Set the Night on Fire

by Jennifer Bernard

  He took a long stride closer so he loomed over her, eyes gleaming. “If you really want to see me bossy, come to bed with me.” His face lowered, his mouth hovered over hers, and she swayed toward him, her body drawn to his like a flower to the sun.

  “Hey!” Suzanne whispered from the door. “Nothing naughty in the McGraw kitchen.”

  Josh’s head popped up behind hers. “Not even with whipped cream? Spoilsport.”

  Suzanne shoved her elbow back into his ribs. “Do you ever stop?”

  “Only one way to find out.”

  Evie made a face at both of them and ducked under Sean’s arm. Just before vanishing out the doorway, she looked back and met his eyes.

  Tonight, Sean mouthed.

  She nodded. Tonight. It was time.

  16

  Sean drove Josh back to the base, with Josh pestering him the entire time.

  “Let’s go hit the bars, man. Let off some steam. Evie’s just one girl, the town’s full of them. I got a list of the best drinking spots from Suzanne. There’s only two, so that keeps it simple.”

  “Count me out. You go ahead. Take one of the rigs.”

  “What’s up your butt? You haven’t gone out once since we got here.”

  Even though Sean didn’t drink much anymore, he usually went out with the crew just for the company. But tonight, he was anxious to get back to Evie. “I spent enough time in those bars with my fake ID back in the day. I don’t want the town seeing me that way.”

  Josh threw his head back and laughed. “You’re old before your time, bro. Take one step inside the city limits of Jupiter Point and you turn into an old lady. They’ll have you teaching Sunday school soon.”

  That actually got under Sean’s skin a little. Was his desire for Evie changing him? Never before had he felt so protective of a girl. Protective of her feelings. He’d lived by the mottos “enjoy yourself to the fullest,” and “if it’s not working out, move on.” But none of that kind of thinking seemed to apply when it came to Evie.

  Sean pulled up at the entrance of the base and gestured for Josh to get out. “I’m…uh, going back out.”

  Josh swung his long legs out of the car and smirked. “Say hi to Evie. Again. Better hope the Dean doesn’t catch on that you have your eye on his little girl.”

  “She’s twenty-seven years old.”

  “Also, if you see Suzanne, tell her I’m all alone out here. Sad, lonely, horny, whatever you come up with.”

  “Forget about Suzanne. She’s practically engaged.”

  “You know me. I like lost causes. And challenges.”

  With a last salute, Josh jogged toward the barracks. Sean swung the wheel and headed back into town. Luckily, Evie had told him to pick her up at her place instead of her parents’. Being back in that house had made him twitchy. Its familiar suffocating atmosphere—always quiet, always orderly and serene—made him want to scream. He remembered how it had felt back then, when his entire world had just been knocked out from under him.

  Life with the McGraws had felt like a lie.

  As if the McGraws were lying to themselves about what the real world was like. Reality wasn’t nice and peaceful and caring. Fuck no. It was chaotic and terrible.

  Evie was waiting on her front stoop, her backpack next to her. Her arms were wrapped around her shins and she was gazing up at the starry night sky. He’d barely pulled up to the curb when she jumped up and ran to the passenger side.

  “Let’s go to the Point,” she said breathlessly. “I can see Mars and Jupiter from here on my porch. It should be amazing from there.”

  Riiiight. The local obsession with stargazing? He put his truck in gear and headed in the direction of the high promontory locals called the Point. “What is it about this town? Haven’t you guys figured out that watching a good movie is a lot more fun than watching the stars?”

  “We have movies here. The movie theater added two screens, did you hear? Who says we can’t change with the times?” She tossed him a saucy look. “I heard we’re even getting a new shipload of firemen. That’s a lot of testosterone for a tiny little town like ours.”

  “You have no idea,” he muttered. “I’ve been trying to pick some of the less good-looking guys, but it hasn’t worked out that way.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “This is a peaceful place. Are you sure you’re ready for twenty-plus rough-and-rowdy, adrenaline-junkie hotshots?”

