Silenced

by Natasha Larry

  She gives me a look, like a challenge. “Whatever. You know you could kill me easily, too.”

  I nod. “Without a thought.”

  She swats at me, and I duck out of her reach. “Bitch ass.” My laugh is tired when it comes out. “If it makes you feel any better, I’d fuck you a few more times first.”

  With a glare, she hisses at me, but the hiss quickly dissolves into a giggle. It’s a nice sound. When she laughs, her face is softer. I can almost forget this woman could probably kick my ass.

  “Yeah, me too,” she finally says.

  I grin and stare at the tank floor, not knowing what to say now. I try damn hard not to think. I try, and fail. Like I failed to not kill Ana.

  Like I failed Sadie so many times.

  I sigh. “I don’t even know why I’m doing this shit anymore.”

  Kiwi doesn’t say anything for a few moments, then she clears her throat. “For Sadie. And because…. Because it’s right.”

  I peer up at her. “Right?” I rub my eyebrow. “Nothing about this feels right.”

  “It will.”

  “Yeah? You sure about that?”

  She nods. “Yes.” She stretches her legs out. “And besides, what choice do we have? Live like this?”

  I roll over on my side and prop my head up on my hand. “It’s like choosing between two shit bombs about to explode. You go with the one furthest from you to minimize the shit that’s going to spray you in the face.”

  Her face scrunches up. “Nice metaphor.”

  “Well?”

  She sighs. “Yeah, I guess you can look at it that way. But, you are saving people.”

  “People that want to make me their bitch. People that made me kill an innocent…” My throat tightens, and I shake my head. No need to finish that thought.

  “You’ll find a way out from under them.”

  “I’m not so sure.”

  “I am.”

  I lock eyes with her and furrow my brows. “Why?”

  She half smiles. “I believe in you, dumbass.”

  I shake my head. “Why?”

  She extends her arms out behind her and lounges back. “Mostly because Tripp believed in you.”

  Hearing his name is like having tiny rodents scratch up my chest cavity. I close my eyes. I can’t go there. I can’t remember losing him.

  Not after seeing Sadie.

  Not after killing Ana.

  I’ll lose my footing and won’t be able to stand. And I have to stand. I have to keep going.

  I open my eyes and try on a smile. I try on having a short memory. I try forgetting all the shit bombs.

  “I really should have given him the dick before he died.”

  Kiwi’s eyes widen, then she bursts into laughter. Not just any laughter. She sounds like a horse-dolphin cross breed. It’s almost ear splitting, but contagious. I laugh with her. And it comes easily. After all that’s happened, it comes easily.

  When our laughter dies down, I stare at her and smile. A warm, cookies just came out of the oven smile.

  “Thanks Kiwi.”

  She frowns. “For what?”

  I roll my eyes because I think it’s obvious. “For not leaving,” I finally say.

  She nods. “No problem. We’re a team.”

  I sit up slowly, still staring at her. She freezes in the wake of my movement.

  “Yeah? Is that all we are? Teamies?”

  Her mouth falls open. I lean over and press my lips to hers. Her mouth moves against mine in the warmest kiss I’ve ever received.

  It’s also the kiss that made me hard the quickest.

  I’m so wrapped up in the kiss that when she pulls away, it’s like having my head snatched out of water after I’ve been under a long time.

  I open my eyes. I’m about to ask what’s wrong when she rears back and cracks me across the face with a fist. Pain slices into all the good stuff I was feeling a second ago. I grab my cheek and gape at her.

  “Ow! What the fuck?”

  She backs away from me. “What the hell are you doing?”

  I drop my hand and stare at her like a dumbass. “What?”

  “I said, what are you doing?”

  I feel like this is a test. “Kissing you?”

  She hisses. “Obviously. Why are you kissing me?”

  I should have studied my text book for dealing with crazy women before this test. “Uh, it felt like a kissy moment?”

  “You can’t be frickin’ kissing me!”

  I gesture to my warm cheek that feels like its swelling already. “Clearly.”

