Silenced

by Natasha Larry

  She rests the rusty blade against my thigh.

  “Why did you do it?”

  Sucking in air, I glance back up at her and try to be cool. “Do what?”

  She leans forward her greenish eyes stabbing me through the heart. I know what she’s asking. Of course I know what she’s asking.

  I can’t bring myself to admit that to her. The chair I sit in vibrates. That’s when I notice I’m trembling. And I’m cold. I hope she doesn’t ask me outright.

  The scent of sage grows stronger.

  “I think he’s coming out of it,” a voice that doesn’t come from Sadie says. I dart my gaze around, searching for its owner.

  No one else is there.

  My shivering grows violent. More sage.

  Gods, I hope she doesn’t ask me outright.

  Sadie leans in so close to me that our noses almost touch. She wears a full sneer now.

  “Why did you kill my mother?”

  I swallow a ball of dread, open my mouth to reply, but can’t. The violence shaking my body chatters my teeth. My only options are to be cold as shit and shiver my nuts off.

  “Why did you do it?” Her voice rises.

  I shake my head. Find something that resembles my voice. “I d-d-didn’t… She w-w-w-would have…”

  “Why did you kill my mother, Pike? Why did you take her away from me?” She’s yelling outright now. It’s a crazed yelling. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever heard come out of her mouth.

  “N-no. S-s…” I lower my head until my chin touches my chest. I can’t look at her. I can’t see that wild hate in her eyes.

  She keeps screaming, the noise growing more desperate. It turns me into a big ball of nothing. I’m useless. I sit there and start to sob. I start to tell her she would have taken her own life, anyway. That it was my twisted way of helping…

  Something hard strikes me across the face.

  I jerk my head up to find Sadie, unmoved. I shake my head in confusion. Before I can question how she hit me without moving, another hand slaps me across the other cheek.

  I jolt awake.

  The pit fades away, Sadie fades away, and I’m in the unfamiliar room I first found the darkness in.

  “What the… fuck.” I dart my eyes around wildly.

  I find Juliet, looking much better. Beside her is Kiwi, peering down at me with what looks like concern, and seated beside me on the mattress is a figure in a worn, dirty gray cloak.

  He or she is smearing green shit all over me. I jerk away. Then, I notice my leg is on fire. I glance down to find white gauze wrapped around my lower leg. Right where that wee ling took a bite out of me. It smells like sage and rosemary.

  “Who the fuck are you?” I say in a scratchy voice.

  He or she ignores me, opting instead to keep spackling me in green stuff. Has to be some kind of healing balm. It’s my best guess because I feel a little better.

  Still weak as hell, though.

  Still picturing Sadie lobbing my head off with an axe.

  “This is XJ,” Kiwi says. “I found her at a small settlement a few miles from here. It was lucky as shit.”

  I stare at this XJ as she works me over. I can’t tell what she is: Human, or something the gods made.

  I’m weak as hell. That wee ling must have zapped whatever juice I had left.

  “Yes, you’ll have to feed.” The voice comes from XJ. It is a thick, older-sounding voice. Husky. She finally looks at me with one gray eye and one white eye.

  I raise an eyebrow at her, wondering if she somehow heard my thoughts. Not many things in nature can do that. I’ve never met one. She pulls down the hood of her cloak to reveal a shock of purple hair. It’s a mass of curls. Piercings fill her face. Nose. Eyebrow. Lower lip.

  She’s younger than her voice lets on. No more than a few years older than me.

  Without saying another word to me, she stands and turns toward Kiwi. “I’ve done what I can. We’ll have to make use of that volunteer.”

  I try to sit up, but pain presses me down to the mattress.

  “What the hell is going on?” I manage to ask. “What volunteer?”

  Juliet eyes me. “Your song saved this town. We have a volunteer for you to make use of. To get your strength back. So you can heal yourself.”

  I want to roll my eyes, but can’t. “No, no way.”

