The Worst of Me

by Lisa J. Hobman

  And in that moment Nick made a terrifying discovery.

  He was falling fast.

  Chapter Thirty

  Catriona

  Shocked out of her little oblivious bubble by the rapturous applause, Cat snapped her eyes open. The cheers and whistles were almost deafening and she stood on jelly legs to take a bow. How the hell Nick could do this on a regular basis without having a nervous breakdown she really didn’t know.

  But then he did almost have a nervous breakdown ... so this does explain a lot.

  She stepped down from the stage and was immediately scooped up into the arms of her father who kissed her head and cheeks. “Bless you, Cat. You’ve done me proud. So much talent. You must get that from your mum.” His lip began to tremble and his green eyes became glassy. “She would have been so very proud of you, hen, I hope you know that. You were wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.”

  Tears welled in Cat’s eyes as she gazed up at her dad. “Thank you, Pop. That means so much to me. I’m so glad you liked it.”

  “I loved it, and it was one of your mum’s favourite songs. I remember the last time you played that for her ... ”

  She smiled in spite of the sadness tugging at her heart. “I know.”

  Tam glanced over her shoulder. “I think someone is wanting to see you.” He nodded behind her and she turned.

  Before she could speak Nick’s hands were in her hair and his mouth took hers in a kiss filled with so much passion she could hardly breathe. The hairs of his beard tickled at her skin, sending shivers of delight down her spine. She slipped her hands up his arms and around his neck as the crowd of onlookers applauded.

  Pulling away, he cupped her face. “You were absolutely incredible, Cat. I couldn’t believe it. I think that was the best surprise I’ve ever had in my entire life. Just to hear you ... and watch you play ... it was ... I just ... God, I love you.” His eyes widened when the words left his lips as if he hadn’t meant to say them.

  Catriona gaped, her heart hammering at her ribcage and her stomach in knots. She expected at any second he would admit his mistake. Apologise and take it back. Make some excuse.

  But instead he kissed her again and held her tight before whispering in her ear. “Sorry to drop that bombshell on you after what you’ve just gone through but ... well, you went through it for me so you should know how I feel about you. And ... now you do. And I don’t care about the long distance bullshit, Cat. I want to be with you, whenever and wherever it’s possible. I’m determined to make this work. What do you say?”

  Her heart skipped and she pulled him down so she could kiss him again, trying her best to keep it tame considering the number of people surrounding them. She couldn’t quite believe what he’d just said and she wanted the world to know it. She’d never felt this way before and the fact that he would leave soon didn’t matter at that precise moment. The fact that things had happened so quickly didn’t matter. The fact that he was a famous rock star didn’t even enter her head. All that mattered was that he said he loved her. And he meant it.

  Once the kiss had ended she pulled away to face him, eye to eye, and took a deep shaking breath. “I love you too, Nick. And I agree with everything you said.” His responding grin and hug told her all she needed to know.

  Tam announced the young lad and his trumpet next. He’d waited patiently for his turn in the spotlight and Nick held Cat to his side as they watched and clapped along. Once he had finished and the crowd had cheered and congratulated him it was time to announce the headline act of the night.

  Taking his position in the centre of the stage one final time, Tam addressed the crowd. “Now, folks, I don’t know about you but I think tonight has been amazing.” Cheers and whoops of agreement rippled around the packed room. “But now we have our final act of the evening. A group of very talented kids from our local high school. They’ve been meeting here a few times a week but I’ll have you know this has only been going on a short time which is surprising when you hear them. You won’t believe how fantastic they sound. Ladies and gentlemen ... Rockhill!”

  The boys and girls walked onto the stage and Cat watched Nick in her peripheral vision as he beamed with pride and applauded, hands high above his head. She was so proud of what he’d achieved with them. And just as her dad had informed the crowd, she was shocked at how quickly they had improved. They looked and sounded like a real band. Their timing was perfect, their talent astounding.

