Change of Chaos

by Jacinta Jade

  Pulling nervously at a lock of her long red hair, Siray kept looking down at the front of her robe to check it hadn’t shifted or wrinkled since she had last checked it a moment earlier. She pushed the strand of hair she had been playing with back from her face, and from farther up the line, a face grinned at her.

  Trelar had recognised and was laughing at her nervous gesture.

  Siray grinned back, her nerves potentially giving her smile a slightly crazed aspect. Trelar was only just visible, her darker skin blending with the night while Siray’s more pale skin seemed to glow.

  As a deep rolling drumbeat began to sound through the night air, Trelar turned away, looking eagerly back up the hill. Siray could feel the drumbeat rolling through her body as she also focused her attention on top of the hill above them.

  Nearby, Firna was emerging from a tent that had been erected for the night and came to stand before their line. Siray could see the guide clearly as he showed his palms to them by extending his arms out and down—the Kaslonian way of peaceful greeting and well-wishing. ‘It is time,’ the guide said, his voice conveying his obvious pride in this moment.

  Siray thought she might have seen a hint of sadness in Firna’s eyes just before he pivoted and nodded to the first youth in line. It stilled her for a moment, as she realised that this was the last time that Firna would be her guide. She and the others of her cycle class were losing a teacher, a parent, and an older sibling, all in one night. Then Firna looked away, and Siray gave herself a mental shake. Tonight was for celebration—she would see Firna again one day.

  The guide led Siray’s group up a winding path beneath the branches of several large trees until they reached a point where the trees began to thin before disappearing close to the top of Ceremony Hill. Firna stopped the line of youths at a point just before two large white rocks that seemed to glow with an almost inner light as Siray stared at them.

  Motioning for the group of youths to wait, Firna moved forwards a little into the clearing. From her position in line, Siray watched quietly with the others as Firna solemnly bowed his head, showing his palms to three figures in robes of blue who had emerged from the darkness to greet him.

  Their attire only visible by the light of torches placed around the clearing, Siray watched as the three masters drew closer to Firna. Her hands now still through an effort of will, she saw the masters all reciprocate Firna’s gesture, who then stepped back into the shadows. Siray’s eyes managed to track him for just a moment longer as he moved to join the small selection of Lalinta’s populace chosen to witness the ceremony, before her attention was drawn back to the masters once more.

  Wearing a robe of deep blue that blended and mixed with the shadows flowing in the space between the torches, the most senior of the three masters stepped forwards.

  ‘I call upon the presenting cycle class to come forth and take their first steps in determining their destiny.’

  The time-honoured words have been spoken, and Siray couldn’t help but tug on a long strand of hair again. This was it.

  She listened as the master called out the names of her class and watched as each youth before her was directed to take their place in a semicircle around a dancing pillar of flames.

  ‘Siray, Lalinta-Fyre.’

  Hearing her name, Siray walked forwards carefully and took her place in the circle, bowing her head like the others as protocol required. Like the rest of her cycle class, Siray’s last name reflected the name of her city of birth and the cycle class she had grown up with.

  Once everyone in her cycle class had been formally introduced into the semicircle, the master took up a position across from the youths on the other side of the flames. Still keeping her head bowed as appropriate, Siray watched from the corner of her eye as the master raised his arms. His palms were facing up to the night sky, and his robe rippled slightly in the breeze. Between the master and the youths spread out before him, tiny sparks danced away from the flames and up into the night, flickering before being tossed by the gentle wind and going dark.

  The deep voice of the master carried easily across the clearing. ‘On this night and at this moment, you will cease being what you are, and will take the first step to becoming who you were meant to be by transforming into your chosen animal form.’

  The drum that had continued to sound in the background became louder, its beat resonating across the hilltop until it seemed to Siray that each one had come to live within her chest. She felt the throbbing in her bones, the sound flowing through her in waves.

  The voice of the master floated through the still night air, its silky quality encouraging her to focus upon it. Other quieter voices seemed to join the night, blocking out anything else but the words of the master and the beats of that lone drum. The voices pulled at something deep within her, even as she stood perfectly still.

  ‘See the flames before you. Feel the shift of the fire’s heart and follow the path of the sparks as they separate from the flame and rise up to meet the night.’

  Obediently, Siray raised her head and eyes to gaze into that centre of light and heat. She watched the flames twist and turn themselves around each other, jostling for a position from which to leap up into the air. One particularly bright tongue of flame made a marvellous leap for the darkness above, and she found herself following its progress upwards as it transformed into a small point of light and continued to rise. Around her, the voices continued to grow in strength, rising and falling in time with the beat of the drum.

  Her body seemed to be pulsing in time with both, while her eyes remained on the lone spark dancing far above.

  ‘Let your minds be at ease and think only of the light flaring from the fire into the night.’

  Her face now upturned to the blackness overhead, the distant points of light that sprinkled the night sky above her blurred, and a numbness spread through the length of her body. Within her, the pulsing grew faster and faster, racing against the drumbeat, the singing voices around her building like a storm. And although her body was numb, the sky and the ground beneath her seemed to tremble in response to the intensity of the sounds circling her. Adventurous sparks from the fire appeared above her, their bright brands a mockery of the distantly blurred stars as they twirled and danced through the air, changing partners before they were extinguished. She watched as one glowing spark continued upwards, resisting the pull of the breeze. As the spark rose into the clouds, obscuring it from view, part of Siray’s mind kept rising with it.