  “As a matter of fact, we’ve been wondering about a calendar. Good promotion for the town, all proceeds could go to the pet shelter—”

  “Hell no.” He’d been approached about posing for calendars before, but had always refused flat-out. Firemen were supposed to put out fires, not take their shirts off for the camera. Josh, of course, felt the opposite. He’d already posed for three calendars, representing March, August, and December. He claimed to be aiming for the whole twelve-month cycle.

  “Oh come on. Since you’re the superintendent, we could put you on the cover. I’d buy that in a flash.”

  “I’ll give you a private pose. Anytime you want.”

  “Honestly, Sean, I never would have guessed you’d be so shy. Do you have something to hide?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough.” He grinned at her shiver of anticipation. As he drove, he kept treating himself to little sidelong glances at her. She’d changed since dinner, and now wore a short, fuzzy sweater that skimmed the waistband of her loose cotton skirt. Her hair was twisted in a careless knot at the back of her head, revealing the elegant curve of her neck. He wanted to drop kisses all along that soft, exposed skin.

  He stepped on the accelerator and hugged the curves that switchbacked up the hill. It had guardrails all the way up, but the only illumination came from the reflectors embedded in the road. No streetlights were allowed here since they were so close to the Observatory.

  Evie directed him to a spot he’d never been before, a pullout past the turnoff for the Observatory. Even though there were enough parking spaces for four vehicles, they had the place to themselves.

  Sean shouldered Evie’s backpack and followed her down the barest trace of a footpath until they reached a flat piece of ground covered with fragrant creeping thyme. The bulk of the hill was at their backs and the ocean stretched before them like a vast secret world. Up above, starlight rained down from countless vibrant points.

  It was breathtaking—literally. “Wow,” he finally said.

  “Oh, I don’t know. I think we can still catch the last showing of Jackass 8.”

  “Touché.” He gave her a little salute as he swung the backpack to the ground.

  She crouched down and pulled out a soft fleece blanket. He caught one edge to help her, since the wind wanted to play with it too, and they spread it on the ground. Evie pinned one corner with her backpack and Sean took off his boots to do the same with the opposite side.

  He stood with his hands on his hips, taking big lungfuls of the ocean-cooled breeze. Pure exhilaration. Almost as good as the rush of beating back a fire.

  “I brought fortifications,” Evie announced as she pulled a flask from the backpack. “Hot chocolate with a kick. It’s mostly for me, but you’re welcome to share it.”

  “Fortifications? That sounds like you’re getting ready for war.”

  “I’m in a war, haven’t you noticed? Brad and his supporters want to take me down. The coalition’s meeting this week. I wouldn’t be surprised if they voted me out.”

  He settled onto the blanket and stretched out, arms interlaced behind his head. The stars were so incredibly bright and alive, vibrating like tiny, busy chatterboxes. “What’s the worst that could happen? You get voted out, then what?”

  She settled cross-legged next to him and unscrewed the cap of the flask. “I go back to minding my own business. Gallery, photography, same old, same old. Brad gets his endorsement. Brad wins a seat in Sacramento. Jupiter Point becomes known as the home of State Representative White. It’s just a stepping stone f
or him. He wants to go to Washington, probably within a few years. We watch in amazement as the hometown hero becomes famous nationwide.”

  “But what about you?”

  “What about me? I told you. Gallery. Photography. My mother will need more care. Those are the things that matter most, right? Brad can go ahead and reach for the stars, and I’ll—” She broke off, pressing her lips together. “I’ll be right here.”

  He reached a lazy arm toward her and rubbed her back as she tipped the flask to her mouth. “Maybe here isn’t so bad.”

  “Here is great. It’s wonderful. It’s so beautiful it makes me want to cry.”

  “Then are you fine with losing your position?”

