Honor Roll

by Collins, Kelly

  Tuesday night had me sweating in my loafers. I showed up at Meredith’s house, not knowing what to expect. She was just a job before, but now she was more. She wanted me to guide her into sex. I wasn’t a therapist; I was a gigolo.

  I felt like I was sixteen again in the basement of my house, getting my first feel of Darla Darian’s boobs, except this time there was no excitement. I was terrified. Tonight had nothing to do with sex, but everything to do with compassion. I wasn’t sure I had what it would take to get me through this evening, or what Meredith would need to get her through her crisis.

  I poured us both a glass of wine, unusual for me. We sipped our drinks and talked for a few minutes before Meredith led me to her room.

  On the nightstand, I spied a candle, which I lit to help with the ambiance. Maybe making the evening more of a date than a clinical trial would help things. Nope, a date was the wrong thought; the only person I dated was Mim.

  “Do you want me to stay mostly dressed?” I needed some guidance, too. Did she want the full body on body routine, or just me taking her through the motions?

  “Treat me like you’d treat a woman you wish to make love to.”

  The need in her voice twisted my heart. The guilt I felt warped my gut. Here I was getting ready to fulfill the need of a woman I didn’t love, when the needs of the one I did went unmet.

  My mouth was dry, and my hands began to sweat. I’d brought this woman to orgasm more times than I could count, and now I was nervous? I chastised myself silently and started to peel off her clothes like I had many times before. She lay naked in the glow of the candlelight.

  I pulled my jacket off first and followed it with my shirt. Standing in my trousers, I toed off my shoes and pulled my socks free. This was as bare as I’d ever been with Meredith.

  “You are a handsome man, Luca. Someday, some woman is going to be so lucky. Tonight, it’s going to be me.”

  The pressure was on. I unbuckled my belt and let my pants drop. I wasn’t hard; in fact, I wasn’t sure I could get hard, but I’d do my best to make Meredith happy.

  Up her body, I slid. Her heart raced; I could see it in the pulse of the vein I licked at her neck. I ran my tongue down across her shoulder blades and lowered my attention to her breasts. Still, in my black underwear, I kneeled between her legs and worshiped her body the best way I knew how. I was methodical, going for the erogenous zones first—her ears, her neck, her breasts. I slid to the floor and ran my tongue from her ankles to the inside of her thighs. I could smell her arousal. It wasn’t the scent that turned me on, but this wasn’t about me. I pulled the rubber barrier from her drawer and placed it on her sex. With heated swipes, I worked her into a passionate frenzy, and when I stroked her with a single finger, she stiffened.

  “Relax, Meredith. You hold all the power. All you have to do is say no or stop.” I dipped my head down and continued to bring her pleasure while slowly pressing my first finger into her hot sex.

  I knew she had relaxed when her legs lost their tension and fell to the sides. That’s when I slid the second finger inside. She paused briefly, but her passion didn’t dim.

  “Shit, Luca. That feels incredible.” She panted and squirmed beneath me. “I want more.”

  I had hoped I could fulfill her wish with my tongue and fingers, but Meredith had her mind set on the real deal. “Are you sure? Maybe we should go slow.” I hoped she would change her mind.

  “Shut up. I’m forty-four years old, and I’ve had sex twice. I have a lot of catching up to do.” She rocked her hips toward me. “I feel safe with you.”

  I reached into my pants and stroked myself until I became hard. Not stone hard, but usable hard. I stood up and pulled off my underwear. She watched every move I made. After reaching for the condom, I asked if she wanted to put it on or have me do it. She looked appalled, so I took that as a no.

  I climbed between her thighs and lined myself up. “Are you sure?” I asked again. She nodded.

  I pressed gently into her. A fraction of an inch was all I dared. She scrunched her eyes closed.

  “It’s Luca, not anyone else. You know me. You know I’d never hurt you.” An inch more, and I heard her gasp. “This is us, Meredith, giving pleasure to one another, like you wanted.” I pressed deeper, and she shook. “I can pull out. Nothing says we have to continue.” I leaned in and kissed her neck, and when I got to her ear, I said, “You control me.”

