Wrangled

by Natasha Stories

  “I sure will, hon. Don’t worry, just give her some time. Maybe after the trial she’ll perk up.” Charity put her hand on my arm and patted me like she was gentlin’ a foal. I hadn’t meant to show her how bad I felt, but I guess I did.

  “I sure hope so. Why don’t she talk to anybody about it, Charity?” I had an idea it was like me when my mom died. I had all these feelin’s from sadness that mom was gone to anger at her that she’d left me even though it weren’t her fault. And rage at my dad. I’d have liked to have a chance to whale on him some, for poisonin’ her with that meth. I didn’t want to talk to no one, either, except Uncle Hank. I wondered if Annalee had someone she could say anything to. I shoulda knowed it was Charity, and that Annalee was talkin’ but Charity was keepin’ her secrets.

  ~~~

  When Jason Clark come to trial, I had to go ‘cause I was a witness. The cops and the DA both thought he was somehow responsible for his parents’ deaths, but they never could find no evidence. So they was goin’ for maximum sentence on the rape. It didn’t get any easier for me to think of that word and Annalee in the same thought, so Russ was worried I’d do somethin’ stupid. I promised him I wouldn’t try to do nothin’ to Jason in the courthouse. But if that fucker got off, I’d punish him my way once he was out. That was a promise I made to myself, and to Annalee, though I didn’t make her hear it.

  Charity was there, too, but Russ said he didn’t think Annalee’d want him to hear all the details about what had happened, and he pointed out kinda strong that he didn’t think she’d want me hearin’ ‘em either, so I should stay outta the courtroom ‘til they called me to testify. But I knew that if we was gonna make a life together, I’d have to face those things, and I thought if I heard ‘em in court, she wouldn’t have to tell me later. I asked Charity to tell Annalee why I was there, so it wouldn’t look like I just had some sick curiosity.

  Annalee was the main witness for the prosecution, but for some reason, everyone else was called to give their testimony before she was. When it was my turn, I told how I went lookin’ for her with Ciara, and why we went to Jason Clark’s house. I told about the scream, and hurt inside when I saw Annalee wince. When it got to the part where I put a blanket on her, I was near to cryin’, and I couldn’t look at her or I woulda. I couldn’t stand them images of her all tied up, naked and bruised and bloody. When the DA got done with me, it was time for Clark’s lawyer, and he asked some damned insultin’ questions.

  Whether I’d had sex with Annalee was one of the first ones. Her eyes went big, and I knew if I said yes, I could lose her forever. So I looked a the judge and said, “Do I have to answer that, Your Honor? I don’t see what it has to do with whether Jason Clark beat the shit out of her and raped her.” Everyone in the audience started talkin’ in whispers.

  The judge banged his gavel and said, “Order!” To me, he said, “I’m afraid you do, Mr. Wayne.”

  I sent Annalee a desperate look, and she closed her eyes. Then she opened ‘em, looked me right in the eyes and nodded. So I said, “Before I made the worst mistake in my life and chose the rodeo over Annalee and the kids, yessir, I did have the honor of makin’ love with her. I hope to again, someday.”

  The folks in the audience started talkin’ again and some was laughin’. Annalee kept her eyes on mine, and I thought she was almost smilin’.

  “Mr. Wayne! I asked you a question,” the defense lawyer said.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear it,” I answered him, givin’ Annalee a little wink.

  “I said, so you knew Ms. Nielsen is prone to having consensual sex, is that correct?” he said.

  “I don’t know what you’re tryin’ to get at, mister, but I don’t call it sex when someone’s bein’ tied up hand and foot and beat on, much less consensual,” I wanted to spit in the man’s face for suggestin’ Annalee’d asked for that treatment.

  “Have you ever heard the term BDSM, or bondage, Mr. Wayne?”

  “Nosir,” I said. I didn’t know what the hell he was talkin’ about, and I was gettin’ tired of the smirk on his face.

  “It’s when a willing subject allows herself to be tied…”

  “Objection!” shouted the DA, makin’ me jump. “Mr. O’Neal is attempting to testify, your Honor. I would respectfully ask you to put an end to this line of questioning. Asked and answered.”

  “Sustained,” said the judge, and that was the end of the stupid questions. I got dismissed and the next one up on the stand was Jack Weston. Then the EMTs, who testified to how they found Annalee, and finally the doctor, who said she’d been penetrated while not in a state of arousal. I took that to mean rape, and that’s what the doctor said it was. Every time he got a chance, the defense attorney tried to ask about that BS thing, and the DA kept knockin’ him down a notch.

