The Worst of Me

by Lisa J. Hobman

  “Oh great. I just don’t get him, Cat. He is the one who cheated. He’s the one who ruined things. I can’t believe he expects you to just forgive him. Although ... ”

  Cat was a little disturbed by the long silent pause. “Although what?”

  A sigh travelled down the line. “I just ... I’m worried about you, honey.”

  Cat snorted in response. “Why? I’m a big girl. If he comes in again he’ll get my size five up his arse.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about you and Nick.”

  “Ah.” Cat slumped onto the couch and awaited the inevitable lecture.

  “I know what you’re like, Cat. You give one hundred percent of yourself in relationships and I’m not talking about sex. I mean your heart, your mind ... your soul. But Nick’s not like you. He’ll hurt you. He’ll bugger off back to London or wherever the hell else his band is touring and you’ll be left behind and I won’t be there to pick up the pieces.”

  Cat waited patiently for Lorna to vent her worries. “Like I said, I’m a big girl. And this thing with me and Nick ... it’s just a bit of fun. It’s just sex.” She lied.

  Lorna huffed. “But that’s just it. You don’t do just sex. You’d never even done the sex part until he came along with his long hair and sexy body. You were going to wait until you were married not so long ago. What happened so quickly to change your mind about that?”

  “Yes, it happened quickly. I admit that. And yes, he’s gorgeous. But I have no intention of getting attached to him. I just got sick of waiting for everything to be extra perfect with a damned cherry on top. Clearly waiting for ‘the one’ was a stupid fallacy after what Camden did. So I just got it over with. And to be honest, I’m glad I did. He’s amazing in bed. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”

  “Well, of course you haven’t, you tube. You were a virgin until a few days ago.”

  “Yes, and at twenty-four I think that was pretty stupid. We don’t live in the eighteen hundreds anymore, Lor. These are modern times. And I decided I wanted to be a modern woman. If you don’t like that then I’m very sorry but it’s tough. And I get that Camden is your brother and I’m sorry I appear to have rebounded. And believe it or not I understand if you have to choose between us. Blood is thicker than water and all that. But—”

  “CATRIONA! Will you stop bloody shouting at me?” Lorna’s voice startled her and she clamped her mouth shut. “I have no intentions of picking the side of that arse over my best friend. In my opinion he was never good enough for you anyway. So just stop with the melodrama. I love you. I couldn’t choose who to have as actual family but I chose you. You’re my best friend in the whole world and quite frankly you’re not getting out of this friendship that easily.”

  Cat opened and closed her mouth for a few moments, unsure of how to respond. “Oh ... kay then. That’s good. That’s ... I’m glad.”

  “Okay, so now we’ve ascertained that you’re a modern woman who’s entitled to be given amazing orgasms by hot rock stars, can we get down to the nitty gritty here?”

  What on earth? “Nitty gritty?”

  “Yes. Has he got many tattoos, does he have washboard abs and how big is his you know what?”

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Nick

  The late February chill was no match for Nick’s super warm winter coat and he happily walked along the beach with JD running ahead, the extendible lead out as far as it would go. Every so often the crazy little dog would flip a pebble up with his paws and jump around attacking it until he lost it in amongst all the others

  Nick stood for a while and let the cold sea breeze of Strath Bay whip around him as he took in the landscape that disappeared off into the distance. A little island stood out in the Atlantic and he wondered what it would be like to live there. Isolated, maybe? Peaceful, definitely. Eventually he turned to head back to the pub to drop off his excitable walking companion. As he passed the book store he paused for a few moments and browsed the window, suddenly realising he hadn’t brought any books on his little holiday. He liked to read but didn’t get much opportunity these days and so he vowed that he’d call back in and pick something up seeing as he had the time to really get stuck into a story. With books and the TV he was set on purchasing he’d have enough to keep his mind occupied when Cat was working.

  And when she wasn’t ... well ...