  A silence fell over the room as Grace picked up the microphone. “Like Cat did earlier, we also want to thank ... erm ... Randall for all his help. He’s been amazing! This one’s for you, Randy!”

  Nick pursed his lips and turned his narrow-eyed attention to Cat who shrugged innocently before bursting into fits of laughter. Okay, so the kids had asked her what they should call him when they talked about him on stage and she may have helped them ... just a little.

  She’d known that keeping his cover wasn’t going to last much longer. It had been amazing to know they had kept it for over a month considering the whispers going around the village’s younger people. There had been lots of talk about how much he looked like “that guy from that band”. But she was happy to try and keep his secret a little while longer, even if the silly name she had called him when she was plastered did get under his skin.

  He bent toward her so his mouth hovered over her ear. “It’s a good job I love you, Cat for short. But I may have to punish you later.” His breath on her ear made her quiver and the muscles below her waistline clenched with need.

  Meeting his gaze once more, she pursed her lips and tried to hide her mounting excitement as her cheeks heated by what felt like a hundred degrees.

  Rockhill really wowed the crowd. Their rendition of Stevie Nicks’ “Edge of Seventeen” was sheer brilliance and the whole room exploded in applause once again at the end of the song. The experience of witnessing the band grow and develop so quickly under Nick’s tutelage had been an education for Cat as well as the kids. She’d learned that rock music was actually quite melodic and the lyrics—whilst often written for fun—could also hold deep meaning. Grace’s voice was incredible and Jack’s accompanying backing vocals were just right. The perfect combination. The professionalism of the newly formed group was worthy of a stage at any rock concert and all the hard work Nick had put in with the band shone through.

  The buzz continued as the band played “Crushcrushcrush” by Paramore and Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”. They ended the show with “I Love Rock and Rock” by the unforgettable Joan Jett which had every single person’s hands in the air, clapping as they sang along. Although Cat didn’t consider herself a “rock chick” by any means she danced along with everyone else and loved every second of it.

  Cuddled into Nick’s side, Cat was sure she was in some kind of parallel universe. Things like this didn’t happen to her. She gazed up at the man she had confessed her true feelings for and almost pinched herself when he turned to face her and pulled her into his arms once again.

  Suddenly a bright white flash startled her and she snapped open her eyes and turned to her right to find a man pointing a huge fancy camera lens in their faces whilst another thrust a digital recorder at them.

  “Hi, Mr Dacre. Dave Longhirst, Daily Sun. I’m so sorry we’re late. I know you said to be here at seven but we got a bit lost. Long bloody drive to get to the arse end of nowhere from London, I can tell you. Worth it though, eh?” The man nodded at the stage. “I see what you mean about them. We caught the back end of the performance, and wow! You’ve done a sterling job with those kids! I reckon this will be a massive plus for you with the fans just like you said, and it will put sleepy little Gairloch slap bang in the middle of the map, no doubt. Anyway, where do you want us to do the interview? Perhaps we could get some shots of you with the girlfriend? Although not too many as you know how possessive the fans can be. Oh, and the camera crew will be along tomorrow to film you with the band as agreed. Welcome to the big time, R
ockhill, eh?”

  Cat stood there open-mouthed as she listened to the journalist reel off verbatim the conversation he’d clearly had over the phone with Nick. Her stomach plummeted to her boots as if on the downward journey on the world’s largest roller-coaster. She turned and glared up at Nick—the man she had put her trust in—as her whole world came crashing down around her feet.

  Her lip trembled and her eyes stung as tears of the betrayal that was squeezing at her heart threatened to fall. “Nick, you promised ... ”

  Nick stood there wide-eyed and silent, apparently searching for the words to explain what the hell he had done after everything he'd said.

  Chapter Thirty One

  Catriona

  She pushed Nick away and shoved through the crowds of people, leaving him to call after her. How could he do this? How could he lie like this? She had trusted him. She had challenged him face to face about his reasons for being here and for helping those kids. But he had blatantly lied to her. And then she had jumped into bed with him.

