The Worst of Me

by Lisa J. Hobman

  Once inside the warmth of the cottage again he placed the less than sober woman on his couch and dragged his hooded sweater off his body. He wrapped it around her and crouched down in front of her on the floor.

  “Now come on. Tell me what’s wrong, Cat for short.” He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ears.

  Her lip began to tremble and she closed her eyes. Tears spilled down her cheeks and she made a pained whimpering noise.

  Nick immediately jumped up to his knees and wrapped his arms around her just as she burst into body-wracking sobs. She reached out and clung to him like he was her lifeline, and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Warm tears trickled onto his skin and under the collar of his T-shirt but he didn’t care. He stroked her hair and allowed her to pour her anguish out on him.

  When she appeared to have calmed a little he pulled away and cupped her damp face in his palms. “What happened, Cat?”

  “He slept with another woman when he was in Inverness.” Suddenly there was a stark clarity to her voice and a deep sadness emanating from her very being. “He loves us both, apparently. I slapped him and told him to get out.”

  He did what? Anger bubbled up inside him and his nostrils flared. “I should think you fucking did. What the hell did the wanker go and do that for?”

  “It’s a girl he loved before but she left him for someone else and now he’s doing the same to me.” She began to sob once more and Nick enveloped her in his arms again.

  He moved to sit beside her on the couch and she cuddled into him, continuing to sob. He didn’t try to reassure her. What would be the point? Camden had crossed the line that no person who claims to love someone should ever cross. He didn’t deserve Catriona’s love anymore; that was one thing Nick knew. But it wasn’t his place to advise her what to do. If it was I’d be able to think of a thousand ways to get revenge. But in all honesty it would be pointless. It wouldn’t un-break her heart.

  Half an hour passed and he sat there just holding her until she calmed. When she fell silent he realised her breathing had changed and she had fallen asleep in his arms. As steadily as he could, he gathered her up and carefully walked to the stairs. When she didn’t wake he made his way up to the solitary bedroom of the property and laid her on the bed. He tugged off her shoes and pulled the throw blanket over her, causing her to murmur, roll over, and snuggle down, curling into a ball.

  He watched her sleep for a few moments to make sure she was okay and then he grabbed another blanket and returned downstairs. Finally his phone was fully charged so he picked it up and called the pub. When no one answered he left a message for Tam to explain what had happened and that Cat was safe with him. He hoped Tam didn’t read anything into the message but vowed to explain more when he saw him.

  After ending the call Nick tried his best to curl his long body up on the cramped space of the couch and eventually dozed off.

  ♫♫♫

  Catriona

  Cat blinked her sore eyes open and glanced around the unfamiliar surroundings. She gasped and her hands shot to cover her mouth as she realised where she was. Shit, shit, shit, shit!

  She sat—which increased the pounding in her head—and pushed off the blanket, relieved to find herself fully clothed. Her stomach roiled and the room tilted this way and that, forcing her to close her eyes again. She heard clattering coming from downstairs and carefully turned to climb off the bed, making sure to hold on to the wall as she stood and made her way downstairs.

  She found Nick at the stove stirring something around in a pan and the smell of freshly cooked bacon hit her like a stack of falling speakers. Her stomach lurched and she gagged.

  Nick swivelled around. “Oh, hey, sleepyhead. I figured a fry-up would help the hangover.”

  She had heard this said before but seeing as this was the worst she had ever experienced she doubted the capabilities of fried pig to provide a cure. Ugh ... fried pig. She gagged again and ran for the bathroom. Her stomach was empty however, and the dry heaving caused cramps and more throbbing in her head.

  Nick appeared at the door. “Shit, are you okay? Can I get you anything?”

  She retched again. “Yes ... a new head and body please.”

  He laughed. “How about a glass of water? I can manage that.”

  She nodded once but remained crouched in front of the toilet, clinging on for dear life. Nick disappeared only to reappear a few moments later with a tall glass clinking with ice. He crouched beside her and rubbed her back as she took the glass and carefully sipped at the chilled contents.

