“Why didn’t you stop it, Ethan?”
“Because I’m a fool and the entire time you were gone, I kept picturing you and Todd together. It made sense, explained so much about you … I mean, your chemistry together is insane.”
“We all have chemistry!” she shouted. “That’s why we’re a band!”
“Yeah, but with Todd it’s different. It’s sexual.”
So he was throwing that back in her face?
“The sexual is gone. It’s been gone. I’ve had so many opportunities to have sex with him, Ethan, but I haven’t. I’ve known for a long time what I wanted and that was you. It still is you. It will always be you. Even though I’m so fucking mad at you right now,” she paused and gathered the courage to continue. “So, you kissed her?”
“Yes,” he responded, his eyes still not meeting hers.
“That’s all?”
With his silence, she knew that things were not good. Oh, God, she felt like her whole world was crumbling down around her. “Ethan, please. You’re breaking my heart. Did you sleep with her?”
He looked up and held her eyes and spoke the one word she dreaded to hear. “Yes.”
The one word that blew her world to shreds. Her husband—the love of her life—slept with another woman. He sought comfort from someone other than her. Again, she wasn’t enough for him. Again he chose Kristen—and that made her angry. How could this happen?
Mia closed her eyes for a long moment, envisioning herself kicking and punching him for breaking her heart like this again, but instead she picked her robe off the ground and hurried to their closet. Grabbing the first thing she saw, she got dressed, then pulled out a suitcase and haphazardly threw clothes in the bag and zipped it up. She didn’t know what she was doing. Maybe she’d go back to Luke’s for now and then off to Chicago, or maybe even Malibu. But for now, she needed out of there—away from Ethan, away from this hurt.
She dragged the large suitcase into the sitting area. Ethan hadn’t moved, but he did now, scrambling to his feet. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. I just know that I can’t be anywhere near you right now.”
“You’re running away,” he said bitterly.
“You’re damn right I’m running away,” she screamed, gripping the suitcase hard to keep herself steady. “My husband slept with another woman, someone he knew would hurt me. All because he thought I was having a fucking affair with Todd. I wasn’t! I didn’t need to! I had you!” she bellowed and then she started to cry. “I had you,” she sobbed. “God! Why am I not enough for you, Ethan? I went through hell and back fixing me so I could be with you. I almost died giving birth to our sons. I gave you my heart. What more can I do for you?”
She wiped her eyes and headed out of their bedroom, and bolted down the stairs, the suitcase clunking with each and every step. Swiping her car keys from the mudroom, she popped the trunk open, tossed the suitcase in, then went back into the house for her other bags. When she entered the mudroom again, her eyes fell to her sons’ little rain boots, and the tears fell harder. She was determined to see them later, somehow. But first, she needed to get out of this house, away from Ethan. She needed her best friend.
Just before driving away, she took one last look at the house and saw Ethan standing in the garage. She jabbed at the garage opener button and closed the door on him.
She made the short drive to Luke’s, and ringing the doorbell, Mia desperately tried to compose herself before someone answered. But it didn’t work. The moment Luke opened the door, deep sobs tore painfully at her throat.
He pulled her inside, shut the door, and then wrapped her in his arms, letting her cry for a bit before he asked, “Sweets, what happened?”
She pushed out of his embrace. “He slept with her. He cheated on me, Luke! He cheated on me!” she yelled. Without warning, her chest got tight to the point that it felt like it would cave in on her. She put a shaky hand to the space between her collarbone and her breasts, taking deep, steadying breaths. God, she hurt. Nothing in her life compared to this. Not her mother leaving. Not the first or second times she and Ethan parted ways. Not even her miscarriage. Ethan—her husband, the love of her fucked-up life—betrayed her. So much worse than the first time he chose Kristen. Now they were married. Had a family. She never thought she’d have to deal with this again.
“Oh, God, saying that felt like I just stabbed myself in the chest. I don’t know what to do, Luke. I can’t believe he did this. I thought he loved me.” Suddenly she stopped talking when she felt the upheaval start in her stomach. “Excuse me,” she muttered and raced off to the powder room and proceeded to throw up.
The past few hours had made her forget what she had wanted to purchase today—a pregnancy test. This was the reason she’d come home early. She had wanted to find out with her husband by her side. Totally not going to happen now.
“Mia, are you okay?” came Allie’s voice from the other side of the door.
“You wouldn’t happen to have an extra pregnancy test lying around, would you?”
“Seriously?” Allie was hard to shock, but Mia obviously did so with that question.
“Yes,” she groaned.
“One second.”
Not long after that, she heard the rap of Allie’s knuckles on the door.
“Come in,” Mia called out. Allie entered the small bathroom and held the test out for her to take. Mia just stared at it. After two years of trying to get pregnant, this was the closest she’d been to it being true and she didn’t know whether she could face it if it was negative. But with the fucked-up state of her marriage at the moment, a positive result might not be the best thing for her either because she had no idea what she would do.
“Five seconds in the stream and then we wait three minutes,” Allie stated, placing the test on the counter next to the toilet.
“Two lines right?”
“This one has the words. Want me to leave?”
“No,” Mia choked. She needed some support because if this was negative … hell, she just needed support.