  He dropped JD back with Cat and grabbed a bite to eat and a pint of Gairloch Grinder but the pub was busy with some locals who were celebrating the birthday of an old guy. As he was finishing his meal one of the men from the party stood and picked an accordion from its case. He began to play the “Happy Birthday” tune and everyone in the pub stopped what they were doing to sing along.

  At that point Nick had a brainwave. A eureka moment.

  As the song ended and the accordionist carried on playing some traditional Scottish music Nick called over to Cat. “Hey, Cat. I need to speak to you about something.”

  She waved at him and finished up with her customer, handing over two pints of the local beer and then made her way to where he sat, brain cogs turning. The waves of her hair had begun to escape from the knot atop her head and she had a pink flush to her cheeks.

  Sexy.

  “Hey, Random. What can I do for you?” She winked. She knew how much he hated that nickname.

  He narrowed his eyes and curled his lip in a mock sneer. “Okay, so I was thinking.”

  She shook her head and hissed though her teeth. “No, don’t do it. You’re the pretty boy of the band. Leave the thinking to someone else.”

  He made another face at her and continued. “A live music night. Here.”

  Her brow creased. “I’m sorry, what now?”

  “We can host a music night here in the pub. In a couple of weeks’ time. Get the kids up to scratch with their music so they can perform a few songs, ask a few more local musicians and hey presto! Music night.”

  She tapped her chin in thought. “Hmm ... I actually think I like that idea. So you’re not just a pretty face after all, eh? I’ll run it past my dad but I think he’d go for it.”

  Nick nodded and grinned. “Great stuff. Brilliant. Say ... beginning of March maybe?”

  “Nick, we’re all here now.” A voice called through from the small function room at the end of the bar.

  “Ooh, speak of the little devils.” Cat laughed. “Go and see what they think of your idea.”

  Nick sat crossed legged on a chair with his guitar on his lap as the group of teens sat around him in a circle.

  Along with the rest of the kids, Callum had been listening intently to him as he had told them about his fantastic idea and he seemed equally as enthusiastic. “So, we’d be like the headlining act?”

  Jack the keyboard player snorted and chipped in, “Durr, Nick will be the headline act, you tube. He’s actually talented and famous.”

  Nick rolled his eyes as an argument broke out amongst the group. “Whoa, whoa, guys.” Silence descended. “You’re all very talented and actually I wasn’t going to perform. I was going to step back and let you guys take the lead along with some other local musicians.”

  “But ... you can’t not play,” Grace, the singer, informed him.

  But he shrugged, happy to be taking a back seat for once. “I’m just happy to give you guys somewhere to start. And I think it would do you good to be the main act. There are a couple of music festivals in the Highlands that I’m aware of where new acts are showcased and this would be good practise. Plus, you’re the only ones who know who I am, remember? If I start performing someone might realise.”

  “Like they don’t already know,” Liam, the band’s bassist, chuntered.

  Jack whacked Liam on the arm. “No, they don’t know. And you need to keep your trap shut.”

  Liam held up his hands and his eyes widened. Jack was clearly a tom-boy to be reckoned with.

  Cat excitedly burst in through the door. “It’s a go! Dad said yes! You’ve got you
r gig on March second!” She giddily clapped her hands together and jumped up and down on the spot.

  The band and Nick whooped and cheered, high fiving each other, and a sense of excitement and pride had Nick grinning like the Cheshire cat.

  “Right, you lot. We only have two weeks until Rockhill’s debut. So we’d better get cracking on with a set list. I’ll need commitment from everyone if we’re going to pull this off. What do you say?”

  The kids cheered their agreement.

  ♫♫♫

  Catriona

  Cat stood at the back of the small function room and watched as Nick tutored the group of talented teenagers, encouraging them by singing and playing along. Offering his advice on timing, key and general performance. She listened as he told them that music wasn’t about money and fame. Music was something that was inside everyone and it took a variety of things to unlock it. And that the most important thing was to enjoy playing. Once the enjoyment had gone it was time to go back to your roots. She instinctively knew this was Nick’s plan. By helping these kids to discover their talent he would be healing himself and remembering why he got into music in the first place.