  She tilted her head slowly toward him. “Can I ask a question?”

  “Ask away.”

  “Did I come on to you last night?”

  He laughed and shook his head. “Nope. Not even a little bit. In fact you told me that me and my whole gender are bastards. And I hate to say it but I’d pretty much already figured that out.”

  She covered her face with her empty hand. “Oh God ... really?”

  “Yep. And you called me a ... and I quote ... ‘fecking randall rock star.’”

  “Randall?”

  He nodded. “Randall.”

  She giggled. “I was on top form then.”

  “Oh, you really were. I distinctly remember you telling me to fut the shuck up too.”

  “Good grief. I’m so sorry.”

  He shrugged. “Nah, no need. That particular part of your visit was quite funny.”

  Her lip began to tremble as she recalled her real reason for coming around. “He really hurt me, Nick.”

  He gave a sad smile and squeezed her shoulder. “I know.” A heavy silence descended on the room until Nick broke it. “Can I ask something now?”

  “Ask away.” She replied with his own words.

  “Why did you come to me last night and not one of your friends.”

  She placed the glass on the floor and rubbed her temples. “Because I couldn’t go to my best friend.”

  “How come?”

  “She’s Camden’s sister.”

  “Oh shit.”

  Cat heaved a long, heavy sigh. “Yes. Shit indeed.” She turned to face him again and saw pity staring back at her. “Look, I’m sorry for my behaviour last night. And I’m sorry for coming here. I was probably the last person you expected and wanted to turn up.”

  “Not at all. It’s fine. Considering the state you were in I’m kind of glad you didn’t just go roaming the streets. And I’m glad you didn’t stay home alone seeing as your dad was out.”

  She crumpled her sore brow. “How do you know he was out?”

  “I rang and left a message to let him know what had happened. I hope that’s okay. I didn’t want him to worry.”

  She smiled and nodded. “You’re a decent bloke, you know?”

  He clambered up to his feet. “Yeah, don’t go spreading that around, eh? You’ll ruin my mean bastard reputation.”

  Realising her stomach had settled she sat back on her bottom.

  Nick smiled down at her and ruffled her already dishevelled hair. “Look, why don’t you have a shower and I’ll grab you a T-shirt and some joggers or something.”

  “Thank you, Nick. For everything.”

  He didn’t reply. Instead he turned and left the room, closing the door and leaving her to her melancholy mood and throbbing head.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Nick

  Nick boiled the kettle as he heard the running water come to a stop in the bathroom down the corridor. He had placed a T-shirt and joggers outside the door and called to let Cat know, and she had opened the door a crack to pick them up prior to showering.

  He set his phone playing another track list and stared out the window as Eddie Vedder sang about “Sirens”. After around five more minutes Cat walked sheepishly into the kitchen in his clothing with her damp hair falling in curls down her chest and back. The T-shirt was white and he realised on seeing her that this was probably not the best colour. Her wet hair had soaked through the fabric and h
er braless, pert nipples were clearly visible.

  He opened his mouth to say something but the words wouldn’t come and he ended up gesturing at her breasts like a dumbstruck teenager seeing his first page three model.

  She glanced down and blushed, bringing her arms up to cross over the soaked fabric. “Bit late to be covering up, I suppose.” She cringed.

  A wide smile spread across his face. “Well, I’m not complaining. Just trying to protect your honour.”

  She began to walk toward him slowly, shyly. “I think I’m sick of having my honour protected to be honest.”

  He didn’t quite follow her meaning. “I don’t—”

  “I waited all that time. Saving myself for Camden, and look where it got me.” She came to a standstill beside him and leaned on the work surface. “I’m twenty-four years old and a virgin. My university friends spent most of my last year trying to get me laid. It’s pathetic for God’s sake. I’m like some old maid waiting to give her ‘flower’ to a special someone who never materialises.” She made inverted commas in the air as she mocked herself.