Pulling up her dress, she sat on the toilet and automatically put the test between her legs. After counting to five, she pulled it out and placed it on the counter. Standing up, she fixed her clothes and then washed her hands.
“Three minutes?” she asked, standing before her friend. Allie nodded sadly and hugged her. “Luke told you?”
“Yes.”
Mia nodded repeatedly and gave up on holding in the tears, crying in Allie’s arms as her friend comforted her. Her life was a mess. She’d been so excited thinking of how happy Ethan would be when she told him she was finally pregnant. That’s why she’d changed her plans. She wanted to be home with him and the boys—her family—and find out together. Now here she was in her best friend’s bathroom, awaiting the news, her marriage falling apart.
“Three minutes are up, Mia.”
With an exhale, she turned to the counter and saw only one word on the test—pregnant.
“I’m pregnant,” she said and fell to her knees. Finally.
She rested her head in her hands, her mind completely blank, staring off at the open door, waiting for her mind to engage. Before that could even happen, Luke’s shoes appeared in front of her.
“Pregnant, huh?”
She smiled because despite everything going on, she was happy for this. After all the heartbreak of the miscarriage and repeated disappointments of not getting pregnant month after month, she was finally getting the child she so desperately wanted. “I am.”
Blowing out a long breath, his understanding eyes focused on her, he then extended his hand to her. “Let’s get out of this bathroom. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. Are you?”
With a thankful nod, she let him lead her to the kitchen where he deposited her on one of the stools in front of the island. While Luke went about making a late breakfast, Mia talked to Allie.
“What do I have in the next month?” Mia asked, knowing ahea
d of time that she wouldn’t like the answer. And she didn’t. She cringed as Allie kept speaking. Too much.
“Cancel or reschedule what you can. Get Bree to help with that. God, I’ve got to tell her about this,” she groaned, putting her palm to her forehead. There were certain things she knew she had to do, like the premiere of her new movie at the end of the month. She couldn’t cancel that.
“I need to get into the doctor’s fast.”
“Well, this upcoming week is pretty free. Why don’t you call now?”
“Okay,” she agreed as she scrolled through her phone. Placing the call, Mia was pleasantly surprised that she got through to speak to someone fairly easily. She waited patiently while the nurse looked up her info.
“Ahhh … here it is. Dr. Kendall wants to get you in here right away according to the notes in your chart. How late are you?” the nurse asked.
“Over three weeks,” Mia answered.
“Can I put you on hold for one moment, Ms. Devereux?”
“Of course,” she replied, holding her head in her hand. Her stomach growled loudly. Whatever Luke was making smelled delicious.
“Ms. Devereux?”
“Yes?”
“Could you possibly come in this afternoon at four?”
She mouthed four to Allie who quickly looked at her phone and then nodded at her. “I can.”
“Great! We’ll see you here at four o’clock.”
“Thanks,” she said and ended the call. “Today at four o’clock.”
“Want me to come with you?” Allie offered.
“You’d do that?”
“Of course.”
Luke placed a plate of French toast and eggs in front of her. She thanked him and dug in. After she finished eating, he sat down next to her.
“What did he say?” Luke asked and Mia recounted what Ethan had said to her like she was giving a freaking news report. No emotion touched her voice. “Did he say why?”
“Because he’s a jealous ass who couldn’t get the thought of Todd and I together out of his head. I never slept with Todd! I don’t want Todd. I want my damn husband,” she cried, wiping the tears away, angry at them, angry at all of this—especially Ethan. “Why doesn’t he want me?”
What was it about Kristen that Ethan continued to go back to? What attracted him in the first place? Was it just convenience or something more? And if it was something more—what? What did she have that Mia didn’t? “I hate Kristen with such a passion. I want to tear the blonde hair right out of her head and then stuff it down her fucking throat,” Mia said, stabbing a piece of French toast and stuffing it in her mouth.
“Sweets, what about the boys?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even know where I’m going yet.” She had no idea what to do, what the right thing was. But she did know that she was taking those boys with her—for now. “After the appointment, I’m going to get the boys and go to Chicago,” Mia spoke, feeling a little better with that decision. It was a plan … of some sort anyway.
Mia watched Luke and Allie and could see their concern as to whether she was making the right decision. Hell, she didn’t know either but it was the only one that felt right.
“Is it over?” Luke asked. That question made her feel like she may get sick again. Why was it everyone’s first thought when they found out someone cheated was “Are you getting a divorce?” What about trying to work it out? Why did an affair have to mean the end? Even though she couldn’t see him right now didn’t mean that she wouldn’t want to see him for the rest of her life.
He was her life.
Her home.
And his cheating tore through her home like a tornado—decimating it. She didn’t know if they could rebuild after this. All she did know was that she would take the boys, but divorce, that seemed too final. And she was not there—yet. But who knew … that could easily change.
“I don’t know the answer to that. I just can’t be with him right now.”
“Stay here,” Luke offered and Allie quickly agreed.
“No,” she stated, shaking her head emphatically. “I can’t put you guys in that spot.”
“Mia, it’s okay. We want you here,” Allie said.
“No, he’s too close.”