  She breathed in and out rapidly. I braced myself over her and began to slide out of her.

  “Don’t you dare. If I don’t go through with this, I’ll die a sexless spinster.” She gripped my hips and stopped me from retreating. “Please, Luca, make me feel something other than fear.”

  “What are you feeling now?” I sank into her inch by inch until I was fully seated.

  “Full.”

  “Are you in pain?”

  “Yes, but not how you’d think. I hurt because I gave up something as beautiful as this because someone was so ugly to me.” Tears ran down her cheeks.

  “Move with me, sex is a team sport.”

  I slid in and out of her slowly. I watched her face for any indication she wanted me to stop, but her eyes never showed another glimpse of doubt. They glowed with years of pent-up passion. Her hips rocked with mine. Her moans built into a crescendo until her body shook, and her voice whispered incoherent words. I could feel her pulse around me in wave after wave of untethered passion, and for the first time in my life, I faked an orgasm. I wasn’t interested in my own release. I had given her what she needed, and my job was done.

  Chapter 12

  The next few weeks passed like a bullet train. I counted the time by Sundays with Mim and Wednesdays with Judith.

  I approached the table at Leland’s Steakhouse with a bit of trepidation. Tonight, Mim and I were dining with her parents. In any other circumstance I would have been fine eating with the parents, but given Marcus Knight’s dislike for me, I was nervous.

  Mim jumped up from the booth and threw her arms around my neck. She had no inhibitions. Even with her father present, she was getting her kiss. She pressed her lips to mine and tried to get me to deepen the kiss by opening her mouth and offering the sweetness of her tongue, but I pulled back after a quick kiss and helped her back into the booth. I was like salt on Marcus’ open wound, and any display of affection beyond a kiss wouldn’t have been right.

  “Good evening, Mr. Knight—Mrs. Knight.” I looked at both parents and smiled. “Thanks for inviting me to dinner.” Mrs. Knight smiled, while her husband grumbled under his breath.

  “Luca, it’s so lovely to be able to spend some quality time with you,” Mim’s mom said.

  I slid into the booth next to Mim and placed my palm on her thigh. “Yes, it will be nice to get to know you better.” I looked directly at Mim’s father. “To have you know me better.” I wanted Marcus to know me. He had a preconceived notion of who I was by what I did.

  We ordered a bottle of wine with dinner and enjoyed light conversation. Several times during the meal, Mim would take my hand and force it farther up her thigh. When I could finally make love to her, she was going to pay for all the times she’d teased me. I leaned in and whispered in her ear, “Behave.” She giggled and continued to talk while she changed her tactic and rubbed her hand up my thigh to my hardening length.

  Damn her.

  “Tell me, Luca,” Georgina Knight said, “do you attend church?” She hugged her husband’s arm and leaned her head against his shoulder. I could picture Mim and me in the same position thirty years from now. Mim was everything I would ever want.

  “Mum,” Mim piped in, “he’s basically an altar boy.”

  I choked on my wine. “I’m not an altar boy, but I was raised Catholic—although, in all honesty, I haven’t made much time for church lately.” I looked at Marcus, and he seemed pleased. Maybe knowing his daughter thought I was an altar boy pleased him. “I’ve been talking to a local priest, and he’s doing his best to coax me back to
his flock.”

  “Mim says you have a few weeks of school left, and I was thinking that having a quiet place to contemplate one’s life would be a good thing.”

  Marcus white-knuckled the edge of the table.

  “I’ll keep that in mind. The next few weeks will be stressful.” I glared at Marcus. “I will be wrapping up things at my current job. They only hire college students, so I have to move on. I’m hoping to land a few interviews. Life will be busy for a bit.”

  “Mim says you work at a concierge service. What’s that like?” She leaned forward and tuned into my every word. It was obvious her husband hadn’t shared my real profession, and for that I was grateful. I hoped it showed in the look of gratitude I shot Marcus.

  “It’s different all the time. My job is to give the clients what they want.” I lowered my eyes, not wanting to see the disgust in Marcus’.

  “That sounds interesting,” Georgina said.

