I Take It Back

by Liza James

  Is this what everyone was always talking about? The passion, the heat, the sparks?

  Because hell, it sure felt like it.

  My hands had a mind of their own as they travelled down Cade’s chest, sliding across his muscular abs and inspected every crevice and dip in his skin. I brought one hand back up, wrapping across the back of his neck and sliding into his dark hair. I closed my fingers and tugged gently when a soft groan escaped his lips. It was the sexiest noise I had ever heard, sending vibrations through my body and across every limb.

  “Fuck, Bambi. You’re killing me,” he said as he picked me up and I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. He carried me over to the edge of the pool where there was an opening that led to the jacuzzi. I released my hold on him and jumped over the small wall, sliding into the heated water and onto the seated ridge that ran around the edge.

  Damn, did that feel good.

  Cade was immediately in front of me again and picked up my legs, bringing them back around his waist. He leaned into me and I could feel his thick sex under his boxers as it grinded against me. Every time he pushed against me, the friction of us sent my mind into a whirlwind. I had never felt anything like this need before. Not when I had sex, not when I was with Tyler, not with anyone else. It was utterly new and incomprehensible, yet so natural and instinctive.

  Cade’s mouth dropped a kiss along my jawline, and then, dropping lower, he sucked and nipped at my neck. My head fell to the side as I gave him more access, and he responded by sliding his tongue across my collarbone.

  “Take this off,” he demanded, reaching for the hem of Tyler’s shirt. I had zero hesitations as I arched my back and lifted my arms for him. “I don’t want to see this on you again.” His voice was final, letting me know that there wasn’t any room for discussion. I nodded in agreement, and he lifted the shirt up and over my head, tossing it to the side.

  His eyes immediately dropped down to my chest, which was covered by a thin, black lace bra that I had worn to match my dress tonight. “You are so sexy, Bambi. You know that, right?” His fingers slid under one of my straps and he gently pulled it down my arm. Without answering him, I brought my hand back to the familiar place on his neck and pulled him down to me. But he didn’t kiss my lips this time.

  Without disappointment, he began at the swell of my chest and slowly shifted downward. His hand moved up to one of my breasts, brushing against the tight, hard tip, and filling my body with that electrifying heat. I arched my back, offering him to take more of me as his mouth covered the tip and sent a wave of pleasure spearing through me. The way his tongue licked and danced over my swollen nipple had me begging to feel him in other places. He started out gently, sucking and pulling, bringing me slowly to a crest building in the distance. I was surprised when his teeth scraped and nipped across my sensitive point, but then he licked and soothed the sharp bite of pleasure he inflicted. I gasped his name as a sweet heat erupted in my chest and I felt him smile against my smooth skin in response.

  I moaned as he began working my other nipple with his fingers, pulling and pinching in the most perfect way imaginable. With every move I made, arching or pulling or tugging at his hair, he knew exactly what he was doing to me. I had never had an orgasm, but this was by the far the closest I had ever come to it.

  I tried to focus my mind, but the fact that it was staying fuzzy and forcing me out of it was something I had never experienced before. I was so lost in pleasure that I couldn’t focus on anything other than Cade’s amazing tongue, sliding across my body and tasting every inch of me.

  I let my hand fall from his neck, reaching downward for his hard cock through his boxers. Surprisingly, one of the things that turned me on the most was how much I was turning him on. The fact that I was responsible for making him this hard was oddly satisfying in a way I didn’t understand.

  I slid my fingers into the waist band of his boxers, eager to wrap my hand around his long, heavy shaft. Intuitively, I knew how different this felt compared to my time with Tyler. It was more of a means to an end earlier tonight, more like a ‘how can we get this done and over with as quickly as possible?’ But with Cade, I wanted to learn and study every inch of his body. I wanted to memorize the shape of his face and lines of his chest. I wanted to relish in every detail of the blazing fire spreading throughout my body, the tightening of a whip within me as it pulled and pulled and pulled before snapping. But most of all, I wanted to make him feel as good as he was making me feel.