  Finally, it was Annalee’s turn to testify. I’d seen her walk into the courtroom scared and shakin’, with her head down and her voice barely loud enough to hear. But when she got up on that stand, I could see a change in her. Her eyes was sparkin’ off that defense attorney, and when she glanced at Jason Clark, her lip curled and she give a bitter-lookin’ smile.

  I knew the DA had gone over the story with Annalee, and it looked like he’d done a good job. He led her from how she come to know Jason, and how she come to start datin’ him, to why she kept on datin’ him even after he started scarin’ her. When it come to that night, her voice got a little shaky, but everyone could hear her as she described what the fucker had done to her. I wanted to be sick.

  Them things happenin’ to my sweet girl was just the worst thing I could think of. I’d have give anything to take it back, start over back in the spring, and never give her a reason to leave the ranch. Hearin’ her tell it with her head up, though, made me so proud of her I was fit to bust. She hadn’t done nothin’ wrong but trust a monster.

  Then the defense attorney started askin’ her questions. “Isn’t it true, Ms. Nielsen, that you have a history of, shall we say, unusual sexual behavior?”

  “No, sir, not at all,” she said.

  “Really? Do you deny that you lived with a man old enough to be your grandfather, along with sixteen other women? And that this man routinely injected corporal punishment into your conjugal relations?” Them was some big words, but I got it and Annalee got it. She turned pale, and I started seeing red.

  “That’s not the way it was,” she started.

  “Just answer the question yes or no, please. Remember you are under oath.”

  Annalee looked at the prosecutor for help, but he was jotting something on a pad and didn’t see her. Then she looked at the judge, who nodded encouragingly.

  “I was married in a polygamist cult. What you say is factual, but it isn’t truth.” Annalee lifted her chin, darin’ the attorney to ask another question, which would only give her another chance to explain more. I watched the attorney fight with himself, and then decide to drop that idea and take up another.

  “Isn’t it true, Ms. Nielsen, that your sexual relationship with my client was entirely consensual?” the attorney asked.

  “No, that is not true,” Annalee was firm on this point, no hesitation at all.

  “Do you deny that you willingly went out with my client, even after the occasion on which you told Mrs. White that you were concerned about his sexual treatment of you?” I knew he was actin’ but the guy sounded like he was amazed that she’d try to deny it. It did look bad. I wondered why she’d gone with him myself.

  “I was engaged to him, and he had done a lot for me and my children. I felt obligated to go out with him, and felt that after we were married, he would stop punishing me for being hesitant to have a child with him.”

  “Oh, come now, Ms. Nielsen, did he say he was punishing you for that reason? Or do you just enjoy bondage and domination?”

  “I don’t even know what that is. But if it means tying me up and hitting me, I most certainly do not enjoy it. I allowed him to handcuff me before, but he never hit me until th
at night. Now that I know what he’s capable of, I wouldn’t marry him if he were the last man on earth!”

  “Objection, your Honor, the witness’s answer was non-responsive. Move to strike.”

  “Calvin, I can strike it from the record, but I can’t strike it from the jury’s memory. I think her answer was pretty responsive myself. Are you sure you want to ask any more questions?”

  I was grinnin’ like a fool. Annalee’d beat the bastard at his own game, and the judge knew it, the jury knew it. Even Annalee knew it. Calvin sat down and fumed, while the prosecutor stood up for re-direct.

  “Ms. Nielsen, do you have anything more to say about your former marriage?”

  “Yes, sir. I was fifteen years old and I wasn’t given a choice. I hated that life and the man that I was yoked to. The only thing good to come out of it was my two children, who I’d do anything to protect. Even date an asshole.”

  Calvin jumped up and yelled “Objection!” as Annalee’s word brought down the house. The judge had to bang his gavel for about two minutes before everyone settled down long enough to hear it.

  “Sustained. Ms. Nielsen, you will maintain proper decorum in my courtroom. You may not call the defendant an asshole.” His eyes was twinklin’ though.

  I guess the prosecutor decided he’d done enough and didn’t want to risk any more incidents. He dismissed Annalee and rested his case. There wasn’t much good ol’ Calvin could do for Jason Clark. I’d heard that they was lookin’ for character witnesses, and couldn’t find anyone who’d stand up for the bastard. All he could do was claim it was consensual and hope the jury agreed. He rested without callin’ Jason to the stand.

