Without thinking about what she was doing, she slid her right hand slowly down her abdomen and brushed the fingers of her left hand over a taut nipple. It sent a jolt through her body, and she let out a gasp when her fingers came in contact with her clit. She was wetter than she ever remembered being before. At least since the last time she’d been with Ash. Jordan stilled her fingers and held her breath as she stared up at the ceiling.
“What the fuck am I doing?” she asked no one. Ash had always been able to get under her skin, and apparently, fifteen years hadn’t changed that fact. Jordan hadn’t touched herself like this in a very long time. But spending the evening with Ash as a friend had been more frustrating than she’d thought it would be. She wiped her fingers on the sheets before forcing herself to get out of the bed. Being this turned on was unnerving, but knowing she could be just by thinking about a woman was invigorating. Thank God the MS hadn’t taken away her sex drive like the doctor warned it might.
She smiled as she walked toward the bathroom but stopped when her cell phone rang. She picked it up off the nightstand and felt a surge of excitement when she saw Ash’s name on the screen. They’d exchanged numbers the night before while they were eating dinner, and Jordan had programmed it into her phone as soon as Ash left.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning to you,” Ash said.
Jordan knew she had to be imagining it, but she could have sworn she heard a smile in Ash’s voice. How odd. How could you possibly hear a smile?
“I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No, I’ve been up for a whole ten minutes already.” Jordan opened a drawer and began pulling out the clothes she wanted to wear while she held the phone between her ear and her shoulder. “Why are you awake so early? I thought you had the day off.”
“I do. I’m going to Hoover Dam with a friend today. I was wondering if you’d be interested in joining us.”
Jordan stopped what she was doing and straightened. She didn’t know what to say. Of course she wanted to spend more time with Ash, but who was the friend she mentioned? She had no interest in being a third wheel.
“She’s my neighbor, and she’s in a wheelchair. I bring her to Vegas a couple times a month for dinner. You’re welcome to join us for dinner this evening too.”
“Sure, why not?” Jordan said as she looked at her reflection in the mirror above the dresser. “I’d only hang out in the casino all day otherwise. My bank account would probably prefer a day of sightseeing.”
Ash gave Jordan her home address and they hung up. Jordan looked again in the mirror. She’d kept herself in decent shape over the years. She was determined not to use her cane today, but she knew it would be foolish to leave the hotel without it. She couldn’t get the image out of her mind of a woman in a wheelchair. She’d probably end up in one someday herself, but the thought of it scared the living hell out of her.
*
“I finally get to meet the famous Jordan Stryker?”
“Jesus, Maria, she is not famous,” Ash said as she led her into the living room so they could wait for Jordan to get there.
Maria Forman and her husband, Lance, lived next door to Ash. Lance routinely went on business trips to Phoenix and Los Angeles, and Ash agreed to keep an eye on Maria for him. She’d been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis almost fifteen years earlier, and had only been forced to spend the majority of her time in the motorized chair for the past six months. Maria needed someone to keep an eye on her because she tended to think she didn’t need the chair and tried to do too much on her own. Maria also despised giving herself the injections of interferon she needed to keep the progress of her disease at a snail’s pace. Ash couldn’t really blame her on that front. The thought of sticking herself with a needle three days a week made her cringe inwardly.
“You seem nervous, Ash,” Maria said.
“I’m not,” she lied. The look Maria gave her indicated she didn’t believe her for a second. Ash sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, resigning herself to the fact she wasn’t going to be able to fool Maria. “I’m not sure how to act around her.”
“What do you mean, honey?”
“I get flustered when she’s anywhere near me. She makes my heart beat a little faster, and my hands shake.”
“Sounds to me like you still love her.” Maria folded her hands in her lap and sat back with what Ash could only describe as a self-satisfied smirk. “But I seem to recall you insisting you weren’t in love with her before.”
“That’s what I told myself, and I even believed it until I finally realized I was comparing everyone to her.”
“Sexually?”
“Sexually,” Ash said with a nod before taking a deep breath. “And not. Nobody’s ever been able to make me laugh like she does. And nobody’s ever been able to turn me on with just a look.”
Ash had the decency to blush at the statement, but it was true, and she’d known Maria long enough that she didn’t have a problem telling her the truth about her feelings. Maria brought her chair closer and took Ash’s hand in hers.
“Maybe you should tell her how you feel. You never know, she might feel the same way. You know I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. Perhaps you two were meant to be together. Why else would she show up in Vegas out of the blue? And at your hotel?”
“Um, maybe because she’s playing in the WSOP and it’s being held at the hotel I work at?”
“Stop.” Maria pulled her hands away and laughed as she slapped Ash’s leg playfully. “You know what I mean. Why did she leave her job, and why poker?”
Why did she leave her job indeed. That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? Ash made a vow to herself to find out the reasons.
*
“It doesn’t matter how many times I see it, it never fails to amaze me.”
Ash looked in the rearview mirror and smiled at Maria, who always seemed to make the most out of every day. They’d been to the Hoover Dam so many times Ash had lost count, but Maria always said the same thing after they got back on the road and headed back to Henderson.
