can think as I shiver and rub my hands together is that the gods can be real shit burgers. It seems like forever until Juliet is summoning us back into the tank. We are only a few inches from the damn thing, but walking into the wind makes it feel miles away. Kiwi goes up the hatch first, moving slowly like a frosted, wooden doll. By the time I drop to my knees, my muscles feel dead. I manage to slide back under the tank, then I suck in a cold breath and the frost grips every inch of me.

  I lay there for seconds that feel like ages. Finally, Juliet grabs one of my arms, and Kiwi, the other. Together, they pull me back into the tank and close the hatch.

  “F-f-fuck, it’s cold,” I say, shivering on the floor.

  Ignoring my complaints, Juliet steps over me and back into the driver seat.

  With a sigh, she turns and peers down at me. “I just got off the comm with Colonel Jax.”

  My first instinct is to ask if she told him to go fuck himself, but I’m too cold to be a smart ass. I just blow into my hands and listen.

  “He’s informed me that a small community slightly west of here… Wisteria Haven. . . has come under attack. Colonel Jax wants us to make a slight detour to see what we can do for them. He said he wouldn’t normally ask this of us, but these people… They are young and healthy. As such, they will prove valuable once the cure is in circulation.” She stops to glance at Kiwi, then me. Her lips set in a tight line. “I disagree with him completely.”

  This gets my attention.

  The queen bitch disagrees with her fearless leader?

  “I think we should focus on what we left the compound to do. If we lose our lives saving…” She shakes her head. “If we fail, those people are as good as dead, anyway. Maybe even worse. Jaxen doesn’t see it that way.”


  I raise an eyebrow.

  She glances at me, then shakes her head again. “My apologies. Colonel Jax. He doesn’t see it that way.”

  It’s the only time I’ve heard her use his name informally. Must be her way of showing disrespect.

  Interesting.

  “What is attacking them?” Kiwi asks.

  Juliet flips her shiny braid over her shoulder and eyes Kiwi. “Shifters.”

  Something curdles in my gut. I feel sour inside.

  “From where?” Kiwi says.

  Juliet shifts her icy stare to me. “Wee lings. From the Underworld.”

  I’m warm enough to laugh. And I have to laugh. “Oh, the Colonel is on that good shit.” I shake my head, still chuckling.

  Kiwi straightens up. Her shoulders tighten as if she’s guarding herself against bad news.

  “Well, what are we going to do?”

  Juliet doesn’t answer right away. I stare up into her face, searching for something. Anything. As usual, I get nothing. That is, until she speaks.

  “If I disobey orders…”

  A thick nothingness fills the steel vehicle. It seems to swallow her words. She doesn’t have to finish. We all know what will happen to an Enforcer who disobeys, no matter how loyal she’s been until now.

  I clear my throat. “Wee lings are the most dangerous kind of shifter. Are we really going to do this?”

  Juliet turns in her seat and starts to put her harness back on. “We don’t have much of a choice.”

  I glare at her back. “Of course we do. None of us signed up for this shit. We’re not heroes.”

  “I’m not suggesting we are,” Juliet says, punching coordinates into the control panel.

  “He’s right. We should stay on mission,” Kiwi says.

  Juliet snaps her head in Kiwi’s direction. “Oh, is that what you think, girl?”

  My eyes narrow. “Why don’t you watch your mouth, psycho.”

  She starts to turn her head. I feel it. I reach into her with my power like I would a candy jar and stop her movement. A jolt of excitement hits me. My lips twist into a smile. Controlling her always makes me feel good.