Igniting the Wild Sparks

by Alexander, Ren

“I miss him. I need to talk to Finn. I won’t go home with him, though. So, I need you to help me out then. Okay?”

  He eyes me dubiously before heavily sighing and groaning loudly. “Fine! Let’s at least throw the ball around a little before you go over there. He is busy being our coach at the moment. He’ll probably try to talk to you first anyway.”

  Noticing that everyone is gone, Rod grabs my elbow and leads me to the field where everyone else is already practicing. I look to see Finn talking to Ricky by home plate. Although I can’t see his face, I have a feeling their conversation isn’t about softball from the expression on Ricky’s face. I wish I knew what they were talking about. Cara approaches them and Finn’s body stiffens, like he didn’t want her to hear what he was talking about. That’s a good sign, I think.

  “Fucking pay attention, Hadders! You’re going to get hit in the face because you’re too busy gawking!”

  I rapidly switch my gaze back to Rod, who has the softball ready to throw. He’s right. I’m going to get my face broken.

  To both of our surprise, Rod and I successfully throw the ball without maiming each other. That’s a decent start. After a half dozen throws, I glance over and notice Finn and Ricky watching all of us with their arms crossed and their lips moving. Cara is off to the side, watching my boyfriend instead of us. I knew that’s the only reason why she agreed to coach.

  “Hadley! Pay attention!” Rod yells, jarring me from my staring.

  “Sorry!” I contritely yell back. Rod tosses the ball into his glove and paces over to me at the same time I notice Finn and Ricky walking around between the pairs, checking everyone out.

  Rod bumps into the side of my arm, glaring down at me. “You’ve got to get it together.”

  I readily nod and bow my head. “I know.”

  Sighing, he runs his gloveless hand through his hair, making it stand up in bedraggled clumps. “We can go grab some beers and dinner after. Invite Wilder if you want. I know I’ll be a third wheel, but at least you’ll have a chaperone, and maybe Wilder will pay for my food.”

  “You just want to go on a date with him,” I tease.

  Before he can tell me to fuck off, we’re interrupted. “I don’t see a ball in the air,” Ricky declares as he walks over. Rod and I watch him observing us. “Everything okay?”

  Rod takes a step back and replies, “We were just talking strategy.”

  “Strategy? Okay. I guess I’ll buy that.” Ricky grins, yet his eyes drift around my face, as if he’s trying to tell me something or figure me out.

  I peer around Ricky and from across the field, I see Finn looking away from me at the same time. I shift my gaze to Ricky. “How’s he doing?”

  Putting his hands in his pockets, he shrugs. “Oh, you know how he is. He’s working himself up over nothing. Right?” His dark brown eyes implore me to convince him I’m not going to break his best friend’s heart.

  I clasp my hands together in front of my stomach and nod, nearly begging him to believe me in return. “Yes, Ricky. I’m not breaking up with him. I keep telling him that, but he’s not listening!” My voice unconsciously raises and I take a deep breath to calm myself. “I just need some time to myself for a couple weeks before I move in with him. That’s all.”

  “Why? That’s what I don’t get and neither does he. You two are sickeningly in love. I mean, your groping and whispering alone ruined my Easter pancakes. Why do you need to be away from him, especially now with his parents doing their thing?”

  I briefly glance down. “He knows why. I’ve told him.”

  Ricky nods and contemplatively stares at me. “I think I know what it’s really about. I haven’t said anything to him because I wanted to ask you first. Is it because he doesn’t want to get married? I thought you told him after Easter Vigil that you didn’t want to anymore?”

  I sigh and cautiously look for Finn. I see him talking to Val a distance away. Once more, his glasses are on top of his head and it looks like they’re both laughing as Val adoringly pats his arm. I love that woman.

  I glance at Rod, who has his arms crossed as he watches softballs flying around. I know better, though. He’s keeping more of an eye on me than he is on anyone else. I love him, too. It’s nearly impossible not to.

  However, my boyfriend will readily disagree to that.

  I return my attention to Ricky. “That’s my problem. I want to, but I can’t want to. I need time to finally give it up…for him. I don’t want to lose Finn because of some stupid pipe dream I can’t let go of. I need to purge it from my rationale. He told me not to give up hope, but I have to if I want to move past it. He’s too important to me. When it comes down to it, he’s all I want. He’s what I can’t live without. All the rest is just ancillary. I just have to make sure the rest of my mind comprehends that.”

