Skull and Thrones: A LitRPG/GameLit Adventure

by Eric Ugland

  Boris crept into the room, and I followed. Voices came from the single visible entrance, humans talking about something. The problem, however, was the acoustics in the burrow. Or warren. Or home. Whatever you want to call the kobold collection of living spaces, the acoustics were terrible. It was likely only because the hunters were so busy talking to themselves that they didn't hear the clatter Boris made trying to be sneaky. Or so I thought. Someone definitely heard us, and footsteps started coming our way.

  I was about to say something, but Boris promptly opened up another secret door, just to the right of the main entrance. It revealed another tunnel. Shorter, though, because I could see the other end. He darted inside, and I followed, pulling the dilapidated attempt at a bookshelf closed behind me.

  We waited inside, and I held my breath. There was the tiniest little hole in the secret-bookshelf door, and if I put my eye right up to it, I got a decent view of the room.

  A hunter came in, and looked around. A burly sort of a guy with enough scruff that he looked in dire need for a shave. And a haircut, for that matter. He had some wicked scars on his face that put him in the realm of hideous, but also kind of cool in that partially destroyed sort of way. He had a long cudgel in one hand, something that looked to be a brutally heavy hunk of iron with a fat lump of another metal at one end. He used the cudgel to push stuff out of the way, knocking over a basket full of nuts that clattered across the hewn stone floor.

  He bent to pick up a handful of the nuts. He sniffed, then made a disgusted noise, and threw the handful against the wall.

  One more cursory look, and he went back down the tunnel the other way.

  "Which way?" I whispered to Boris. I turned and saw that he'd already scampered to the other end and was peeking out.

  By the time I made it over to him, Boris had decided that whatever he'd been looking at wasn't worth looking at any longer, so he pushed past me to go back into the room we'd just come from. He hesitated at the bookshelf-door, then very carefully stepped out into the sleeping quarters.

  I followed, wishing I had a better idea of this place. I made a vow that if I ever participated in another kobold rescue mission, I would have a map of the damn place before I stepped foot inside.

  And speaking of feet, there was the new obstacle of the loose nuts all over the floor. Which my buddy Boris promptly stepped on, and face-planted.

  He jumped back up immediately, and rushed across to the other side. His efforts to move quickly sent the nuts shooting across the room in a staccato cacophony, but the little dude ignored the noise. He climbed a crate, pulled a fabric covering to the side, and jumped inside another damn hidden tunnel. I had to follow, or be lost. As I slipped into the hole, I heard the hunters coming.

  "I knew I heard something," one of them said.

  I crawled through the tunnel as fast as possible, not waiting to see what might happen with the hunters.

  Ahead, Boris was— Boris was with two other kobolds, arguing in what I could only assume was kobold sign language.

  I didn't bother to stop. I knew the hunters would start searching for secret tunnels, and it wasn't hard to imagine them pushing aside the tapestry on the wall first thing. I barreled in between the kobolds and pushed open the door on the other end, rolling out of the tunnel before I even had a good chance to look at the room.

  The new room was another sleeping setup, almost a carbon copy of the last one. There was an equal amount of stuff, with just some minor variations.

  For a second, the three kobolds just looked at me. Then Boris jumped out and gestured to the two others.

  They jumped out as well, and we shut the shelf over the tunnel.

  This room had two exits, both leading to tunnels that curved enough I couldn't see the ends.

  "Where to?" I asked Boris.

  He held up a claw to me, and conferred with the other two. One of the two went over to the tapestry hanging on the wall — a tapestry that was remarkably similar to the last one — and he pulled it to the side to reveal another tunnel. This was getting ridiculous.

  There were several kobolds inside. Boris hopped up and gestured for me to follow.

  I did, and we settled the tapestry nicely again.

  "Some kobolds captured," Boris said. "In main room now. Or sewer tunnel. Rest in here."

