Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility)

by Belvin, Love

  “So, Ms. Smith, what are you prepared to offer us in terms of numbers?” I was blanketed with relief when I realized his question wasn’t for me, oddly enough I was slightly disappointed as well. For some self-depreciatory reason, I wanted an opportunity to speak again to impress him, to make him take note of and remember me. But he skipped right over me. Just then Michelle played her assigned role and laid out all the numbers starting with projected revenue.

  I watched as Azmir Jacobs and his people studied closely the financial document Michelle elaborated on. It was at that time when I abruptly recalled where I knew those eyes from.

  Azmir Jacobs’ were the pair of eyes at Cobalt last week at the dance-off! At the retention of that visual, I lost control of my breathing preceding the choking on my saliva. All eyes turned to me as I grunted to clear my throat. When I grabbed the front of my neck mechanically, I felt the moisture collected on the pads of my finger tips and palm of my right hand. He had to have recalled, too, hence his awkward gape earlier.

  I just blew this proposal and I’m going to die in the boardroom!

  I forced my eyes closed to hide the fear that attacked them.

  “Are you okay, Ms Brimm? Could I have the receptionist bring you something?” Mr. Jacobs rose in alarm from the table. Struck with panic, his tone—soft and sans the edge it carried earlier—spoke warmth and sincerity.

  “Umm…!” I attempted once again to clear my throat. “No, I’m fine…went down the wrong way!” I crowed with a rueful smile trying to downplay my embarrassing mishap.

  After a painfully extended time of reprieve, I tried to reel things back in by pleading with them to continue. From that point on the meeting ran smoothly. There were very few questions but all were answered suitably. Michelle apparently gave numbers they could live with because there were no rebuttals. The lawyer’s questions were answered by John and before I knew it Brett, the executive assistant, was closing the meeting informing we’d hear back with a final decision in a couple of weeks.

  Chapter 5

  Azmir

  The alarm went off, startled I jolted before hitting the snooze button. I’d already been up engulfed in a stream of thoughts. I eventually sat up, rubbed my eyes and reached over to turn the alarm off before it sounded again.

  “What time is it?” Lady Spin uttered while wiping sleep from her eyes.

  “Only five.”

  “Damn. You get up early. I’ll be knocked the hell out for a few hours. You mind?” she asked being courteous since we were at my place. I thought for a minute before answering. I remembered Tara was no longer an issue so she could stay as long as she wanted. If by chance Tara popped up then she got what she got. I didn’t give a fuck.

  “Do your thing,” I murmured noncommittally.

  I rose to wash and headed to the gym. For some reason I felt anxious this morning. There was something in the air—something to get excited about. I felt crazy for giving that persuasion too much thought so I put it out of my mind and went on with my day. Heading straight to the recreation center, I got my daily workout on with Tyler, my personal trainer, and hit the showers. I had a full day ahead so I moved swiftly as I suited up and checked my watch. It was seven fifty-six, which meant I was running on schedule.

  I went up to my office to retrieve messages and my schedule from the receptionist. The itinerary had been inundated with conference calls, executive staff interviews, and business proposal meetings set up until mid-evening. My workday started with a promising conference call. It was with my man, Magic, and his people along with mine discussing a hotel development project. He was impassioned with pulling young entrepreneurs, like myself, up from the bottom. He’s allowed me to invest in a movie theater with him. It was a great opportunity to expand my brand. The call started at eight fifteen a.m. and was scheduled to end at ten a.m.. I had a subsequent meeting scheduled at ten a.m. and didn’t relish back-to-back booking, but that was the kind of day it was. It was ten minutes after ten a.m. when my receptionist, Peg, came in to remind my assistant, Brett, for the second time of my ten o’clock waiting in the conference room. The problem was you don’t rush Magic. I didn’t drop any hints of needing to go, just waited my time while taking in his wise instruction.