“It is amazing,” Jordan said in agreement. “But the Dam has nothing on the Grand Canyon. I could look out over the rim every day and never get tired of it.”
“Oh, Ashley, you have to take me there someday,” Maria said.
“You’ve never been?” Jordan twisted in her seat to look back at her and Maria shook her head. Jordan looked at Ash. “You should have said something. We could have gone there instead. It’s only about a four-hour trip.”
“Maybe next Friday, if you aren’t busy.” Ash never took her eyes off the road. She was glad Jordan had warmed up to Maria as the day progressed. When she’d first arrived it seemed like she didn’t want anything to do with her. Ash couldn’t figure it out though, because the Jordan she remembered had always been at ease with everyone she met.
“My tournament ends Tuesday, and the next one doesn’t start until Sunday. We can leave early and I’ll do half the driving if you want.”
Ash smiled and nodded. She fought the urge to reach out and place a hand on Jordan’s thigh. It seemed like the natural thing to do, and that scared her. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and concentrated on driving.
“Ash, I think I just want to go home, if that’s all right,” Maria said when they got close to Henderson. Ash looked in the mirror in time to see Maria wink at her. “I’m pretty worn out, but you guys should go to dinner without me. Have fun.”
Ash knew what Maria was doing. And if the grin on Jordan’s face was any indication, she did too.
Chapter Ten
“You don’t have to go to dinner with me if you don’t want to,” Jordan said after they’d dropped Maria off at her house. Jordan had experienced tingling and numbness in her legs and feet off and on for most of the day. She’d passed it off as her foot falling asleep more than once and said something about a pinched nerve in her lower back, which was a lie. Ash seemed to have taken her exc
use at face value, but she’d felt Maria watching her curiously. She was relieved when Maria decided not to join them for dinner, but she also didn’t want Ash to feel as though she had to spend more time with her.
“Two nights in a row would be too much for you?” Ash asked.
Jordan knew she was kidding her. The smirk gave her away. Jordan wished she didn’t know her so well, but on the other hand, she wanted to get to know her so much better. But that was a bad idea. If she hadn’t known it before, meeting Maria made it painfully obvious. She’d wind up in a wheelchair someday, and Ash deserved more than to be forced into caring for her that way.
“I don’t think I’d ever get tired of spending time with you.” Jordan couldn’t have stopped the words even if she’d wanted to. Flirting seemed to come so naturally with Ash. And she’d say whatever she needed to say in order to get Ash to smile like she was now. “As friends, of course.”
“Of course.” She pulled into the driveway and shut off the ignition. “Let me just run inside and feed Trixie. You can go on ahead if you want. I can meet you at the hotel.”
Jordan nodded before they both got out of the car. She watched Ash walk up to the front door and allowed herself to think for just a moment what it would be like to have a life with her. She shook her head. Fantasy was nice, but it had no place in the real world. A life with Ash wasn’t meant to be. If it were, they’d have already celebrated their fifteenth anniversary.
*
Jordan took a seat in the hotel lobby and waited for Ash to arrive. She knew she’d only be a few minutes behind her so there was no reason to make her way up to her room. Ash might think she was trying to get her alone. Jordan smiled at the thought.
“Is this a private moment, or would you care to share the reason you have such a huge grin on your face?”
Jordan looked to her left and saw Mark, the hotel employee who’d shown her to her room the day she arrived. He was dressed in street clothes this evening, and Jordan had to wonder. Was the Rio such a great place to work that all the employees spent their off time there? It made sense that the hotel would want them to spend their money here, but she couldn’t imagine wanting to spend all her time in one place.
“It’s a private moment,” she answered and motioned for him to have a seat next to her. “I’m waiting for a friend. We’re having dinner together.”
“A friend?” Mark smiled. “You work fast, don’t you?”
“It really is a friend. We hadn’t seen each other in years when I ran into her the other night.” Jordan wondered if Mark knew Ash. It would make sense if they did since they worked in the same hotel, but then again, there were probably so many employees there that everyone couldn’t possibly know everyone else.
“Mark?”
They both looked up to see Ash standing in front of them. Ash smiled when Mark stood and gave her a hug. Jordan struggled to stand without giving away the fact her legs were cramping up. She smiled at the two of them. Maybe she should have gone up to her room to get her cane.
“You’re coming on the Fourth, right?” Mark asked. “My grandmother will be so upset if you don’t show up.”
“I wouldn’t miss one of your grandmother’s barbecues for the world, Mark, you know that.” Ash looked at Jordan and her expression warmed considerably. Jordan wondered if her cheeks were as flushed as they felt. “How do you know Jordan?”
“Mark showed me to my room the day I arrived.” Jordan hoped to forestall any mention by Mark that he’d given her the address of a bar the night Ash had come to her room. He apparently got the message because he smiled and nodded once when she caught his eye.
“Well, I should get going. I’m meeting a friend for dinner too.” He winked at Jordan before turning and disappearing into one of the many bars in the casino.
“So, where are we dining this evening?” Jordan asked.
