Fly, Butterfly

by Annicken R. Day

  “Yes, Lani, please,” another voice chimed in.

  Soon all the children were clapping their hands shouting, “Legend, legend, legend!”

  I had no idea what legend they were talking about, but I joined the children clapping hands and shouting, “Legend, legend.”

  “OK, OK.” Lani laughed and winked at me.

  It was slowly getting dark, and the orange flames were lighting up the little faces sitting quietly and looking at Lani with great anticipation. For a little while, the only sounds were the crackles of the fire and the waves hitting the shore.

  Noah, the little boy with the big glasses and dark curls, carefully sat down beside me. He looked up at me with a shy smile, and when Lani started talking, his little hand found mine and held on to it tightly.

  “Once upon a time, there was a land called Mu,” Lani began.

  The light from the fire lit up her face, and she looked at the children as she spoke.

  “Mu was called the Motherland of Man and Paradise on Earth, as the people living there were happy, loving, playful, and friendly. They knew not of war, since no one wanted to fight.

  “They knew not of hunger, since nature abundantly supplied them with the sweetest of fruits and anything else they could desire. They knew not of jealousy or hate, since all they could feel was love. And they knew not of sadness or grief, as whenever they lost someone they loved, they just passed over to another dimension, their energies and love still alive and present with their loved ones.”

  Noah squeezed my hand. There was something very special about this shy little boy. I wanted to put my arms around him and hug him. Instead, I just carefully squeezed his little hand back.

  “Then one day, tragedy hit. The land, once known as paradise on earth, started shaking, the ground ripped open, and gigantic waves caused the entire continent of Mu to sink deep down into the ocean. Only the highest mountaintops remained over the ocean, creating the islands we today know as Hawaii. Only the people who had lived on the hilltops of Mu survived. They called themselves the Children of the Rainbow and continued living lives of love, joy, and play, with people of all colors considered equals, alongside animals and Mother Earth.”

  I looked at the children sitting around the bonfire. They were all staring at Lani with big eyes, captivated by the story.

  “There were no kings or rulers,” Lani continued, “and no one controlled anyone else. Instead, all were connected, respected, and loved by their ohanas—their families—and the elders, bringing the wisdom of life, nature, and the universe to the young ones, guiding them and teaching them about the beauty of life. The children’s favorite playground was the rainbow, which transported them to other places and dimensions. They could travel back and forth in time, and there were no limits to what the children could do, because they knew of no limitations. No one had ever told them things could not be done; therefore they could do them.”

  “Wow! Imagine!” a little girl with red curls shouted and clapped her hands.

  Lani smiled at the little girl, then continued gravely, “Then one night, ships filled with guns and men of hate and greed invaded the Land of the Rainbow.”

  The little faces around the bonfire looked worried, and the little red-haired girl covered her ears with her hands. She seemed to know what came next.

  Lani continued: “The Children of the Rainbow greeted the men as friends, but most of them were captured, and many were killed by the evil men. Of those who weren’t killed, many died of sickness and diseases that were brought into the land of beauty and innocence.”

  Little Noah huddled closer. I could tell he didn’t like this part of the legend. I carefully put my arm around him, and he leaned on me, seeking comfort in my embrace.

  “However, a few people hid away on mountaintops and in caves. And one night, the wisest of them, represented by people of every color, came together on a beach, like this. The women and men who sat around the campfire listened to the gods and read in the stars that the age of the Rainbow Children was coming to an end. Their last deed as humans on this earth was to travel to every corner of the world to spread the wisdom of love and to speak the voice of Mother Earth and tell her stories.”

  The children listened with big round eyes.

  “The stories they told were about the universe’s plan to restore love and happiness on earth when humanity was ready and had learned what it needed to learn. The men and women called themselves Rainbow Travelers, as they used the rainbow to take them to other worlds and dimensions, but also to move to faraway lands that would have taken years to travel to by ship.”

  Lani paused, and everyone was quiet, waiting for her to continue.

  “Today, the descendants of the Children of the Rainbow can be found in all four corners of the world. They are the so-called indigenous people, the people of wisdom, who had to suffer for their wisdom as the evil people have greatly outnumbered them.”

  All the children’s eyes were on Lani. Some of them were holding hands. A black girl with braids was holding her arms around a little blond-haired boy. An Asian boy was holding hands with a little red-haired boy on his left side and on his right side, a girl with brown hair, freckles, and a yellow dress was leaning toward his shoulder. Liat and some of the other children were sitting with their legs crossed, leaning their little chins in their hands, looking at Lani, hanging on to every word she said. Little Noah was still leaning on me as I kept my arm around his shoulder and his tiny hand in mine.

  We were all entranced with the legend.

  “And now, as we are entering a new age of wisdom, when evil will be fought with love, and harmony restored between nature and all people, the Children of the Rainbow are back on the earth plane, to show the world what happiness and love look like. And while their descendants are spread all over the world, Hawaii continues to be the home of their souls and the place where the Rainbow Children can always restore and recharge for their important mission in life.”

