Change of Chaos

by Jacinta Jade

  The master’s last word carried a weight that Siray had not yet heard from any of the trainers, and she nodded quickly to show her acceptance of this condition.

  Seemingly satisfied with the group’s response, Honvil clapped his hands twice, making Siray and the others jump. ‘So, let’s see who you all are underneath, then.’

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  HONVIL HAD the trainees stand up and arrange themselves before him in a semicircle.

  Siray found herself standing between Jorgi and Tamot, who had been seated closest to her, while across from her on the other arm of the semicircle was Deson, who stood between Rowp and Loce, with Kovi forming the centre point of the arrangement.

  As she waited for the next part of the lesson to begin, the increased heat and the barest of shadows told Siray that the sun was at its highest point in the day. Amazingly, the earlier session where they had been lying down had taken up a whole span of the sun’s journey, and yet, at the time, it had seemed to her that she had been lying there for just moments.

  She moved her eyes to Honvil, who was turning back from a brief conversation he had been having with the other trainers while the trainees had assumed their new positions.

  ‘What I’m going to ask you to do in a moment is to return your minds to that relaxed awareness you attained earlier. When you do this, I want you to allow nothing to interfere with your concentration.’ Honvil’s voice was firm, his expression solemn. ‘Do not let the sounds of your fellow trainees intrude upon your focus. Do not let the sounds of your trainers speaking or moving interrupt your thoughts, unless you are spoken to directly by them or myself. Above all’—and here Honvil paused for a moment as he peered around at them all to make sure he had their undivided attention—‘do exactly as I tell you, at all times.’

  The master folded his arms, cupping his elbows in his hands, becoming more authoritative.

  ‘I will give you simple instructions. You will not question them or analyse them. You will simply follow them. Anything you do not understand can be explained later. Does anyone not understand this?’

  Siray kept her eyes on Honvil and remained silent.

  ‘Alright,’ said the master, apparently satisfied. ‘First instruction. Turn around where you stand and face outwards so that you cannot see anyone else in the semicircle.’

  Siray did as the master instructed and turned on the spot so that she faced the other end of the glade. Looking straight ahead, she made small adjustments to her position until she couldn’t see Jorgi or Tamot at all from the corners of her eyes.

  When all sounds of movement had ceased, the next instruction came.

  ‘Take a deep breath in and hold it. Breath in still further, hold it … and then release the breath slowly.’

  Siray let the air she was holding sigh out of her, her shoulders relaxing as the air left her lungs.

  ‘Keep breathing deeply as you listen to me,’ instructed Honvil, ‘with your eyes open and focused on a point before you.’ A pause. ‘Now, turn your thoughts inwards. Return to your awareness of your inner self.

  Siray stared ahead of her, seeing the glade, but not seeing it, as other images drifted through her mind.

  ‘Let your mind explore itself. Recall times in your life that have been significant to you. Times of joy, times of fear, times of anger. Use these strong memories and, holding on to the feelings that arise from them, draw them together within yourself.’

  Even while part of her was listening, Siray’s mind was flashing through recent memories. Her happy upbringing, so suddenly shattered through torture at the hands of a mysterious enemy. Her mind centred on this and whirled through the memories, faster and faster. She remembered the cell, the dark, the loneliness, the fear. She remembered the torture, her terror, her anger. Then the defiance … and the hope.

  Her hands trembled a little as these feelings rushed through her, and her heart seemed to beat sporadically within her.

  ‘Follow the path those emotions lead you down,’ intoned Honvil. ‘Feel a hardening in the centre of your mind, a place that is stronger and deeper than the rest of you. That is the place that contains all of who you are, a place that has been built and shaped by your own nature and experiences.’

  Siray could indeed feel that place in her mind, a place of shifting shadows of thoughts and images, but also a place of sharp clarity.

  Honvil’s voice, calm and strong, continued to guide them. ‘Now, in your mind, step back from these memories but take that centre with you. Hold on to it.’