  “You did nothing wrong by waiting, Cat. It’s a rare thing these days to find someone ... someone ... ”

  “Someone who is terrified of sex?”

  Nick scrunched his brow, surprised by her admission. “You’re terrified? Why?”

  She huffed the air from her lungs and squeezed her arms tighter around herself. “Oh, I don’t know. Possibly because I would have to make myself vulnerable and I don’t do that with ease. I think I’ve always been a wee bit self-conscious too. I’m all big hair, big tits, no notion, you know? And I thought that at least if I waited for someone who loved me for me it wouldn’t matter if I was crap at it.” Her cheeks coloured pink and she looked at the floor.

  He turned to face her, placed his finger under her chin and gently tilted her head up until he connected with her verdant eyes.

  He spoke in a low, husky voice. “If it’s any consolation, no one’s an expert the first time. And I happen to think your tits are rather magnificent.” He tilted his mouth up at one side. The smile all the girls loved.

  She shoved his hand. “Oh God, shut up, will you? You shouldn’t be looking and you’re making me blush.” She lifted her hands and covered her cheeks but her smile was wide and beautiful, exposing gleaming straight teeth.

  He was thankful she’d taken his comment so lightly and hadn’t slapped him or kicked him in the nuts as he’d expected from the feisty redhead. “I made coffee. Want some?”

  She nodded and reached out for the mug he offered. “Thanks. Ugh, I’m glad I’m feeling better now, anyway. Although I think I may never drink again.”

  He laughed and almost spilled his own drink. “Oh, the number of times I’ve said those exact words. Believe me, you’ll get over it until the next time.”

  He took a tentative sip of his aromatic, earthy liquid and she gazed up at him from under her long dark lashes.

  “So ... how many women have you perfected your talent on then?”

  He was taken back a little by her forward enquiry. “I presume you mean fucking?”

  She gasped at his direct and unabashed response. “Well ... yes, I suppose I do.”

  “In all honesty, Cat, I haven’t exactly been keeping a tally.”

  “Which means lots then.”

  “No, it means I haven’t counted.”

  “Or you’ve lost count.”

  He adjusted his stance as his stomach tightened in annoyance. “Cat, why are we having this conversation? If you want to get to know me better why not ask me something relevant like ... what my favourite colour is?”

  She shrugged. “I’d have guessed black.”

  He placed his mug down on the counter top. “Okay, I think maybe a change of subject is in order, don’t you? So, what are you going to do today?”

  Unfortunately Cat was like ... well, like a cat playing with a mouse. “Don’t tell me I’ve embarrassed the womanising rocker?”

  Once again she had judged him. And okay, so she may have been partially right but it still got under his skin and prickled. “Look, Catriona, I know your opinion of me, okay? You don’t have to go on and on about it. Yes, I like sex, sue me. And yes I’ve slept around but I haven’t hurt anyone by doing that. So for the love of Mike will you just drop the fucking subject, please?”

  He turned his back on her, angry with himself for letting her get to him and pissed off that her opinion mattered so much.

  He felt a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s none of my business. It’s just that ... I’m seeing you in a different light, Nick. And ... I don’t like it.”

  He turned to face her once again. “What don’t you like? That I’m actually a normal, decent human being?”

  He watched her throat as she swallowed and she removed her hand from his arm before turning her face away. “Kind of. Because ... seeing as we’re being honest ... Camden said I had some kind of crush on you and ... I said I didn’t. I wanted to see you as an up-your-own-arse, snobby, rampant skirt chaser. But ... I don’t see that at all, more’s the pity.” She turned to face him once more and it was evident from her frown that she was conflicted about her feelings. “In fact, I see a sweet, sexy guy. A funny, misunderstood soul in a gorgeous rock star’s body.” Her eyes widened as soon as she realised her admission. “And ... well other women think you’re gorgeous and sexy, I mean. Not that I think you’re ugly. Ugh, Camden has just dumped me so can you bear in mind that my head’s all over the place and ignore what I just said? Anyway ... oh, sod it ... the more I get to know you ... the more attractive you become.”

