by Sara Wood
‘Thank you for this chance,’ she said, beaming with pleasure.
‘Thank you. You’ll be wonderful,’ he answered huskily.
Blowing Cassian a shy kiss, she wandered into the huge marble bathroom and turned on the shower. She was to work for a while and Cassian would help her with the mail, then they were going out to lunch.
When they arrived back at Thrushton Hall, Cassian and Adam would go out for their run and then on their return the house would be filled with the sound of laughter and noise and fabulous music, just as it had been last night.
She smiled, thrilled with the change in Adam. He was more confident, more feisty. And she’d listened to the sound of Cassian’s voice in the house upstairs as he’d read some exciting story to her son, and her heart had seemed fit to burst with happiness.
A fabulous meal was in order tonight, she thought, mentally going through the recipe she’d chosen. With a month’s advance salary in the bank, she’d felt able to buy something special to strengthen her plan to be totally indispensable to Cassian.
Fillet of beef rolled in herbs and porcini, wrapped in prosciutto. Her mouth watered as she stepped out and dried herself. Chocolate pots and sharp lemon wedges. Her eyes lit up. He’d adore it, while she’d adore cooking for the men she loved. And tomorrow there’d be succulent chicken in wine sauce followed by bread and butter pudding laced with whisky. Heaven.
‘Champagne.’ Cassian handed her a glass and switched on the shower for himself.
‘To the future. Happiness for all,’ she said, lifting the elegant flute, confident now that he’d want her to stay.
He smiled fondly. ‘The future. Happiness.’
In a daze of delight she eased on her elegantly fitting Jackie-O dress and then, with great pride she settled at her huge desk with its view across the leafy park.
Her mind was teeming with thoughts of the future— Cassian falling in love with her, the two of them and their sons living happily together, perhaps a child of their own…
The shower door banged in the background and she hastily put her dreams on hold and began to tackle the post.
‘So many people needing help!’ she marvelled, when Cassian came in.
He grabbed a stack of letters and began slitting them. ‘I know. It can be heartbreaking. But we…I mean, the charity can make a difference to some. I suggest you make a rough selection of “Good grief no’s” and “so-so’s” and “yes, desperate’s”, and I’ll keep them coming.’
Her ‘yes, desperate’ pile was unnervingly large when they’d finished opening all the letters.
‘Supposing I give out all the money in two months and there’s none left?’ she said anxiously.
‘Then you have ten months of twiddling your thumbs,’ he said, grinning. ‘Relax, Laura. Use your intuition, make some appointments and hear what your favourites have to say.’
Solemn-faced to have such awesome responsibility, she applied herself with a will and began to enjoy the task. Her decision to enter every single applicant on a database had been greeted with approval by Cassian and her fingers flew over the keys as she entered the names and addresses.
‘Time for lunch,’ he murmured in her ear, seemingly a few minutes later.
She checked her watch. ‘It can’t be that late!’ she exclaimed.
‘You’ve been working non-stop. Take a break.’
‘I’d rather continue. Could we have sandwiches?’ she asked hopefully.
‘I can do better than that.’
Cassian disappeared and returned later with smoked salmon, pasta salad and two wicked cream cakes.
‘Pastry on your mouth,’ he drawled lazily, when they’d finished. ‘No, let me!’ The tip of his tongue slid around her lips, making her tremble. ‘Tasty.’
‘You’re supposed to be the office boy today, so go and make me an espresso,’ she said haughtily, pretending she wasn’t feeling hot throughout her body.
‘Mmm. Ever had a fantasy about an innocent young office boy being seduced by his glamorous, high-flying boss?’ he murmured, slipping his fingers to her zip at the back of the honey-gold dress. ‘Across her executive desk?’
Her eyes gleamed as her body capitulated. She walked over to her desk and without taking her eyes off him, hitched herself onto it, her skirt high on her thighs.
‘Come and learn a little office practice, boy,’ she purred silkily.
She saw him swallow, knew he was hopelessly drawn to her. Elated, she leaned back, unable to believe he found her so enticing.
His mobile rang. He ignored it. And played the game to the full.