  “Shit. You’d really do all of that for him?” His eyes widen and he blinks away from me.

  I nod and then wince before saying, “He’s been drinking, Ricky. I talked to him last night and he was drunk. I’m worried about him.”

  He shakes his head and adjusts his ball cap, his untamed black hair escaping its confines. “I’ll keep a closer eye on him.”

  Asking as casually as I can, but fail as I whisper, “Has he said he misses me?”

  His lips yank into a perplexed frown as he rolls his eyes. “That’s a dumb question. He doesn’t have to say it anyway. Finn’s lost without you. I can’t even make fun of him because he’s so wrapped up thinking about you.”

  I bite my lip so I don’t stupidly cry in front of Ricky and Rod. Taking a deep breath, I exhale and hoarsely whisper, “I’ll talk to him.”

  Ricky nods and regards Rod with renewed suspicion before he turns and walks back to Finn, now standing next to Cara. When he reaches them, he says something to Finn and then yells for us to come in. As we walk over to him, he explains that he’s going to pitch while everyone takes a turn at bat. He asks Cara to chase after all the balls, which I think he strangely does on purpose.

  As Rod and I stand off to the side of everyone else, Finn grabs a bat, volunteering to give us all a refresher on how to hit a ball. Standing next to home plate, he pulls his sunglasses back down and crouches, cockily swinging the bat in the air above the plate. Ricky pitches and Finn slams the ball into centerfield, forcing Cara to run after it and for me to grin. He tries a few more pitches, each hit better than the previous one. I stare at how his body twists and the way his clothes cling to him with each swing. Wow. I thought he looked hot before, but damn, I was so wrong.

  Having shown off enough, but not enough for my liking, Finn recedes away from the plate and hands his bat to Val, who giggles and warns everyone that she’ll be terrible. I smile at her daftness.

  I watch Finn walk away from the excited chattering over to a bench on the other side of the fence. He props his foot up on the bench, bolstering his arms on his leg, and vaguely stares at the field, seemingly lost in thought. How should I approach him? I don’t want to draw attention to me “flirting” with the coach.

  Deciding to not give a fuck about what everyone thinks, I slowly walk over to him. And even though his sunglasses are concealing them, I can feel his eyes on me the minute I take a step in his direction.

  As I walk closer, I notice his arms stiffen, his jaw tighten and his body subtly shifting, becoming more guarded than the Hope Diamond. What is he going to say? Will he even talk to me or will he tell me to take a hike? I don’t think I could bear that rejection.

  When I reach the bench, I take a deep breath, drawing in his cologne drifting along the wispy breeze. “Hi.” That’s all I can think of to say. I can’t really ask him how he’s doing since I already know, don’t I?

  “Hi,” he quietly repeats. My reflection in his sunglasses unnerves me and he doesn’t make a move to lift his glasses or to say anything more. I twist the material at the bottom of my shirt, feeling utterly awkward.

  “I saw you talking to Val. She’s my boss. She’s nice.”
r />   He marginally nods. “I know. You talk about her a lot. I remember her. She is nice.” Well, that’s a revelation since he only went to one of my office parties. He softly asks, “How are you feeling?” What?

  Perplexed by his question, I abruptly stop maiming my shirt. “Why are you asking me that?” Taking a step closer to him, I’m now able to see into his sunglasses. His eyes drop to my stomach.

  Oh.

  I automatically answer, “I’m fine, but maybe I should be asking you that.”

  He sharply inhales and looks away from me with a faint nod. “Right. I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t think you were going to call me back.”

  Looking over to my coworkers, I notice Shasta watching us. I really want to rip her hair out. Returning to Finn, I calmly reply, “I was waiting for you to call me back. So, you’re not apologizing for drinking, just that I caught you drunk?”

  He mutters at the ground, “I don’t need permission to drink, do I?”

  “No, but I don’t like you drinking alone, particularly when you’re upset.”

