Ruin

by N. M. Martinez

  Next to a cracked clay vase, I find a small stack of books. I pick one up and flip through the yellowing pages, bound with darkly discolored glue that stains the edges of the spine and a tiny bit of the fabric cover. A book is a perfectly good way to keep myself entertained, though I don't know how much free time I'll really have with Henri. It's possible that he'll give me a list of things to do, or he'll have some job already picked out for me to go to during the day that only a human can fill. Some menial job that needs to get done, but not by someone important and necessary.

  Maria looks at the book in my hands. "Aw man. I wish I could read."

  "You can't?" It's a thought that hadn't occurred to me. Why would she read? It won't help her fight better or defend their home any better. The time she would spend reading could be better spent learning to fight and staying in shape.

  "No. I always wanted to read though. Mike said if he could read he'd show me, but he can't really either."

  "Maybe I can teach you?"

  She smiles and looks our age for once instead of a miniature adult. "Would you really?"

  "If I can. I don't know what Hen--"

  Maria throws her arms around my neck suddenly. She's an inch shorter than me and much skinnier, but she's heavier than she looks. We almost fall to the ground with her unexpected move as she lets out a squeal that's very unlike her from what little I know of her.

  "Say no more. Even if you can't, just that you'd offer is enough."

  She pulls back and lets me free just as the proprietress steps up with her semi-creepy smile. "This book here is a great book for teaching, if you don't mind my saying so." She lifts the books to grab one of myths and stories closer to the bottom of the stack which she then hands to me. Her bright eyes search my face for a moment before she flat out asks me, "So whose pet are you? I don't think I've seen you around here before."

  The proprietress stands just a little bit in front of Maria, and so it's over her shoulder that I catch Maria's flicker of annoyance. It annoys me too that this woman would assume I'm someone's pet, and I want to tell her so, but I don't. I wait for Maria to say something, remembering her warning earlier. Maria smiles instead, her eyes looking past me. "There he is."

  The proprietress and I turn just as Brandon enters the shop. He hesitates only for a second when he notices all our eyes on him before he continues in, walking as smoothly as his brother had last night when he walked from the shadows. There's an edge to his smile as he turns it on the proprietress.

  She stiffens next to me and then takes a few steps back from us as he walks up, stopping just by my shoulder. The same smile is still one her lips, but I get the sense that instead of using it as a weapon, now she is using it as a defense.

  "I was just showing them some of my books. They seemed interested."

  I turn slightly to look up at Brandon. It's clear that the way he has let me see him is different from the way others see him. I would find it impossible to believe that he'd ever be cruel, but still the proprietress is cautious and I have to wonder how much of that is him and how much of that is the effect of his brother. Maybe that's what Maria had meant when she said it was "complicated." Maybe that's why he didn't tell me. At least I hope. Because the last thing I want is for Brandon to be the sort of man a human like me would normally fear.

  "Figures I find the two of you here." Brandon looks from me to Maria before he sees the books and looks back at me. "Did you want some? You can pick a couple out. Vic owes me, right Vic?"

  The proprietress agrees with a nod of her head. "Yes. That is true."

  For the first time I see the two possibilities. Either the face value or the hidden threat, and it sends a chill down my spine that I refuse to react to. I hand over the first book I'd been looking at and put the other book down. Brandon takes the book then picks out a couple of toiletries that look handmade-- soap in a bag, a toothbrush in sealed paper, and a hair brush.

  "I think I've got everything you'll need, right?"

  He doesn't mention the trip to Henri's, so I don't either. I just nod. These were all things I was borrowing from him for the past week except for the toothbrush. I'd just been using my finger all week.

  Brandon shows the items to her and she gives another nod though she doesn't take it down. The items go into a small bag that he hands over to me to carry and then we make our way out.

  As we walk out into the busy street, Brandon asks Maria if she told Vic about my relation to him.

  "Of course I didn't. Though she almost slipped and told Vic herself." Maria glares at me, halfway in jest, but mostly serious. "After I said not to."

  I shrug, "But haven't you already told some people?"

  Both Brandon and Maria look at me, but she's the one who answers. She leans in and speaks low in my ear. "Only people that he trusts. Last thing we need is anyone broadcasting that Brandon has a weakness."

  That gives me a jolt, but Maria hardly seems to notice it, and if Brandon can read my thoughts, he doesn't say a word about it. He just keeps looking straight ahead, leading us through the crowd.

  Twelve

  Brandon is the one to suggest it. “You have to see the Edge of the World. I'm sure you've never seen anything like it.”

  Just the mention of it makes me nervous, but I can only nod and follow him. Maria parts from us to head back towards the bar, and for a second I almost wish she wouldn't. I don't want her to leave me alone with Brandon. It's a thought I disperse right away like smoke. He doesn't need to hear it. Not when he is trying his best to connect with me, sharing the information he thinks I need to know, all the while still trying to protect me. I can't be an easy person for him to be around either.

  We walk through town together. From the older more solid looking buildings in the center to the smaller houses that look as if they were put together with just stone and wood. The difference between the buildings in town and the buildings on the edge of town is huge and for a moment, I think that's what he wants me to see, but we keep going, through an open field of long grass and toward a thick copse of trees.