  I looked at the gathered kobolds and did a quick count. Twelve, plus Boris made thirteen.

  "Then on to the main room," I said.

  Boris nodded and scampered off. Followed by a dozen kobolds, leaving me in the rear. Which, to be fair, was probably best because they could actually move through the secret tunnels, whereas I was feeling the pain from working my way through there.

  Getting to the main room required a long long run-crawl through the secret tunnel, then crossing another room before entering another secret tunnel. Then there was a short regular visible passage that showed the way to the main room. Which was not the very first room of the place. Looking through the tunnel, I could see a heap of nets and cages holding kobolds. Eight of them. They looked resigned and dejected.

  All thirteen of my kobold buddies were out with me for a second, and then they hopped into a different secret tunnel.

  "You get them," Boris said. "We wait here. Then get back to nursery."

  "By nursery, do you mean dump?"

  "Both. Yes."

  I shook my head, not thrilled about being the one who had to do all the work. But honestly, I would probably do better on my own than trying to delegate to a bunch of kobolds.

  I headed down the tunnel, careful not to make noise, and paused at the entrance to the main room.

  The place was big. Fifty feet plus across, with a domed ceiling at least twenty feet above. There were even bunches of weak glowstones hanging in baskets. None of the stones had enough magic in them to put out visible light by themselves, but the groups of them worked well enough. Tables and chairs were scattered around, but they mostly looked like they were about to fall apart. I counted six archways leading to normal hallways. Down one of them, I could hear the sound of hunters tearing apart a room. In between the archways, the walls were lined with workbenches. They held a whole bunch of tools, an alarming amount of gack, and a few finished elements. It wasn't clear if there was any sort of ownership to the worktables, or if any of the projects being done on them had any focus. It was both interesting and confusing. What were the little dragon guys doing?

  A large crash followed by excited shouting rocked me back to the present. The hunters had found the secret tunnels.

  Time to motor. I had eight kobolds to rescue.

  I grabbed the first netted kobold. The creature's eyes went wide as I pulled it along the tunnel back to our staging room. Once there, I turned right back around, leaving the others to actually release the little dude.

  It was tiring. Despite their small stature, kobolds are actually pretty heavy. But little by little, I managed to haul them all back. And only one of the kobolds bit me.

  I smacked it on its snout, and it whined back at me.

  Whenever I was in the main room, I could hear the hunters crashing through tunnels, pulling everything apart as they looked for more tunnels. This was definitely going to wind up being a super close call.

  When I got the last one into our staging room, all twenty of the other kobolds descended on the trapped one and ripped it free. Then, twenty-one kobolds looked at me. I recognized a few of them, the white feathery ones who I’d assumed were older, from the last time I’d dealt with these guys. I gave a nod of acknowledgment to them, but they didn’t reciprocate.

  "Don't suppose you've got a secret tunnel to the nursery, do you?" I asked.

  Twenty-one heads shook in almost perfect unison. It was creepy.

  “So we have to go back the way I came?" I asked. "Big main room to sewer connection to nursery?"

  The kobolds looked at each other. No one offered up any answers.

  It took a remarkable amount of restraint not to punt one of them.
They were easily the most annoying creatures I'd dealt with in all of Vuldranni.

  They ran around me like a school of minnows around a barracuda. I had no choice but to follow.

  We got into the room just as the group of hunters stumbled in as well. Everyone skidded to a stop. The kobolds stared at the hunters, and the hunters stared at me.

  I just smiled.

  Then I cast minor illusion behind the hunters, making it seem like a giant slime was crawling through the tunnel.

  “Uh, behind you,” I said.

  But the kobolds saw it first. And naturally, they all started running.

  When the hunters looked over their shoulders and saw the slime, some screamed, and all of them ran. Right towards us.

  Which meant I started running in that direction too. It was a little odd to be running right next to a sewer hunter in stinky leather armor. He gave me a look, trying to figure out what I was doing down there. I just shrugged.