  He darkly chuckles. “Next time, I’ll make sure to call a drinking buddy. It’s not like you can join me.” He tilts his head to me and again looks at my stomach. I cross my wrists in front of me in a lame effort to hide and he again focuses his attention on the field.

  I sigh and pivot, moving closer to lean on his arm, and he instantly tenses, forcing my heart to sink further. “Finn, I’m worried about you.”

  Observing Brandon at bat, he weakly shrugs and restlessly rubs his jaw. “Why? I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not.” I stare at his profile and wonder how he’s really feeling about me.

  Brusquely, Finn drops his foot down to the ground, turning his back from the field as he crosses his arms. As I look over my shoulder, he takes a deep breath and I watch him mumble to the wooded area now before us, “What do you want me to say? It’s hard being here when you don’t want me to be.”

  I twirl around, again pressing my arm against his. “I do want you here.” I look up at his unsmiling face. “I miss you so much, Sparks.” Suddenly, he profoundly exhales and I feel his shoulders slump. “What?”

  He shakes his head. “Nothing.” Swinging his head to look at my face, his brown eyes plead with me through his sunglasses. We stare at each other, needing to say things, but even if we were alone, we wouldn’t know how. I wish he’d tell me what he really needs from me. I want to be his every desire without all the hassle I’ve been giving him.

  His tongue flicks over his lips and his eyes continue to search mine. Is he going to say something? Is he going to tell me he’s had it with me? Is he going to beg me to put on some makeup and try to look less like the trash found in a storm drain? If my possible pregnancy hasn’t already, then my ghastly appearance should scare him away from ever wanting to touch me again.

  “Hadrosaur, you’re up!” I jerk my head to see Rod striding over to me with a batting helmet. Finn blinks and stridently inhales before moving away from me to stand at the chain link running the field perimeter.

  Rod slaps the helmet on me, making me yelp. I give Finn a fleeting look, but his back is to me, determined to ignore me once more. Sighing, I diffidently approach the batter’s box and Morgan hands me a silver and black bat. Taking a few practice swings, I step up to the plate and crouch into a batting stance, the memories of playing softball years ago with Bethany come back to me in a wave. I was descent, I guess.

  Ricky pitches the ball and I violently swing, the metallic sound of the bat striking the ball astonishes me and I jump back as I watch it soar above Cara’s head. That’s right, bitch! Chase after that instead of my boyfriend!

  Having thought I’d be rustier than that, I stand shocked as my teammates whistle and cheer at my endeavor.

  “Hell, yeah, Hadders! Already team MVP!”

  My attention jumps to our coach, who has an arm draped over the fence and with what seems to be a proud grin on his face. I love that smile.

  At least I did something right for once.

  CHAPTER 2

  Since I was the last person to bat, Finn announces we’re done for the day, but not before warning us he’ll be bringing his camera crew with him for tomorrow’s practice. Great. How do I get out of that colossal mistake? Wear a ski mask? Pretend I’m sick? Leave him a note saying I went to fly a kite with those slow-ass aliens I waited to kidnap me last week? Whatever works.

  Taking off my helmet, I finger-comb my hair, trying to salvage the disastrous wreckage, but there’s no hope. It’s a total loss.

  “Quit primping and preening, Hadders. You can’t renovate that fiasco.” He laughs and I grimace crabbily. “Let’s get going. We have a stop to make.”

  Narrowing my eyes at him, I shake my head with the sour frown firmly plastered on my face. “I can’t go anywhere looking like this. Seriously, Rod.”

  He rolls his eyes and shrugs. “We’ll stop at your place and you can freshen up. I promise not to see you naked…too much.” His wicked smile that follows breaks through my crankiness and I laugh.

  “What?” Finn snaps from behind us. We whirl around to see him lift his sunglasses up, his heated eyes flying over us. Is he jealous of Rod again? Oh, Finn.

  Resuming the smile on my face, I hurriedly try to soothe him. “He was joking. I need to go somewhere, but I can’t go looking like I do.” Finn glowers at me and his gaze travels around my face, probably trying to decide which part of my appearance makes him want to laugh the most.

  Giving Finn and me some space, Rod slowly walks over to the bench and sits down, watching me like a cracked-out hawk.

  Finn’s gaze follows Rod, but when he notices me staring, he clears his throat and tentatively looks me in the eye and asks, “Where do you need to go? I’ll take you.”

