by Trumbo, Kari
“And many days in between.” He laughed, then hit her with that smile again. “I guess I can let you off with just half. I’ll be here tomorrow to pick you up for practice. We’ll work hard tomorrow, but be ready soon to have some fun.”
It would be almost like dating, something she’d never thought she’d experience with Duncan and hadn’t really wanted to do with anyone else. “What should I prepare for?” She wondered which number he’d pick first. Would he do them in order, or pick at random?
“I’m not telling.” His eyes twinkled at her and his goofy grin was a mile wide. “I’m excited about this. More than I’ve been in a long time. Get some rest, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Easy for him to say. He wouldn’t lay there wondering what in the world she’d be doing over the weekend. But at least this crazy list of his would give her a chance to do things she’d never thought she’d be able to. And with Duncan, no less.
4
Duncan scanned his desk calendar in his office, which was in the east wing of the huge Cornerstone Church building. Three more Wednesdays and two more Sundays until the Christmas pageant. Even though participating in a church Christmas pageant and having someone look up to her were two different things, his goal was to make sure Isla saw that the birth of Jesus was more beautiful than just a momentary feeling of importance, and it was the best he could do on short notice. He had to turn her focus away from worldly recognition to something more meaningful and something that would last forever, not just in the moment. She was beautiful and talented, but a few years from now, a bit of recognition wouldn’t tell her she was worth anything. It would only represent a moment in time.
But, how to surprise her and get her there to do it? Pastor Paul stopped by his door and held up a hand in greeting. “Practicing tonight?”
“Yes, I have the songs all ready. I’m just not sure how to integrate Isla without making her feel like a child, and without taking a part away from the children.”
Paul leaned against the door frame. “My suggestion is still for you to have her sing a song.”
“Sing…” He hadn’t really considered it when Paul had first mentioned it. Isla wanted recognition and a song would do it. She had a beautiful voice, but would she do it without practicing first? “That’s a good idea. I’ll talk to the sound crew after class tonight and get it set up.”
Paul nodded and went on his way. Duncan had one hour before the students started to arrive. In that time, he had calls to make. Isla’s practice had gone long the day before and there had been no time left in the evening to do any preparation. Completing her list within such a short amount of time—on top of all his other obligations—would be difficult, but she was worth it. And once she saw her own worth, maybe she could start seeing herself as worthy of love. Like his.
He couldn’t wait any longer. He’d loved her for years, and watching her become more and more insecure and lonely broke him to pieces. But if his plan worked, their activities over the next two weeks would be like dates. Dates he’d been too afraid and concerned to ask her to join him for before now. He just had to set them up and make sure nothing embarrassing happened that might sour her feelings instead of turning her around.
He ripped off a sheet of notepaper and did a search for Buck Hill on his computer. It was in a suburb of the Twin Cities—Burnsville—and just happened to be the main reason he’d chosen Buca to meet her parents. It was a diversion.
He found the number and wrote it down. A trip to Minnehaha would be easy enough; he could do that without planning ahead. He did his best not to think about number five, but every time he looked back at his email, the word “kiss” jumped out at him like it was highlighted in red.
What would it be like to kiss Isla? They’d been friends for so long, there were only two possible outcomes, both equally terrifying. It would either be unnaturally strange because they were so close, or he would know immediately that she was meant for him. He just had to make sure he was careful. Isla had never mentioned she wanted to marry, and if he knew her as well as he was sure he did, she would think she didn’t deserve to be a bride, because she wasn’t normal. And he played for keeps. Youth pastors didn’t date for fun, they dated with an end goal in mind. In fact, he already had the ring in his desk, purchased months before when he’d started developing the bucket list plan. He just had to make sure Isla wanted what he did, because if she didn’t, that ring would be forever a reminder of what he’d lost.
His phone rang, startling him out of his kissy thoughts. He picked up the receiver. “Hello, Duncan Schmitz, Cornerstone Church. How may I help you?”
Isla’s laugh came through the line, relaxing him instantly. “Hey, Duncan. I was thinking I’d come down and see you after church tonight. Unless you have other plans?”
When did he ever have other plans? His life consisted of church and Isla, and he didn’t want it any other way. “I’ve got to help clean up a little bit after all the kids leave, but I’ll be around. I didn’t think you liked driving at night, and you never come on Wednesdays.”
Isla paused. He couldn’t even hear her breathing. “I don’t. I always worry that the brake mechanism in the steering wheel will go out and I’ll have an accident, but I guess there’s just as much danger of that happening in the day as there is in the night.”
“It’ll be good to see you on a Wednesday. I’m too busy on Sundays to talk much to you or your family.”
“Mama understands,” she said, putting him at ease. “And even though we’re meeting tomorrow, she wants you to come over for supper this Sunday evening. Like you used to in school. She misses mi gringo.”
