‘We are two happy nasty crones,
‘Cause soon we’ll see some werewolf bones.’
They shrieked with laughter.
Alfie sat helplessly on the floor, half paralysed by the silver. What were they talking about? Who were their little darlings? Whose bones?
Just then the door flew open. Creak-crack-creak. Mrs Chalker was standing in the doorway. She shook her fist and stamped her foot. Her eyes spat fire.
‘What’s going on here, you horrible sisters? What are you up to?’
Never before had Alfie been so happy to see Mrs Chalker. Phew, he thought. Saved!
37
Revenge
‘Well?’ Mrs Chalker said. ‘What’s the story?’ Creaking, she stepped into the room. Cheeker and Choker shrank. Mrs Chalker looked at Alfie, trembling in the corner.
Phew, I’m saved, he thought again.
‘What did I tell you?’ Mrs Chalker snarled. ‘Are you disobeying me? Or are you deaf?’ She jerked hard on Choker’s earlobe. ‘Do you want to lose another eye and ear? Just like before?’ She raised her umbrella menacingly, pointing the silver tip straight at Cheeker’s eye.
‘No, no, don’t,’ the sisters moaned. ‘Not again!’ They held their hands over their lone eye and ear.
Mrs Chalker nodded. ‘Good. You’ve got the message. Never start without me. I want to join in the fun.’ She turned around to Alfie. ‘So, little werewolf, I’ve finally got you in my clutches again. And this time you wont escape.
Alfie looked at her silently. He felt as if his heart had stopped beating, as if his blood had stopped flowing, as if his breath was frozen.
‘Ha-ha!’ Mrs Chalker screamed. ‘That’s opened up your eyes. Struck dumb, aren’t you? You didn’t expect this. You fell for it. You thought kind-hearted Mrs Chalker was going to rescue you. Ha!’
Cheeker and Choker started to snigger. Luke was still shining the torch at Alfie and now Mrs Chalker pointed her umbrella at him too.
‘Think again, wolfie. Kind-hearted Mrs Chalker doesn’t exist. Only mean Mrs Chalker. Furious Mrs Chalker. The bloodthirsty Mrs Chalker who only wants one thing. REVENGE!
‘Because it was thanks to you that I got locked up at the RCUPA. Thanks to you and your family. That’s why I founded the Rub Out Werewolves Club.’
Oh, thought Alfie. Now I understand. The R.O.W. Club doesn’t have anything to do with people rowing. He tried to get up, but Luke pushed him back down with his foot.
‘Stay!’ he snarled.
‘Attaboy, Lukey,’ Mrs Chalker crowed.
Luke sneered at Alfie, who suddenly saw it all very clearly. Luke, pointing out Noura in the class. The strawberry cake with the silver fork. That was a vicious trick to prove to Mrs Chalker that Noura was a werewolf.
‘Wrow,’ he growled at Luke. ‘I knew you couldn’t be trusted. You betrayed Noura. I’ll never forgive you for that. You’re the most evil boy in the world.’
Mrs Chalker started laughing even louder.
‘Boy? Is that what you think?’
Luke and Cheeker and Choker giggled along. Mrs Chalker nodded at Luke.
‘Show him.’
‘With pleasure,’ Luke said. ‘I’m glad to finally take this thing off.’ He grabbed his face under the chin, just above his collar, then pulled it up, as if it was a peel. Alfie growled with fright. All of a sudden Luke was holding his face in his hand. It was a rubber mask and the long black hair was a wig. Standing in front of Alfie was a small man with a bald head, a wrinkled face and beady little eyes.
‘Meet my brother, Luke,’ Mrs Chalker smirked. ‘Bit small for his age and ugly as sin, but with a good nose for werewolves …’
38
The R.O.W. Club
Mrs Chalker stared at Alfie with a mad look in her eyes.
‘You didn’t see that coming, did you, werewolf cub? Luke is our little brother. We’ve been training him ever since he was a baby.’ She sighed and seemed to drift off for a moment. ‘Yes, those were the days. Before I came to live here. Beautiful memories …’
She blinked a few times and looked back at Alfie. ‘For years we trained Luke and taught him everything there is to know about werewolves.’ She picked at Luke’s collar with a pointy fingernail. ‘Luke was a good pupil. He’s more obedient than Cheeker and Choker. As you can see, he’s still got two eyes and two ears.’
