‘I’m sorry, sweetheart,’ he gasped. ‘I thought it was men’s work. But there are too many treacherous women here.’
‘Cut the chit-chat, will you?’ Mrs Chalker snapped. ‘This isn’t a tea party, you know.’
Mum nodded. ‘No, it’s time for women’s work. Girlpower.’ Her eyes met Alfie’s, who was paralysed with the silver point against his chest. She winked at him.
Mum twirled the broom in her hand and smiled menacingly at Mrs Chalker. ‘You haven’t changed a bit. You’re as evil as ever. Once wicked, always wicked. Sad but true.’
Mrs Chalker burst out laughing. ‘What are you going to do with that broom? Sweep the floor? Be my guest, tidy up.’
Mum nodded. ‘Well spotted. I have come to tidy up this mess. I’m going to sweep it away with my new broom. It’s a very good one, I had to search hard to find it. The handle is made of the strongest Brazilian hardwood. The brush is real East African porcupine quill. And you’ve made a very big mistake.’
Mrs Chalker looked at Mum quizzically. ‘A mistake? Me? What do you mean, Mrs Broom?’
Mum raised her broom. Light flashed in her eyes.
‘You tried to hurt my family! My boys! That was an enormous mistake! Never underestimate an angry mother. Ever heard of broom fighting?’
‘Broom fighting! That was it,’ Dad mumbled to Tim. ‘Mum’s course. Not room lighting— Ugh …’
Choker was squeezing his throat. ‘Shut up, boy.’
‘Broom fighting?’ Mrs Chalker laughed. ‘Do you think that feeble broom—’ For a moment she forgot to watch Alfie.
He knocked the umbrella aside and dropped to the floor, rolled over to Mrs Chalker and bit her in the calf.
‘Oww!’ screamed Mrs Chalker.
‘Euw,’ spat Alfie. Her calf tasted disgusting: tough and stringy.
Mum thrust the broom forward with enormous power. Right into Chalker’s chin. THWACK! Mrs Chalker flew backwards, crashing into Cheeker and Choker and knocking them over.
Suddenly a cloud passed in front of the moon, blocking out the light. It was pitch black and everybody was yelling at once.
In the darkness, Alfie leapt at Luke. ‘Wrow!’ He knocked Luke over and caught Noura.
Luke got up, swinging wildly, but missed everyone. He didn’t have werewolf eyesight and could hardly see a thing in the dark.
Meanwhile there were hard blows. BOOF! THONK! Mum was going wild with her broom. Screams and yells.
‘Ooph.’
The evil sisters started swearing. ‘Shrivelled bunions! Twisted caterpillars!’
‘Go for it, sweetie!’ Dad shouted.
WHACK!
‘Ow, that was me!’
‘Sorry, dear,’ Mum said.
‘What be happening?’ Leo roared. ‘Leo wants to play too. Sets me free, please. Then Leo does some bashings too.’
Alfie dragged Noura to a corner and laid her down carefully, no longer paying any attention to what was happening around him. She still hadn’t moved. Gently, he stroked Noura’s coat with his paw. She has to wake up, thought Alfie. What have those demented witches done to her? She’s lying so still. As if … Tears leapt to his eyes.
‘Noura, wake up!’
She lay there motionless. She didn’t even seem to be breathing. Alfie held his ear over her mouth and listened.
‘Come on, Noura,’ he whispered.
Suddenly Noura groaned. So unexpectedly that Alfie jumped. She opened her eyes. For a moment she didn’t seem to be able to focus. Then she looked at Alfie with a terrified expression.
‘Alfie? Help! Those scary women …’
44
Splash!
‘Wrow,’ growled Alfie. ‘Hush now.’ He had never felt so relieved. A raw sob escaped his throat.
‘Everything’s going to be fine, Noura. Mum’s here.’ He held Noura tight. She seemed to be only half conscious. Alfie rocked her gently.
‘Listen, Noura.’
There was an enormous racket all around them. Objects flew through the air. Things fell over.
‘Did you hear that, Noura? That’s Mum with her broom.’
They heard cries. ‘Argh!’
And creaking. Creak-crack-creak.
Blows struck home in the darkness. WHAM! BAM!
The crash of glass. RINKLE TINKLE.
A door opened and slammed shut again. Then …
SPLASH!
Splash? thought Alfie. What’s that?
Then it was all over and there was nothing but silence and darkness. For a moment.
Suddenly a sea of light flooded out of a small bulb hanging from the ceiling. Mum was standing next to the door with her hand on the light switch and her broom over one shoulder. There was a blush on her cheeks and she was smiling. She wiped a few drops of sweat off her forehead.
‘Why didn’t someone turn on the light sooner? Everything OK there, Alfie? And everyone else too?’