  When I began sliding my hand up and down his sex, I was rewarded with a deep, sexual growl against my neck. He had forsaken my chest, but only to find my mouth with his, pushing us into a deep, fiery kiss. Our tongues were tied up in each other and the ache between my thighs was growing at a rapid pace, begging for something so much more.

  I continued pumping him, enjoying the feeling of him getting more and more worked up with every minute. His hands moved to grip my thighs as he quickly eased them apart. He slid his hand down to my core, to the center of where this need was blooming and growing. He brushed one finger up and down me, over my panties in a way that had my breath hitching in anticipation.

  “Please, Cade,” I managed to choke out as I thrusted my hips against his hand.

  “I need to hear you say it.” He pushed his fingers harder against the thin fabric separating us, teasing me.

  “Touch me, please.” I moaned, and instantly he yanked my panties off of me and down my legs. His grip was harder now, more intense and eager. He pushed my legs even farther apart, completely exposing myself to him. He leaned in to kiss me again as his teeth nipped and pulled my bottom lip into his mouth. Almost as if he had planned it, he sank one finger deep inside me at the exact moment that he gently bit my lip. This sweet, sexual balance between pleasure and pain had never been something I thought I might enjoy. But now, I couldn’t get enough of it.

  I gasped and arched back in pleasure, not pain, but he immediately pulled himself from me and gripped my chin in his hand.

  “Are you okay? Tell me,” he said, genuine concern washing across his face.

  “Don’t stop,” I breathed, barely above a whisper, but my voice was practically being ripped from my body. I grabbed his hand and placed it back between my thighs, begging him to go back to what he was doing to me.

  Thankfully, he did, and as I pumped his hard cock with one hand, his finger slid in and out of me at the same pace. As I ground my hips against his hand, he used his thumb to work the most sensitive part of me. I faltered in my rhythm as that cord inside of me continued tightening and was so close to snapping. But I didn’t want this to end, I wanted to stay in this moment a little longer, in this connection to him. I paused at the upstroke of each touch I gave him, using my thumb to slide across his tip and around his head. I could tell he was close, too, his rhythm becoming a little sloppier, our kisses becoming a chaotic, desperate need for each other.

  “You feel so good, baby. I want to fuck you so badly,” he breathed against my ear. My body reacted to his immediately and without control as I pushed my hips harder against his and images of us together flashed through my mind.

  “Do it,” I moaned against his ear before I slid my tongue down his jaw and worked him further.

  “No, not like this. When we fuck, it won’t be out here in the frat pool. And you won’t be wearing another man’s clothes,” he said, the commanding tone in voice only turning me on more. It was the oddest feeling, being disappointed and even more aroused at the anticipation of what could happy between us. “But I will make you come like this, right here, right now.” Confidence emanated through his words.

  His hand kept working me at a much quicker pace, encouraging that wave of pleasure to come to a crashing collapse. I didn’t think I could hold on much longer. My hips moved with him in sync as my hand worked his erection at the same time; it was overwhelming in the best ways. I was so close to coming, my breathing becoming quick and shallow as he slid another finger inside me in one quick,
swift movement.

  An honest, true, purely orgasmic moan slipped from my mouth, and I found myself seeking refuge in the curve of his neck, biting down hard while I came completely undone. The waves of pleasure were completely enveloping me, drowning me in a current I had never experienced before.

  He barked my name as his orgasm followed mine. My head fell forward and rested against his shoulder as I caught my breath and let my head clear.

  “Bambi, you bit the shit out of me.” He laughed, rubbing his hand over his neck where my teeth had left a deep impression, no doubt almost breaking skin.

  “I’m sorry, I haven’t ever ... I didn’t know ...” I stumbled through the words but had no idea how to finish the sentence.

  “You what?” He pushed as he sought my face for an answer.