  We all charged down the tunnel, heading back towards the sewers.

  At the junction to the sewers, I screamed out in Kobold, “LEFT!”

  Whether there’s an inborn trait for kobolds to obey orders, I don’t know. But they all made a tight left turn and barreled down the hall towards the nursery.

  The hunters went straight out into the sewers. But I knew the illusion wasn’t going to fool them for long.

  “Boris,” I said in Kobold, “we need to get out the bolt-hole as soon as possible.”

  Boris nodded. He skidded in the trash before going down on all fours. Then he dug through everything like a dog on meth.

  “Get the babies down here,” I said.

  Shae popped up and started handing the wee ones down to me. They were snuggly balls of warmth, their big heads and big eyes tugging on heartstrings I wasn’t even aware I had. I passed the babies on to the other kobolds, and pretty soon, we were ready to go.

  Or so I thought. We all had armfuls of babies, and there were still more.

  “Your cloak,” Shae said. “Give it to me, and then, uh, switch with me.”

  “Switch what?” I asked, unlacing the cloak and tossing it up to her.

  “You pass the kids down, and I’ll carry them.”

  “In my cloak?”

  “Yes,” she said, throwing the cloak right back at me.

  I left it on the ground, hopped up on the chair, and pulled myself into the hidden nursery.

  There were ten little guys left.

  Shae hopped over the edge and lowered herself down, saying a quick hello to all the kobolds surrounding her.

  I could hear the hunters yelling at each other at the other end of the hall, trying to drum up courage between the group.

  Quickly, but gently, I passed the remaining kobold babies over the edge to Shae, who created something along the lines of a baby-sling with my cloak.

  With the last one over the edge, a particularly vibrant green fellow with a ridge of soft spines down his back and tail, I hopped over.

  I felt pressure on my back, and heard one of the kobolds say, “Latch.”

  Tiny claws grabbed onto me. Not painful, but tight.

  I looked over my shoulder and down a bit, and saw one of the babies hanging onto my shirt. Before I could say anything to stop them, the kobolds latched babies all over me. And Shae. Which I might have gotten truly angry at, except for the fact that each of the 21 kobolds also had one baby latched onto them. One left, the vibrant green fellow. I just picked him up and carried him like a football.

  “Ready,” Boris said.

  Several of the kobolds got in a circle.

  “Lift,” Boris said.

  They lifted what was, in essence, a camouflaged manhole cover, revealing a hole cut into the ground. A harsh cold air blew out of the dark hole, and I was hit with a wave of what I could only adequately describe as pure terror. But it passed after I took a few breaths.

  “What is this short cut?” I whispered.

  “Not short cut,” Boris replied in a hushed tone. “Escape.”

  “Or death,” the older kobold said. “Most likely death for all.”

  “Great escape plan, Boris,” I said.

  He smiled. “Thank you.”

  And he disappeared into the darkness below.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  It took a moment to really grasp the change in environment when we went through the hole, going from fetid, humid, rank sewers into a dry, semi-frozen darkened tunnel. It wasn't as small as the secret tunnels between the kobold rooms, so I could actually walk without much trouble. At least I would have been able to walk easily, if it weren’t for all the kobold babies attached to me. They were sweltering, like having little heaters all over my body. I basically steamed my way along.

  The tunnel looked enough like the rest of the kobold quarters above that it made sense it was also something kobold-made. Boris led the way, with Shae, me, and the older kobolds in the middle of the pack. The kobolds at the rear stayed back to make sure the trash pit looked properly like a trash pit before dropping down themselves. All done so the hunters wouldn’t suspect anything. They’d probably find the nursery and tear it apart in search of secret doors, but I doubted they’d think to look under the trash.

  The tunnel went along angling down at a slightly uncomfortable angle. There was a much subtler scent in the air. Actually it could very well have been something seriously potent, and it was just taking my nose a little time to recover after the onslaught in the sewers. We continued on, lower and lower, until all the kobolds stopped and knelt down.