  It was a quarter after and we’d just finished wrapping up. I asked one of my admin staff, Karen, who would be sitting in on this meeting to head to the conference room and I’d be there in a minute, I had to use the rest room. As we entered the conference room, Brett, who was an MBA-candidate intern, led the meeting. I usually recruited minorities as interns to pay it forward but couldn’t resist him after the interview. He was a promising apprentice with a keen ability to not only anticipate my needs, but he also possessed an astute frame of corporate culture with great flexibility to learn, which resonated with me from the beginning of his screening process.

  I sat down at the table and immediately reviewed the paperwork to recall the nature of this meeting while Brett kicked the meeting off. I didn’t peruse the room to see who we were meeting with until I learned what the meeting was about. When I looked up that’s when I noticed her.

  It was the Nasty Girl.

  The revelation shot through my body like a surge of electricity and I’d suddenly become disturbed by not only this meeting, but the sensations that were going through my body.

  She wasn’t wearing the heavy make-up she’d worn to mask her undeniable beauty at the club a few days ago but that beauty was clearly identifiable. I realized I was staring when she caught me. Fuck! I remembered where I was and put my tongue back in my fucking mouth. Damn. She’s a banger!

  I tried awfully hard to focus on the meeting and soon learned she was the primary on the proposal when she gracefully emerged from the table to present. As she strutted to the front of the room, I noticed the plump phatty resting on the small of her back triggering the gentle sway of her hips she maintained through the skirt she wore. She was dressed in a dark blue suit that was modest yet sexy.

  I have to admit when she got up to present, her nervousness concerned me. This dancer is going to blow it, what are the odds? I would soon learn she was a physical therapist and that my reservations were patently outrageous. She was exceptionally articulate and apparently intelligent. I was confused: was being a physical therapist her day job and she caroused the streets at night as a dancer?

  By the end of her presentation, I had an erection. Dammit! Maybe if I hadn’t seen her a few nights ago she would’ve been just an ordinary beauty in the boardroom, she definitely was an exotic beauty the other night at Cobalt but this combination deemed her rare. When she was done, I wanted to hear their financial plan. I’d already made it up in my mind that I’d lease out the space to them, demonstrating rarified haste, but it wasn’t as simple as what my johnson or my eyes wanted.

  As we were discussing hard numbers she began to choke. It came from nowhere. She even started to tear up indicating she couldn’t breathe. It was almost as if she’d seen a ghost. I asked if I could get her anything and she said, “No, I’m fine…went down the wrong way,” trying to downplay it. In a fortifying move, she asked her accountant to elaborate on current profits of the other Smith, Katz and Adam’s locations.

  Unfortunately, the meeting quickly came to an end. I have to admit, I tried to prolong it a little to be in her presence a tad bit longer. I said my farewells to the Smith, Katz & Adams staff as well as my legal people. I japed with Chad Epps, my accountant, about seeing him on the golf course the following day while heading out the door.

  After they left, I thought to myself, I have to see her again. I’ll see what information we have on her from their records. As we were walking downstairs to interview for a senior staff position I murmured to my assistant, “Brett…”

  “Yes, Mr. Jacobs, sir…”

  “See what contact information you can get on Ms. Brimm.”

  He looked at me with college frat-boy eyes and a wide devilish smile and said, “Yes, Mr. Jacobs, sir.”

 
; I smirked and gave him a wink. Hell—he’s a man.

  “And what shall I do with the information once I retrieve it, sir?”

  I patted him on the shoulder as we headed toward the elevator, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, Brett.”

  That caused us to both snicker as continued our way to the next meeting.

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  Rayna

  Hardly two weeks later after my presentation, I received the news that Jacobs approved our proposal and we began moving in right away. A week or so after, Michelle and I went to Cobalt with Britni and April from undergrad and two friends of theirs. Michelle had been dying to go for months and she finally made it happen. It felt good getting out for a night on the town with the girls. I hadn’t been out in months and lately I’d been so busy with setting up the new practice. We were due to open the following week and I was drained of signing off for supplies, salaries, insurance, construction, and other contracts. On top of preparing for the new location, I was expected to continue with my responsibilities back at the central station. I didn’t complain, instead I took advantage of the learning opportunity.