  “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry,” I finished. There was no way in hell I was telling him that was my first orgasm.

  “Don’t be sorry, it was hot. I promise. I enjoyed myself, and obviously you did, too.” He was smiling again, and even though this was the best I had ever felt, I was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that I wasn’t wearing any panties and my bra was half way down my body. I immediately shuffled to pull myself back together and snatched my panties that were floating a few inches away from us.

  I quickly moved to get out of the pool, but Cade grabbed my hand and stopped me.

  “Hey, you’re okay, right?” he asked, worry hidden behind his eyes. “It’s just a hookup, not a big deal.”

  Ouch.

  He was trying to reassure me, but now that the heated haze had cleared and my mind was back on a working frequency, I was embarrassed. Not because I was ashamed of what we had done, but because I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t be another one of Cade’s bunnies who followed him around and threw themselves at him. But here I was, four AM in a jacuzzi with him, half naked, and relishing in my post-orgasmic cloud. Just another notch on the belt.

  “I’m fine, Cade. But I have to go, I told Savannah I’d be back at the dorm this morning,” I said as I locked all of those emotions tightly up inside of me. I jumped out of the jacuzzi and reached for Tyler’s shirt and boxers that were carelessly tossed aside. An instant pang of guilt shot through me as I touched his clothes and thought of what happened earlier with him.

  “No. I told you, I don’t want to see you in his clothes.” His voice was strong now with a hint of annoyance lacing his tone.

  “I don’t have anything else to wear. My dress is still upstairs in his room,” I said, frustrated at how this experience was quickly plummeting into regret territory. I didn’t even want to put Tyler’s clothes back on, they were soaking wet and just another memory of something I wished I could take back.

  “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He quickly jumped out and jogged toward the backdoor. He emerged not even two minutes later with sweat pants and a big shirt as he passed them over to me with a towel.

  “Are these yours?” I asked, wondering what the big deal was about the clothes. It wasn’t like we were together. Hell, it wasn’t like he had any sort of feelings for me at all. He made that perfectly clear with his hookup comment.

  “Yes, of course they are. Now get dressed and I’ll drive you back to the dorms,” he said as he turned to head back inside.

  “No, I’m taking an Uber. You go to bed, you’ve been up all night.” Now it was my turn to demand something.

  “Why would you take an Uber when I’m perfectly capable of driving you? Are you worried because I drank? That was hours ago, Bambi.” He was confused, and the frustration was a tension building between both of us.

  “No, I know you drank hours ago. I’m not worried about that. I just want to take an Uber.”

  “Tell me why or I’m driving you home. That makes no sense. I can save you the time and the money if I just drive you.”

  I groaned in annoyance, not wanting to share my private thoughts on this situation. But I knew if I didn’t tell him something, he’d keep pushing it. “I don’t do awkward drives home, or morning afters, or breakfasts in bed. Okay? I just wanted something casual with no strings. That’s all.” He would know, this situation was probably second nature to him. Besides, it was what he wanted too.

  He stared at me for what seemed like forever before answering. “Fine.” He turned and walked back inside the frat house, closing the door behind him.

  Chapter 13

  I nodded in thank you to my driver as he pulled in front of Callaway Hall at five AM. By the time I had thrown on Cade’s clothes and made my way back inside the frat house, he had already disappeared upstairs without a word. I felt the small sting of disappointment when he didn’t even say goodbye, but I quickly reminded myself that I was technically doing the same exact thing to Tyler. I hoped he wasn’t upset when he woke up. I felt like it was pretty clear that it was a one-time hookup, so I was pretty sure he wouldn’t think twice about it.

  Stepping out of the white Ford Focus, I shut the door behind me and walked inside the building that held my dorm room. Making my way through the quiet halls, I only passed a couple of people on their way to the communal bathroom that we all shared, getting ready to start their day when I was just now ending mine. Reaching my door, I found it was already unlocked and stepped inside.