  Siray pulled back from that shadowy place, picturing herself leaving it behind, but kept a tight grip on the feelings that had arisen within her. She could still feel all the emotions, but now it was like holding something that writhed in the palm of her hand.

  ‘Keep breathing and keep your focus on that centre that you now hold,’ encouraged Honvil.

  As Siray mentally held on to that centre of herself, its form shifted, losing the last of the shadow that had clung to it. And the longer she held it, the more familiar it seemed to her.

  ‘Explore this centre. Test its depth, its texture, its shape. Learn it.’

  Siray barely saw the glade in front of her now, so focused was she on trying to understand what it was she had discovered within herself. In her mind, Siray viewed this newly found centre of herself.

  At first she thought it seemed like a hard ball. But as she looked closer, she saw that it wasn’t smooth at all but seemed formed of interlinked chains. Her mind’s eye peered closer, touching one of them. This mental touch seemed set her mind burning with a cold fire, but she was not harmed by it.

  If anything, the fire seemed familiar to her. Made her feel sharper.

  Honvil’s voice now came from a far-off place, but its echoes could not be ignored. ‘Pull this centre to the front of your mind and focus on it. Let go of any remaining awareness of your physical body.’

  Siray focused her mental gaze on this cold knot of power within her, and specifically on that one chain that she had explored and now knew. As she kept focusing, her vision blurred for a moment, and her body wobbled, yet concentrating as she was, she didn’t consciously notice either of these things, continuing to breathe steadily as she retained her hold on that knot.

  ‘When I tell you, I want you to take a deep breath and turn to face inwards again. As you face me, I want you to breathe all the way out. And remember,’ warned the master, ‘do not lose your focus on your centre.’ A pause. ‘Turn.’

  Honvil’s command compelled her, and Siray obeyed it, maintaining her focus almost to the absence of taking anything else in bar his voice as she pivoted on the spot.

  Or tried to.

  When she moved her feet, she found that she was clumsy and that she had somehow ended up crouching. She had only half turned to face into the semicircle when she saw the others.

  The familiar faces of her friends were gone. Instead, an array of creatures stood in their places.

  Stunned, Siray whipped her head to her left. Jorgi had vanished, and in his place was a six-limbed, shaggy hopul. Her eyes widened as she took in her friend’s large but light-coloured frame, her gaze drawn to the patches of bony armour that were interspersed with the fur on his forearms, shoulders, chest, and torso.

  Blinking in amazement, Siray dragged her gaze away from the creature and looked to her right, her eyes meeting with an alarmed-looking yeibon—a horned steed with a ridged back, which was pawing the ground nervously.

  Siray’s pulse quickened, and she gasped for breath as she tried to take in what it was she was seeing. Yet, as she did, a trembling snarl sounded, and she froze once again.

  Slowly, she dropped her gaze to look down.

  A broad, silver-black chest and two strong legs greeted her eyes. Jaw dropping open, Siray twisted her head and, in doing so, found she could turn it quite easily to look over her shoulder. More silver-black fur covered her back, rear legs, and her … tail.

  Okay, she thought numbly. I have a tail.


  ‘Trainees.’

  The voice of Honvil sounded in Siray’s ears, and she rotated back slowly to look at him. His voice seemed to have layers of depth to it now, and she could hear his even breaths as he scanned the group before him.

  Watching him, Siray’s new eyes could pick up every detail about him. She could see the slight wrinkle around the outer edge of his eyes that was the tiniest hint that he was pleased, and there was also a subtle note to his scent that told her he had also been surprised by something.

  All these thoughts broke upon her mind like waves, one after the other.

  While part of her, the animal part, must have instinctively understood everything speaking to her through her senses, for Siray, it was too many messages coming too fast for her to sort through, and it quickly began building into a headache.