  “What?” I asked.

  An old kobold at my right grabbed my hand, and when I looked over at him, he simply shook his head. Then he yanked at my arm until I knelt next to him.

  Shae, likewise, got pulled into a kneeling position.

  Boris made his way back along the line of kobolds until he was next to me.

  “Come,” he said. “You must see.”

  I wanted to ask a lot a lot of questions, but I knew Boris would only answer me literally. Instead of following my curiosity, I just followed him.

  The other kobolds remained quiet. Whatever we were about to witness seriously scared them.

  Ahead, I could see a slight glow. Blue.

  The tunnel had reached the point where it came out of a wall, and, splayed out in front of me, was a massive city. A massive ruined city, to be sure, but a city nonetheless.

  I stared at it, my mind struggling to process what exactly I was looking over, because it just didn’t make sense. The kobold tunnel came out onto a walkway, high above the city itself. The bottom, at least as far as I could see, had to be at least a hundred feet below. It had been built into the rock and earth, as well as built on top of it. Wide streets cut through city blocks. Well, where the streets cut through the remains of city blocks. Many walls had fallen down. There were scattered piles of rock all over the place. Some were natural-looking, but in other spots, it seemed like someone had purposefully stacked stones. There was an odd blue glow about the place, but I couldn’t see any direct sources of the light. It was like the light was coming from behind the buildings. Or the rocks. Or anything. Everything.

  “What is this place?” I asked.

  Boris shrugged, then said, “Ruins.”

  “Have you explored them?”

  He shook his head.

  “Any reason why not?” I asked.

  “Things in there.”

  “Things, huh? I’m assuming that’s the extent of your knowledge.”

  Boris nodded. “This way, but be very quiet. And low.”

  “Low? What the—“

  “Below railing,” he said, pointing at the railing along the walkway below us. “They see well. No want them see us. Will end bad. For all.”

  Boris went first, climbing down carefully. The two babies latched onto his back had somehow managed to fall asleep during all this, and were completely at ease with the situation. I noticed that my own group had done the same. Interesting evolution
ary choice.

  I was next, dropping the six feet from the hole in the wall down to the walkway. I had to avoid the broken stone left over from the kobolds’ incursion, but it wasn’t too hard.

  As soon as my feet were planted on the walkway, I was moving, following Boris. I had to crouch-walk to stay below the balustrade, but that gave me a chance to see some of the workmanship of the ruins. It was expertly done, but there was a decided lack of artisanship. Stonework around Glaton almost always had at least a little flourish on it, and often had unbelievably intricate carvings. Here, though, things had a more utilitarian flare.

  A roar echoed from below. I couldn't help myself — I had to peek over.

  I edged up, and as soon as my eyes had sight of the ruined cityscape below, I stopped moving completely.

  There were forms down there. If they were human, they were seriously deformed. They were crouching, with massive hunchbacks that raised up, almost like a buffalo’s. They had large heads that seemed to come out of their torso, sans neck. Their arms were long and muscular, but besides that, they looked like maybe they’d all decided, as a group, that leg day just didn't need to be a thing any more. They wore very basic clothing, something between loincloths and togas, that was a pale gray that contrasted intensely with their very dark skin. Or fur. It wasn't super clear from this distance.

  I watched the group move through the ruins and did my best to count them. Forty-three. They looked remarkably similar in size and appearance, almost like I was watching a retro video game where there was only a single model for each npc. They roared, all at once. Just letting out a barbaric yawp as they moved along.

  A second roar answered them, and the first group stopped, pulling weapons out from somewhere. All a sudden they were ready to fight. I saw a wide variety of weapons, but it looked like they were using all of them as clubs. It made me wonder if there was treasure down there. I mean, it seemed likely. The ruins had to be hiding something, but I'd never heard about the ruins from anyone on the surface. Maybe they were an unknown.