  That night I threw on skinny jeans, a sexy taupe silk camisole, and over the knee brown suede boots and paired them with a cream blazer. I left the office so late that Friday evening that I missed my hair appointment. My hair was full of loose wavy curls from my last trip to the beauty salon so I just threw it up in a trendy loose ponytail, slipped on my extra-large hoop earrings, and applied a little make up. Even if I didn’t have the benefit of time, I wanted to look the part seeing that I hadn’t been out with the girls in so long. Although they were primarily Michelle’s friends, I grew to tolerate them—and them, me—even more after that fight with Tiny and her crew back in undergrad.

  We had a V.I.P. booth that Michelle reserved, which was quite nice. The booths were gargantuan mobile float-like fixtures. They had to be reserved in advance because they were so large, that if not carefully placed on the floor, the patrons standing or dancing on the floor wouldn’t be able to see the stage. However, those seated in the booths could see the entire room. They were something I’d never seen at any club. There were only three on the floor this night and they were strategically positioned. It made you feel like royalty because everyone wanted to know who was in those grand booths. We soaked it up by ordering food and drinks and sharing in laughter.

  In between laughter and screams, Michelle bit out, “Damn! What’s taking that waiter so long?” as she looked down and around the main floor frantically searching.

  With a huff she announced, “I’m going to the bar myself.”

  She got up, trekked down the stairs of the booth onto the dance floor, and walked over to the bar. The girls continued talking, laughing, and poking fun at some of the other patrons. My phone vibrated on my hip and I checked it to see it was Richard. He didn’t call but he did text me asking if he could see me.

  How could he even dare try to see me again? He should have been inhaling my getaway fumes because I was done.

  I sucked my teeth and then suddenly heard, “Look who I ran into, Rayna…” My brain registered Michelle’s shrilling right away.

  I glanced up to see this tall, chocolate and lean man before me with broad shoulders and an arresting gaze that pinned me to the back of my seat. My pulse quickened and I felt a pull between my legs never experienced by the mere sight of a stranger. I was lost in space for a moment drinking in Mr. Azmir Jacobs. He smiled from ear to ear exposing his pearly white teeth and how sexy his smile was. I took my time insufflating the divine scent of him. I couldn’t figure out the fragrance, possibly a delicious miscellany of them. My breath caught and I immediately found myself flustered.

  “Hello, ladies,” he greeted in a masculine baritone pitch that sang melodies to my libido. He turned back to me, “It’s good to see you again, Ms. Brimm,” extending his hand.

  “Please call me Rayna. The pleasure is all mine.”

  I extended my arm as well and we shook hands very casually but I felt a surge of energy emanating from his tightened grip. My eyes were glued to him the whole time; I couldn’t redirect them even if I wanted to. There was something more relaxed about his appearance this night. Maybe it was because he had no handlers around him or because he wasn’t dressed formally in his suit. The top few buttons of his dress shirt were undone sans the tie; the after work hours look.

  “How’s the moving process coming along?” he asked and I noticed his lively eyes that were in sync with his words. If his question was disingenuous I wouldn’t have been the wiser.

  “It’s as expected. You know…with the signing away of your life and making sure every detail goes as planned. No major complaints so far. Thanks for asking.”

  “Great. Glad to have you as a neighbor. Let me know if I could be of assistance in any way. You have the number to the front desk, don’t you?”

  Before I could respond, he fished into his inner jacket pocket and produced a little white card. “As a matter of fact, here’s my business card. Call me directly should you run into any problems. My guys at city hall can crack down on the contractors if they try to give you a hard time.”

  “That’s quite generous of you. Thanks a lot, Mr. Jacobs.” My voice was calm, but the message was flirtatious knowing what his response would be.

  “You can call me Azmir, Ms. Brimm, and you’re quite welcome.” The smile had dimmed. His gaze was once again intense and I couldn’t deny the immense amount of intimidation I felt from it.