  Stupid, stupid, Cat. How could you be so naive? How could you think he actually had feelings for you? It was just a publicity stunt. And you and he were no jigsaw. You were just a pawn in his sick, sadistic, publicity hungry game play.

  The crowds were still hanging around, making the most of Tam’s extended license for the night, and Cat was relieved to be alone. She slammed the door to her home behind her and collapsed in a heap on the floor. Tears spilled and her body wracked with sobs. She was so angry.

  Angry at herself for believing his lies.

  Angry with him for making her love him.

  Angry at the whole damn world.

  She wanted none of this. Interviews and photographs in the paper were her worst nightmare and Nick knew this. And he had promised her he would protect the village and the kids.

  The lying bastard.

  Fists hammered at the door. “Cat! Cat, please let me in. I need to talk to you! Please, Cat. I love you. Don’t do this.” Nick sounded desperate and his voice broke as he pleaded with her.

  Shit, he was a damned good actor. “Leave me alone! I don’t ever want to see you again,” she sobbed. “I trusted you and you lied to me.”

  “Cat, please let me in. You've got this whole thing wrong. Just let me in. Please, I’m begging you.” His emotion-filled voice tugged at her heartstrings but she had to be strong.

  “Why, Nick? Am I about to ruin your plan to show the world how you took pity on our poor little unknown village? Am I supposed to stand out there and give hope to the millions of nobodys just like me that they too can bag a rock star if they only spread their legs?” she spat her venomous words at the solid barricade of the door, thankful he couldn’t see the state she was in.

  “Deep down you know it’s not like that. If you think about it you know that’s bullshit, Cat. You’ve been looking for an excuse for us not to work and now you’re creating one. You said yourself I'm a decent bloke. Would a decent bloke put you ... those kids through this? Please, think this through. Don’t do this to us.”

  Hearing him refer to them that way smashed her fragile heart to pieces. “There is no us. How can I trust you now? How can I ever believe anything you say? You don’t love me, Nick. You never did. I was just a plaything to keep you entertained while you drummed up some brownie points with the press after your breakdown. I was a distraction technique just like those poor bloody kids. You used us.” She bent over into a ball as the physical pain of his betrayal knotted her up inside and her stomach roiled.

  “You’re ripping out my heart right now, Cat. If I mean anything to you, you’ll open this door and we’ll talk.”

  A heavy silence descended until she plucked up the ability to speak once more. “I’m sorry, Nick, but you mean nothing to me now. You may as well just go.”

  Through the door she heard a pained sob and loud crash made her flinch as Nick shouted, “Fuck!” He had punched the wall or a door and the urge to check he was okay almost drove her to go out there but just as she reached for the handle she heard Lorna’s concerned voice.

  “Nick, just leave, okay? You’ve broken her heart. She won’t forgive you. Please just go.”

  “But, Lorna, I—”

  “Just go, Nick.”

  A few silent moments passed and there was a light tapping on the door. “It’s me, babe. He’s gone. Can you let me in?”

  With weak legs Cat clambered to her feet and turned the key in the lock. She tentatively opened the door and collapsed into the arms of her best friend.

  ♫♫♫

  Grief was a strange emotion.

  The last time she had suffered such pain had been when her mum had lost her battle with cancer. And then she had been sort of prepared that it was going to happen. This time, however, it felt like being hit by a ten ton truck. Okay so it wasn't completely unexpected. She'd heard and read things about Nick Dacre that had set alarm bells ringing in her mind long before any feelings for the man surfaced. But he had seemed so sincere when he had promised her that his reasons for helping the kids had been genuine and from his heart. She'd trusted him when he'd said that he would protect the village and the people who lived there. And she'd loved him for his desire to keep the press at bay so Gairloch could remain as peaceful and beautiful as it always had been.