‘Lunch hours have never been such fun,’ she gurgled later, when they were mutually soaping one another in a haze of satisfaction. ‘Enough!’ she protested, when Cassian came dangerously close to arousing her again. ‘Work.’
Escaping, she pulled on her clothes and shakily returned to her lists. Time passed quickly again and it seemed only an hour or so before they were driving home. Somewhere in the depths of Cassian’s pocket, his mobile rang.
‘Can you answer that?’ he asked.
‘Yes, of course.’ She dug it out. ‘Hello?’ she said uncertainly.
‘Oh. Where’s Dad?’
‘It’s Jai!’ she squealed.
Cassian’s eyes lit up like beacons. ‘Can’t stop here, too dangerous. See what he wants,’ he urged.
‘He’s driving. Can I give him a message?’ she suggested excitedly.
‘OK. Can you tell him I’m sitting on the wall outside his house?’
Laura’s eyes rounded. ‘What? You’ve arrived? This is fantastic. He’ll be over the moon—wait, oh, it’ll be a good half hour or so before he can get to you—’
‘No sweat,’ said the composed Jai. ‘I can wait.’
‘See you soon,’ she said happily. There was a casual ‘OK’ and then Jai rang off. ‘He’s there!’ she told Cassian. ‘At the house!’
‘That must have been him, ringing earlier. I totally forgot to check if any message had been left. I can’t wait for you to meet him. And Adam,’ he said enthusiastically. ‘We’ll pick him up from school first.’
She beamed, thinking of them all together. Just like a family.
‘I can’t wait,’ she replied.
The noise was deafening but she loved it. Jai had brought his father a tape of a local band playing in some market square in Marrakesh. Adam and Jai were excitedly chattering together, heads close, as Jai described the Berber houses in the mountains, where hospitality was so generous that he’d been overwhelmed by the excess of food and love. Cassian sat listening to the tape and occasionally adding to the stream of information coming from his son. His hand gripped Jai’s, his eyes resting on his child with naked adoration.
And she was trying to get the meal together, having shooed away all offers of help, while at the same time she was doing her best not to miss a word of Jai’s extraordinary tales of mountain passes, verdant valleys and ruined fortresses.
But mainly he spoke of the people. Her mind teemed with images and ideas, astonished that a ten-year-old boy should have experienced so much.
The vividly colourful clothes of the women, who worked in the fields and grazed the cattle and goats. The closeness of the families and the affection between them all. The remarkable fact that wherever they went, even in a remote valley, someone would appear. And that someone either spoke English or knew a villager who did.
She smiled, caught up in the excitement of Jai’s arrival, thrilled to see how happy he was to be with his father. He was a handsome child. Dark, rangy, like Cassian, and clearly tough and self-assured. But sunny-natured, laughing a good deal, and never arrogant, never conscious that his life must be so different from most other children’s.
Her eyes softened. She would never forget his meeting with his father. Cassian had leapt from the car as if ejected by a rocket. The two had flown together and had remained in a hug for ages; weeping, exclaiming, squeezing.
Without realising, her arm ha
d gone around Adam too. And she’d felt weepy when her son had cuddled her hard, his small face lifted to hers in love and happiness.
‘Isn’t life great now, Mum?’ he’d said, starry-eyed.
‘Great,’ she’d agreed. And promised to herself that she’d do everything to keep it that way.
She hadn’t stopped smiling since. Lifting the broccoli off the hot plate, she grinned at the laughing men in her life and coughed loudly to attract their attention.
‘Supper’s ready,’ she announced, flushed pink from cooking and deep contentment. ‘Jai, it’s your choice. Eat here or the dining room?’
‘Here, please!’ cried Jai. ‘It’s smashing. Cosy and homely. Can we have candles?’
‘I’ll get them!’ offered Adam, jumping up.
‘I’ll come too—’
The boys disappeared. Cassian looked up at her and if she hadn’t fallen love with him before she would have done so then. There was such pleasure in every cell of his body and such exhilaration in his gleaming dark eyes that her heart somersaulted chaotically.
‘He’s wonderful,’ she said shakily.
‘I think so. I’m glad you do,’ he replied.
He reached out his hand and she grasped it, both of them grinning idiotically at one another.