Duncan squeezed the bridge of his nose and laughed at the old nickname. Isla’s mother was a wonderful woman, a bit on the short side, and though she had to be in her late forties, could easily pass for her late twenties. People often thought she and Isla were sisters.
“Well, as long as I’m her white boy,” he said, laughing. “I wouldn’t want to belong to anyone else.”
“Really?”
The question surprised him. Isla had never given him any hint that she might be interested; it was his biggest fear about the coming weeks. He’d prayed what he saw deep in her eyes were her true feelings, not her outward actions. She’d gone out of her way to make sure he knew that they were friends only and partners in her racing, nothing more. “Um, I don’t know. I was just joking around.” What else could he say? He had to make sure she saw him away from the track and as more than just a friend and coach before he admitted what he felt. If he did it in the wrong order, she might shut him out, too afraid to try a relationship for the same reasons he was.
“It was just a question, no need to worry. Since there’s no Spanish service on Wednesdays, I’ll come and give you moral support while you clean up afterward. I can’t do much jumping around, but I can cheer all the same.”
He’d never been all that attracted to cheerleaders anyway, and now he didn’t even have to set something up. He’d prayed long and hard before ever starting this plan and he knew it was the right thing to do. Even if Isla walked away from him, he’d help her move on from the rut she was in. That was the most important. “Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”
“Oh, Duncan?”
He waited, unsure of what she could ask. “Yes?”
“Thank you for the flowers. I woke up this morning smelling them and it reminded me of spring…and you…and it was nice.”
His stupid, goofy grin took over his face and he was powerless to stop it. “You’re welcome. I’m glad.”
“See you later.” He could hear her smile when she spoke. Mission accomplished.
“Later.”
* * *
Isla stared at the phone in her hand. She’d almost flirted with Duncan, and it had felt good. He’d laughed and gone right along with it. Then again, they were best friends. It might come as a complete surprise to him that she felt more. He might even see it as a betrayal. She couldn’t lose him. He was the only p
erson outside of her immediate family who didn’t treat her like she needed to be coddled. He never walked on eggshells around her like others did, no matter how many times she tried to reassure people they didn’t have to.
She could use the next three weeks while Duncan tried to get her to enjoy life, to get him to see her in a different way, but it meant she would have to put forth a little effort. She would have to try to remind him of the friendship they had before racing. A friendship she didn’t want to lose after racing ended. There had to be more between them, or the only thing that would be left of all their years together would be a line on his resume.
Isla’s intercom buzzed and she rolled over to press the respond button. “Yes?” Usually, she’d look out the living room window to see who had come, but she’d been too busy thinking to notice.
“Hola mi corazon, es Mamá.”
Mama hadn’t come to visit her apartment in quite a long time. She did a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure it was reasonably tidy then hit the buttons with the code. “Come on in!”
A few seconds later her sweet mama pushed open the door and held her arms wide with a smile just as big. “How are you, baby? I’ve missed you. You haven’t stopped by in a long time.” Before Isla could even answer, Mama bent and hugged her close. Nothing was quite so comforting as her hugs.
She could always tell her mama that she’d been busy practicing, which was true, but face-to-face with her mother, she knew it wasn’t a proper excuse. “I’m sorry. I let the time get away from me. I’m so glad you’re here though. I’d like to go to church tonight and I hate driving in the dark.”
Mama raised her eyebrows. “And will you be riding home with me as well? Or will you stay afterward to spend even more time with mi gringo?”
“His name is Duncan, Mama.” Isla laughed, because of all the people she’d gone to school with, Mama could find no fault in Duncan. With every one of her other friends, Mama had warned her of troubles, and she’d been right about every single one. Her mother would never say that Duncan was perfect, but she would have to hunt deeper than she was willing, to find his faults.
“I know what his name is. Did you invite him for dinner Sunday? I sent you a text.”
She’d gotten it. Mama was guilty of trying to fit an entire conversation into one text, so sometimes Isla skimmed, but she did catch that part. “Yes, I let him know. He’ll come and then you’ll get to see me twice in one week.”
“Three times. I’ll see you tomorrow too, and don’t tease. I miss my only girl. What have you been doing that is taking up so much of your time? Have you finally come to your senses and asked your Duncan to spend time with you outside of the track? You used to call me after every race and tell me about it, and him.”
She hated that swelling in her chest, that weakness, the need to cry and tell her mama just what bothered her. But she was in her twenties now, old enough that she shouldn’t need her mama to solve all her problems. “There isn’t much to tell. I’m working hard, but I can’t seem to beat my best. I’m giving it one more year. If I can’t do it, I’ll retire from racing and probably just volunteer. The planners are always looking for people to help.”
Mama sat on the couch and Isla maneuvered her chair closer.
“That’s very generous of you. You could even consider coaching. I think you’d do well at it and then you’d still be a part of the environment you love so much.”