  Finally, she said, “Dear Children of the Rainbow, change starts with you and me. With happy thoughts and good deeds, we are making a difference. Let’s make this world a happy place.”

  After she ended her story, the children remained quiet. Only the sound of wood burning and waves hitting the shore broke the silence. In the distance, parents stood by their cars, waiting to pick up their children.

  Lani looked up, saw the parents, and realized it was time to wrap up.

  “OK, dear ones, thank you all for coming today. We’ll see each other again next month. Let’s end today’s fire chat the way we always end it.” She picked up her guitar again and all the children, with their light voices, sang “Happy Talk” from South Pacific. Never had the song sounded lovelier.

  When the singing finished, all the children got up and gave Lani a hug before they ran toward their parents—everyone but Liat and little Noah, who was still sitting quietly, looking down on the sand, firmly holding on to my hand. He seemed to know that no one was picking him up.

  After she had waved all the other children goodbye, Lani said tenderly, “Do you want to come with us, Noah?” She took the little boy’s hand.

  He nodded and stood up, still looking down. Lani sat down on her knees and took his little face in her hands.

  “Noah, please look at me,” she said with a warm voice.

  He lifted his head and looked into Lani’s loving eyes, tears welling in his eyes.

  “Noah, sometimes when your mom is not feeling well, she forgets things. It has nothing to do with you. I promise. She loves you very much. And Liat and I love you very much, too.” She gave the little boy a hug and kissed him on the cheek.

  “Now, let’s go find out how she is doing, and if she isn’t feeling well, you can stay with us tonight. OK?”

  Noah nodded, and as he did, it felt like something burst inside of me. I turned away so he wouldn’t see it. But Lani noticed. She squeezed my arm.

  “We’ll speak soon,” she whispered.

  I watched
the three of them walking toward Lani’s car, little Noah in the middle, holding hands with Lani on one side and Liat on the other.

  Not until I saw them drive away did I allow myself to cry.

  It was as if I could feel what the little boy felt, and it nearly broke my heart.

  FINDING THE DREAM

  One week after the fireside chat with the children, Lani and I met for a morning coffee in Hanalei. William and I had bumped into her a few days earlier at the farmers market. When William and George had insisted that I should join them for another dinner before William went to San Francisco for a few days, I offered to buy the ingredients. And since William was going to cook, he insisted on coming along. It had turned out to be a highly memorable shopping experience.

  William knew almost everyone there. He talked and joked around with the farmers and their children, juggled coconuts so well that people around him started applauding, and then invited me to dance on the muddy lawn when two local musicians started playing their ukuleles.

  Back at the house, William demonstrated his excellent cooking skills by turning a bag of vegetables, bread, and olive oil into one of the best meals I’d ever had. I chopped vegetables and George sat in his favorite chair and watched us while enjoying a glass of his favorite wine. He didn’t seem to be able to stop smiling.

  After our island tour there had been nothing but friend vibes between William and me. Things had been very relaxed and comfortable, there had been no more “moments,” and I had accepted—and was totally fine with the fact—that William and I would never be more than friends.

  I knew it was all for the best. After all, anything else would have been way too complicated. And scary.

  The coffee house where I met Lani was a small white cottage with a little porch surrounding it, packed with people chatting and enjoying their morning coffee. Right outside on the lawn, tourists and locals were lounging and drinking coffee. Some were enjoying freshly baked goods served in colorful paper bags.

  A few children were chasing each other around, and some young men with long shorts and colorful caps were lying on the grass discussing the early-morning waves. It was as different from a regular New York coffee shop as you could possibly get.

  I thanked Lani for inviting me to the Children of the Rainbow fireside chat and told her what a special experience it had been for me. The legend had really gotten to me, and I asked whether she had invented it herself. It reminded me of something my mom would do when she made up fairy tales to tell me on the fly.

  Lani laughed. “I wish I had enough imagination to come up with something as extraordinary as that, but no. My grandma told it to me, her grandma told it to her, and so on.”

  I was even more intrigued.

  “It is one of the many legends that has been shared at fireside chats for thousands of years, the way wisdom is passed on from generation to generation,” she said.

  “But what feels extra special is that the distant future all the generations have been talking about is now. Rainbow Children are being born on this planet, millions of them all over the world. Their mission is to make this world a more kind, tolerant, and happy place and help heal Mother Earth, who is being abused and exploited by the people driven by greed and power.”

  I sighed. “It sure is needed.”

  I nodded toward the front page of a newspaper someone had left on the lawn. “It looks like the world has gone off its rails lately.”

  Lani smiled.

  “Sometimes, things need to get worse before they get better,” she said. “There is a global awakening right now that is way too positive to make it into the news.”

  Lani’s optimistic view of the world gave me hope. In fact, just knowing that she was in it made me believe that a better world was possible.

  I asked Lani about Noah. I hadn’t been able to get the little boy out of my mind—the way he had smiled up at me when he took my hand and the despairing look on his face when he knew no one was picking him up.