  She felt her heart rate increase, and the world about her spun brightly as she tried to adjust by looking around for some kind of mental anchor.

  She found one.

  When she glanced a second time at Honvil’s face, she saw that he was calm. Relaxed. The whirlwind of her mind slowed. Then stilled. Calmer, Siray realised she could still feel a cold burning at the edges of her mind. Her centre. The familiar burn steadied her even more, and, drawing a deep breath into her new lungs, she held it for a moment before letting it go.

  Honvil looked at each of them in turn, holding them for an instant with his eyes. ‘Relax where you are, but do not lose your focus on your centre. Keep it at the edge of your conscious mind, not focusing on it completely or letting it escape your hold.’

  The master spread his hands out wide, an inviting gesture.

  ‘Sit, stand, lay, or do whatever feels most comfortable in your new form while you continue to listen carefully.’

  The thought of purposely moving this new body around felt odd to Siray, like knowing you had to move a limb after it had gone all prickly from remaining too long in one position.

  Siray considered for a moment before deciding she would lay down. She still had not shifted completely around, so she did so now, carefully moving her back legs into place behind her. Then, she slowly sank her back legs down, and walked her front legs out before her, so that she finished resting on her elbows.

  Or what she now thought might be her elbows.

  Lying down now as she was, Siray did feel more relaxed. Her position meant that she faced towards Honvil once more, and also …

  Siray’s head lifted, and she unconsciously held her breath for a moment as she saw the form across from her. She blinked twice, just to be sure of what she was seeing.

  It had to be him … second from the right, directly across from her. Yes, it was him.

  Sleek, powerful, and silver black, Deson was almost her mirror image in the same pose. Their eyes met.

  Siray?

  The thought materialised faintly in her mind, and a soft growl of surprise escaped her as she stiffened. It was like hearing someone say her name very softly from close by, but a quick turn of her head to either side told her that both Tamot and Jorgi were, like her, still in their animal forms, neither looking at her.

  She turned back to look across the semicircle.

  Deson?

  Her new eyes had no trouble picking up on the slight stiffening of the black-and-silver body across from hers, and her realization that he had somehow heard her made the hairs around her own lower neck and shoulders stand up in waves. She could also clearly see Deson’s eyes, far larger now in his feline form, widen in surprise.

  What was going on?

  ‘So now we see you all in your second forms.’

  Honvil’s voice broke into Siray’s thoughts, and she forced her eyes away from Deson. She needed to refocus.

  ‘And it appears that we have a real mix. A quison, a gedoni, a cripwof, a hopul, a yeibon … and two sevonixes.’

  Honvil pointed to Loce, Rowp, Kovi, Jorgi, and Tamot before letting his hands fold together and looking between both Deson and Siray.

  ‘Your second form reflects a number of things. It is a direct representation of your strengths, your will, your nature, and your values. For example, Kovi’s Change has resulted in him taking the form of a cripwof—an animal known for its ability to take down prey, range great distances, and form strong bonds. The yeibon, meanwhile, is a creature of great energy and passion, and its speed is a great defence.’

  Honvil beheld them all silently for a moment. ‘We know that these are your chosen second forms, as they are the forms that your minds most readily went to upon being guided to Change.’

  Honvil’s voice was calm, and his eyes took each of them in.

  ‘Only when you are at ease with yourself can you consciously access your centre and successfully Change. When you do, you will Change with an easiness and speed that will be as simple as if you were passing an object from one hand to the other.’

  Even with Siray and the others in their Changed forms, Honvil must have seen some signs of disbelief, as he smiled indulgently at them.

  ‘Hopefully, with further guidance, you will experience this for yourselves.’

  He moved back a couple of steps.

  ‘But now, going back to my expression of passing an object from hand to hand, I also want you to think on this. From a collection of items, you will instinctively pick up the object that most interests you, as it inherently represents part of yourself. Thus, if you were to pass this object to another hand, what is to stop you from picking up another object of similar interest? Or, in some cases, an object of identified usefulness?’