  She was quiet for a long moment. “I should be. It’s not as if it’s a lifelong dream. I ran because…I don’t know, I wanted to try something new. And the business owners are a pain in the ass sometimes. Everyone has an opinion, they get into feuds over the silliest things. But when I think of stepping down, or getting voted out, I get…” She tipped the flask to her mouth again. “I get kind of angry.”

  “Kind of angry?”

  “Yeah. Kind of.” She looked almost alarmed at that admission. He wanted to laugh but stopped himself. The hot, heady realm of anger was so familiar to him, like a childhood sandbox. To her, apparently, it was a whole new world.

  “Come on, Evie. Let it out, girl. You can do better than that.”

  “I can?”

  “Hey, there’s no one here except for me and the stars. And Jupiter.” He gestured toward the bright planet shining down on them. “Jupiter won’t mind if you let out a few curse words.”

  “I don’t curse.”

  “Maybe that’s your problem right there. Try it. A little one.”

  “Like…crap?” She practically whispered it.

  “Well, that barely qualifies, honestly. Crap is one of those words you say when you don’t want to say something worse. How about “screw Brad.” How does that feel?”

  “Screw Brad,” she repeated, as if she was testing the words in her mouth. “Screw Brad for trying to shut me up.”

  “There you go.” He gave her an encouraging pat on the knee.

  “Screw Brad for manipulating me. Screw Brad for trampling over my life so he can get what he wants.” She gained steam, breathing hard.

  “Say it like it is, Evie.”

  “Screw him for even thinking about going out with a fourteen-year-old!”

  “Amen.”

  She waved the flask in the air. “Why did my parents even allow that? Why? Screw him for fooling everyone.”

  “He’s such a fucking asshole.”

  “Hey, I’m the one doing the swearing here.”

  “Sorry,” he said immediately. “My bad.”

  “Screw him for making me feel like, like…” She seemed to teeter on the edge of something big, something almost too much to say out loud. He held his tongue while she took another swallow from her flask. Then it came out in a tumble of nearly indistinguishable words. “Like some kind of disgusting, embarrassing nympho slut whose parents would disown her if they had any idea what she was really like.”

  “What?” Sean sat up in shock.

  She buried her head in her hands, except that she still held the flask and it bonked against her forehead.

  Gently he took it from her fingers and screwed the top back on. “What are you talking about?”

  “He…God, this is so embarrassing.” With her fingers, she wiped tears away from the corners of her eyes. “I can’t believe I’m telling you. Seriously, I think the only reason I am is that you don’t live here anymore.”

  For some reason, that comment made his heart kick. “You know I won’t say anything.”

  “I know. You didn’t say anything when it happened, even though you had to spend a night in jail. So I guess I can trust you, huh?”

  He shrugged. “Actions speak louder than words.”

  She let out a long breath of air, then lay down on the blanket on her back and stared up at the night sky. “I can’t look at you while I tell this story. Nothing personal.”

  “Got it. No offense taken.”

  “You know how I was raised. You’ve seen my family, you lived in our house. Sunday school. Duty. Responsibility. I was taught about abstinence. I was taught that you should wait until you really loved someone. Not necessarily for marriage, my family isn’t that strict. But I remember lots of lectures about being cautious around boys. The girl had to put on the brakes because boys wouldn’t. They would take things as far as you’d let them. I knew all that. Intellectually, I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. But they left one thing out. One really big thing.”

  “What was that?” He took her hand in his and felt her cling to it.

  “No one ever told me how good it would feel. I thought I loved Brad. When he touched me, I forgot everything about how I was supposed to behave. Even if it was just my arm, like this.”

  She picked up his hand and drew her finger along the inside of his forearm. “Just something like that would put me into a trance. I loved it when he touched me.”

  Sean fought hard to put a lid on his jealous reaction. This had nothing to do with him, this was Evie’s story.

  “It only happened a few times because I was still in middle school. We weren’t ‘dating.’ But sometimes I would see him after school or he would come over with his father and we’d sneak into the garage or something.”

  “So what happened the night I saw you guys?”