  “Pike, you don’t really have a choice,” Kiwi says. “There’s still wee ling poison in your system. If you can’t get it out…”

  “You’re dead,” Juliet finishes, brushing her hands together like there’s dirt on them. “And if you’re dead, our mission dies with you. And that can’t happen.”

  I squint up at her. “Maybe I’ll just use you.”

  As usual, her expression doesn’t change. She just stares down at me with Juliet poker face. One day, I will turn that expression into something new. Something that pleases me.

  “You know we can’t do that, Pike,” Kiwi says.

  Before I can reply, a throat clears from the corner of the room. I crane my neck around XJ and spot a middle aged woman, face framed with brown hair. The kind face from before I blacked out. She stands up off a rickety stool and paces toward the group.

  “Um, if it helps the woman volunteer, she has no family.” The kind faced woman wears a weak smile. “No one to miss her. And she was most eager. And as these ladies have told me, you’ll die without… well, whatever it is you do. I really must insist.”

  I almost laugh at her use of the word ladies. And on her insisting that I kill one of her friends. I open my mouth and find nothing to say.

  My throat starts to burn.

  They’re right. I need to sing.

  I need to kill the burning in my veins.

  I don’t even know why I bother with the mental back and forth. I picture Sadie. The real one, not the thing of nightmares, and know I’m going to do it.

  They all know I’m going to do it.

  Again.

  “After he feeds, he should rest here a few days. Just to be safe,” XJ says to Juliet.

  Juliet shakes her head. “That isn’t plausible. We barely have a few hours, let alone a few days.”

  XJ shrugs her broad shoulders. As she does, I notice her height. She’s at least as tall as me. “Do whatever you wish. My recommendation is still a few day’s rest. Even after he heals himself, there is risk of delusions. Hot flashes. Things that may risk… what did you call it, your mission?”

  The two women stare at each other for several seconds.

  Finally, Juliet switches her gaze from XJ to me. “Pike, I need you good to go in a few hours. Are you going to be able to do that?”

  My eyes narrow. Sadie floats in front of them.

  I shrug. “Not like I have a choice.”

  Juliet nods, then flips her hair. I still hate it every time she does it.

  She waves everyone toward the door. “Let’s clear the room.”

  I struggle to sit up as the group staggers out of the door. Kiwi brings up the rear. She turns and gives me a look. I can’t read it. What she’s thinking. What she wants to tell me. I can only tell that she looks pained. Her expression makes me feel that discomfort I’m not a huge fan of.

  Before I can say anything, she ducks out the door.

  As soon as I’m alone, I reach down and gingerly touch my leg. I wince in pain and whip my fingers away like my leg is a hot stove and shake my hand in the air.

  “Gods, that stings,” I mutter to myself.

  My throat starts to burn hotter. I look around the room, hoping to find some source of water. A light knock rings in my ears.

  I glance at the door, my stomach twisting into knots. After a few moments hesitation, I say, “Yeah, come in.”

  As the door creaks open, I manage to swing my legs around the side of the bed and plant my feet on the floor. The door clicks shut, and I glance up. Almost as soon as I do, I burst into bitter laughter.

  “You have got to be shitting me.”

  Th
e volunteer twists one leg around the other and stands with her head slightly down. The shy type. I glance her up and down and shake my head.

  “Get out,” I say, averting my eyes from her face.

  There is no movement. We sit in the room in an awkward silence I want to be rid of as soon as possible. With a sigh, I stare back up at her.

  The look on her face stops the words on my tongue. Her face is flushed, making the freckles stand out even more. She opens her mouth, then shuts it.

  The child still has braces on her teeth for fucks sake.

  I sigh. “You okay?”

  She nods her head too quickly.

  I bite down the pain. Apparently, next to dying, I have to help this girl with her feelings.

  “You got a name?” I say between clenched teeth.

  She nods again. Too quickly. A nervous little thing.

  I stare at her for several seconds, then stop myself from rolling my eyes. “You want to tell me what it is?”

  She shrugs and twirls a finger through her greasy, auburn hair.

  “Well, I’m Pike. Richards.”