  Crossing her arms across her chest, she says, “Just when I decide to give you some credit, it turns out you really are a dumbass.”

  Failing the test, I close my eyes and rub my forehead. “Okay, I’m not going to get offended. I’m just going to ask, what the hell?”

  She doesn’t respond, so I open my eyes and widen them at her.

  She looks at me, expression tight, like I’m the dumbest thing she’s ever had the displeasure of speaking to.

  “I can’t be intimate with you, Pike. I can’t feel anything for you.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Well, a little too late, don’t cha think? We’ve already fucked.”

  “I know.”

  I expect her to explain herself so I wait. She doesn’t. She acts like that I know.

  “Okay, like we’ve fucked hardcore. As in, hard core fucking.”

  She nods. “I was there.”

  This time I raise both eyebrows. One just isn’t enough. “And, sex is intimate…”

  She shakes her head. “Not like that. Not like kissing.”

  I roll my eyes. “You’ve seen too many chick flicks.”

  “No, actually I haven’t. It’s true.”

  I sigh. “So, you didn’t like it?”

  “No!” She hisses. “I did. Why the hell did you have to do that to me?”

  She’s more upset by the fact that I kissed her than by the fact that I just killed someone. I don’t know what to call that.

  I hold up my hands. “Okay, calm down. I really don’t get why you’re so. . .upset.”

  I almost said crazy. That would not be good.

  “Because, Pike.” Her shoulders deflate. “I’m going to die.”

  Her words pump suffocating silence into the room. The kind you choke on. The kind you run away from. As hard as I try to forget them, the shit bombs keep on dropping.

  “So I can’t feel something for you, because I’m as good as dead.” Tears form in her vast eyes, but she quickly blinks them back. “And you just made me feel something.”

  I have no idea what the hell to say. I don’t know what this is with her. I don’t know what I’m feeling, only that it’s something, which is better than nothing. She’s the first woman to bring this out in me.

  Sadie’s mother didn’t.

  Nor any of the female company I’ve ever kept.

  I don’t know what it is, I just know that I want it in the middle of this shit storm I’m in. It feels like a weapon, and I’m not ready to put it down.

  I reach out for her arm. She slaps my hand away. I draw back.

  “Come on, Kiwi.”

  “No, Pike.”

  I reach for her again. This time, she doesn’t fight. She hisses, but she lets me pull her close to me, anyway. It’s not until I wrap my arms around her tighter that she starts to struggle.

  “If you kiss me again, I’ll make you kill yourself.”

  I laugh. “I can’t believe I still want to.”

  She frowns and peers up at me. “Why?”

  I laugh harder. “Because you’re kind of fucking cracked.”

  Her frown deepens. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “Girl.” I cup her face in my hands. “Just shut up.” I press my lips to hers again. She beats against my chest. Resists me. I pull inches away from her and peer down into her eyes. “Come on, Kiwi. Feel something with me.”

  She freezes. I inch her
closer.

  “Feel something with me.” Then I brush my lips against hers. She’s still as ice water at first, then slowly, she starts to kiss me back. My body fills with warmth like I’m drinking hot coco. I drink her in.

  As I kiss her deeper, I lean back and pull her on top of me. I grip her firm ass and squeeze her closer. With a gasp, she lifts up and frowns down at me.

  “What? What’s wrong?” I rub her back, trying to keep another crazy outburst tucked inside her. I hate the blue balls.

  “I don’t wanna do it in a tank.” She sniffs. “It smells like gun powder.”

  I glance around. “Well, we can… We can go outside.”

  She grins and brushes my hair away from my face. “Can’t you just do that siren shit?”

  I mirror her smile and wink at her. “Oh, you want me to do my thing?”

  “Will it kill me?”

  “No, it only works that way on humans and lesser descendants.”

  She smiles. “Then I want you to do it.”

  “Where you wanna be girl?”

  Her lips purse and her gaze drifts toward the ceiling. “Hm.” Her eyes slowly drop back to my face. “I’ve always wanted to fuck in a textile factory.”

  I freeze.

  Talk about random as all fuck.