Alfie nodded and blinked, quickly looking around. He saw Dad, Tim, Leo and Grandpa Werewolf. Everyone seemed to have come through it unscathed. Except for the big lump on Dad’s forehead, at least. Tim winked and gave Alfie the thumbs-up.
Grandpa Werewolf yawned loudly, ripping open the tape around his jaws. He smacked his lips a couple of times and looked around in surprise.
‘Where am I?’ he growled.
‘Youse be here, Grandpa,’ Leo bellowed. ‘And Leo be here too. We’s both winded up. And now we’s wanting to be unpackified, please.’
‘I’m coming, Leo,’ Tim said.
Alfie saw Cheeker and Choker lying in a pathetic heap in the corner, bony arms, legs, chins and noses sticking out at odd angles. Black and blue and out for the count.
Nice broom work, Mum, thought Alfie.
He searched around him. Where were Luke and Mrs Chalker? He couldn’t see them anywhere. He looked at the door and the broken window. They must have escaped.
Noura turned her head from left to right, stretched her legs and stood up gingerly. For a moment she wobbled. Alfie grabbed her arm.
‘Wrow, I’m glad to see you back on your feet, Noura.’
Noura nodded. ‘Me too, Alfie. What happened here?’
Alfie pointed at Mum. ‘The short story is, we were all prisoners and Mum rescued us.’
Noura’s eyes grew big. ‘Really? Wow, cool. Your mum’s a superhero!’
‘She sure is,’ Dad said, with a bright-red blush on his cheeks. He stared at Mum with an infatuated gaze. ‘Darling, you’re so … different. And you know how much I love things that are different. You’re fantastic. I’ve never seen you like this before. You … you’ve swept me off my feet all over again. And that tea towel looks very cute.’
Mum smiled shyly. ‘Sorry about the bump, dear. It wasn’t easy in the dark.’
‘It’s nothing,’ Dad said. ‘It was just a loving little tap.’
In the meantime Tim had released Leo and Grandpa Werewolf.
‘Where’s my walking stick?’ Grandpa Werewolf growled. ‘And my hat?’
Alfie pointed at the R.O.W. boat. ‘There they are, Grandpa. Over there.’
Tim picked up the hat and stick and gave them to Grandpa Werewolf.
‘Thank goodness,’ the old werewolf growled. ‘Now I feel like myself again.’
Leo paced back and forth to stretch his long legs. He was more than two metres tall and still growing.
‘Hey,’ he suddenly roared, ‘what be this?’ He was standing next to the black cauldron and looking into it. ‘This be full of floatsing bones and bitses. A whole skelly ton!’
Oh, so that was the splash, thought Alfie.
45
Who?
Everyone looked into the cauldron. Leo was right, there was a skeleton floating in it. They stared in silence at the gleaming white bones in the dark water. The piranhas were swimming around as well, looking as if they’d only just whetted their appetite.
‘Who could that have been?’ Dad asked at last.
Grandpa Werewolf growled angrily
. ‘I don’t care. Not one of us anyway. We’re alive and that’s what matters. That means it must be one of the bad guys.’
Mum suddenly looked a little pale. ‘Oh, heavens, did I do that? Did I knock someone into the cauldron with those ugly little fish?’
‘Maybe, sweetheart,’ Dad said. ‘You were really going to town there in the dark. You had them flying through the room like ping-pong balls. Maybe one of them accidentally fell into the cauldron.’
Mum’s gulp was loud enough for everyone to hear. ‘I didn’t know there were dangerous snapping fish in there.’
‘Wrow, it’s the evil triplets’ own fault,’ said Alfie. ‘This is their murder cauldron for rubbing out werewolves. They wanted those horrible fish to chew on Noura’s bones.’
‘Really?’ growled Noura.
‘Wrow, sorry, Noura, but it’s true. And afterwards it was going to be Grandpa’s and Leo’s and my turn.’
Leo growled loudly and kicked the cauldron. ‘The scoundrelizers!’ he roared. ‘They almost exterminaterated us. Cuzwolf Alfie and Nourala and my old grandpa. And Leo too. To our bones and bitses.’
‘So what I did was not really that terrible then?’ asked Mum hesitantly.
Dad shook his head. ‘Not at all, sweetness. It wasn’t your fault. It was fate. They had it coming.’ He peered into the cauldron again thoughtfully. ‘But who had it coming?’
‘Mrs Chalker or Luke,’ Alfie replied. ‘One of them ran off. The other one fell into the cauldron.’
They looked back at the skeleton. Dad shrugged.
‘We’ll never know who it is. Skeletons all look alike. A skull and a bunch of bones.’ He shook his head and sighed. ‘There’s nothing we can do about it. But I’ve suddenly had a very good idea.’
‘Really?’ Tim said. ‘What?’
Dad smiled. ‘Shall we leave this awful building and go to our own, lovely house? For coffee and lemonade. And some nice, bloody steaks for the carnivores.’