  After much cajoling and insistence he agreed, albeit reluctantly, to perform one of his own hits for them.

  “Okay, okay. Crikey, if it’ll shut you up so we can crack on.” His teasing was in good humour and he laughed along with them. He began to strum the strings of the rock ballad he had chosen to play and they sat in stunned silence with huge grins on their faces at seeing their hero perform just for them.

  Cat watched in bewildered awe as he played his acoustic guitar, eyes closed and teeth clamped on his bottom lip. And in that moment she realised just how talented he really was. He played with such ease even though the chord structure and fingering were complicated. It was perfectly evident how much music meant to him. His passion oozed from every pore. And she knew first-hand how passionate a man he was. But knowing they had music, that one small but vital thing in common, made her heart ache.

  The song he had chosen was one she had only heard snippets of thanks to the wonders of online browsing but she nevertheless found herself humming along and swaying to the melody as Nick’s gravelly voice touched her heart and sent shivers down her spine.

  During the instrumental break he lifted his head and caught her watching him but the melancholy of the words filled his gaze with sadness. The song spoke of things being hopeless and lost, and although it was a song that was released a couple of years prior to them meeting, it could have been written by her to suit the very situation she found herself in.

  His fingers worked the fret board with such skill and the emotion in his voice caused her throat to tighten. But no sooner had the spell been cast than it was broken by the raucous cheers of the group of five teenagers whose lives he’d changed simply by being there.

  But they weren’t the only ones to be changed irrevocably.

  This she knew.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Nick

  Nick held out his hand toward Cat as they walked up the lane toward Rockhill Cottage and she took it. She had been a little quiet since the rehearsal and he was beginning to think she was having second thoughts about being with him. The issue with this was he was afraid to ask in case she confirmed his fears.

  He hated the silence that had fallen between them. It was heavy with unsaid words and he had to break it. “You know what I love about this place?”

  She tilted her face toward him. “What would that be?”

  He sighed. “There’s just so much ... green. I love nature. I just don’t get to see enough of it. I’m either on a plane, in an arena or on a tour bus. It’s not the same when you see scenery through the window. You don’t feel part of it, but here ... ” It was a random thing to say but then again, he was her ‘random rock star’.

  She appeared thoughtful for a moment. “I love nature too. Especially trees.”

  Great, she’s talking again. “Why trees in particular?”

  “I think they’re a kind of metaphor for life.”

  Nick narrowed his eyes. “How so?”

  “I suppose because of their tenacity. You know ... they lose their leaves every year but they gain new ones again. It’s like a continual fresh start. I like that thought.”

  He pondered her words for a moment. “Yes, I get you. They go through lots of changes, stand firm through storms ... well, most of them, anyway. And there’s the saying about turning over a new leaf too. Maybe that’s what’s happening in my life right now.” Realising he was verging on philosophical, he laughed. “Gah! Listen to me. I’ll be taking up slam poetry next.” He felt his cheeks heating.

  “Hey, you shouldn’t make fun of yourself. I was just thinking that was very apt for your current situation. I like it.” She fell silent again for a few moments. “Leaves remind me of when I was a kid. When my mum used to walk me to school and it was autumn I used to love going past one of the neighbours’ houses where he’d sweep all the leaves into a pile and I’d jump in them, listening to them crunching under my wellies.”

  “Didn’t your neighbour get a bit peed off that you undid his work?”

  “Nah. It turned out he told my mum he did it especially for me.”

  He loved hearing snippets about her childhood. And the more he got to know her the more he felt drawn ... linked even.

  Pulling her into his side, he slipped his arm around her. “So what’s the story with that great big house up the lane from mine?”

  She scrunched her brow for a moment. “Ohhh, you mean Rockhill House.”