  She sniffles, making her seem younger than she is. Then, she opens her mouth and says, “I’m Ana.”

  The muscles in my face feel tight, but I try a smile anyway. “Nice to meet you, Ana.” I fold my hands in my lap and peer up at her. “Now, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

  She looks at the floor and shifts her weight. “It’s just… It’s just you… You don’t approve of me?”

  I have to stop the urge to laugh. And it’s a very strong urge. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep it in. I gesture toward her with one hand.

  “Ana, how old are you?”

  She peers up at me through long eyelashes. “Twenty.”

  I cringe. She looks younger than she is. I lean away from her almost involuntarily.

  I point at the door behind her. “Yeah, you need to get the hel… You need to leave, girl.”

  She shakes her head and creeps toward me on tip toes. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

  I hold up both hands to stop her. “Look, you don’t need to understand. You just gotta go.”

  “Please.” She brings her hands together in front of her face like she’s in prayer. “It’s an honor for me to make this sacrifice for you.”

  Something about her words makes. Me. Snap.

  I start laughing. Not regular laughing. Crazy, maniacal laughter. Whatever expression my face wears with this laugh must make Ana uncomfortable. She backs away until she’s pressed tightly against the door.

  If I could stand, I would. But the laughing hurts enough on its own.

  “You’re only twenty,” I sputter once my laughter fizzles out. “Do you even know what the hell you volunteered for?”

  She nods her head with enthusiasm. “Yes, my sacrifice will mean that you’ll be strong enough to get the cure. To put the world back right again.” She smiles, flashing the wires on her teeth at me. I’ve seen grown women with braces, but again, it makes her look much too young.

  “It’s an honor to go out in service of a hero,” she says.

  I scoff. That’s one word I’ve never been called.

  Bastard, asshole, killer, sure. Hero? Never.

  “I’m no hero.” Again, I point at the door behind her. “Please, go.”

  She doesn’t budge. “But, you are.” She smiles again, this time it’s softer. “You’re a siren. You came here and saved us. You’ll continue on and save the world.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “What do you like to do, Ana?”

  She presses her lips together. “What?”

  “Before all this.” I lift my brow higher. “What did you like to do?”

  “Um.” She shrugs. “I’d take care of my baby brother… And I’d write.”

  I nod. “Did you love it? The writing?”

  She smiles once more, but this time she sports a glint in her eyes. It’s a nice picture. I know that glint. As a Muse, I often fuel that glint.

  “Here’s how this is actually going to go down. You’re going to go on… write some awesome shit…” I manage a pained smile for her. “And I’m going to get my ass out of this bed and save the world.”

  She breaks out into a fourth smile. The one I’ll remember her for. Then she rushes forward and throws her arms around my neck. I try not to wince at the pain. After a few seconds, I pat her on the back.

  “Alright, girl, gon’ and get out of here.”

  She stands up, sniffles, and wipes a tear from her cheek. “You sure you’re going to be alright?”

  I nod. “I’ll be just fine.”

  She leans over and kisses my cheek, then turns on her heels and leaves. As soon as she’s gone, I close my eyes.

  The pain from the wee ling venom is twisting my insides in pain. The sweats are coming back. I need a plan B. As I lay down, the door creaks open again. Soon, Kiwi is standing over me.

  We stare at each other for several moments.

  “You didn’t kill her.” Kiwi bites down on her lip.

  The way she says it, with hushed surprise, pisses me off. I push the anger down. I’ve got bigger problems. “Yeah, she was a fucking kid.”

  Kiwi nods, then sits on the edge of my bed. “Well, what are you going to do?”

  I shrug. “Gloat? I told you guys this was a bad idea.”

  She glares at me. “Well, you weren’t supposed to get bitten.”

  I laugh. It comes out coarse and tired. “Sorry for not sticking to the plan.”

  She falls into silence and I’m happy to join her there. I start to drift off when she says, “Can you use me?”

  My eyes shoot open. Shaking my head, I say, “Nah, it works best with humans. I’ve done it a few times to other descendants… It never ends well.”