  “No. I just have to run an errand and Rod said he’d go with me.”

  His jaw twitches and he transiently looks past me before eyeing me once more. “How long will you be gone?”

  “I don’t know. Why?” I’m not staying with Finn. He’d better not try to talk me into it…because I’ll definitely cave.

  His brown eyes are rashly apprehensive. “Do you want to go to 5:30 Mass with me? Have dinner afterward?” He actually wants to sit next to me in a church after my meltdown at Easter and then take me out to dinner in a public place in Richmond?

  “Really?” He slowly nods at my question; a falteringly confused look skims his face. I want to smile, but I manage not to and innocently ask, “Coach, are you asking me out on a date?”

  A small, crooked grin pulls at his lips and his weary eyes glint. “Yeah. I guess I am.”

  I easily smile, but then bite my lip to stop myself. I can’t go out with Finn. Rod is so right. It won’t stop there, not when I can’t get my mind off how his hard body deliciously twisted swinging that bat, urging me to want to finish what I had a taste of in his childhood bedroom. “Finn, I can’t.”

  He quickly amends, “Just Mass then. I’ll take you right home afterward.” His expression is guardedly anticipative and it’s breaking me.

  “Taking me home isn’t a good idea, either.”

  His eyes widen and virtually become imploring. “Becks, give me something. I need to spend some kind of time with you.” He nods his head back to the field. “This isn’t cutting it.”

  “We’re spending time apart, Finn.”

  “That wasn’t my decision. I want to be with you.”

  My resolve crashes and wanting to placate him, and myself, I concede, “I’ll go to Mass with you. I can meet you there.”

  He carefully smiles, yet his dark eyes brighten. “Okay. Call me so I can give you the address.”

  I nod. “Just church. Maybe tomorrow we can have dinner after practice.”

  “I work tomorrow night, but we can work something out.” Finn takes a step towards me, but then curtly stops with a sigh, tightly crossing his arms. “I’ll see you later then.” He gives me a lingering look before he slides his s
unglasses down and turning to head back to Ricky and Cara, where the slut is eyeing him with unveiled interest. If she thinks she’s getting into his pants, she’d better find a pillow because she’s dreaming. I’d love to put one over her face.

  Spinning around, I walk to the bench and notice Rod is practically glaring at me. He wastes no time in snapping, “What are you doing, Hadley? I thought you just wanted to say hi?”

  I tighten my ponytail and nonchalantly shrug. “It’s just an hour in church, Rod. I’m meeting him there anyway.”

  He stands, towering over me. Who doesn’t? “No. I’ll take you and drop you off. That way it’s safer.”

  I drop my hands and frown up at him. “He’s not an axe murderer.”

  “I don’t care if he’s jolly old Saint Nick holding hands and skipping with Mr. Rogers and Captain Kangaroo, singing a Spice Girls’ song!” I scrunch my face as I try to decipher that correlation. He rolls his eyes. “At least in church, you’ll have Jesus as a chaperone.”

  “You don’t have to wait around for me. I can handle it.”

  He shrugs, but I know he’s being anything but blasé right now. “It’s no big deal. Maybe I’ll check out a synagogue nearby. Pick up some chicks or something.”

  Smiling at his concern, a lightly smack his arm. “You slutty Jewish boys. Just make sure there’s room in your truck for me.”

  Shooting an eyebrow up, he cheekily leers. “You can always sit on my lap.”

  I unwillingly laugh. “Up yours, freak.” He laughs with me and as I look up, I see Shasta walking over to us.

  “Nice job batting, Hadley. Never expected that from you.” What a hag! “I can’t hit worth a damn.”

  I force a smile. “Thanks. I used to play softball as a kid. I have some surprises up my sleeve.” A huge one that would surely disappoint you.

  Feigning real interest, she asks, “Oh yeah? Which position?”

  “Shortstop.”

  She skeptically looks from me to Rod, her reddish brown hair brushing over her shoulder. “Huh. I guess we’ll find out what positions we’ll get tomorrow.” She turns back to me, her expression still doubtful. “So, I see you’ve become friends with our coach.” Ah. The true reason she’s so engrossed in my softball history.