  On the other side of the fire, the master spread his arms out to his sides, palms flat and fingers spread, as if to hold the air between him and the heavens. The drum beat faster still, and the voices continued chanting and building, the tension in the clearing growing to something that was almost tangible.

  The master let this carry on for several moments more until he let his arms fall to his sides in one quick movement, silence falling across the hill like a heavy blanket. The master’s voice dropped to almost a whisper.

  ‘Let the Change occur.’

  ***

  Siray was floating in the sky. She could see the swirl of the stars that made up the galaxies around her and watched as planets drifted and orbits changed, a beautiful harmony of movement. She felt as if she understood the placement of everything in the universe—where it had been and where it was going, and she marvelled at all the lives she must be watching from this great distance.

  Slowly, she shifted her gaze back to her own galaxy and world, and then downwards to Kaslon’s ground. Without conscious thought, she looked for the familiar shape of her own city and was drawn to an extraordinary sight.

  On top of a large hill, she could see a blazing fire reaching up to her, its flames tall and spirited but contained within its own circle. She could see a group of youths positioned before that fire and was fascinated by how their figures twitched and bent as something seemed to consume them.

  Still floating, Siray looked at each youth, and she began to realise that they were
familiar to her. As she floated in for a closer look, gliding past each one, something made her hesitate before one figure in particular. A female.

  Long red hair reached down the length of this female’s torso, but even if she could have seen Siray, her pale face and light-blue eyes were turned upwards, gazing at the sky.

  Siray felt oddly drawn to the female before her and reached out with an arm as she floated there, intending to touch her hand to the female’s.

  Yet she was distracted from doing so by the amazing transformations taking place in other bodies close by, and her spectral form responded to her curiosity, turning away from the female before her so she could view the other youths. Some were Changing slowly, phasing smoothly into new forms, while others looked normal one moment before they exploded into new bodies in fits and starts the next. Some became animals of flight, causing feathers to float about and membranes to extend as they flapped their new wings. Some became climbers and diggers, claws of varying lengths pushing through new skin. Two of the youths took on the rare forms of water animals, and Siray watched as this occurrence caused several people in blue robes to move forwards swiftly to tend to them.

  As the Change took complete hold of each youth, they seemed to be overcome by a stunned silence as they became aware of their new selves and breathed their first breaths in those bodies. Indeed, many of the youths appeared to be in shock, unable to move even if they had been ordered to do so.

  Siray’s floating form drifted upwards above the heads of those below, and she gazed down in interest as the movement of everyone but one female in the clearing directly below her. She managed the equivalent of a shiver in her spectral form as she regarded the blue eyes staring up through her into the sky.

  She averted her eyes from this unsettling sight and saw an older male in deep-blue robes moving his eyes across each newly Changed youth. Then those eyes came to rest on the female below her, and quiet whispers began to reach her ears as others in blue robes fidgeted.

  Floating above them all, Siray turned her eyes back to the older male, who was carefully observing the writhing female. His expression didn’t alter as the whispers continued around him, and Siray had the impression of a great patience born from cycles of experience.

  Changed as they were and slowly overcoming their shock, the other youths stayed quiet in their new forms, the varied bodies and heads turning towards the body of the female below her. As she continued to look at all the beings in the clearing, she saw the same male in blue robes turn his gaze upwards.

  To look directly at her.

  He raised a palm flat out to her, then lowered it so that it he was pointing at the body below her. Siray frowned at him, not understanding his meaning or even fathoming how it was he could see her. Almost as if he were offering it to her. But when she looked down at the body that was now trembling violently and the blue eyes that still looked past her unaware, a wave of recognition flooded her.

  The body was hers.

  Something began pulling on her mind with urgency now. Out of reflex, she began resisting this unknown and invisible force, but it rapidly managed to overpower her, and, with a sudden jolt, she was pulled away from her position floating above the top of that hill and down towards the ground.

  Everything went black.

  Siray didn’t realise she was back in her own body until she understood that the weird sensation she could feel was the trembling of her own muscles.

  Then she felt pain begin to burn through her as if she were being devoured on the inside by fire. Her muscles began obeying new laws as they moved in strange directions and increased in size and bulk, new tissue racing through her body as the fire burned itself out, fibres pulling themselves tightly together as her body’s composition was rearranged.

  Her bones increased and decreased in size, grew stronger, denser. She knew her hair had grown longer as she felt the prickly feeling of it extend even further down her back before taking root all over. Her body seemed to surge one final time before the shuddering and twisting faded away, and she felt the hair prickle once more.

  Gasping, Siray straightened and blinked her eyes open.

  My new eyes, she thought as she looked around her.

  The Change master who had directed the ceremony was looking at her in surprise and shock, and Siray’s heartbeat became more rapid as a thrill went through her. She must have Changed into something truly spectacular to be receiving that look.