‘I’d better put the meal on the table,’ she breathed, afraid that she’d tell him how much she loved him. And she pulled her hand away.
‘Crikey!’ gasped Jai rushing in. ‘Just look at that beef! Smells stupendous. I can’t wait. I’m starving!’
Pleased, she began to carve. ‘When did you last eat?’ she asked in amusement, watching Jai pile potatoes and vegetables onto his plate.
‘Umm… In Skipton, just before my minder put me on the bus.’
Adam giggled. ‘I can’t imagine what Skipton made of a Berber in full ceremonial robes standing at a bus stop with you!’
‘Did draw the crowds a bit,’ Jai acknowledged. ‘But Karim’s got a degree in Psychology so he handled it. I love England, Laura. People are so friendly and smiley.’
‘Are you sure?’ she asked, a little astonished.
‘I grin at them and they grin back,’ Jai said blithely.
‘I can imagine,’ she said with a smile. He’d charm the birds off the trees. ‘But we don’t all have a tame Berber to help the conversation along.’
Jai laughed and sampled a piece of beef. ‘Wowee, this tastes fab, Laura!’ he declared. ‘The absolute best!’
‘Thanks,’ she said warmly, won over by Jai’s enthusiasm. ‘I wondered what you’d think of the food in this country, after all the exotic stuff you’ve eaten.’
‘But it’s exotic here!’ Jai claimed.
‘Yorkshire?’ hooted Adam.
Jai nodded. ‘It is, to me. It’s foreign. Exciting. I’ve never been to England before. Dad’s talked about it a lot. In fact, he hardly ever stops talking about the Yorkshire Dales—’
‘Exaggeration!’ Cassian protested.
‘In the last month or so, all I hear,’ said Jai with the kind of affectionate scorn reserved for a wayward parent, ‘is how beautiful it is, how green, the charm of the hills and trees and little fields and tiny villages. And do you know something, Dad?’
‘I’m a bore?’ he suggested.
Jai grinned. ‘Never in a million years! No, you’re right! This place blew me away. I know why you drooled about it.’ He ducked to avoid an accurately hurled lump of bread. ‘Seriously, though…is this going to be our home, now, Dad?’
‘Could you really live here?’ Adam cried hopefully, before Cassian could answer. But she saw he was frowning and a slight feeling of unease spread over her. ‘We’d have a great time together,’ Adam enthused.
‘Yeah! Could you show me the corpse way you told me about?’ Jai asked eagerly. ‘And…what was it…Li’l Emily’s Bridge? And the suspension bridge that wobbles and—’
‘All of it!’ broke in Adam. ‘It’s Saturday tomorrow, so I don’t have school. We’ll go early. And there are the remains of Roman lead mines above the village, and ruins of Victorian mining offices and a forge. It’s dead interesting—’
‘Dad!’ Jai cried, his eyes shining. ‘We can stay, can’t we? Adam and me’ll have a great time—’
He and Adam vied to coax Cassian. Laura suddenly couldn’t eat. Her future—Adam’s future—had been suddenly pushed to the forefront.
It had been obvious that Jai thought Cassian must be renting the house, as was his custom. She knew that he’d spent two years renting rooms in Morocco, two years in an Egyptian apartment before that, and a holiday home in Madagascar before then…
It puzzled her why Cassian hadn’t explained he’d bought Thrushton Hall. Her eyes grew troubled. And she held her breath while he tried to make himself heard over the eager boys.
‘I thought we’d stay for a while—’ he began.
The boys whooped, waving their forks triumphantly in the air.
‘Brill, Dad! Gosh, Laura, you don’t mind?’ exclaimed Jai.
‘I—don’t mind.’ How could she? She adored him. And loved his father. ‘I’d love to have you here,’ she said warmly, aware that Cassian was frowning. But it was his own fault. He should have told Jai what he’d done.
Jai leapt from his chair and ran over, giving her a hug which left her breathless.
‘It’ll be like having a Mum around,’ he said, misty-eyed. ‘I’ve always wanted one of those but Dad wouldn’t play ball!’
‘Jai—’ growled Cassian.
‘It’ll be like living in a real home, with a real Mum,’ Jai said, not in the least bit unnerved by his father’s ferocious scowl. ‘I wish I had one. A Mum, I mean.’