  The judge told the jury what the law was and told ‘em to base their verdict on the law, not on emotions, or whether they approved of a lifestyle that included tyin’ women up if they was willin’. Still, it didn’t take ‘em but an hour to bring in a guilty verdict. Jason Clark was remanded to the county jail to wait for sentencin’.

  I walked over to where Charity was holdin’ Annalee in her arms, but I didn’t know what to say. Annalee was cryin’ and saying she just didn’t know what to do about the hospital. On top of Al’s bill, which I’d heard was a humdinger, now she had her own to worry about. I asked how much was it all told.

  “Over a hundred thousand dollars,” she answered me. “Cody, I haven’t treated you right. I should have thanked you a long time ago for finding me. You saved my life.”

  “I was glad to do it, Annalee. It’s okay. I know you’ve had a rough time,” I said.

  “No, it’s not okay. When they made you say right out loud that you’d had sex with me, I was happy that you said it the way you did. I wish we could start fresh. But I don’t think any man’s going to want me with a debt that size hanging over me.” She said the last to Charity, who said, “Honey, I’ve told you there are ways to fix it. We’ll figure this out, don’t worry.”

  “I just wish I could make Jason pay for my hospital bill. It was his fault, after all,” Annalee said.

  “Well, there you are. We’ll sue him for civil damages. He’s got money, and with a conviction on the criminal charges, it should be a no-brainer. Let’s go see Bill while we’re here in town.”

  Chapter 17

  Right in the middle of the trial, my attitude did a flip and I suddenly had more clarity than I’d had since I woke up in the hospital. Up until then, I’d been depressed, and the medicines that the doctor gave me for it seemed to make it worse. I couldn’t believe what a mess I’d made of my life. It took more than six weeks for my arm to heal enough so I could pick up Tali, or change her diaper, the real estate office was closed down so I couldn’t work, even if I’d been able to face people. And I was back on Russ and Charity’s, well, charity.

  I was so humiliated that Cody and the police and EMTs had seen me naked, tied up and beaten. It felt like my fault; I kept telling myself I was stupid to go out with Jason that night, since I knew he was really mad. I’d just about convinced myself I got what I deserved when Charity figured out what I was thinking and made me go to a counselor. She helped me to get my head on straight, but I still couldn’t look Cody in the eye. The others at least were professionals, but Cody was special. My first true love.

  I wasn’t sure whether the renewed feelings I had for him were gratitude for what he’d done for me, or desperate wishes for something we’d had and couldn’t have again. But one thing I was sure of was that he couldn’t possibly look at me without seeing that awful sight I’d seen in the police photographs. I looked like a whore, hanging by my arms with my feet spread apart on that bar and bruises all over my naked body. He’d seen that. He’d surely see it every time he looked at me if we got back together. So I avoided him as much as possible.

  When Jason’s defense attorney pinned him to the wall with that question about sex with me, my head filled up with helium and at the same time, my stomach dropped. All I could think about was they were dragging him through a humiliating experience just to discredit me, and how unfair was that? He didn’t answer for the longest time, and then he asked the judge if he had to. It was so sweet that he wanted to protect me.

  That’s when everything flipped. I started staring at him until he felt it and caught my eye. I nodded. ‘Tell them’ I sent him mentally. ‘You were the best, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, and I don’t care who knows it.’ He swallowed once, then said some of the most beautiful words I’d ever heard from him. He got it! He understood what had torn us apart, and not only that, but he regretted losing the kids, too. “Someday I hope to again,” he said, looking into my eyes as if we were alone instead of in a courtroom with dozens of other people. It wasn’t just testimony, it was a promise.

  I knew then that I’d never stopped loving Cody. How do you stop loving someone, anyway? Either you never loved him in the first place, or he’s done something so vile, so horrifying, that not even a mother could love him. In the case of Jason, it was both. I knew I’d never loved him. But even if I had, I couldn’t after what he’d done.

  Cody, however, was still there, still in love with me and had given up the rodeo. There was hope for us, I felt, if only… If only a certain four-year-old hadn’t been bitten by a rattler and a certain mom hadn’t had the poor judgment to put herself in harm’s way with a sexual sadist. No matter what he felt for me, no matter what I felt for him, I couldn’t saddle Cody with that debt. It was a hopeless feeling.

