The confirmation lit a grin on her face that threatened to combust. She was so happy. Finally pregnant. Two damn years.
He pulled over the rolling stool and sat in front of her. “So.”
She sighed. Trouble. She knew this was too good to be true. “So.”
“You’re what? Thirty-six?”
Mia nodded. Eek. That sounded old.
“With your medical history and your age, you realize this is considered a high-risk pregnancy?”
Mia exhaled loudly. Not what she wanted to hear.
“Hey,” Dr. Kendall said, grabbing on to her knee. “Just because you’re high-risk doesn’t mean you or your baby will have problems. It’s just our way of making sure you’re treated with special care. That’s all.”
She nodded, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. Of course this wouldn’t be easy, but if she required special care, so be it—she wanted this baby and would do whatever to have it.
“We will be cautious. You will see me more often than normal. You will have some early tests and screenings. We will get you on blood pressure meds as a preventive. And you will follow all my directions, right?”
“I followed your directions to a tee with the twins.”
Allie laughed at that.
“Hey! I did—for the most part.”
“Now, there’s one thing I did want to discuss—your weight. You’re barely over one hundred pounds. At your height, you should be between one hundred twenty and one hundred forty pounds. I really would like for you to gain twenty-five to forty pounds … more like forty.”
“Dammit, Mia,” Allie cursed. “Luke said you weighed nothing and he was right. One hundred pounds?”
While she had been preparing for the movie with Austin, she’d lost a lot of weight because the character she played had been ill. If they knew how low she’d actually gotten …
Dr. Kendall looked at her and she grumbled. “I’ll gain the weight.”
“See that you do,” he stated as he moved a rolling cart closer to her. “Now on to the next item. I’d like to do an ultrasound after my exam, okay?”
“Yes,” she said. In a few minutes she would get to see her baby on a screen, hopefully hear its heartbeat for the first time.
She laid down on the table and let the doctor do his exam. She didn’t think to be alarmed when he started with a breast exam, not until he had the gown open and let out a whistled breath.
“Mia …”
“Ah, well, about those …”
“I’m waiting,” the doctor said.
“Uh, rough sex?”
“Mia,” Allie chided.
“Well, that’s what it was!”
The doctor palpated her breasts and held her eyes. “Mia, what’s going on?”
She didn’t want this going any further. She definitely didn’t want the media to get a hold of it. What happened between her and Ethan stayed between them … and their best friends.
“Marriage difficulties. That’s it.”
With an understanding nod, Dr. Kendall performed the ultrasound. Allie held her hand this time as the wand was inserted into her. Her eyes were fixated on the screen, waiting to see how many babies were in her uterus.
“Just one baby this time, Mia,” the doctor said as she breathed a huge sigh of relief.
He took her blood pressure—totally fine. Calculated her due date as January eighth. And he left her with a reminder about her weight and stress.
Hmm … maybe I can drown out my stress with food …
Hopefully that would work.
Mia
Pulling her car into the garage, Mia immediately noticed Ethan’s car in the port next to hers. She had hoped he’d be gone. Where, she didn’t know—just somewhere other than home. She didn’t want to face him right now. The wounds were too raw, too fresh. But she had to swallow that fear if she wanted to get her sons. She didn’t know what Ethan’s reaction would be when she told him she’d be taking the boys with her. Would he try to stop her? Would he fight? Twelve hours ago, she never imagined she’d be in this position—the wife to an adulterer.
She needed out of this house and was taking her sons with her. She hadn’t seen them in the flesh in over four weeks and was desperate to have their little arms wrapped around her neck—to wrap her own arms around them.
That got her out of the car. She crossed the concrete floor of the garage and opened the door to the mudroom but stopped with the sounds and smells of dinner time. How many meals with her sons had she missed these past few years because of her career and all the touring? She couldn’t answer that—more like she didn’t want to. She’d save that soul-searching for a later date.
And she had lots of it to do.
Mia stood in the middle of the room, her nerves deciding they weren’t done with her yet. She took a deep fortifying breath, put a smile on her face, and walked into her house. Passing through the mudroom, she stopped in the kitchen at the sight before her. Ethan and her boys sat around the table with smiles on their faces, enjoying their dinner. All three of them looked up from their meal and when her little boys saw her, they screamed her name in joy.
“Mommy!”
Ethan looked relieved to see her yet, at the same time, confused. He hadn’t expected her to return.
She went straight for her sons, Pierce and Rory, and hugged them tightly, trying to give and receive four weeks of lost embraces into one hug.
“Mommy missed you guys so much,” she said, kissing their foreheads. She avoided looking at her husband. There was no way she could make it through this if she did.
“Mommy, we’re eating our dinner,” three-year-old Rory said proudly.
“I see that,” she said with a true smile.
“Chicken and mac and cheese!” Pierce piped up.
“Mmm. Sounds yummy,” she said, ruffling Pierce’s light brown hair.
“Eat, Mommy!” Rory demanded.
“No, thank you, sweetie. Mommy isn’t feeling well.”
“I’ll make you feel better, Mommy,” he said and then he loudly kissed her cheek. She struggled to hold it together and barely managed to smile at him.