  Brandon smiles as I glance behind us surprised at the clear line between the forest and the flat grass land. The line is so clear that it can't be natural.

  He shakes his head. “We're pretty sure they planted the trees as a barrier. C'mon, you'll see.”

  The forest is so thick we have to pick our way through the closely grown trees and overgrown bush. There is a worn path, small and mostly covered in long blades of wild grass and branches from lower plants. We have to walk carefully, one person following the other, and since this is a path he's walked before, Brandon is in the lead. My fingers brush against rough bark as we make our way. Plants reach out for my feet, their thorns catching on my pant legs.

  It seems crazy to make this trek. If this was planted as a barrier, then why would anyone try to get past it?

  Brandon laughs in front of me even as he ducks a branch. “Careful. Thorns in that one. You'll see why we do this in a minute.”

  The climb through the forest does turn out to be short. Probably no more than fifteen minutes, though it feels longer. The path is hard to see unless you know what you're looking for, and it's clear Brandon has walked this path before more than once. At the very end there is an old crumbly wall that's at least ten feet tall and covered in vines and a green moss. Brandon has us squeeze alongside it and then he bends down and disappears.

  I blink a couple of times and cautiously follow him. There's a hole in the wall large enough for a person to climb through, but hidden by a large and apparently harmless bush. I crawl after Brandon mostly on my hands and knees, my eyes down watching the hard packed dirt littered with pine needles and dead leaves give way to coarse sand and dry plants.

  When I arrive on the other side of the fence, Brandon reaches a hand down and I accept it without even looking at him. A strong wind pushes me, shoving hair across my face and stinging my nose and cheeks with grains of sand as we stand on a hill made of light colored sand.<
br />
  There is water from the bottom of the hill all the way on to the horizon. It surrounds us. At the bottom of the sandy hill, large rocks piled together on the sand. Water splashes against them, foaming as it works its way up. Brandon starts towards it and I stop, frozen in place. We aren't supposed to be here.

  Brandon reaches back for me, offering his hand at first, but then laying it on my arm when I don't reach out and take it. “It'll be okay. Trust me.”

  I catch his eye and give a nod. I have to trust someone, and it may as well be Brandon even if I don't know everything there is to know about him. The two of us walk side by side down to the water.

  There was this story that all the kids used to share on the playground at school to explain why there were huge barriers between us and the water around the Neutral Territory. There were two brothers who had powers, and they couldn't stand each other. They fought so much that they destroyed the entire world except for us. Somehow they completely missed us. Now they sleep under the water. If they were ever to wake and find us, they would destroy the world all over again.

  Brandon rolls his eyes. “That story? You don't honestly believe that, do you?”

  We stop at the bottom of the sandy hill. My feet sink into the loose sand, and my mouth falls open. It surprises me that he knows that story, especially if it was just school yard tales like the adults usually insisted on. "You know that story?"

  Brandon shrugs and turns towards the water. "Yeah. Who doesn't?"

  I look at the ground and lift my feet, watching the sand fall away from my toes. "My teachers said it wasn't real. That it was just something a bunch of kids made up one year to scare the younger kids, but the story stuck around."

  He seems taken aback, his hands fall on his hips and he looks at me. "And you believed that?"

  "Well, not really. Because," I pause at the memory. "Mom told it to me too. Once when we were on a trip, and I saw the fence for the first time. She said it was an old story that people had been sharing forever, from parents to children. Something that we were meant to remember.

  "If it's a really old story like that, there must be something to it, don't you think?"

  “No.” He says it shortly, his voice dull over the ancient whisper of the water rolling towards us. He doesn't look at me as he speaks.

  Up close, the water is louder than the wind. It's like the whispering of a large group of people, soft as air and yet a solid real thing. Brandon tries to get me to touch the water, but I refuse to move any closer to the edge. He doesn't push me, and I notice that despite his dare, he doesn't stick his hand in the water either.

  We stand together watching the water move, fighting the wind that pushes us back. Talking becomes difficult as the wind picks up, so we don't bother. There is no one else here except for Brandon and me, standing side by side.

  It's sort of relaxing to stand near him in this secret place. I can trust Brandon. The realization settles deep in the pit of my stomach even as the wind howls around us. He is one person I can trust no matter what he's done. Brandon isn't cruel. He isn't one of the types that they warned me about in school.

  There's movement out of the corner of my eye and I turn at the same time that Brandon does to see someone walking down the sandy hill from the wall towards us. There's a small smile on his lips as he spots us, the only two people here. My stomach tightens and my first instinct is to find some excuse to leave.

  It's Jimmy, Brandon's brother.

  Brandon's back is to me as Jimmy walks up with a smile, sharp and dangerous, and a hand outstretched that his brother clasps. I can't help falling back a step at their familiarity and ease.

  "What're you doing here?" Brandon speaks quietly, his voice almost carried on the wind rather than cutting through it. His back is still to me. The thin shirt he wears presses against his skin and I can see the burning eyes of the skull tattooed on his back.