  Except it had all been a lie.

  He had made her feel beautiful in spite of her insecurities. He'd worshipped the curves she had considered unsightly. He had seemed to love the way she blurted out her truths regardless of whether she was right or wrong. That had made him special in her eyes. No man had ever made her feel good about herself and her gawkiness, her wild red hair and ability to put her foot in her mouth so quickly. No man had ever listened to her enough to realise that the things she connected with her mother were so very sacred.

  However, the leaf earrings he had given her after she had told him the story about her walks to school would forever remain in their box, tucked away out of sight like her feelings. It was excruciatingly painful to think he had conned her and the kids who had looked up to him.

  Betrayal was something she had suffered twice now at the hands of men. First Camden and his other woman and now Nick and his publicity hungry desires. Nick had wanted to talk to her after the press had turned up. Ha! No doubt to try and convince her that his plan was in the best interests of the whole village. Well, she emphatically disagreed with that and didn't want to hear his bullshit anymore. He had known her feelings right from the start. Hell, it had almost been the reason he had been forced out of the place but he had twisted her mind into believing him. That was something she felt she couldn’t come back from.

  Why was she so gullible? What made men so sure they could treat her like shit? Lie to her and then expect her to just get over it? At least Cam had been honest about his feelings for Sorcha eventually. He'd loved them both and love made you do stupid things; that much she could accept. And Camden had only caused her pain in the process. Nick, on the other hand, had dragged others into his shit storm. Kids’ hopes and dreams had been used in his fame game and that was something she couldn't handle. Not that she would be forgiving Cam any time soon. But Nick ... Hell would have to freeze over before she could ever consider forgiveness after what he had done. Everything she had based her trust on was lies.

  Two days had passed and she had rejected countless calls and deleted many unread text messages from him. She didn’t want to hear his pathetic explanations. More lies, no doubt. She didn’t want to hear him try to reason with her about his choice to contact the press and invite them to her home. All she wanted to do was forget she ever met him and move on.

  Torturing herself, she played over and over in her mind every single second they had spent together. The times they had made love and the times they had just held each other. Their crazy conversations and the way he made her laugh. His terrible attempts at a Scottish accent and his ridiculous attempts at rapping. But the one thing that hurt more than anything was th
at he had said he loved her. Why would a person do such a cruel thing? She truly would never be able to understand that. Maybe it was done to somehow soften the blow for what was coming when the photographer arrived? Well, whatever the reason, he had failed. It turned out all the things about him in the press had been true after all.

  He was a master manipulator.

  An imposter.

  A liar.

  But even though deep down she knew that her heart was beyond repair, the feelings she had for him had been genuine. And getting over him would be the hardest thing she would ever have to do. She had seen the very worst of the man who had stolen her heart, and was disgusted at the depths to which he had stooped in order to recover his place in the spotlight.

  Lorna had been amazing, but that’s what best friends were for. She had stayed for a few days after the fateful night to be with Cat. They had walked along the beach with JD, and Cat had cried so much she could’ve filled Strath Bay five times over with her tears. And Lorna had listened to Cat talk for hours about how Nick had made her feel, only to stomp on her heart with his stupid cowboy boots.

  Sitting in the living room alone, she had resorted to putting the radio on to distract her from her bittersweet thoughts, but when “Stay” by Black Stone Cherry drifted across the airwaves she had lurched for the off switch and began to sob all over again. What were the chances?

  There was a knock on the door. “Cat, please can you answer the door. Please. I need to speak to you.” The voice sounded odd and strained and Cat couldn’t quite make out why.

  She wiped the damp trails from her cheeks and went to the door. Once she unlocked and opened it she was greeted by the sad eyes of a devastated-looking young man.

  “Hey, Liam. What’s up?”

  Liam chewed on his lip and seemed to be plucking up the courage to speak. “It’s N-Nick. The cottage is empty ... he’s gone.” His voice broke and his eyes were glassy.