  “That night…Brad had recently gotten his own car. His family had come over for dinner and we ran out of ice cream. Brad volunteered to drive to the store and pick some up, and the Dean let me go with him. Instead, we drove halfway down the block, out of sight, and he was all over me all of a sudden. It scared me at first, because he seemed so different. Sort of mean and pushing me around. When he saw I was kind of freaked out, he calmed down. Then he started doing the stuff he knew I liked. And I relaxed too, enough so I enjoyed it. He put his hand down my pants, and then I started to resist because I knew that wasn’t a good idea. I kind of struggled a little, but he kept saying it was going to be okay and he wouldn’t cross the line. That I should trust him because I’d known him forever.”

  Evie’s hand was gripping his so tightly that he knew he’d have marks the next day.

  “Then he touched my…well, clitoris. And it felt so good I couldn’t believe it. I’d never even touched myself there. And—I came. He said that meant that he should be able to come too, and started undoing his pants. I said ’no,’ I didn’t want to have sex, he’d promised we wouldn’t do that. He said, What are you, a cocktease? Fine, then give me a blow job. You should do something for me, you little nympho slut. That’s what he said, and I was so shocked I started crying. He pushed me down and put his penis against my mouth, and the whole time he was saying the same kinds of things, that I was a slut because I’d let him touch me, and a nymphomaniac because I’d orgasmed, and that my parents would be so disappointed in me if they knew, and that if I didn’t do what he wanted, he was going to tell his friends all about me and everyone in town would know what I really was.”

  17

  Sean wrapped his arms around her to calm her violent shaking. He gave her time to catch her breath, then asked gently, “Is that when I showed up?”

  “Yes. As soon as you knocked on the window, he pulled away. Then you opened the door and dragged him out and…I guess you know the rest.”

  From the way she refused to meet his eyes, he knew how embarrassed she was. He knew he had to choose his words carefully—not his forte. Punching Brad again would be so much easier. “Evie, if a young girl came to you and told you that story, what would you tell her? That it was her fault? That an orgasm makes her a nymphomaniac? That she shouldn’t have trusted a friend of the family? I’m just curious, because I know what I’d tell her.”

  “What?” she whispered.

  “That she got conned by a fucking asshole.�
� Out came his anger, fiery and swift. “He said whatever it took so you wouldn’t tell. He intended to rape you. It doesn’t matter how many times he got you off. He still didn’t have the right to make you give him a blow job if you didn’t want to.”

  “Yes but…” She shook her head fiercely, clamping down on her bottom lip with her teeth. “That means I was being a cocktease. I know he told his friends something like that, because I used to hear that word if I walked past the gym when they were shooting hoops.”

  “Which makes him double the asshole. You were fourteen. I remember you then. You were a kid, Evie. I liked girls—a lot—but I never once thought of you as a girl I would shag.”

  She sat upright, then shifted onto her knees. “You’re saying I’m not shag-worthy?”

  “You’re very shag-worthy. Now. He had no business messing around with you, and I bet he did it because he knew he could shame and manipulate you. You never told anyone, right?”

  “I kind of told Aunt Desiree, but not everything. She told me I was better off forgetting it ever happened.” She shook her head, her silvery eyes catching light from the stars. “I was so afraid of what he’d say about me. It was safer just to avoid boys altogether. Also, it was my word against his.”

  Damn, he’d never thought about that. By leaving, he’d deprived her of her only witness.

  “That’s not your fault,” she said quickly. “I begged you not to say anything. I don’t blame you. And honestly, I was glad you were gone. I was so embarrassed, and I just wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened. That’s what Desiree said to do, and I tried.”

  He rolled onto his side and propped his head on one hand. “And how’d that work out for you?”

  “Not too bad, until you showed up.” She laughed and gave him a little push. “And until I got elected president of the coalition just in time for Brad to run for political office.”

  “Yeah?” He picked up her hand and bounced it against his palm. “Let me ask you this. How many orgasms have you had—with a man—since then?”