  “It can be.”

  Nothing else was said on the subject. We ate our dinners and shared desserts. When the bill came, I tried to pay, but Marcus insisted he pay, saying I would need every dollar I earned. After we’d helped the women into their jackets, Marcus tugged me to the side.

  “In spite of what you do, I believe you are a good man, Luca. Prove me right.” He thumped me on my back the way a father would. Somehow, I might have earned a little respect from Mim’s dad.

  “Let’s go to your place. You have proper tea, right?” Mim asked.

  She knew I did. I’d purchased every brand of English tea I could find. Turns out, PG Tips was her favorite. She loved those with Walkers shortbread cookies. If anyone looked in my pantry, they would assume an English chap lived there. I had Hobnobs, and Cadbury, Jammie Dodgers, and Jaffa cakes. I bought anything I thought would make Mim happy.

  Once in my apartment, she pulled me into the bedroom. “Luca Gregorio, you are going to have sex with me. I’ve never waited so long with anyone.” She walked to the bed and began to strip. God, she was beautiful. I wanted her so much, but I couldn’t have her. Not yet. “You’re starting to make me think you’re a virgin, but I’m willing to pop your cherry.”

  I shouldn’t have laughed, but the thought of her popping my cherry was hysterical. By the time I calmed down, she was naked but not happy with me, and all I wanted to do was please her. She made me want to be a better man.

  Her beauty stunned me. I’d felt her breasts and cupped her ass a few times, but I’d never seen her stripped and standing gloriously nude before me. The sight of her willingly gifting herself to me sucked the air from the room. I felt dizzy. I felt drunk. I felt completely in love.

  “Come to bed, Luca.” Her voice was like the purr of a cat, soft and sensuous. “Please.”

  “Mim, I can’t.” I stared at her loveliness, and my heart ached.

  She stared at the outline straining against my pants. “You can. I can see that you can.”

  My resistance was fading. My mouth was watering. My need was too great. I walked toward her and fell to my knees. Anyone that beautiful should be revered. I argued, telling myself I couldn’t, but I knew I would. My internal turmoil was too great. I bargained with myself. I could touch her, but not have her. I could taste her, but not press myself inside of her, I could . . . I could . . . I couldn’t.

  I kissed her stomach and ran my tongue from hip to hip. I cupped her bottom and pulled her close. The feel of her body in my hands was heaven. I’d touched many women, but I was touching Mim with my heart. Every caress came from a place deep inside—a place that loved her beyond everything.

  She angled herself toward the bed and fell onto the mattress. It was too much temptation not to follow. I explored her body, starting at her feet. She had perfect toes, all painted pink. Her smooth legs flexed under my hands as I traveled upwards. Her thighs fell apart to allow me access. I buried my face between her legs and inhaled her scent. It was heaven. I followed the finely trimmed patch to her sweet spot and slid my tongue along her crease. She moaned and pulled at my hair. I climbed up her body and lingered at her breasts. Her hardened nipples reached for my mouth, their pink buds screaming for attention. I pulled one against the heat of my tongue and sucked, rolling it between my lips before I relinquished it.

  She rose from the bed. “God, Luca, what’s taken you so long?” Her hands frantically reached for the buttons of my shirt. She tore at the material until it pulled free.

  I shrugged out of it and pressed my naked chest against hers. Every fiber of my being ignited. She tugged at my pants, but I pulled her arms over her head and pinned them there. I had to get control of this situation. If I didn’t, I’d never be able to look at her again.

  “Mim, look at me.” She opened her eyes, and I swear her oceans of blue swallowed me whole. I was drowning in lust and love. “I love you, Mim.” Once the words were out, I couldn’t stop them. “I love you more than you can imagine, and because I love you, I can’t have you just yet.”

  “No, God, Luca, look at me, I’m throwing myself at you. Don’t leave me like this.” She buried her face in her hands and began to cry.

  “Baby, I’m not leaving. I’m never leaving.” I pulled her hands from her face and covered her mouth with mine. It broke my heart that I couldn’t give her everything she wanted, but I could give her something. I lay next to her and told her how much I loved her. Then I made love to her with my mouth. I covered her breasts one at a time and pulled the taut peaks across my heated tongue.