“I thought we’d go out to the strip. Maybe the Rainforest Café?”
“I’ve never eaten there before.” Jordan followed when Ash headed for the front door of the hotel. “I hear it’s an interesting place.”
“You’re in for a treat if you’ve never been to one.” Ash smiled at her and Jordan’s pulse spiked. She had a feeling spending time with Ash was a big mistake. She wasn’t sure how long she could keep her libido in check, and it was obvious by the way Ash looked at her she was interested in more than being just friends as well.
*
Ash couldn’t stop the smile at Jordan’s expression when the lights in the restaurant dimmed and the animatronic rainforest animals came to life. She looked like a kid seeing Santa Claus for the first time.
“Wow,” she said in obvious wonder when the show was over. “That was amazing.”
“I love coming here with people who’ve never seen it before.” Ash looked around the restaurant and laughed at the exuberance of one little girl enamored by the monkeys hanging from the tree above her table. “It never gets old.”
“I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but you seem so much more relaxed than you did in LA,” Jordan said.
“I am more relaxed than I was in LA.” She knew Jordan expected her to become defensive, because that’s what Ashley Green would have done. But Ashley Noble was more laid back. More of a take it as it comes kind of woman instead of someone who was constantly worried about what other people thought. Other people, meaning her parents and her husband. “I’m not sure if it was because I didn’t belong in the police department, or if I was just so unhappy in my marriage, but I was wound way too tight back then.”
“Don’t I know it,” Jordan said with a laugh.
Ash bit her bottom lip gently as she realized she’d come to a crossroads. Did she let the moment go, or did she take a chance and tell Jordan how she was feeling? Before she could contemplate it too much, she reached out and covered Jordan’s hand with her own.
“I really am sorry, Jordan. You meant so much more to me than I ever let you know. Spending time with you now has made me realize how good things could have been between us if I’d only followed my heart instead of letting everyone else’s expectations dictate the decisions I made.” Ash was aware of how loud her pulse was pounding in her ears, and she was sure everyone in the restaurant had to be able to hear it too. She didn’t remove her hand and Jordan didn’t pull away from her, so she took that as a good sign. “I’ve missed you.”
“Excuse me, ladies,” their waiter said. They both sat back to allow him room to put their food on the table. “Enjoy your meal, and don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything.”
When he was gone, Jordan stared at her steak for a moment before reaching for the salt and pepper. She’d been so hungry when they first arrived, and knew what she wanted to order after a cursory glance at the menu. But now she wasn’t sure she could eat anything. She put her hands in her lap, where Ash couldn’t see they were shaking. She knew how hard it had been for Ash to say what she’d said, and she couldn’t just ignore it. Couldn’t let it go and pretend they were just friends who were sharing a meal.
“I’ve missed you, too,” Jordan finally said when their eyes met across the table. But as soon as the words were out there, she wished she’d kept her thoughts to herself. If Ash was hoping to pick up where they’d left off fifteen years ago, she was going to be disappointed. One-night stands were the new normal for Jordan since her diagnosis. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone, let alone Ash, to expect them to be caretaker for someone in a wheelchair. She knew that’s where she’d be somewhere down the road, but if it would be tomorrow or twenty years from now, she didn’t know. It was the uncertainty of the disease that was so fucking unfair.
She’d never met anyone with MS until Maria. She’d spent what seemed like a million hours researching it online. She’d read too many brochures and articles to remember. Yet the ambiguity of what her future held scared the hell out of her, so how could she ever expect anyone else to be equipped to deal with it? While the medication she was on would slow the prog
ression, it didn’t change the fact it would progress, because there was no cure.
“Jordan?”
She opened her eyes without even realizing she’d closed them. The look on Ash’s face was one of concern, and Jordan knew she’d probably asked her a question. She forced a smile and shook her head.
“I’m sorry, I just got a little lost there. What did you say?”
“I asked if you’d mind teaching me how to play poker sometime.”
“Sure.” She seasoned her steak before unfolding her napkin and putting it on her lap. “How about tonight? We can find a table here in the MGM and you can observe.”
“I’d rather do it somewhere private. We could go back to my house, or to your room. I’m more of a hands-on learner.”
Jordan almost choked on her steak. She downed most of her beer and motioned the waiter for another round. Yes, she could attest to the fact Ash was a hands-on learner. And what incredibly amazing hands they were, too. She wasn’t entirely sure what she agreed to, but she nodded and Ash looked pleased with herself. She couldn’t shake the feeling that their evening was headed down a dangerous path.
Chapter Eleven
Jordan looked scared to death as they walked into Ash’s house later that evening. Ash led her to the dining room and handed her a deck of cards. She could see in Jordan’s eyes that she was interested in rekindling what they had before, but her body language was telling Ash something completely different.
“I don’t have any poker chips, sorry.” Ash placed a beer on the table to Jordan’s right and then took a seat to her left.
“No problem. Have you got any matchsticks, or pretzels?” Jordan shuffled the deck without looking up. Her hands were shaking, and Ash wanted nothing more than to ease her nervousness.
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