The burning ache of failure welled up further and threatened to burst. “No one wants a second-best coach.” And no one would want a coach who could do nothing to help their athlete. She couldn’t do many of the things Duncan did for her, like lift her from her racing chair when she was too exhausted to do it herself.
“Anyway, if you’re going to ride with me, we’d best get you something to eat then get a move-on. We have to be there in a half hour.” Mama slipped her phone from her back pocket and clicked the home screen to verify the time.
“I ate a little bit earlier. I’ll be fine. Let me grab my coat and hat.”
“A little lipstick couldn’t hurt either,” Mama called down the hall as Isla rolled to her room.
At her mother’s words, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror over her dresser. She did look a little washed out, and bit of red would match her coat. She grabbed her makeup case and tucked it in the bag that hung on the right handle of her wheelchair. Her list was still up on her computer, reminding her that Thursday, the very next day, she would start seeing Duncan outside of work. Tonight would be like an appetizer. She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer that everything would go smoothly.
“Are you coming? If you don’t hurry, we’ll have to sit in the front.”
She was already uncomfortable with the stares she got―no need to put herself in front of everybody. Isla grabbed her coat and hat and pushed herself back down the hall. “I’ll put these on in the car. Let’s go!”
5
Boys raced around the commons area, affectionately known as the HUB, throwing a foam football back and forth. It was the last few minutes of loud and crazy boisterousness before all the children left with their parents and the church would be silent. Duncan preferred it loud. The boys’ laughter was contagious, filling his ears and heart. He held up a hand to join in. On cue, the boy in possession of the ball tossed it to Duncan.
He’d never played sports in school, nor had been part of any one group. He was the guy that fit in anywhere, had a lot of friends, but none of them close. Except Isla. Friends had teased him about how soon they would be tying the knot after graduation. Many were shocked at the five-year reunion when they were still friends, but not married.
He tossed the ball back into play and his neck prickled to awareness. He slowly turned to find just the person he’d been thinking about sitting beside the check-in desk. He waved and she gave a nervous smile and waved back. Kids made Isla nervous. She’d told him that they didn’t feel comfortable around her, and kids often just blurted things out that she wasn’t prepared to answer. He hadn’t thought about that with the Christmas pageant, but it was too late to change his plan now.
He went around to each classroom and collected any papers left behind, tossing them in the waste bins. Then he pushed in all the chairs and straightened the tables. By the time he’d finished in the four classrooms, the only person left in the commons was Isla. She was lovely in her bright red coat, her eyes dark, yet sparkling in the overhead light.
She bit her lip and pushed her chair forward. “I wasn’t sure how long it would take or if I should offer to help…”
He approached her, unable to stay away. “No need. Let’s go over to the couches in the lobby so we can talk.”
A flash of confusion crossed her face. “Don’t you have other work you need to do first?”
Nothing that couldn’t wait for a while, or even tomorrow morning if needed, Duncan thought to himself. Isla was important right then; everything else was second place. “I just need to hang around until the building is empty of everyone but staff. Just in case one of the parents should want to talk to me. I’ve also got to work on the church blog sometime in the next few days.”
She nodded and turned around.
When they were at the track, he never had trouble coming up with something to say, but now that she was alone with him, and there wasn’t the ready topic of speed, wind―or anything else having to do with racing―he wasn’t sure what to talk to her about.
“My mother sends her greetings.” Isla stopped in front of a long, curved, black vinyl couch. “I told her I would just get a ride home with you, I hope that’s okay.” Isla clasped and unclasped her hands in her lap and gave him a quick glance before returning her gaze to her lap.
“I’m pretty used to driving you. I think I can handle making sure you get back home in one piece. I’m not the worst driver out there.”
She laughed and glanced around the room. “You’re not the best, either.”
“Hey, now. No picking on y
our driver. I’ll leave you here.” They both knew he never would and she laughed at him again.
“So, what do you have planned for me?” she asked. “I have to say, you’ve made me curious.”
The lights from down the hall near the sanctuary dimmed, then shut off, leaving the smaller HUB entry the only source of light. “I have a few things planned, but I’m not telling. You’ll just have to find out when you get there.”
“Not even a little hint?”
He remembered in school when they would have class trips, Isla was never excited about going, had always misplaced her permission slip, and usually ended up staying home on those days. He’d forgotten how much she’d disliked going to strange places.
“Does it make you nervous, the inability to prepare?” He slid forward in his seat, his knee almost touching hers. If he could give her an ounce of his own strength, he would. Isla could face anyone on the track, but when it came to facing life, she had no confidence.
“A little. I put all those places and things on my list because they were things I never got to do, because of my legs.”
Maybe that was the way she remembered it, but it diverged completely from the way he did. He wouldn’t argue with her about it, though; that would get him nowhere. “Well, you listed a few things you’d like to do. Just know that in the next few weeks, I’m going to make as many of those happen as I can.”
Even the kiss, if he didn’t chicken out.
Pastor Paul came down the hallway and glanced their way, waved, and turned.