  Excited, she looked down at her body, ready to see the result of her Change, and her mind went numb with shock as she realised what she was.

  I’m still me.

  CHAPTER TWO

  ‘NOW, SIRAY, there’s no need to worry. Late Changes can occur, and once your does, then you’ll be off into your second life like the rest of your friends.’

  Siray sat on one of the form seats in the Change master’s discussion room, Firna and the Change master seated across from her. She knew the seat she was perched on was designed to help her relax, yet she felt anything but, and tried to keep from furiously twisting her hands in her lap. ‘Has this ever happened before?’ she asked the master.

  The master exchanged a quick glance with Firna before replying. ‘There has been only one case before in our city. But it has occurred in other cities.’

  Siray’s shoulders curled inwards while her stomach sank further within her. ‘So, what happened to me is rare then.’ She swallowed. ‘How long did it take for the others to Change?’

  The master pressed his lips together. ‘In one case, it was a week. In the other cases …’ The master trailed off.

  Siray stared at him. ‘What? What happened in the other cases?’ Siray knew her tone was bordering on rude, but she couldn’t help it. What if she was stuck like this forever?

  The master waved one hand around. ‘Nothing for you to worry about, Siray. You’ll be fine, I promise.’

  Siray frowned at this response. She’d be fine. Other people had already said that.

  Following her inability to Change last night, she had been hustled away down the hill by an assistant into the tent the youths had waited in prior to the ceremony.

  After quickly saying, ‘Ah, just wait here—you’ll be fine,’ the assistant had spun and rushed back up the hill, as if Siray might have a disease he could catch. She had sat in the tent and listened as her friends, in their new forms, had been guided to the path that would lead them all to the wilds of Kaslon. Then the ceremony had concluded. Without her. She wondered if Trelar had seen her failure, and she hoped she hadn’t, yet even if she had, the event would only occupy a very small part of her mind, as her new instincts and purpose would take over in her second life. She didn’t even remember what Trelar had Changed into…couldn’t remember seeing her friend’s face while she had floated in the sky.

  After the completion of the ceremony, Firna had returned to escort her back to the city dome, offering words of comfort that she had barely heard. As much as she adored Firna, he couldn’t possibly understand the shame she had felt at him having to lead her back to a place she had, just that morning, thought she would be leaving forever. Her unexpected return to the empty dormitory was even harder than the walk back to the dome itself, with every empty bed she passed on the way a reminder of her failure. Confused and exhausted, she had collapsed into a bed very hurriedly made up by the dome staff. She wasn’t sure whether to be grateful for their efforts or annoyed that word about the ceremony had travelled so fast. At least she hadn’t had to interact with anyone other than Firna that evening.

  After lying awake for spans in a room that was now strange because of its emptiness, she had woken in the morning to an unnatural silence. The dormitory where she and her cycle class had slept each night had never been quiet at that time of the morning.

  Worse was the walk she had had to make by Firna’s side to the master’s study after she was dressed.

  As they had passed through the city, other citizens had parted around them, keeping their distance and flowin
g by on either side. The prickly feeling caused by people staring at her as she passed, and at her back afterwards, and the knowledge that her failure was already so well known, had made her face burn and made her want to hide. The worst part had been when she had walked by another cycle class. Although the class’s cycle guide had politely directed them away from her and Firna, she had still heard the whispering and seen the looks they gave her.

  She looked to Firna, who had been her mentor for so long. ‘What do I do now?’

  Firna turned to the Change master, inviting him to respond with a gesture of his palm.

  ‘First, we’ll organise some tests to ensure that you are healthy,’ the master said with a reassuring smile. ‘Then we’ll find a place to accommodate you while we investigate if anything is slowing the Change process.’

  Of course, Siray thought. A new cycle class would soon occupy the space she had returned to last night.

  The master stood up and held out his hand, palm up to Siray, who placed her own over the top. ‘Don’t worry, Siray—we’ll figure this out.’

  She nodded back at him, her chest tightening even as she gave the master a small, forced smile.

  ***

  Siray spent the entirety of the next day at the research centre, moving between various rooms as she was prodded, scanned, questioned, and made to do physical tests. She tried to be as cooperative as possible, although she rapidly grew frustrated at the endless queries and demands that were made of her. Had she been feeling unwell at all lately? Had she noticed anything unusual about her physical or mental health? Could she run another thousand paces for them? Would she kindly stop fidgeting while they did another scan?

  She lost track of how many of the research staff interviewed her, but she stopped feeling like a person at least halfway through the day, growing more annoyed as the day progressed, whispers circulating after her as she was moved from each testing station to the next. To them, she was something to be studied, an unknown quantity. A freak, she thought to herself. She bared the stares and whispers by pretending she didn’t see or hear any of them, but her nails left little half-moon indents in the palms of her hands as the afternoon came on, and it seemed to her that the research staff was no closer to figuring out what was wrong with her. At some point in the early evening, it appeared that they had finally finished examining her. Or else the Change master had told them to conclude the tets for the day. She couldn’t be sure which, as she was led to his study, tired, sore, and hungry.