‘Grrr, yummy,’ growled Leo.
46
All’s Well?
They were sitting at home in the living room smacking their lips and sniffing and growling. Leo burped loudly.
‘Urp. That was a yummilicious slabber of meat, Mumsy.’
Grandpa Werewolf licked his fangs and burped his agreement. Alfie and Noura had tucked in too. They licked the big plate clean, gave two quiet little burps, looked at each other and griggled. Dad looked sadly at the slice of cake on his plate.
‘If only I was a werewolf as well. Then I could eat a raw steak too. That’s a lot cooler than a wimpy slice of cake.’
Alfie and Noura griggled again. Werewolves can’t giggle the ordinary way.
‘Don’t moan, dear,’ Mum said. ‘I like you just the way you are. Not everyone can be a werewolf.’
Grandpa Werewolf nodded. ‘Exactly. You can only become a werewolf if you get bitten. By a werewolf, I mean.’
Dad nodded. ‘I know. What I was wondering …’
Grandpa Werewolf shook his head. ‘Forget it. I’m not going to bite you.’
‘That’s not what I mean,’ Dad said. He looked at Leo and Grandpa Werewolf.
‘How were Cheeker and Choker able to catch you? You’re big, strong werewolves and they’re bony old pensioners. How did they do it?’
‘Spray cans,’ growled Grandpa Werewolf. ‘Spray cans with silver dust. One of those grannies jumped out at me from behind a bush with a spray can in her hand and let me have it right in the face with a blast of silver dust. No werewolf alive could stand up to that.’
‘Exacticiously,’ shouted Leo. ‘Those oldies sprayed Leo downside up in Werewolf Wood with their can sprays.’
‘Me too,’ Noura exclaimed. ‘At that phoney party of Luke’s. The two grannies suddenly leapt out of a cupboard. Luke held me tight while they sprayed the living daylights out of me. I blacked out completely and wasn’t aware of a thing until I opened my eyes again. And there was … Alfie. My hero.’
A happy smile appeared on Noura’s muzzle and Alfie’s white fur turned a little bit pink.
‘Wrow, Mum was the hero. She saved everyone with her broom.’
‘That’s right!’ Dad cried. ‘Let’s all drink a toast to my courageous broom-fighting wife.’
‘Yahoo!’ yelled Leo.
Alfie didn’t say anything. He was staring at Leo. There was something strange about him, but Alfie had only just noticed. His cousin was wearing a collar around his neck. A collar that looked familiar.
‘Wrow, Leo,’ he growled. ‘Where’d you get that collar?’
Leo bared his fangs in a big growly grin. ‘From that black cauldron. It was floatsing in between all those snappy fishies. Leo only needs to eat up one fishy. Then they let him take it out easily-peasily.’
Alfie looked at Noura and then at Grandpa Werewolf. He sighed. ‘Wrow. That means the skeleton in the cauldron isn’t Mrs Chalker. It’s Luke. It must be.’ Alfie swallowed. ‘Whoops, I remember something.’
He hesitated for a moment. ‘I bit Mrs Chalker. In her calf.’
‘Yuck!’ growled Noura.
Alfie nodded. ‘Disgusting. Just like biting into a piece of manky old leather. But seeing as I—’
Suddenly they heard a wolf howling in the distance. Grandpa Werewolf growled in shock.
‘That … that’s her …’
‘Wrow,’ growled Alfie. ‘What a punishment. She hates werewolves and now she’s turned into one. Because I bit her.’
‘What?’ Dad exclaimed. ‘Mrs Chalker? Her and not me! That’s not fair.’
‘Sweetheart, stop going on about it,’ Mum said.
Alfie walked over to the window and opened it. A thin cloud slid past the full moon. Again, a werewolf howled in the distance. It was a yowling, mournful cry. Alfie looked at Noura.
‘Wrow, she must be so lonely now. I know how I felt at first.’
Noura nodded. ‘But you had a loving family and good friends. She doesn’t have any of that.’
‘And it’s her own fault,’ Mum said. ‘Come on, we’ve got something to celebrate.’ She closed the window.
‘Party time!’ shouted Dad, who’d grabbed his accordion. ‘I’ve got a new song,’ he said and started singing at the top of his voice.
Fun, fun, fun for all,
Werewolf party time …’
Alfie shook his head with surprise. ‘Wait a minute … I know that tune. That’s the R.O.W. Club song.’
Dad winked. ‘Not any more, Alfie. The R.O.W. Club no longer exists. Now it’s the Werewolf Club song. Our song!’ He struck up the tune again, and this time everybody sang along.
‘Fun, fun, fun for all,
In our party room,
We’re the heroes of this song,
Especially Mrs Broom!’
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Alfie the Werewolf 5: The Evil Triplets Page 8