Up The Ante

by Trebelhorn, PJ

  They made arrangements to meet at the hospital, and Jordan made him promise her he wouldn’t make the doctors wait if they decided she needed the surgery sooner rather than later. She hung up and immediately called Ash’s cell phone but there was no answer and the recording claimed her voicemail was full. She decided to try the hotel, hoping they could transfer her to security. Speaking to her over the phone would be better than a note, right? They put her on hold and she ran upstairs to grab her things. By the time she was ready to walk out the door, she was finally transferred.

  “Security, Jan speaking.”

  “Jan, it’s Jordan. I need to speak with Ash right away.”

  “Sorry, Jordan, but she’s in the middle of throwing out a belligerent drunk. She’s probably outside with him waiting for the cops to get here. Can I take a message?”

  Jordan thought about it for a moment and ultimately decided it would be the best way.

  “My mother’s had a stroke and I need to get back to Flagstaff ASAP. The doctors don’t think she’s going to make it, and my brother needs me there with him. Tell her I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

  “Sure, I can let her know.”

  “Thanks, Jan, I appreciate it.”

  Jordan hung up and was about to leave when she had a strange feeling Jan might not give Ash the message. It was a terrible thing to think about someone she barely knew, but Jan struck her as a bit of a flake. She got the pad and pen she’d used earlier to make the shopping list and quickly wrote out a note. It was probably better this way for both of them. Ash was going to hate her for saying good-bye this way, but just knowing she wasn’t going to have to look at Ash when she told her good-bye made her anxiety levels drop.

  Besides, she knew she’d never be able to say good-bye to her face-to-face, because all she could think about when Ash was around was how nice it would be to stay in Vegas and be with her. She wouldn’t be able to walk away, but she knew she had to.

  So yes, while it was easier this way, it certainly didn’t make it hurt any less.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Ash felt her stomach sink when she pulled into the driveway and there weren’t any lights on. Jordan had been parking her car in the garage so she reached up to where the opener was on the visor and took a deep breath before pushing the button. When she saw the garage was empty, she felt as though her heart might break into a thousand pieces. Jordan had promised she’d stay. Ash wasn’t surprised though. It was obvious Jordan didn’t want to tell her about her MS.

  It pissed Ash off that Jordan felt she could arbitrarily make decisions that affected more than just herself. Didn’t Ash have a say in what she wanted? She wanted Jordan, but Jordan was apparently taking herself out of the equation for her. Why hadn’t she found out where in Philadelphia Jordan lived? She fumed in her car for a few minutes before finally getting out and slamming the door in frustration.

  Once inside she noticed a half-empty beer bottle on the coffee table and an unopened bag of Doritos next to it. Maybe she hadn’t left, Ash thought, feeling hopeful for a moment. Maybe she just ran out to the store. Ash went upstairs and looked in the drawers she’d cleaned out for Jordan. They were empty. Her suitcase was gone. Everything was gone. She grabbed the phone and dialed Jordan’s cell, but she must have had it turned off because it went right to voicemail. Ash collapsed onto the bed and promised herself she wouldn’t cry.

  She succeeded for all of five minutes, which was how long it took for Trixie to find her and curl up on her chest, purring as if nothing in the world had changed. She closed her eyes and willed herself not to think about Jordan. She was exhausted after having to work so many days in a row, and even though she couldn’t keep Jordan out of her mind, she drifted off to sleep in just a few minutes.

  *

  Jordan arrived at the hospital at the same time she knew Ash would be getting home from work. She tried not to think about it as she rushed to the entrance and asked the woman at the desk for her brother. A few minutes went by before Matt came walking down the corridor to her right. Jordan almost lost it when she saw he’d been crying.

  “Is she…” Jordan couldn’t finish the question. The lump in her throat was too big. She pulled him into a fierce hug. She’d never been close with her mother, but it still hurt to think she’d arrived too late.

  “She’s in surgery now. They took her in about forty-five minutes ago. They said they couldn’t wait any longer.”

  “I’m so sorry I didn’t get here in time to see her before surgery, Matty, but she’s a fighter. She’ll pull through this.”

  “I hope you’re right. We should get back up to the waiting room. The doctor said someone would find me there to give me updates.”

  Jordan nodded and followed him to the elevators. They were the only people in the surgical waiting area, and Jordan was grateful. She really didn’t want to deal with any people. They took two comfortable but really ugly yellow chairs against the wall and sat in silence as they waited for an update. Jordan looked around the room, noticing it could have been any room in any hospital she’d ever been in with its drab gray walls and institutional flooring.

  She pulled her phone out before remembering she’d turned it off when she left Ash’s house. She decided to leave it off. She really wasn’t in any state of mind to talk to Ash at the moment. She was surprised to realize she was hurting over the possible loss of her mother. When their father had died, she couldn’t have cared less. She assumed it would be the same with her mother, but it wasn’t. Maybe there really was some kind of special bond between a mother and child. Funny, she’d never felt it before.