  “Yeah, that’s the place. I discovered it on one of my walks and was a bit flabbergasted that no one had mentioned it.”

  “The old guy who lived where you live now owns it. It was part of his family for generations but he’d had a falling out with his father and so when it was left to him he refused to move in. Always said it was more of a ball and chain than a worthy inheritance. He went to live with his daughter. Poor old boy was never the same after his wife died. I think if he could find a buyer he’d just get shot of the place.”

  Nick’s interest piqued. “So no one lives there?”

  “Nah. Just the staff. He keeps them on to ensure the place is looked after but ... it’s not the kind of place your average first time buyer wants to take on.” She laughed and his heart flipped as her face lit up. She had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen and he realised she was still talking.

  He nodded his agreement. “Poor old guy. It’s a shame no one’s taken it off his hands.”

  “Aye. It’s absolutely stunning inside. It’s pretty much been left how his family had it. It’s like a time capsule. Me and dad tried to talk him into donating it to Historic Scotland but we never managed to convince him. So I guess it’ll stay unlived in and unloved for the foreseeable future.” Suddenly she pulled away from him and began to run up the stony lane toward to the cottage. She called back over her shoulder, “Last one there has to make dinner!”

  He paused his steps, placed his hands on his hips and called back, “Hey! That’s bloody cheating!” But when he realised she wasn’t going to stop he set off running after her, his unfit state dawning on him as he gasped for breath. He missed his daily gym workouts but didn’t miss the 5am alarm calls ...

  Eventually he caught her as she reached the front door and she giggled as he slipped his arms around her waist from behind. “I think I know what I want for dinner,” he whispered into her ear, and watched as a sexy pink glow spread across her neck.

  She turned in his arms and looped her hands around his neck, smiling sexily up at him. “Oh, really?”

  “Yes really,” he breathed. Reaching down he slipped his key into the lock and turned it. He lowered his face and nibbled on her lower lip. “What do you say?” he mumbled into her mouth.

  Without speaking she crushed her lips to his and tangled her hands in his hair as he pressed her up against the door frame, one hand at her bottom, the oth
er unzipping her jacket. He pulled her inside and tugged the coat from her body, dropping it on the floor before kicking the door shut. He kissed her again and revelled in her taste and the moan that left her throat. He stepped away to remove his own jacket and gazed down at her where she leaned on the closed door, watching him, eyes filled with unmistakable desire.

  “Take me to bed, Nick,” she whispered as she moved and began to back away toward the stairs. He needed no further encouragement. He wanted her desperately and the ridge his jeans wasn’t the only indication; his heart was pounding too. Nodding, he held out his hand and took hers before leading her up to his bedroom.

  Once inside the room he gripped the hem of her top and, keeping his eyes fixed on hers as long as he could, he swiped it from her body, tossing it onto the chair in the corner.

  He stepped closer and cupped her face, kissing her tenderly as her warm breath heated his skin, their lips in perfect rhythm and their tongues tasting and teasing. He pulled away and languidly smoothed his palms down her neck, over her shoulders and down to her breasts where he slipped his index fingers inside the lace and toyed with her nipples. Her eyes drifted closed and her head lolled backwards as she sighed deeply.

  His hands continued their journey across her smooth, flawless skin, meeting again at her back to unhook her bra. He let it slip down her arms and then tossed it aside. Scooping her long Titian waves over one shoulder, he bent toward her and began to trail kisses from below her ear along her collarbone, watching the goosebumps rise in the wake of his lips. He kissed lower ... lower ... lower ... until he pulled a nipple into his mouth and rolled his tongue over the tightened bud. She gasped and reached up to grip his hair but he stopped and pulled away.

  With a smile he stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed. “Undress for me. I want to look at you.”

  Even though her face flushed, she kicked off her boots, unfastened her jeans and slipped them down over her hips, shimmying them down her shapely legs and removed them, along with her socks. Next, her thumbs hooked the waist of her panties and they followed the same journey, leaving her naked before him.