  “That’s Rayna. Ms. Brimm is too formal for someone who just offered me such liberal assistance.”

  “I know it’s Rayna. Ms. Brimm seems more befitting for a woman of your nature.” With his eyes slowly peeling from my face he continues, “You ladies enjoy your time at Cobalt. I’ll let the waiter know that you’re friends of mine and he’ll take good care of you.” That sexy smile had returned.

  I could tell right then and there he knew what to say and how to deliver it. We thanked him, said our goodbyes, and watched him walk down the steps of the V.I.P. float and disappear onto the dance floor.

  “Damn! He is Fionnnnnne!” April’s girlfriend, Tracy, belted. The girls started high fiving one another while I was sitting there breathless.

  Even Michelle chimed in by saying, “Did you see how he was eye fucking you? Na-Na, if you can’t handle that pass him over here!”

  We were all tipsy; some even so drunk they were brashly loud and didn’t care. Me, my reaction to liquor was more sedative, to keep it together for appearances sake. Tracy was right, Azmir was absolutely gorgeous! That inconvenient fact couldn’t be ignored. But what could I do? He’d be an official business associate starting next week. Besides, I knew embarking on a new relationship of any kind would be an improbable possibility considering my issues as well as pending responsibilities as a practice manager. This included even a relationship of a sexual nature, because that’s likely all he was after anyway.

  I saw Azmir Jacobs once again that night while in line waiting for the bathroom with Britni. He was getting off the elevator near the restroom area. There were two people chatting with him as usual. He looked tense, tired even, but still deliciously debonair as ever. When his eyes so happened to land on me I tried diverting mine.

  Attempting to ignore him didn’t work because before I could completely think of my next act of diversion I felt someone leaning over me and as I craned my neck to look up he said, “Ms. Brimm, I have a private restroom upstairs if you’d like to use it.”

  He was so close that I could hear him clear over the music. This man smelled so good that my inner-workings began crying out to him. I stood there frozen with my eyes glued to his like a schoolgirl.

  “Sure, we would!” Britni screeched, bringing herself into our personal space—my space that Azmir had clearly intended to cross into. I could have slapped her for sounding so desperate. After her outburst I couldn’t avoid nodding in reluctant acquiesce.

  We followed
him back in the elevator up to the third floor and into the office area of the club, all the while with his heated gaze upon me. The third floor was quietly lit with soft music playing, much different than that of the club’s main hall. The walls were obliviously sound proof because you could barely hear or feel the bass of the speakers from below. He escorted us past the reception area, into his office and then directed us to the private bathroom.

  Britni pushed past me and went in first. Embarrassed by her rudeness, I turned back toward him with a soft smile so that he would know that we were not the animals Britni just emulated. Azmir smiled in return and included his eyes in the sentiment. God, this man is dangerously handsome!

  It had been some time since I’d been strongly attracted to a man, but never had I experienced physiological responses to one without effort. His phone rang to his dismay because he sighed in frustration and after checking the phone number, he answered. The person was yelling over the music that I assumed came from downstairs.

  “I’m up in the office and I’ll be back down in a minute. I know. I’ve gotten caught up in something. I’ll be down soon.” He hung up unmistakably annoyed and immediately found my wondering eyes.

  “Missing you already?” I teased.

  “Hardly.” I watched as he scratched his head as though his mind was preoccupied and a smirk slowly eclipsed his face.

  “So, Ms. Brimm, when will you be opening the physical therapy office?”

  “A week from Monday, although I’ll be starting on next Wednesday setting up the aesthetics.”

  “Oh, good,” he replied with knitted eyes before Britni opened the door to come out of the bathroom. I was relieved because I was about to piss in my sexy boots in front of this hunk of a man.

  After I’d come out of the bathroom I noticed Britni musing around Azmir’s office trying to engage him in conversation in a seductive manner. What took me by surprise was that his eyes were fixated on me from the time I went in the bathroom to the second I came out. He had that intense gaze again. It was at that moment that it was clear to me that he wanted me. The question was, how did he want me?