  Honvil gestured with his hands, almost as if he were juggling.

  ‘Given the talents that are appearing in your generation, I suspect that at least one of you will be able to pick up a third form, although this takes a great deal of focus when Changing. Like your second form, your third form may be one you instinctively take on, or it may be a form you choose to learn, based on a need.’

  Siray found herself tilting her head slightly at those words, a behaviour she immediately wondered at. She straightened and refocused her attention again.

  Honvil briefly looked up at the sky, where the sun had moved into the afternoon shift, before looking back down and extending his hands flat to the trainees. ‘I want you to stay exactly as you are now while I guide you back through the Change. Tomorrow, we will work more with this form, allowing you to get a better feel for these alternate bodies, but for the remainder of the afternoon, I want to continue to instil in you the theory behind Changing. And allow you the opportunity to ask the questions I can see brewing in your minds.’

  Honvil clasped his hands again in front of him. ‘Now, close your eyes and listen to my voice …’

  ***

  Soon, Siray found herself returned to her normal or ‘first’ form, kneeling on the ground bent forwards on her elbows. Now back in her own body, without the bombardment of details through heightened senses, she could feel more relaxed. And proud.

  She raised herself up off the ground and grinned. She had Changed!

  She looked to her left, sharing her grin with Jorgi, who also looked ecstatic. And then, just for a moment, even though Jorgi’s eyes were blue, even though he had red hair, Siray was reminded of Baindan. Her body seemed to shrink in a little, her enthusiasm dampened.

  It was at times like this that she wished that some of her people’s laws could be bent just slightly, to allow for communication over distances outside of the cities. She wanted to hear the excitement in Baindan’s voice when he heard what she had done—what she had become.

  ‘Now—ask your questions.’

  Honvil’s voice brought Siray back to the moment, and she pushed thoughts of Baindan and celebration to the back of her mind. That could come later.

  The trainees eagerly obliged Honvil’s invitation, and Tamot, unsurprisingly, was first to put a question to the master, raising his hands eagerly with his palms facing up and outwards.

  Honvil extended one hand.

 
Tamot asked, ‘Does it mean anything in particular if your second form is a carnivore or herbivore?’

  Siray rolled her eyes. Typical, competitive Tamot.

  Honvil shook his head. ‘Not at all. As I mentioned earlier, your second form reflects your natural character and your strengths. Not all herbivores are placid either. Your own second form for instance, the yeibon, is a wild and furious creature, and many animals in our world would hesitate to approach it when it is in the storm of its passion.’

  Tamot sat up straighter, seemingly pleased with this answer. He opened his mouth to ask another question, but Honvil delicately extended a hand towards Kovi instead.

  ‘You mentioned that it was possible that some of us might have the ability to Change into, or learn to Change into, another form,’ said Kovi. ‘How is that possible?’ He lowered his hands.

  ‘A third form can be picked up in a way similar to the second. Your mind could identify with a creature and instinctively adopt its pattern, but the connection must be strong and your strengths well aligned. This is rare, as this is how your second form is selected, and it is unlikely that your mind would match you so well to a third form. If you have the ability to adopt multiple forms, it is far more likely that you would acquire the knowledge of another form through the careful study of one that might be of value to you.’

  Siray considered this statement for a moment, then she raised her hands.

  Upon Honvil extending a hand towards her, she lowered hers.

  ‘When you say, “of value”, do you mean a form that could help us fight?’

  Honvil nodded at her. ‘Unfortunately, yes. Ideally, I would prefer to see this emerging talent used by your generation to learn more about our world. Imagine,’ he said, ‘being able to explore both the forests of our world as one animal, and then discover the depths of our oceans as another.’

  Honvil smiled sadly. ‘But then we do not live in an ideal world. So, if any of you were to possess this ability, then your selection of another form might be based around what tactical advantage it could offer.’