‘Is she dead?’ asked Adam, with the typical bluntness of a child.
‘When I was born. Dad said she was the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. I’ve got pictures of her, I’ll show you. She was terribly clever. A novelist. He’s never really got over her—’
‘Jai!’ muttered Cassian.
‘Well, it’s true, Dad! You told me you’d never love another woman, remember?’
Laura tensed, her stomach plummeting. This was awful. Could she ever make him forget this perfect wife, who’d tragically died before boredom or familiarity could set in? Who he remembered with rose-coloured spectacles?
‘Yes,’ Cassian said in a hoarse whisper. His face was unnervingly bleak. ‘I remember.’
She felt sick. Cassian looked dreadful. He was carrying a torch for his late wife. Her hopes came crashing about her ears.
‘Wish I had a father,’ Adam put in, gazing significantly at Cassian, raw hope in his eyes.
She didn’t know where to look. Her fingers trembled. The boys were voicing her dreams. Cautiously she stole a quick glance at Cassian. He was frowning at his plate, cutting up a piece of beef into increasingly small pieces.
‘What happened to your Dad?’ Jai asked gently.
‘He didn’t stand by Mum,’ Adam said, his voice indignant. ‘He left her in the lurch. But she’s the best Mum in the world. You can share her if you like.’
‘Can I?’ Jai asked, his face wistful.
Laura’s heart jerked painfully. ‘Of course, Jai,’ she husked. If Cassian would only let her…
‘I thought you liked wandering the world, Jai,’ Cassian said gruffly, still intent on dissecting the beef out of all existence.
‘I do! It’s cool!’ Jai declared with passion. ‘I love new places and getting my education first hand from you and where we are, instead of—’
‘Wow! Your Dad teaches you?’ Adam asked in awe.
‘Yeah. Our life’s too nomadic for me to go to school. Dad sets me work—like…doing the shopping in the souk, working out exchange rates, comparing prices and currencies in other countries, that kind of thing. Or…I do a study on the effect of land form and climate on people’s life-styles—that was my last project. Or local art—that’s great, I get to talk to some real odd bods. And when Dad’s finished writing for the day, we
talk over what I’ve done.’
Cassian had stiffened imperceptibly. He was staring fixedly at the oblivious Jai—who was happily eating—as if he wanted to convey a message. Laura’s eyes narrowed.
‘Course,’ Jai went on, prompting Cassian to tense up even more, ‘when Dad’s really motoring on a book, I have to create my own education. That’s quite fun. I brush up on the local language or do a bit of painting. Sometimes I just read and read.’
Laura’s mind was racing. Cassian’s late wife had been a novelist. And he spent long hours ‘motoring on a book’.
‘I write thrillers,’ Cassian said quietly, plainly reading the expression on her face. ‘Under a pseudonym. I tell no one, no one, who I am. I don’t like my private life invaded. We travel so that I can research a particular setting for a novel.’
‘Wow!’ Adam’s eyes were popping. ‘Are you famous?’
‘I’ll say!’ Jai answered, matter-of-fact.
‘But anonymous,’ Cassian warned, and his son at last took the hint.
‘We won’t tell anyone. Will we, Adam?’ Laura promised.
A writer, she thought. And if Jai hadn’t innocently spilled the beans, she wouldn’t have known. Even now, Cassian wasn’t intending to tell her the name he wrote under. That hurt. He didn’t want to share a huge part of his life with her. She felt suddenly flat and depressed. Where did she stand with him?
‘You work on a computer?’ she asked, remembering how he’d deflected her questions about his job.
His eyes begged her forgiveness for that evasion. ‘I do.’
‘Anyway,’ Jai went on, ‘it’s a great way to live. I’m not knocking it, Dad. But for a while I’d like to be here. It’s a super house, isn’t it? And Adam and I are already good mates. Laura’s my kind of Mum-substitute. I’d have chosen her out of a million other women—’
‘Only a million?’ Cassian asked, eyebrow raised.
‘Ten,’ Jai amended.
‘A billion,’ Adam said.
She waited for Cassian to make his contribution. An advance on a billion would have been nice. But he didn’t.