  Lani told me that Noah’s mom at times struggled with taking care of both Noah and herself and that some days, she would just lie in bed with empty eyes and see no point of getting up.

  No one knew who Noah’s father was, so this seven-year-old boy was left to take care of his mother whenever she was having an episode. Lani said she checked in on them as often as she could and made sure there was always food in the house; she also helped clean when his mother wasn’t feeling well.

  Occasionally she took Noah home with her, but mostly he wanted to be with his mother. He was worried that if he went away, she would be even sadder.

  “Poor little child,” I said, my heart aching for him.

  Lani nodded. “Yes. There has been talk about foster care for him, but as long as she has more good days than bad, she is allowed to keep him. And Noah knows he can always count on me, should his mother get really sick.”

  I shook my head and looked at her.

  “How are you able to give so much to so many?” I asked. Lani didn’t seem to have an egocentric bone in her body. Everything she did seemed to be serving some greater cause, making a difference in someone’s life and bringing love and care to those who needed it. And as if she didn’t do enough already, her friend Jesse had told me that Lani had established the Rainbow Children Foundation, primarily financed by herself, plus donations from friends and family, which provided monetary support to families struggling to make ends meet. I knew Noah and his mother were one of the families the foundation helped.

  “I just do what I feel is the right thing to do,” Lani replied to my question. “Liat and I are privileged. We have love in our lives, a roof over our heads, and constant access to fruits and vegetables from my parents’ farm. We don’t need a lot. After all, we live in paradise.” She smiled. “To me, it feels much better to help others than to spend money on things I really don’t need. I don’t see it as a sacrifice. I do it because I want to; I do it because I can.”

  She leaned on her elbows and smiled at me. “Besides, my dad always said that the love you give, you get back. Multiplied. And I know that to be true.”

  Lani’s dad certainly sounded very different from mine.

  I lay back in the grass and stared up at the sky. I thought about how little time I had spent doing good for others. My focus had always been me, me, me. My job, my achievements, my goals, my promotions, my career, my success. Even before I finished asking myself the question of why I had become so self-absorbed and narrow-minded, I kind of knew the answer. It was the way I had been trained to think. It was the norm of our society and the design of our systems. Me, mine, and myself. Eat or be eaten. The winner takes it all. But I didn’t want to be like that any longer. It didn’t feel right. It wasn’t me anymore.

  I shared my frustration with Lani. “I wish I had met you sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t have wasted the last fifteen years of my life doing meaningless crap.” I tried to say it jokingly, but it was way too close to the truth to be funny.

  Lani smiled as she lay back on the grass beside me.

  “Maya, I’ve come to believe that everything we do, everything we experience, and everything we learn happens to us so we can use it for something meaningful. There’s no point in beating yourself up for what you didn’t know when you didn’t know it.”

  We were both silent for a while, then Lani turned toward me and asked, “So what do you want, Maya?”

  Her question threw me off guard. My mind started spinning. What do I want? That was a question I’d never really asked myself. I had always focused more on what was the “right” thing to do and what others expected of me instead of what I wanted. Whatever that was …

  My lack of a meaningful response frustrated me.

  When Lani noticed the pained expression in my face, she took my hand and asked me to sit up in the grass with her. “Let’s do a little exercise,” she said.

  She asked me to sit cross-legged facing her. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t look as weird as it feels,” she said.
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  I looked around to see if anyone was staring at us, but no one seemed to notice. This was Kaua’i.

  “Now, close your eyes,” she said.

  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

  “Good. Now see yourself at the bottom of a hill. It’s a beautiful hill—green and lush, but very steep.”

  I was surprised at how easily I could see it.

  “At the bottom of the hill there are plenty of things to do, things that will keep you busy and comfortable and give you what you need.”

  I nodded. I could see that, too. I saw my apartment, a job similar to the one I had, and my daily routines.

  “Know you are always welcome to stay here,” Lani said. “You can just continue doing things the way you used to, and life will continue exactly as it was.”

  My heart started beating faster. I could feel the stress building in my chest, the pain in my neck, the fear in my mind. My mouth dried out.

  “No!” I whispered. “I don’t want that.”

  “Deep breaths,” Lani said. “Good. Then we have established what you don’t want.”

  I nodded slowly.

  “But know this: deciding not to stay means you are willing to climb.”

  I sighed. “I knew there was a catch.”

  Lani chuckled, then said, “OK, start walking up the hill. It’s not going to be easy. You’ve never been here before. It will at times be fun and exciting, and other times you will feel insecure and lost. There will be hurdles and there will be challenges. People will try to stop you, and there will be times when you try to stop yourself. Are you ready to face these challenges and keep going?”

  I nodded. “I am.”

  “OK,” Lani said. “Now let’s have a look to see what is on top of that hill. What do you want so much that you are willing to climb and do whatever it takes to get there?”

  I took a deep breath. Something was growing in my chest.

  “Now, for a brief moment, I’ll give you a pair of wings. I just want you to fly up and see what is waiting for you on top of the hill.”

  I took another deep breath. “OK.”