  “Um.” I sit up slightly. “Like, where they make shirts?”

  She smiles, wide and sexy. “And pants.”

  I stare at her. “But, why?”

  She frowns. “Does it matter?”

  After thinking about that for a few seconds, I decide that no, it doesn’t. I reach into my memory bank for a textile factory. It’s not as hard as I thought it would be, because I can feel her thinking about it. I reach in through her skin and draw out the fantasy. Then I project it all around us.

  We’re laid out on a long table with large sewing machines all around us. It smells like cotton, lavender, and sweat. The table is wet with perspiration. The lighting is dim.

  “Yeah,” Kiwi says, clasping her hands around my neck. “This is hot.”

  I stare down at her. “This is weird.”

  “Just go with it.” She reaches up and kisses me again. I fall into the kiss and decide to listen to her advice.

  Kinda stupid to not listen to a woman when she’s about to give you some.

  Without taking my lips away from hers, I reach for her shoulders and start to slide her suit down. Once her suit is at her navel, I stop and trace my fingers up and down her arms. Between those fantastic brown tits. From her navel to her throat. She shivers in my grasp.

  I like that.

  I pull away and press my lips to her neck. She clings tighter to me. Opens her legs and wraps them around me. Her lips part in a moan. I want more of that. I like to hear her enjoying herself.

  I kiss down between her breasts. Flick my tongue out across her left nipple as I pinch the right one between my thumb and index finger. She shudders. I continue my journey down her body, kissing my way toward her navel. Her hands shoot out to the edges of the table. I grin as I keep kissing her, down and down, pulling the rest of her suit off as I go past her navel, down the insides of her thighs, toward her ankles.

  “Mm, Pike.” She digs her fingers in my hair and pulls.

  I grin as I run my lips back up her thighs. My eyes slide closed as I flick her clit with the tip of my tongue.

  She bolts upright, and I stumble backward. I narrow my eyes at her. She’s seated, cross legged and covering herself like that Venus painting, only with short hair. I lose concentration, and we’re back in the tank.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she says.

  I open my mouth and stare at her. I shrug my shoulders. Once. Twice. Three times. No idea what to say.

  “I asked you a question!”

  I shake my head, then clear my throat. “Um, I was…” I know what I was doing, but the words don’t come easy. “I was… going down on you.”

  “What?”

  I furrow my eyebrows. I can’t figure out if she’s serious or not. She certainly looks serious, but there’s no way she doesn’t know what I’m talking about. I inch closer to her.

  “Um, I was going down on you.” I place my hand at the fold in her legs. “I was kissing you right here, and if you’ll open up, I can do it again.” I wink at her.

  She swiftly shakes her head. “No, I don’t want you to.”

  That’s a first.

  “Um, why?”

  “Because it’s weird. Just fuck me like a normal guy.”

  I scratch my eyebrow with my pinkie nail. “Um, I assure you that it is normal. And if you’ve never been kissed down there, you’ve been with some lame ass dudes.”

  She scowls at me. It only makes me want to eat her up more. I have to laugh.

  “Look, cray. Just lay down and let me blow your mind.”

  She pouts, a move I’ve never seen on her face, and shakes her head again. With a sigh, I gently push her down by the shoulders. She gives me resistance at first, then eventually allows me to push her back to the floor.

  Her body is a taut rubber band. I massage my hands into her legs.

  “Relax,” I say as I wrap my arms around her upper thighs.

  I glance up at her before I dive and flick my tongue over her clitoris again. She flinches. I smile. Then, I wrap my lips around her and gently suck. Her body tightens even more, then, just as suddenly, she relaxes and lets out a loud moan.

  That’s more like it. I alternate between sucking and tongue flicking. In a matter of seconds, she comes in my mouth. As soon as she does, she tries to scoot away from me. I tighten my grip on her thighs. Then I blow on her so she’s not so sensitive, because I want more, and I intend to get more.

  As soon as I’m sure she’s ready, I go back to licking her, slow, like a Blow Pop. I don’t want to get to the gum too soon. Gently, I slide one finger deep inside her, then two.