“Thanks, baby. I feel it working already,” she said, stealing a bite of his mac and cheese, causing him to giggle. She felt Ethan’s eyes on her like a magnet to metal and he was slowly pulling her to him. She needed to get out of there.
“Mommy’s going upstairs. I’ll be back down shortly,” she said abruptly and quickly rose from the chair and headed upstairs. She grabbed the boys’ suitcases out of the hall closet and went to their room. She packed a few days worth of clothes and then went about packing their favorite things. She filled their little backpacks with their favorite books and toys. Anything else she’d just buy later.
After dragging the luggage downstairs, she deposited it in the foyer, then went down to her studio. She took the laptop she used there, put it in its case, and headed back upstairs to put the bag with the others. When she turned around, she was surprised to find Ethan standing behind her.
“What’s this?” he asked, his eyes and voice filled with pain. And damn if that pain couldn’t still grip at her heart.
“I’m taking the boys with me. For now.”
“Mia. Please. Don’t do this. Stay so we can work this out. Give us that chance,” he pleaded.
“I can’t. Not now.”
“This isn’t over.”
“It isn’t?” She didn’t know the answer to that. She knew nothing. There was no manual for this. She thought she knew her husband. She’d never imagined him cheating. “I can’t even stand to look at you. I can’t even think about anything else except you and Kristen. I need time … to think, to process what you’ve done to us. Damn it, Ethan, you broke my heart.”
“Please don’t go. Talk to me.”
“What? And have you blame me? This is all on you, Ethan. Your choice broke us. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t even know if I want to!” she yelled, hitting his chest. She stared at her hand on his shi
rt, the frustration of this situation boiling over. “Goddamn it! I came home early because I missed you so much. I wanted my husband! I still want my husband,” she whimpered, hating how that made her feel weak. “My husband would never do this to me. He would not hurt me like this. You are not him right now. Find my husband, Ethan. Find the man I fell in love with,” she pleaded, trying to hold in the tears that threatened to fall. She raised her head up to look at him and what she saw broke her again. Her words had beaten him. She saw it clearly on his face, the silent tears falling from this strong man. A sob escaped from her mouth and he took her in his arms and held her while they both cried.
She was surprised that she let him, but then again, she wasn’t. This was the man who had comforted her through so much. He’d always supported her. And as she rested her head against his chest, she was so mad that he could still comfort her despite what he had done.
“God, you stupid man, why? How could you do this to us? We had made it back to each other. We had it all—everything! You threw that all away.”
“I know. I never wanted to do that.”
“Then why did you?” she yelled. “Why did you do this?”
“I don’t know,” he said then wrapped her tighter in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Mia. I love you so much.”
“Do you?” she looked up at him and glared. “You need to ask yourself that. You need to figure out what Kristen means to you.”
“She’s nothing—” he started.
“Is she? Then why is it always her? Why do you always break my heart because of her?”
That silenced him—maybe he finally realized it.
“Figure this shit out, Ethan. Then we’ll talk and go from there. For now, I need to be away from you. I need to think without seeing you because I see you and I want to hurt you and that won’t get us anywhere good.”
“Where are you going?” he asked, his grip not relenting.
“Luke’s tonight. Then to Chicago for a bit.”
For how long, she didn’t know. It could be forever …
“When can I see the boys?” he asked, uncertainty so prominent in his usually confident tone.
“I’m not going to stop you from seeing the boys. Just let me know when you want to see them and we’ll work it out,” she said, looking up at him. He was so damn handsome.
Even after what he’d done. Her body reacted every time she saw him. And right now, her emotions turned that up, but as he leaned into kiss her, she put her hand to his chest and stopped him. “No. Don’t kiss me.”
“Mia …” he spoke, a frantic panic gripping his face.
“Sorry, but I just can’t. I don’t love this man who so easily tossed his family aside. I can’t kiss him,” she said, knowing that what she said hurt him, but it was the truth. She broke from his embrace. “I should go.”
She took a few steps back and then took all the luggage and headed out to the garage. She took the diaper bag and put it in the front seat and turned to him. “If I forgot anything, have Bridgette bring it to Chicago when she comes.”
Mia headed to the kitchen to get her boys, feeling Ethan’s broken eyes on them, watching his family completely fall apart. “Hey guys, do you want to go on an adventure?”
“Yeah!” they shouted enthusiastically.
Oh, to be young again …
“Okay. Let’s go to the car then.”
The little boys who looked so like Ethan ran to the mudroom and put on their little matching coats. They both had his face and his beautiful, charming smile. Rory had her coloring and her eyes and hair while Pierce was a mini-Ethan in every way. She opened the door to the garage and they raced to the car. Ethan put Rory in his car seat while Mia took care of Pierce.
“Daddy, are you coming?” Pierce asked.
“No, buddy. This is your adventure with Mommy.”
Their eyes filled with tears and in that moment, Mia felt guilty taking them from their father—away from the family unit they all were together—and that guilt made her angry. She wasn’t the one that had betrayed her family. That would be her husband.