  New tears sprang forth when Matt reached over and clasped her hand. He’d never sought comfort before. Their father had drilled into him that men don’t cry, and they certainly never allowed their emotions to show. She held on to him tightly and leaned over to lay her head on his shoulder. After a moment, he rested his head against hers, and Jordan fell asleep after a few minutes.

  *

  When Ash awoke, the sun was just starting to rise. Her bedroom faced the east and she hadn’t thought to close the curtains the night before so it was shining in her eyes. Trixie had moved so she was lying against her shoulder, snoring softly in her ear. She stared at the ceiling, wondering why she should even bother getting up. She didn’t have to be at work for two days, and Jordan leaving without a word certainly seemed like a good excuse for a pity party.

  She shook her head and sat up, wincing at the way her back protested. Sleeping on her back with her feet flat on the floor apparently didn’t agree with her. She stood and stretched until she felt a satisfying pop in her spine. She glanced at the rumpled clothes she hadn’t bothered taking off the night before. Coffee or shower?

  Without giving too much thought to it, she stripped and walked into the bathroom. When she was done, Trixie was curled up in the clothes she’d left on the floor. She pulled on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt before heading down to make coffee. When she walked into the kitchen, her steps faltered at the sight of a piece of paper taped to the coffee maker. Her heart felt like someone squeezed it and she mentally berated herself for not looking in the kitchen last night.

  She grabbed it and leaned against the counter to read.

  Ash,

  I’m so sorry to leave this way. I really did intend to stay as I promised. I got a call from my brother. My mother’s had a stroke and I need to be there. If not for her, then for Matt. He still has this idyllic picture of her in his head, and if she dies, it might just send him over the edge.

  I tried to call you at work, but your cell went directly to voicemail, and I finally got in touch with Jan. Hopefully, she gave you the message I left, but if not, I decided I’d leave you this note just in case.

  Maybe it’s better this way, Ash. I can’t stay in Vegas with you. I told you it was complicated, but I’m not sure how I could even begin to explain it to you. Please know that I love you. I will always love you, but we just can’t be together.

/>   Love,

  Jordan

  Ash stared at the words, the tears in her eyes making it difficult to read. But she didn’t need to read the part where Jordan said she left a message with Jan again. A message she never received. Still gripping the note in her hand, Ash grabbed the phone and dialed Jan.

  “’Lo?” Jan asked after the third ring.

  “Did I wake you? Sorry.” She paced as she tried to control her breathing. She definitely was not sorry for waking her, and she was sure her tone conveyed that. “Is there maybe something you want to tell me?”

  “Ash? Is that you?” There was muffled noise in the background. Ash didn’t know if she was disentangling herself from another body or if she was just trying to look at the clock, and she didn’t care. “Jesus, what time is it?”

  “Seven.”

  “In the morning? Fuck. What’s wrong?”

  “Do you have something to tell me?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Did Jordan call and leave a message for me last night?”

  The intake of breath and silence that followed answered her question. Ash slammed the note down on the counter and pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger.

  “Where was I when she called, and why the fuck didn’t you give me the message?”

  “You were waiting for the cops with that asshole drunk, and I completely forgot about the message by the time you got back to the office. Jesus, I’m sorry, Ash.”

  “What was the message? Did she say where she was going?”

  “Her mother had a stroke, I think. She said she was going to…fuck, I can’t remember.”

  “Think about it.” Ash was trying hard to be patient. She was sure Jan hadn’t deliberately forgotten to give her the message. She could be a bit of an airhead at times. It had probably been an honest mistake. That didn’t make it any easier to deal with now though. “I think she said she’d been in Arizona to visit her mother in a nursing home before she came to Vegas if that helps to jog your memory.”

  “Flagstaff!” Jan said after a moment. “She was in a hospital in Flagstaff.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Hey, Ash, I really am sorry.”

  Ash didn’t say anything as she disconnected the call. She went upstairs to the room she used as a home office and powered up her laptop. There couldn’t be that many hospitals in Flagstaff, could there?

  Ten minutes later, she had the address for the Flagstaff Medical Center and a plan. It wasn’t necessarily a good plan, but she wasn’t about to let Jordan get away without a fight. She let her go once. She wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Jordan opened her eyes and saw a man in scrubs walking toward them. She nudged Matt hard with her elbow. He quickly sat up straight and rubbed his eyes. Jordan wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what this man had to say. She wasn’t ready to say good-bye to her mother yet.

  “Mr. Stryker, I just wanted to let you know your mother is resting comfortably.” The man’s name was Gary Mills, according to the ID badge he wore on the left side of his chest.

  “Thank you, Dr. Mills,” Matt said, sounding relieved.

  “When can we see her?” Jordan asked.

  “I’m sorry, who are you?”

  “This is my sister, Jordan.”

  “Your mother was asking for you just before we put her under for the surgery.” He smiled before running a hand over his bald head. “I’m sure she’ll be happy you’re here.”

  “When can we see her?” Jordan asked again. She wasn’t convinced her mother would be happy she was there, so she chose not to respond to his remark.