  When I slipped my hand between her legs, she sighed. It was the sweetest sound. I hadn’t brought her to orgasm, but her sound of satisfaction drove me forward. She was wet, and I was so damn hard for her, I hurt. It would be so easy to drop my pants and find equal satisfaction between her thighs, but I owed her all of me, and I couldn’t give her that if I were sharing that part of myself with others. She deserved nothing less than everything.

  She groaned when I slid a finger into her heat. She began grinding her hips into my hand when I followed with the second. Her breath hitched, and she tensed. The minute I thumbed her tight little button, her hips rose from the bed and I felt her insides pulse against my fingers. I caressed her down from the high and pulled her naked body into my arms.

  “I love you, Luca.” Those words harnessed my heart so tightly, I thought I’d die. She loved me. Her breathing slowed to an even pace, and minutes later she was asleep.

  I slowly pulled myself away from her and covered her with my comforter. She was so beautiful lying in my bed, and I wanted her there always.

  Chapter 13

  The ringing of my phone woke me. The clock on the nightstand read six-thirty.

  Who in the hell called at six thirty?

  Mim stretched like a cat next to me while I answered the phone.

  “Hello.” When her arms stretched above her head, I leaned down and pulled her nipple into my mouth. She let out a hum that made me instantly hard.

  The voice on the other end interrupting my first sleepover was my mom. Mim’s nipple popped from my mouth. “What? You’re where? Shit.” I leaped from the bed and gathered Mim’s clothes. With my hand over the receiver, I said, “Get dressed.”

  “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you. I’ll be right down.” I hung up the phone and let out a string of expletives that would make anyone blush.

  “What’s wrong?” Mim pulled on her dress and searched for her underwear, which were at the foot of the bed. “Who’s here?” She slipped her legs into her panties and shimmied them up.

  “My parents.” I dragged my hand through my hair.

  “Is it a problem that I’m here?” She sounded hurt.

  I stopped and pulled her into my arms. “No, I just thought you might want to be dressed.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Time to meet the parents, and Mim, I meant what I said last night.” I hopped on one foot to pull my socks and shoes on. “I love you.”

  I ran from the apartment and down the stairs. Why my parents decided to show up unannounced I
had no idea.

  When I reached the door, my father stood next to my mom with a stoic expression glued to his face. Mom was standing on the sidewalk with a small suitcase and a big smile.

  “Surprise.” Mom dropped her bag and closed her arms around me. A few minutes later, she was pinching my cheek and telling me how she needed to see her son.

  “You could have called.” I thought about Mim upstairs and wondered what my parents’ reaction would be. They were devout Catholics, and premarital anything was taboo. “I’m not alone,” I said as we reached the third floor. “Mim is here.” Ever since I’d told Mom about Mim, she’d asked enough questions to satisfy a security clearance.

  “Luca, you’re not sleeping with her, are you?” How did my parents stay in the Dark Ages while the world rushed forward?

  “Mom, it’s the twenty-first century. People sleep together. Mim and I slept together, but we haven’t had sex.” Dad gave me a don’t-lie-to-your-mom look. “She fell asleep, and I let her sleep.”

  Mom pulled her hands to her ears. “I don’t want details.” She proceeded to make la la la sounds until I opened the door.

  Mim was in the kitchen, making tea for her and coffee for me. I tried to give her an I’m sorry look, but I’m not sure she got it. She walked over to my mom and hugged her, and within minutes they were talking like they’d known each other forever.

  “Son, how are you?” Dad walked out of the kitchen, where Mom was peppering Mim with questions.

  “I’m good, Dad, what about you?” We’d shared under a dozen words, and I was pretty sure that would be the extent of our conversation while he was here. He wasn’t much of a talker.

  “Fine.” He sat on the couch and stared at the blank television.

  I picked up the remote and turned on the news. When I was sure he was sufficiently entertained, I sought out the two women I loved the most. They were sitting at the small table in the kitchen, sipping tea.