  "It's quiet here." Jimmy's closed lips curve up. He is a very handsome man, or he would be if I knew less about him. His skin is lightly tanned and complemented by his light brown hair kissed blond by the sun. Everything about him speaks of warmth until the effect is ruined by his eyes. Too light and too cold, they don't fit in that golden face of his. They're a shock when he looks up through his silky hair.

  Jimmy steps forward to stand beside Brandon and get a clear look at me. "Paula. Good to see you out."

  There isn't much else to do under his gaze but nod and hope he doesn't notice how uneasy he makes me. I know now that Brandon has a power and that means that Jimmy probably has one too.

  He eyes me, his hair whipping around. "You ready to head to Henri's?"

  It's a simple question, but it sends a chill through me. It was something I was trying not to think about even while being fully aware that I only have a little bit of time left with Brandon.

  Brandon turns to me, possibly catching some thought I'm not aware of sending out and for a moment, with both their eyes on me, I can see the similarities. Side by side, their relation is so apparent that I have to wonder if it wouldn't have been obvious from the start if I'd looked closer at Jimmy on that first day.

  "Sort of." I lean back heavily on my heels, sinking into the sand.

  Jimmy smirks. "You don't sound too sure."

  Brandon grimaces and turns back to his brother. "Leave her alone. It's only been a week."

  I'm grateful to Brandon standing up for me, but my face is still hot under Jimmy's scrutiny. Is this what it means to be a weakness? Brandon is sticking his neck out because he cares, but Jimmy doesn't seem like the overly sentimental type.

  "You always get too attached." Jimmy lifts his eyes to look at his brother. "This is why I didn't want her with you.

  Brandon doesn't say anything back to that. He walks towards me, puts a hand on my shoulder, and gives me a shove forward. Brandon stays the closest to Jimmy as we make our way around him.

  Jimmy turns and watches us go back up the hill. His smile drops and all that's left are those wide, light eyes watching us go. I'm struck again by how unexpectedly handsome he is. It only adds to his danger. How many strays have fallen for that face before realizing their mistake?

  Brandon glances at me suddenly with his brows knit together fiercely as if some thought of mine offended him. But he shakes it off and looks ahead of us as we make our way back up the hill.

  Jimmy's voice follows us like the wind pushing us forward. "See you tomorrow."

  Brandon is quiet as we walk back. It makes me nervous. I'm not sure what to say or what to ask. Was it only his brother's visit that disturbed him or was it something I did or thought? We have so little control over our thoughts. It's only now with Brandon that I realize just how little. Of all the thoughts I think, what could he have heard that would make him angry?

  The small bag in my hand, mostly forgotten about, makes my fingers cramp up and I have to switch hands after a few minutes.

  "Brandon, is everything okay?"

  He looks at me then looks away again. "Yeah. Fine."

  I press the fold along the top of the bag. "You're so quiet. I dunno. Something seems wrong."

  The way back is a different route. I don't recognize the buildings we walk past. It's possible that he's taking me somewhere, maybe even taking me to Henri's early just to be rid of me. I get the frightening sense that he is holding something back from me. He is the one I have chosen to trust; he is the only one so far that I can trust.

  I'm about to ask him more, to beg him to speak to me, when we turn a corner and a surprising sound reaches our ears. The laughter of children bounce off the buildings coming from a nearby park with a playground. It looks odd between these slowly decaying structures to see a playground where children play. Adults stand around watching them, talking to the children, herding them in a way.

  When we're closer, Brandon stops still at a safe enough distance that no one has seen us yet. At least the kids haven't. I catch the warning glares of some of the adults that soften when they notice Brandon
though they don't wave or even nod at him.

  Brandon clear his throat. "This is option A."

  I look up at him, but he's not looking at me. "For what?"

  He does look at me then with a soft look to his eyes that shocks me. "For you. You can be a caregiver."

  I look back at the playground and notice that there are plenty of girls watching the kids. Girls dressed in clothes similar to mine and that nervous stray we saw by the light of the fire.

  "You mean, like, watching the kids?" That would have to be a dangerous job that looks deceptively easy. These kids must be the children of members of the tribe, and those are parents I wouldn't want to piss off. "You didn't mention this before."

  Brandon leans back on the building. "I didn't want to." He sighs and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Jimmy raised me. Since I was about seven until I started my training. Every day he took me here. To this care center."

  He nods towards it and I turn to look again as if expecting there to be something different about it now that I know.

  "So all the kids come here?"

  "No. There are other centers. There's an underground bunker for all of them so the kids can be safe and parents don't have to worry. There's at least one care taker living at each center, and it's usually a girl. Parents trust human girls and woman the most. Especially when they gotta drop their kids off in the middle of the night."

  A caregiver. Is that what my future holds? That's how I'll be useful to them? The thought depresses me. Back home, I had years more to go in school before I had to make a decision on what I would do with my life.

  I don't really want to think about it. Brandon still leans against the building as he lets this possible future sink in, but I don't let it. Brandon has presented me with a tiny bit of his past, and I latch onto that now that I know what it means for him to share even that little bit of information. "Jimmy raised you?"