  “Well, you have to do something. Why don’t you just… Just have your pick of the town? Plenty of others here. I’m sure there’s an asshole that wouldn’t weigh on your conscious.”

  I laugh. Then I close my eyes. I won’t kill anyone this time, but there is something I can do. Something obvious.

  It’s not a perfect plan, but it will do.

  “What are you smiling about?” Kiwi says.

  I glance at her and try to make my expression neutral.

  “Go get me Juliet,” I say in a soft voice.

  Her eyes narrow. “For what?”

  “Just—h” I wave her off. “—go get her. We need to have a little talk.”

  Juliet comes in and gives me as much of a glare as she’s capable of. Then, she flips her hair and crosses her arms over her chest.

  I actually manage a smile. Classic Juliet.

  “Pike,” she says and she inches toward me. “We don’t have time for this. I need you to do what you need to do. Can you do that for me?”

  I narrow my eyes, shake my head. “No, I can’t.”

  “What?”

  I shrug. “I’m not going to kill any of these people.”

  Juliet sighs and shakes her head. “Bad time to grow a conscience.”

  “Maybe.” I lean forward as much as I can. I grind my teeth at the pain. “But we came here to save these people, and you sent in a little girl for me to kill.”

  She scoffs. “She volunteered.”

  “She has her whole life in front of her.”

  Juliet looks down at me. With a slight smile, she nods. “I guess you’ve forgotten about Sadie.”

  I match her smug little smile with one of my own.

  “No, I remember her.” I lean forward just a bit more. “And, do you remember me?”

  She starts to open her mouth when I whistle. Her eyes go wide, and she crashes to her knees. Already feeling stronger, I sit all the way up and lean over her.

  “What are you doing?” She gasps.

  I wink at her and whistle again. She collapses onto her face. Siphoning off her makes me strong enough to stand. The burning in my blood, in my throat, is almost gone. I reach over and grab her by the neck, forcing her to
stand up with me.

  Turning her around, I look down into her face.

  Her expression hasn’t changed.

  “Tsk, tsk.” That won’t do.

  I whistle a third time. A long, sensual tune. The ice blue of her eyes go white as I ride my siren high.

  Her mouth opens wide, but she can’t speak. And something dances in her eyes. Something different. Something that feels like fear.

  I smile wide, then drop her.

  “I’m tired, Juliet. Of being your bitch. Of being Compound Six’s bitch.” I toss her onto the bed and start to pace the room. “I come out here and put my black ass on the line. You put Sadie’s life on the line. We lose Tripp, and now…” I realize I’m yelling, and I spin around to take in Juliet.

  She is gasping for air, clawing at her own throat.

  “And now, you ask me to kill a fucking child.” I place my hand beside my head, then descend on her. “Consider my god damned limit reached, bitch. If you ask me if I can do anything one more time, I will fucking kill you.”

  With that, I sit down, let out a final whistle, then loosen my control on her.

  Her remaining link to me will keep her alive. Just barely.

  And not for long.

  Even when I’m strong enough to stand and go outside, we don’t set out. We probably should, but darkness has cast itself all over the ground, and it’s just not smart to move at night.

  Not with monsters everywhere.

  Fires burn all over the place. A main fire rushes toward the sky from the middle of the town, and smaller fires burn here and there, giving off some nasty stench.

  Wee ling bodies being burned.

  Little fuckers.

  I take a seat around the main fire beside Kiwi, who presses herself in close to me and whispers, “You look better.”

  I grin. “You flirting with me, girl?”

  She ignores my charm and glances around at all the faces around the fire. I notice they’re all shooting looks our way. Fascinated looks. Curious looks. Awed looks.

  “No one here is dead,” Kiwi says to me softly.

  I nod. “No one.”

  She’s quiet for a little while, but I can feel her gaze on me. Feel her question burning a hole in my side. I don’t give her the obvious answer she’s fishing for. Might be dangerous; the woman can shoot lasers from her eyes.