  “She’s in recovery now. We’ll need to keep an eye on her for a while, but I’m hoping to get her moved to a private room this afternoon. You can see her then. In the meantime, I suggest you both go get something to eat and perhaps go back to your hotel for some rest in a real bed. I’m certain these chairs aren’t very comfortable to sleep in. Someone will come to let you know when you can see her. If you aren’t here, we’ll call the cell number you provided, Mr. Stryker.”

  “Thank you, again,” Matt said, grasping the doctor’s hand briefly.

  “Is she going to be all right?” Jordan asked, putting voice to the question she knew Matt was afraid to ask.

  “I honestly can’t say what kind of permanent damage there may be from the stroke she suffered. Something you need to be aware of though, she doesn’t have control of the facial muscles on the right side. And as with any brain surgery, there’s always a chance of complications. She isn’t out of the woods yet, but I’m cautiously optimistic about her chances.”

  When the doctor left them, Jordan glanced at the clock on the far wall. She couldn’t believe it was ten thirty in the morning. Twelve hours earlier, she was halfway between Vegas and Flagstaff.

  “Why don’t we go grab something to eat?” she suggested.

  “Yeah, I think there’s a cafeteria somewhere.”

  “No, not hospital food.” Jordan shook her head. She hated the look of panic in his eyes. “The doctor said it would be a while. Let’s get some real food. He has your cell number, right?”

  Jordan felt more energized after they had breakfast, but there was still a hollow feeling in her stomach, and she was certain the ache in her heart would never go away. How could she have left Ash—twice?

  “How did you do in your tournaments?” Matt asked as he looked at his phone for what felt to Jordan like the millionth time since they sat down.

  “I won the first one, didn’t do so well in the others.”

  “Hey, that’s great you won one of them.” He smiled, but Jordan knew he was distracted. He’d probably forget everything they talked about by the time they got back to the hospital. “What about the Main Event?”

  “I entered, and I got knocked out on day six.” Jordan still cringed inwardly when she thought about the pocket deuces that beat her.

  “So what did you do when you weren’t playing poker? I mean you were there for like three weeks, right?”

  “Yeah.” She debated whether to tell him about Ash. Part of her wanted to keep the past couple of weeks her own little secret, but another part wanted someone to tell her what she did was right. She could always count on Matty to back her up. “You remember when we were here for Mom’s birthday before I went to Vegas?”

  “Yeah,” he answered, looking as though he were trying to remember what they’d talked about.

  “I told you about a woman I had an affair with a long time ago. A woman who was married.”

  “Yeah, her name was Ashley, right? You said you fell in love with her.”

  Jordan nodded and looked down at her empty plate. She closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to ward off the pain, but it didn’t work. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and raised her eyes to look at him again.

  “Believe it or not, she’s now head of security at the hotel I was staying at, which is also the hotel the tournament was being played at.”

  “Wow, I bet that was awkward.”

  “It was, at first. But we spent some time together. She’s divorced now, and she’s a lesbian. She left her husband and LA six years ago.”

  “So, are you guys an item?”

  “What? No. I told you I won’t get involved with anyone because of the MS. I refuse to have anyone stay with me because they feel obligated.” They were both silent, and she saw Matt looking at her the way he always did when he thought she was being dense. She held her hands out in front of her, palms up. “What?”

  “Did you even tell her? Did you give her an opportunity to make a decision on her own? Does she want something with you? Do you with her?”

  “No, I didn’t tell her. What’s the point? And do you always ask that many questions at once?”

  “I do,” he said with a nod. “I’m an FBI agent. You realize you only answered one of my questions though, right?”

  “Te
chnically two, because the answer addressed both of the first two questions.” Jordan smiled at their bantering. It felt good. “And the answers to the last two? Yes, and yes.”

  “Then why the hell are you here alone? Knowing you, you probably left without even telling her, didn’t you?”

  “I left her a note.”

  “Jesus, Jordan.”

  “Look, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

  “I am on your side. I will always be on your side. But you’re being stubborn. If she makes you happy, why not give it a chance?”

  “Because Ashley Noble deserves better than to be stuck caring for someone with MS.”

  *

  Ash parked her vehicle and ran to the front doors of the hospital. She tried to catch her breath before approaching the desk. She wasn’t sure how Jordan was going to react to her just showing up out of the blue and she wanted to be as calm and collected as possible.

  “May I help you?” the woman behind the desk asked with a friendly smile.

  “I hope so. I believe you have a patient here with the last name Stryker. She would have come in last night after a stroke?”

  Ash waited as the woman typed something into the computer. “Yes, we do have a woman with that name here. May I ask what your relationship is to her?”

  “I’m not related. I need to speak to her daughter. Could you please page Jordan Stryker for me? It’s an emergency.”

  The woman looked skeptical but after a moment got onto the PA system and paged Jordan. Ash took her first deep breath since leaving Vegas four hours earlier.

  “You can wait over there in the lobby.” She pointed to a group of chairs and dismissed her. “I’ll send her over when she comes down.”