  Savannah was wide awake, sitting leisurely on the couch in front of me. She was holding a hot cup of coffee and was fully immersed in one of her favorite books, Mortal Instruments. I swear this was like the fifth time I had seen her read this series since I moved in with her when we were fifteen. She swore it was the best series ever written, but I was quick to remind her it could only be second to Harry Potter. She knew I had never read either series, though, I just liked to tease her about her obsession over books. She was an insanely quick reader, blowing through an entire book in less than two days. I was never that diligent about reading, but she said it was only because I hadn’t found the right book that I could escape into. Maybe one day I would; after all, this year was already turning into a year of firsts.

  Her head snapped up as I shut the door behind me.

  “Oh, hell yes! You’re wearing Tyler’s clothes? Tell me every single detail!” Her voice was shrill and excited, but only a little louder than a whisper.

  “Is Logan still here?” God, I hoped not, I still hadn’t decided if I should tell her about Cade or if I should keep that to myself.

  “Yeah but he’s asleep. He won’t be up for hours. I wanted to be awake when you got home for some seriously needed girl talk.”

  Leave it to Savannah to skip much needed sleep just to hear about the wild escapades of last night. She always enjoyed the drama and adventure. She offered me her cup of coffee and I took it without hesitation. This was one of the worst hangovers I had ever had. My head was pounding and my body was moving so slowly from exhaustion.

  “Thanks ...” I said, motioning with the mug in my hand. “... and uh, these actually aren’t Tyler’s clothes.” I couldn’t keep anything from Sav. Sometimes I wished I could though. But honestly, I had no one else to talk to about these things. My parents both died when I was fifteen, I didn’t have any other siblings. Sav was my best friend back then, and still was today, she was the one person I confided in the most. All of that being said, my heart was racing as I geared up to tell her exactly what happened last night.

  “Excuse me? Those aren’t Tyler’s? But I saw you go upstairs with him. I’m so confused, didn’t you two hookup?” Her questions were flying at me, going a million miles a minute and I tried to focus my mind through the slur of the raging headache I was sporting.

  “Hold on, I need Advil for this conversation.” I headed to the kitchen, opened our medicine drawer and pulled out two tabs from our way-too-quickly used bottle of Advil. I dry swallowed them and sat back down on the couch, meeting Savannah’s silent and impatient glare with my eyes.

  “Okay okay ... so I did hookup with Tyler-”

  “EEEH!”

  “But we didn’t have sex or
anything ... and I didn’t have an orgasm. Go figure.”

  “Damn it. I was really optimistic about that guy, with his big biceps and oh so fuckable ... well everything.” We both broke out in laughter until I remembered Logan was still asleep in the other room and I sure as hell didn’t want him hearing what happened last night.

  “Shh, Logan is here!” I reminded her. We both gathered our thoughts and she pressed forward.

  “I thought for sure he’d be able to get you there. What did he say? Did you get him off?” She leaned in, her attention completely devoted to my every word. I hastily finished telling her about Tyler, including the bit about my fake orgasm and sleeping in his room. We were both keeling over in laughter, trying our hardest to keep quiet, but I had to admit that it wasn’t really working.

  “So if you aren’t wearing Tyler’s clothes, who’s sweats and t-shirt are those?” Her face was shrouded in pure, intense curiosity. I knew she held absolutely no judgement for me hooking up with one guy and wearing someone else’s clothes. She was always begging me to let loose and have fun, so she would 100% support any sexual adventures I took on.

  “That’s where things get a little complicated,” I said, my gaze shifting to the floor and my cheeks flaring up with blush.

  “Emma-freaking-Carter. Tell me right now before I freak out.” Shit, she used my full name. She knew I couldn’t hide this from her though.

  “These are Cade’s clothes ... Cade Davenport.”

  And then any hope that Logan would remain sleeping was completely and utterly shattered because Savannah leapt off of the couch and shouted obscenities while she broke out her victory dance all around the small common area of our room.