“We’ll call Daddy at bedtime. You can talk to him every day. And you’ll see him really soon,” she said to the boys in her best attempt at calming them, but inside she was fighting so hard to maintain control, to maintain her strength so her sons didn’t see her breakdown in a colossal way.
“Give Daddy a hug,” Ethan said to Rory and the little boy wrapped his little arms around his father’s neck. Ethan kissed his forehead and the pain on her husband’s face stabbed her heart. But there was a part—not one that she was very proud of—that thought, Good, you need to feel this too.
He came around to Pierce and hugged him as Pierce broke down and cried. He was definitely Daddy’s boy. Not only did he look just like Ethan, they got along so well. He did whatever his Daddy did. “Bye, buddy. I’ll miss you guys.”
“Bye, Daddy,” they said in unison.
“I love you two so much,” Ethan said, touching their faces.
Fuck. This was hard, Mia thought, trying her best not to cry. She didn’t want her family apart like this. This was the last thing she ever wanted.
Ethan stepped back from the car and closed the door, then turned to her, their bodies inches apart. His eyes raked all over her face before settling on hers and she saw him then—her husband—the one she married all those years ago. So when he cupped her face, she didn’t fight him because being with him was right—as it should be.
“I do love you,” he murmured before his lips touched hers. This was her husband kissing her. She felt his love for her—his tenderness. And her heart, hell, her entire body, ached because even though he was there, so was what he did.
The tears poured from her eyes as her body reacted to his kiss, as her mind emptied of everything and focused on him.
Fuck—how did he do that? How did he completely obliterate her mind with his touch?
Pushing away, she broke away from his lips. “Don’t touch me!” she hissed quietly, not wanting to upset the kids. She couldn’t think straight when he touched her. His touch drugged her brain and the only thing she could think of was getting naked with him, and that was a problem because sex with him wouldn’t save their family. She removed his arms from around her and quickly entered her car. She started it then rolled down the windows.
“Bye, Daddy!” the boys called out.
“I love you guys,” Ethan told them before his gaze moved to her. The defeated look didn’t suit him at all. He looked so much older—weaker.
“I’ll call you at their bedtime,” she said to him, fiddling with the rearview mirror.
He nodded, tears settling in his eyes and an overwhelming sadness settling in her heart.
Before she even got to put the car in gear, he grabbed the door, stopping her. “Ethan!” she called out.
“Do you love me?” he asked, his voice panicked. Did she? Yes, her love hadn’t gone away. She loved him. Always would. But right now, she was so very angry at him and that was currently beating down the love so all she felt was burning anger.
“I do.”
“Say it. Please,” he begged, the tears spilling from his eyes.
“I love you, Ethan,” she spoke quietly and then backed her car out of the garage and made her way to Luke’s for the fourth time today.
“Mommy, why’s Daddy crying?” Rory asked, his eyes wide with sadness. She’d have to be careful with him. He picked up on other’s feelings way too easily.
“Because Daddy’s going to miss you guys. It makes him sad that he can’t come with us.”
“Why can’t he come with us?” Pierce asked.
“Because Daddy has some things to work on,” she answered truthfully.
“Where are we going?” Pierce asked instead of inquiring about his father.
“Uncle Luke’s!”
The boys cheered and grinned. They loved Luke and the feeling was mutual. She was amazed at how easily she was able to distract them from the fact
that she was taking them away from their father.
As she pulled up the driveway, she saw Luke and Allie sitting on the front steps, her head resting on his shoulder, their hands joined in his lap.
“Mommy! I see Uncle Luke! There he is!” Pierce exclaiming, pointing out the window.
She parked and Luke and Allie went to either side of the car to let the boys out.
Her sons played in the yard with Luke and Allie while she got their bags and headed upstairs to her room. On the bed, she laid out the boys’ matching pajamas and their stuffed animals. Rory had a frog and Pierce had a pig. Then she headed downstairs where she heard Luke bribing her kids with ice cream.
“Yay! Ice cream!” the boys sang together.
She walked into the kitchen and spotted her sons at the table, smiles on their cute faces and she hoped they would not remember this time in their lives. She did not want them to have that experience hanging over them. Not like she had with her parents. She hoped to spare them that.
“I’d like some ice cream too,” she spoke, announcing her return, crossing the room to Luke who wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the crown of her head. “Please?”
“What about dinner first? I kept a plate warm for you.”
“I’ll have dessert with my boys and then I’ll eat that dinner. I’m starving.”
They all sat around the table, eating their ice cream. Rory’s face was a mess and he knew it. He was giggling so hard. She looked up to share a knowing smile with Ethan and felt the breath rush right out of her when she realized he wasn’t there. That she may never share a moment like this with him again. Putting her spoon back in her bowl, she quickly excused herself and hurried to the bathroom and closed the door, letting the tears drown her broken heart.
Getting the boys to bed at their normal time was near impossible but with the help of Luke wrangling the boys upstairs, Mia was able to get them dressed and in bed just fifteen minutes late. The boys snuggled in the middle of the bed, their stuffed animals held tightly in their arms. She sat on the bed next to them, lightly ruffling their hair before she spoke.
“Okay. Time to call Daddy,” she said to force herself to do so. She wouldn’t let her sons down.
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