  “Oh, Pike! My gods!” Her body raises up into the air like some exorcist shit.

  She starts to scream so loud I’m afraid she’ll shatter the armored steel around us. Then I remember that’s more my thing.

  I love every second of it. Everything about it. The way she tastes. The way her body contorts with pleasure. The way she hollers my name. The way she shakes like she’s having a spell when she can’t take any more.

  Then, and only then, do I pull away. Subtly, I wipe my mouth and smile down at her.

  She closes her eyes. “Oh.” Huff. “My.” Huff. “Shiyay.”

  I burst into laughter as she wipes sweat from her brow. “What in the hell is a shiyay?”

  She shakes her head. Her eyes are glazed over, and she appears bewildered.

  “I have no idea. I just know that was amazing.”

  I smile. “I love that I can make you feel that way.”

  She arches an eyebrow. “You love it?”

  I half scowl. “I like it.”

  With a half-smile, she climbs into my lap. “Well, I kinda like doing the fury shuffle with you.”

  I would have laughed, but she slides herself down onto me and humps the laughter right out of me. We don’t do it like we usually. Hard. Fast. Desperate.

  We do it slow. I pull her bang back away from her eyes and peer into them. We fuck deliberately. Feeling her against me in this way makes me shiver. She’s a summer breeze hitting me. I close my eyes and rest my head on her shoulder and make being inside her last as long as possible.

  I come hard as hell, and she comes with me. Soon after, I fall asleep and wake up what seems like minutes later with someone kicking me in the back.

  My eyes snap open, and I look up at blurry surroundings. Juliet stands in the glint of yellow, morning light. I squint up at her.

  “What the hell do you want?” I ask.

  Under me, Kiwi groans. I glance down at her. It’s only then that I realize we’re still naked, wrapped around each other. I contort my body to shield hers. Seems like the gentlemanly thing to do.

  Then, I stare back up at
evil bitch. “What?”

  She grins and flips that frickin’ hair. “I hope you had a good night, because it’s time to go. I need you two to get dressed. Can you do that for me?”

  My eyes narrow. Her expression doesn’t change.

  “I’ll wait outside. You have five minutes.” She kneels toward the hatch and places a hand on the handle. “By the way, how’d you enjoy that Ana meal last night? You look well fed.”

  Before I can respond, she ducks out of the hatch and I imagine ripping out that hair she’s always flipping, one strand at a time. I press my lips together. It was a shitty comment. I decide to ignore it. Kiwi was right. I have to get this cure to Sadie and find a way to get out from Colonel Jax’s thumb.

  Gently, I nudge Kiwi awake. She lets out a groan and stirs. After a few seconds, she sits up and blinks up at me.

  “Juliet was just here,” I say. “Time to go.”

  She lets out a huge yawn, which I mirror, then nods her head. Together, we get dressed while shooting almost shy looks at one another.

  This shit is weird.

  It doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as it did, but it’s still weird.

  True to her word, Juliet is back inside the tank within five minutes. As she sits in her seat and starts up the tank, I expect Kiwi to take her place beside her. Instead, she straps into the seat beside me. The tank lurches forward, then comes to a sudden stop.

  “What is she doing?” Juliet says.

  I glance up and notice a figure blocking our passage. My eyes narrow. It’s XJ.

  “She wants to talk to me,” I say under my breath.

  Juliet turns and stares at me. “How do you know that?”

  I shrug as an urgency presses down on me. Without thinking, I undo my harness.

  “What are you doing?” Kiwi asks as I make my way to the hatch.

  Without looking at her, I mutter, “She needs to talk to me.”

  “Make it quick, Pike,” Juliet says. It’s the last thing I hear before I duck outside.

  Slowly, I round the tank. XJ saunters over to meet me.

  “What is it?” I ask, again, without thinking.

  XJ, her face half hidden by her hood, smiles. She gestures me forward with her hand. “Take a little walk with me, siren.”

  I cross my arms over my chest. “It’s Pike.”