A look of terror came on to Luke’s face. Mrs Chalker quickly patted him on the head. ‘Good boy, Lukey. Down.’
Luke laid his head on her shoulder and panted like a dog.
Mrs Chalker grinned. ‘We hardly need to chain him up at all these days.’
‘I— I thought you’d turned nice,’ Alfie mumbled. ‘But you’re worse than ever. You’re pure evil!’
Mrs Chalker looked down at Alfie. ‘You think it was easy acting nice?’ she screeched. ‘It was hard work. It was disgusting, but I had to do it. Otherwise the RCUPA would never have let me go. I was released for good behaviour and I had to keep it up. I couldn’t allow a moment’s weakness. Like when you were hiding in my garden.’
‘Wrow, you knew about that?’ Alfie growled.
‘Ha, of course I’d seen you. So I had to immediately switch to kind-hearted Chalker.’ She sniggered. ‘I think I did it quite well. I almost believed it myself. I should get a prize for it.’
‘Ha-ha, a prize. Good one, sis,’ screamed Cheeker and Choker, who thought it was so funny that they started leaping around and slapping each other on the back.
‘And afterwards at that school with those repulsive children. And on the street when I bumped into you or your stupid family. I always had to be nice. Bah! It made me feel sick.’ She bent over Alfie and started whispering. Alfie smelt her sour breath.
‘But I stayed strong. My plan had to succeed. It was all for a good cause: Chalker’s Revenge. Because of you, the RCUPA locked me up. That’s something all werewolves must pay for. You’re going to be exterminated. Rubbed out once and for all.’
‘Yes, yes, revenge, cool!’ Cheeker and Choker cheered. The R.O.W. Club for ever!’
‘Shut up,’ Mrs Chalker snarled. ‘I’m talking. I want him to know exactly how I lured him into my trap. Let him sweat a little before he goes into the cauldron.’ She pointed at the big wardrobe. ‘You see that wardrobe? There’s a surprise for you in there, wolf brat. A very big surprise.’ She gestured to Cheeker and Choker. ‘Open it!’
Cheeker and Choker raced over to the wardrobe.
‘Really?’ gasped Cheeker. ‘Can I open it now?’
Mrs Chalker gave her sister a withering glare. ‘Doesn’t that one flappy ear of yours work? What did I say? OPEN IT!’
Quickly Cheeker pulled open the door. Two limp bodies rolled out of the cupboard and on to the floor, where they lay motionless.
39
Dead?
Alfie stared at the bodies in disbelief. They were bound tight with thick ropes, their eyes were closed and their jaws were taped shut with black tape. It was Leo and Grandpa Werewolf, showing no signs of life.
‘Hilarious, isn’t it?’ Mrs Chalker said. ‘Two dumb werewolves. But that’s not all. How do you like our R.O.W. boat?’
Cheeker and Choker immediately walked over to the rowing boat and raised the lid, revealing a small black werewolf. Alfie gasped. Noura! She was lying completely motionless with her legs spread as if …
Alfie had never been so frightened in all his life. A shiver passed down his back from the top of his head to the tip of his tail. He looked up at Mrs Chalker.
‘Wrow, what have you done? Are they … is she …’
‘Dead?’ Mrs Chalker sniggered. ‘Of course …’ She sniggered even louder. ‘… not. That would be a waste, wouldn’t it? They’re just knocked out, but they’ll wake up soon. They still have to go in the piranha cauldron. After you, of course.’
Alfie stared silently at Mrs Chalker.
‘Why the dumb expression, werewolf? Ah, I get it. You don’t know what piranhas are, do you?’
Alfie kept lo
oking at her without moving. I’m dreaming, he thought. This must be a nightmare.
Mrs Chalker giggled. ‘All the better, -it’ll be educational, tee-hee. You’ll figure it out. Because you’re going in the cauldron.’ Mrs Chalker gave a malicious laugh. Her eyes seemed to have turned dark red.
Desperately Alfie looked around. Grandpa Werewolf, Leo and Noura still hadn’t moved a muscle.
Mrs Chalker nodded to Cheeker and Choker, who grabbed hold of Alfie.
Alfie wriggled and growled and snarled. ‘Wrow, let go. Get off!’
But together Cheeker and Choker had a grip of iron. Their muscles were like steel from carrying the R.O.W. boat around. Effortlessly they dragged Alfie over to the black cauldron. Chalker pushed Alfie’s head over the edge.