  ~~~

  Cody didn’t live at Russ’s ranch any more. Actually, he lived at the ranch house I’d found for their business. Russ made sure I got my license moved to another agency before they closed on the sale, which had to be written up again because of that. But it couldn’t go through otherwise. Because of his conviction on sex charges, Jason’s license had been suspended and would likely be revoked. Anyway, I got a nice commission out of it, but nowhere near enough to pay off the hospital bill, even if Russ did insist I use it for that instead of to pay rent.

  At dinnertime, though, more often than not, Cody showed up. Charity explained that he didn’t really know how to cook, and she’d invited him to continue to share meals at the ranch. He was going to have to arrange something different, though, before much longer. It was nearly winter, now, and the Wyoming weather didn’t care about a young man that couldn’t fend for himself. Blizzards would keep him penned at his place, sometimes for days.

  After the trial, it was a little easier to look at Cody, and I often found him staring at me across the table. Not in a way that made me uncomfortable. He looked like he was trying to communicate something to me. One evening, I signaled him to hold up in the kitchen when he went to take care of his plate as usual.

  “Cody, I’ve been thinking,” I said.

  “Yeah? About me, I hope,” he grinned.

  I looked up at him from under my eyelashes and gave him what I hoped was a flirty smile. “Maybe,” I said. “Seriously, Cody, what are you going to do when the snow flies? If you can’t get here to eat, I me
an.”

  “Hadn’t given it much thought,” he said. “I guess I’d better lay in some grub I can just heat up.”

  “And who’s cleaning that big house for you? Anyone?” I pressed.

  “Aw, Annalee, it don’t need to be cleaned. I mean, I ain’t there that much. I’m workin’ outside most of the time, just go in to sleep and get up and have a bowl of cereal, then go back to work. It don’t get that dirty.”

  I felt a little sick at the thought of the Wyoming sand that crept into every nook and cranny in this house, the state of the bathrooms if he hadn’t cleaned them in the weeks he’d lived there, and the dishes in the sink probably attracting roaches. “Cody Wayne, you can’t live like that!” I exclaimed. “I’m coming over tomorrow to clean for you.”

  He looked a little alarmed, but seeing the determination on my face, gave in. “Okay. I’ll ask Janet for some grub to take home for lunch for the two of us. Will you be bringin’ the kids?”

  “I don’t think so,” I said. “I can get more work done without them. I’ll ask Janey to watch them.”

  What I was hoping was to nudge him into asking me to stay. I’d be happy to cook and clean for him, and maybe, just maybe, there’d come a time when I could think about him touching me without remembering the last man that touched me. I couldn’t tell Cody that I still loved him, not when I was so scared of sex. But if I could get over that, maybe we could make a life.

  The next day, I sweet-talked Janey into watching Al and Tali all day, and borrowed a car from Russ to go over to the little ranch. It was just a fifteen-minute drive from the Rocking W, just barely enough time to wonder if they were ever going to name it anything but the little ranch. When I got there, I found the door unlocked, but Cody was nowhere in the house. I guessed he was out in the barn, so I went through the house to survey the damage.

  I was right about the bathrooms. They looked like the whole crew had been using them, and that was probably the case. I cleaned the basement first, starting with that bath. The bed in the bedroom down there was bare, and there was no furniture at all in the family room. A brand-new washer and dryer were in the laundry room. It looked like Cody was furnishing one room at a time, as he could afford it. I went upstairs to see if he needed any laundry done, and found the bed that was in use in the biggest of the three bedrooms.