“Damn it, Mia. You want to punish him,” Luke said in realization.
“He broke my heart, Luke!” she yelled. “Maybe if he knows what he’ll be missing … I don’t know,” she paused for a long moment. “I don’t know,” she said quietly, resting her head on her folded arms. Closing her eyes, she just breathed as she’d learned in therapy to keep the panic attacks at bay. It didn’t take long before exhaustion took her and she fell asleep.
Luke
“Mia?” Luke asked quietly. She had been silent too long. Allie gently brushed aside Mia’s long chocolate brown hair and smiled softly.
“She’s asleep,” she whispered.
“I’ll move her,” he suggested and bent to gently sweep her up into his arms. She felt so light—too light. “I either got much stronger or she has lost a lot of weight.”
His wife rolled her eyes at him and snickered. Luke shook his head at her. He was strong but holding Mia was much easier than it had ever been.
After situating her on the sofa, he placed a throw over her. She sighed as her body adjusted to the cushions, a sleepy grimace crossing her face. He hated seeing her in so much pain. Fuck, he’d never been so angry at Ethan. How the hell could he be so fucking stupid? How could he hurt Mia like this? Luke had trusted him to take care of his best friend, to love her, not hurt her. He wanted to fix this for her but he had no idea how or even if it could be fixed.
He returned to the kitchen to find Allie sitting at the island, staring off into the backyard. He knew his wife was upset at this turn of events. She looked up to Ethan—idolized him. Mia and Ethan were her family. Mia was that girlfriend/sister she’d always wanted but had never had and Ethan, the older brother who always looked out for her. He had given her away at their wedding. Luke could tell she was torn. Her family was falling apart.
And so was his. But there was a difference. He loved Ethan, but Luke would always choose Mia.
He sat down next to his wife, taking her hand in his. “Allie, she weighed nothing. She seriously is skin and bones. I don’t think Ethan had to be all that rough to cause that bruising on her.”
“What did she tell you about that?” she asked curiously.
He told her but not the detailed version that Mia told him. “She was pretty graphic—detailed—about what happened. The constant was that she couldn’t believe how rough and unfeeling he was towards her. Shit, Allie, I kept thinking ‘Did he force her? Did that motherfucker force her?’ God, I can’t believe this is all happening.”
Glancing up at the clock on the wall, he saw it was half past eight. Time to go to work. He leaned down and placed his lips upon his wife’s brow. “I have to go to work, but I’ll try to be home early. Make sure she stays here tonight. I don’t want her driving off in her state. I’ll bring her bags up to her room. Tell her the boys can stay too.”
“Okay,” she said, a soft smile on her face as she looked up at him.
“You gonna be okay?”
Her smile turned sad. “Oh, I’m fine. My hurt feelings are nothing compared to what she’s going through. I just feel so let down.”
“Yeah, so do I. Not that god-like anymore, is he?”
She shook her head in agreement.
“I love you, Allie.”
“I love you too.”
He quickly kissed her lips and then ran up the stairs to get ready for work.
Mia
Mia woke up to find herself on a sofa, a blanket thrown over her body, her heart aching, and not a clue about how she got there. At least she knew she was at Luke and Allie’s house. She stretched and then sat up, wincing as her bruised muscles strained at being pulled. She checked her watch and saw that it was a little after three o’clock. She should get ready for her doctor’s app
ointment.
The house was so quiet, it had her wondering if she was all alone. With her ears on alert, she rose from the sofa and set about finding someone. She heard Allie’s voice travel from the other side of the house—her office—and Mia headed in that direction. Walking into the room, she found Allie on the phone, more than likely rearranging Mia’s schedule. Mia sat herself down on the sofa, like she had done so often lately now that Allie and Luke were married and Allie was living in Indianapolis.
“Hi,” Mia said once Allie hung up the phone.
“Hey, feel a little better? You were blah, blah, blah, then you were out.”
“Welcome to pregnancy, round two,” she said with a small smile. “Where’s Luke?”
“He went into the office for a little bit. And he said you’re staying here tonight. You’re jet lagged and pregnant. You need to rest, okay?”
She knew there was no saying no to this, so she nodded her head instead.
“He brought your suitcases up to your room.”
That made Mia smile. “My room. He still calls it that?”
“Of course! It will always be your room,” Allie said.
Mia rose from the comfy sofa. “I’m going to get ready. Leave around three-thirty?”
“Okay.”
“Thanks, Allie,” she added and went up to her room to get ready for her appointment with the doctor.
One of the few times when Mia didn’t feel like a celebrity was at the doctor’s office. She still had to get naked, put on the not-so-beautiful paper gown, and sit her bony ass on the crinkling white paper and freeze under the powerful AC. This was the third time she was in Dr. Kendall’s office for a pregnancy confirmation and she was very nervous. Her leg bounced incessantly, her thigh repeatedly hitting the white paper making a racket. Allie put her hand on her knee to stop her.
“Sorry. I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be.”
That’s easy for her to say, Mia thought. She needed this pregnancy to be okay.
The doctor came in a few minutes later, full of smiles. “Well, Mia, looks like you’re pregnant.”
Never Over You Page 24