‘Have a look, son. You’re about to go for a swim.’
Dark shapes were moving under the surface of the water. Cold eyes peered up at him. The fish looked extremely hungry.
‘Watch this!’ Mrs Chalker shouted, sticking the point of her umbrella into the cauldron. The water boiled. Monstrous toothy jaws shot up, snapping. Mrs Chalker pulled out the umbrella again. The point was bent and covered with deep tooth marks.
‘D’you see that, wolfboy?’ Mrs Chalker whispered, panting with excitement. ‘Did you see those big, razor-sharp teeth flash? My darlings can hardly wait. They’re so keen to sink their teeth into you.’ Cackling, she threw her umbrella down on the floor. ‘Now it’s your turn.’
They grabbed hold of Alfie.
40
Rescued?
Just then there was a bang on the door. A very loud bang. There was also a terrifying noise, an inhuman roar.
Cheeker and Choker looked at Chalker. They’d both turned white as ghosts.
‘What’s that horrible noise?’ they whispered.
Alfie recognized it immediately. Maybe he was going to be rescued after all. Mrs Chalker was still holding him in an iron grip. Again there was a hard bang on the door: CLANG! Silence. CLANG! Slow and menacing, blow after blow landed on the door while the strange bellowing continued.
Cheeker and Choker hugged each other fearfully.
‘Th-that’s really scary, sis,’ they whispered. ‘It sounds like a … kind of monster.’
CLANG!
Even Mrs Chalker seemed nervous. Suddenly she stamped her foot angrily.
‘So what? I don’t care what it is. We’re the R.O.W. Club, -we rub things out. Anyone and anything that gets in our way. Even monst—’
CLANG!
The door flew open.
41
Unmonstered
There was the monster, looking very monstrous. It was big and square and long and green, with strange antlers protruding from its head. The monster howled, squeaked and groaned. Beams of light shone out of its eyes. Its snout was a long grey trunk that ended in scary tentacles.
Slowly, the monster staggered into the room. Its head rubbed over the ceiling. Its body writhed and seethed. It seemed to be moving under its skin.
Then it roared, howled and whined. Its trunk swung through the air, grabbing at the old ladies.
Cheeker shrieked. Choker screamed.
‘Help! It’s the blood-drinking, bone-crunching cupboard monster. It’s found us after all these years.’ Trembling they crept into a corner and sat there hugging each other.
Even Mrs Chalker turned pale.
‘It can’t be,’ she growled. ‘I made up the blood-drinking, bone-crunching cupboard monster! Didn’t I?’
The monster’s shadow fell over her. Mrs Chalker stepped back, pulling Alfie along behind her. The monster swung its head, wrapping its trunk around her neck.
Mrs Chalker screamed with terror, fending off the trunk with one hand.
‘Go away, monster!’ She grabbed Alfie by the ears and held him in front of her as a shield.’
‘Wrow, ow, my ears,’ Alfie groaned.
‘Shut your trap, werewolf!’ Mrs Chalker screamed. ‘Devour this wolf if you’re so hungry, monster.’
‘What monster?’ interrupted a voice. Luke stepped forward out of the darkness. He seemed to always hide in dark corners. Sniggering, he aimed his torch at the monster’s feet. ‘Look, it’s wearing polished black lace-ups. Monsters don’t wear shoes. Especially not shiny shoes.’ Luke laughed. ‘What’s more, monsters don’t wear tablecloths.’ He grabbed the monster and tugged. A big green cloth floated down to the floor.
‘Wrow.’ Alfie tried to break free, but Mrs Chalker grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, squeezing hard.
‘You’re not going anywhere, werewolf. Look who we have here!’
The monster had disappeared. Now it was just Dad. Hanging from his neck was the accordion, which fell silent with a deep sigh. Tim was sitting on his shoulders with the coat rack on his head: the antlers. Above his ears were two thin torches: the monster’s eyes.
PLOP. The grey trunk fell down. It was a vacuum-cleaner hose. The tentacles were a rubber glove, which now lay on the floor like a severed hand.
‘Whoops,’ Dad said. ‘We’ve been unmonstered. That wasn’t the plan. I shouldn’t have cleaned my shoes.’
Cheeker and Choker emerged from their corner.
‘I knew it,’ Cheeker hooted. ‘You’re not a dangerous monster!’
Just then a loud voice roared out.
‘Huh? Where be Leo now? Who the loony ladies?’