  He gazed down at her. “Ah ... okay. And why is that such a bad thing?”

  Her eyes became glassy and she blinked causing a couple of stray tears to escape but she quickly wiped them away. “Because that would make me as bad as him.”

  Nick bit his lip for a moment and contemplated the meaning of her confession. “I don’t understand, Cat. He had sex with another woman while still engaged to you. And he told you he loves her. All you did was possibly get a bit of a crush on someone but took it no further. How the hell are they even remotely the same?”

  “I just ... I feel bad. Like I was unfaithful in my head or something.”

  He reached up and cupped her cheek in his palm, keeping his gaze locked on hers and hoping he was exuding the sincerity he intended. “Well you weren’t, okay? You didn’t act on whatever you felt. And let’s face it, it’s a moot point now. I’m guessing it’s over between you two?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh God, yes. It’s sooo over.”

  Gazing down at her in that moment he could think of nothing he wanted to do more than to take her into his arms. “Then I guess—in light of this new information I’ve gleaned from ... well, you know, reading between the lines of what you said before that it’s okay if I do this.” He stepped forward and before he could rethink his actions he slipped his hand from her cheek into her hair and his other around her waist and stooped to do the thing he had wanted to do for so long.

  He kissed her with all the pent up desire he’d been bottling inside from the moment he met her and as he moved his lips over hers she responded in kind. Her kiss spurred him on and he pulled her closer, eliciting a soft moan from her as she slipped her hands up over his chest and wrapped them around the back of his neck. Shivers swept his body and he tingled with need.

  She parted her lips and he slipped his eager tongue inside, tasting and teasing her until she gripped him tighter. His hand smoothed further down her curves until he reached her bottom, where he squeezed and pulled her into his erection, groaning at the delicious friction it caused.

  Deep down he knew he probably shouldn’t be taking advantage of her emotional state but even deeper down he had wanted to do this from the first time she opened her feisty, luscious mouth at that hotel in London. The fact that she didn't fall at his feet and that she insisted on speaking her mind regardless of the situation som
ehow made her even more attractive. She was so different. So independent and that simply pulled him in.

  Gripping her bottom with both hands now he lifted her and placed her on the kitchen counter top and slid her forward so he was standing in the gap he had created between her legs. She hooked her ankles behind him, grinding her pelvis into him, causing his breathing rate to increase and his heart to drum at his ribcage. Cat slipped her hands into his hair and tugged at the loose strands, pulling him deeper still until the sound of their ragged breaths became loud pants of pleasure and heated desire.

  Moving away from her mouth he nibbled and kissed his way down to her neck and scooped her hair aside so he could suckle the sensitive skin there. She arched her back, pressing her breasts into him and gasped, breathlessly whispering his name.

  He wanted more. He wanted to carry her to his bed and strip his clothes from her body and to gaze down at her naked curves, slip his fingers into—

  Fuck!

  He pulled away and took three quick, staggered steps backwards.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Catriona

  Her chest heaved as she pulled much needed air into her lungs and reached up to touch her lips where his had been only moments before.

  Confusion filled her mind. “What’s wrong, Nick?”

  He ran his hands back through the long chocolate brown strands of his hair and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. His chest was rising and falling rapidly just as hers was and the expansion and contraction of his taut abdomen was clearly visible through his fitted T-shirt.

  He dropped his hands down, rested them on his hips and lowered his face so his gaze met hers once more. “Shit, Cat. I’m so, so sorry. The last thing you need is me mauling you. Fuck. I’m such an idiot.” He closed his eyes and shook his head.

  She slipped down from the counter top and stepped towards him. “Why are you sorry? I wanted it too.”

  “Yes, but you’ve just been treated like shit by one loser. The last thing you need is another doing the same.”