Okay Fine Whatever
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To Allison Picard for building me up (along with every other person in her life).
To Shelly Caldwell for being unendingly generous and patient and the best housemate in the history of the world.
To the girls, Marie Murphy, Shelley McLendon, and Erin O’Regan, for always supporting me and still being my friends even when I disappeared for months at a time and then showed up only to whine and eat a lot of your cheese.
Tips on escaping a car trunk are courtesy of Chelsea Cain, who is always there with helpful advice and a bottle of something.
To members of my various writers’ groups: Cynthia Whitcomb, Marc Acito, Daniel Wilson, Scott Poole, Stacy Bolt, Ryan White, Rachel Bachmann, and Storm Large.
To Tobey and Teri Fitch, who offered me their house on Vashon, their faith, and an ongoing series of perfectly cooked meats.
To Fiona McCann (who gave me the gift of a reason to write every week), Byron Beck, Zach Dundas, and Cornelius Swart.
To some extraordinary writer friends who helped me imagine this was possible: Cheryl Strayed, Karen Karbo, Mike Sacks, Kathleen Lane, and Lidia Yuknavitch.
To Jason Rouse, Sean McGrath, and Andrew Harris for being effortlessly funny every day.
To Robyn Tenenbaum, Jim Brunberg, and Kate Sokoloff at Live Wire! for their patience and faith in me.
To Luke Burbank and Ophira Eisenberg for being so forthcoming, and to Todd Schultz for being so smart.
To my readers Jamie and Phil Incorvia, Dr. Jessica Duffett, Courtenay Rudzinski, Kari Fiori, and Julie Livingston, whom I would highly recommend as a book editor if that was what she wanted to be, which she doesn’t, so don’t even ask.
To Stephan Cassell for his marketing brains and Nick Wichman and Karen Wippich for their generosity and talent.
To every man I dated during that insane year: You were so sweet. Most of you. Except that one guy. What was up with him?
To Jake Shivery for being essentially responsible for my career as an essayist. Sorry about that.
To Jennifer Blinder and the whole Byrd family and the circus tent of extraordinary people who come with them.
To my whole extended family, but especially Bob and Sandi Hameister and Cheri and John Michael, who have always supported my creative endeavors.
And to Scott Charters for loving me, for fixing my driver’s-side mirror, for not making more incontinence jokes than you did, for doing sex with me a lot, and for being such a good character in my book. I love you. And it’s not just because you’re tall. But that’s part of it.
About the Author
Courtenay Hameister is a professional nervous person. During her twelve years as host and head writer for Live Wire!, a nationally syndicated public radio show, she interviewed more than five hundred intimidating people and wrote two hundred personal essays in bursts of anxiety-fueled inspiration the night before each show. Her work has also been featured in McSweeney’s, APM’s Marketplace, More, and some scathing e-mails to the customer-service department at Macy’s.
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