42
Strong
Leo, Alfie’s big cousin, had come to and opened his jaws. Leo had very strong jaws and the tape had snapped immediately. ‘Hey, why’s Leo all winded up in ropeses?’
‘Look,’ Dad said. ‘There’s Leo. And Grandpa Werewolf and Noura!’
Mrs Chalker stamped her foot. ‘Enough yammering! Grab those two fools and put them with the others. More piranha bait.’
Cheeker and Choker rushed over to Dad and Tim.
‘Whoa, ladies, what are you doing?’ Dad said. He tried to push Cheeker away, but she was stronger. Choker grabbed Tim.
‘Sorry, son,’ Dad said. ‘I thought this was men’s work, but these ladies are super strong.’
Cheeker and Choker dragged them over to the cauldron.
Mrs Chalker’s eyes gleamed in the dark. ‘I’ve got a fun idea. First we throw the girl werewolf in the cauldron. We can all watch the fish doing their best on her. It will make a nice show.’
Alfie wanted to scream out, ‘No!’ But he couldn’t get a sound out. Mrs Chalker had her bony arm wrapped tight around his neck.
‘Luke, bring her over here!’ Chalker said.
Alfie couldn’t do anything except watch as Luke picked Noura up out of the rowing boat. He carried her over to the cauldron as if she weighed nothing at all. Noura hung helpless over his shoulder.
‘Hey, what’s the goings-on?’ Leo shouted. ‘What youse doing with Nourala? Why won’t nobody speaks to Leo?’
For a second Alfie watched Luke carrying Noura, but then something seemed to explode in his head. He suddenly felt unknown power in himself. His blood surged through his veins.
‘Wrow!’ With a furious growl he broke free from Mrs Chalker, shoving her hard and knocking her over backwards.
‘Ahhh, you rotten wolf,’ Mrs Chalker screeched.
Alfie looked at her, growled and jumped on top of her. ‘Stay still, you old bag! Or I’ll bite your skinny neck!’ Then he turned around. He looked at Luke, who was still holding Noura.
‘Wrow. Put Noura down, Luke. Let go of her. You’ve already betrayed her once.’
Luke sneered. ‘What you going to do about it, werewolf wimp?’ He gave a panting laugh and wrapped an arm around Noura’s throat. Under Alfie, Mrs Chalker peered sideways at the cauldron. Her umbrella was still lying between its black, iron legs. Carefully she reached out towards it.
Alfie glared at Luke, feeling the hair bristle all over his body. His whole being glowed with rage.
‘I … I’ll bite you really hard if you don’t let go of her.’
Luke only laughed louder.
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‘Hey, somebody! Unpackify Leo,’ Leo roared.
Mrs Chalker snatched her umbrella from under the cauldron and pointed the bent, silver point at Alfie. He jumped back with fright.
‘Ha-ha!’ Chalker screamed, pressing the point of the umbrella against Alfie’s chest so that he couldn’t move a muscle.
‘We’ll see who’s boss around here,’ Mrs Chalker rejoiced. ‘Throw the girl werewolf in the cauldron. Now!’
Just then a shadow appeared at the window. CRASH! The window pane smashed into pieces, sending glass everywhere. Someone leapt into the room.
43
Women’s Work
The moon shone in through the broken window, glittering on hundreds of pieces of glass on the floor. Someone was standing there. She was holding a broom.
‘Mum!’ Tim shouted.
‘Darling!’ Dad shouted.
‘Wrow,’ Alfie said in surprise.
‘Yippedy-doodah,’ roared Leo. ‘Here’s Mumsy. Set Leo free, Mumsy, quicks-a-daisies.’
All eyes were on Mum. She was wearing an apron, rubber boots and rubber gloves. She had a tea towel tied around her head. She was holding her broom tight in both hands. She looked fearless.
‘Time for spring cleaning,’ she called.
‘Ka-boom!’ Dad said admiringly.
Mum summed up the situation at a glance: Tim and Dad held tight by Cheeker and Choker, Noura helpless over Luke’s shoulder, Alfie pressed up against the wall with Chalker’s umbrella point against his chest, and Grandpa Werewolf and Leo tied up on the floor. She looked at Dad for a moment and softly shook her head.
‘Men’s work, you said? Tsss! This is a hopeless mess.’
Choker’s arm was tight as a vice around Dad’s neck.
Alfie the Werewolf 5: The Evil Triplets Page 7