Two of Hearts
Page 17
He groaned, while his other hand worked to slide my panties down. But since my thighs were spread wide on top of him, it had become an impossible task. His mind changed course and instead his fingers curled beneath the elastic on my underwear, brushing the hair on my mound, and my legs began to quiver.
With both hands he grabbed hold of the thin strap on my hips and snapped my panties in half. His fingers parted the scrap of material away from my skin and dived for my wet center.
I moaned and closed my eyes at the sensation.
“Stay with me, baby,” he said as his thumb grazed my clit. “Open your eyes.”
“Why do you always need to see my eyes?” I breathed out and his gaze fastened on mine.
“So I can tell what you’re thinking . . . what your feeling,” he said, reaching up and brushing a strand of hair over my shoulder. “Had I been able to see your eyes five years ago . . . I—”
“You what . . . Oh God,” I moaned as his finger dipped inside my opening, my eyes now rolling to the back of my head.
“I saw you slipping away at the bar, going inside your head.” He glided another finger inside, curving it upward and I was so overcome with pleasure that I could scarcely focus on him. “Tell me why.”
What he was asking me barely registered. “I . . . I don’t know.”
“You do know,” he said, removing his fingers, his lips drawn in a straight line. I regretted their absence immediately. “Tell me.”
The entire lower half of my body was buzzing from his onslaught but I ignored it to answer him, so we could get back to the task at hand. “I guess . . . I guess I’m afraid.”
His fingers grasped at my neck and he tugged me down to eye level. “Afraid of what, baby?”
I hesitated a long time before answering, my chest heaving as I inhaled large gulps of air. He waited me out, his fingers tightening their grip.
“Afraid of not feeling your lips on me again, your smile on me.”
He inhaled sharply through his nose.
“I’m afraid too, angel,” he said, softly touching his lips to mine. He braced my thighs, lifted me up and over his pulsing erection. “Having you like this every night—”
“Shane—” He sank me down fast and hard, stealing my breath away. He was seated deeply inside of me and all I could do was clutch at his shoulders and moan as he began moving, thrusting upward in a solid yet frenzied pace.
“Touch yourself, angel,” he said in a strangled voice.
I grabbed at my breasts, tugging my nipples and he groaned louder.
“You’re so damn sexy,” he grunted out. “Keep touching. I need to see it.”
My fingers traveled lower until I reached the place where his skin met mine. I rubbed my fingers over him as I watched him sinking in and out of me. Then my hand relocated to my clit.
A couple of minutes more and I was nearly gone as he began thrusting at a different angle, his eyes wild and desperate, as he watched my fingers slide and circle around my center.
“I can’t hold off,” I said, my voice strangled as heat surged and spread like wildfire, sparking up my thighs and wrapping around my belly.
“Me neither, baby,” he said and he pumped harder and faster until we both exploded at the same time, shivering and quaking.
I fell over the top of him, sweaty and sated. We lay there for several long and silent minutes catching our breath until he slid off the sheets to clean himself up.
When he returned, he pulled me into his arms, our legs entwined, his head burrowed into my neck. His lips left feathery kisses along my nape, making me shiver.
“I can’t have you going inside your head again,” he said. “So I need to hear you say it.”
His fingers gripped my chin and my eyes snapped to his. “Say what?”
“That you want this as much as I do,” he said. “Fuck, angel, I come back into town and I get to be yours again, but not in public, and I’m respecting your wishes. But a part of me keeps thinking, that’s not my girl. She doesn’t cave to pressures like that. I get her behind closed doors, but I need her so bad and I need all of her. I gotta know if she wants the same.”
Oh my God.
I remained quiet, listening to him, but there was a tornado corkscrewing inside of me. He was right. I had kept him hidden. Why should he stand for that? I was an idiot. I was allowing my fear to rule me.
“Of . . . of course I do.” But I couldn’t help thinking that I was staying here in this town, at this casino, even when his job would take him everywhere else. I’d have to face it alone once again sometime soon. My heart sank to my feet. I wasn’t sure I had that kind of strength inside of me. I had already endured too much. How could this ever work?
“You’re a million miles away again,” he said, his voice gruff, his eyebrows slanted in frustration. “Talk to me, Dee.”
“I just—” I took a deep breath. I needed to get it out. I motioned between the two of us. “I just don’t know how this is supposed to work, with our jobs and our schedules. You don’t even know what you’ll be doing next. Where you’ll be. You have an apartment in Atlanta that I’ve never seen and a grocery store where you shop, and—”
“We’re back there again?” he said, his voice delving deep in exasperation. “There comes a time when you’ve got to think beyond that. You’ve got to think about what you really want and then hold on tight as hell to it. Make it work however you can.”
My heart was thrashing in my chest as he continued. “First you gotta want it and show the other person that you want it. Time comes and you feel the same? You want me like I want you? So damn proud that you’re dying to hold my hand, to kiss my lips in public, the way that I am every day? You get to that point? Then we’ll make it work, no matter what.”
His fingers tunneled through my hair and he pulled my lips to his in a searing kiss. His tongue nudged past my lips and I moaned into his mouth. His other hand wrapped around my waist and he pressed me flush against him.
He broke the kiss and moved to my jaw, kissing and nibbling lightly.
“I do want that with you,” I said. “I understand what you need. I know I haven’t been the best at telling you how I feel, showing you, but I’m going to get there.”
He stared deeply into my eyes, looking for traces of something. And I tried to show it to him, my eyes practically brimming with tears. My actions were hurting him and it was killing me. Finally, he removed me from his clutches by offering an almost imperceptible nod.
* * *
I’d just emerged from the shower with a large white towel draped around my body. Shane had gotten up first, made us coffee, and was sipping from his cup in bed with his laptop open on his knees.
Light was filtering through the blinds as I lay back down, tucking myself into his side, wishing I could stay there with him a while longer. We’d made love two more times last night and my muscles were feeling the effects.
After I went down on him again, he had taken me from behind against the headboard and then again a couple hours later, after I had woken up.
Then, I slept. Glorious blissful sleep with Shane’s limbs wrapped all around me.
“Morning, baby,” he said, sliding his coffee and laptop to the nightstand. “You smell good.”
He kissed my shoulder and then his fingers reached for the top of my towel, gently unhooking it. His knuckles brushed lazily across my ultra-sensitive nipples and then slid lower, heading between my legs. “Oh, honey, I’m too sore.”
His lips tipped into a lopsided grin. “You’re sore from attacking me last night, angel?”
I reached for the pillow to smash it on top of his head, but his hand grasped my wrist, stopped me in the process. He laughed, nudging me flat on the mattress and sinking down on top of me.
His eyes grew intense, staring into mine. And then he claimed my mouth in a powerful kiss, his tongue delving deep, and his fingers holding my arms hostage above my head.
I moaned into his mouth, feeling a flame flicker
inside me in spite of my achy and stiff muscles. He yanked the towel away from my body and looked appraisingly at me.
His eyes slid lazily from my chest down to the area between my legs. I had the urge to cover up but there was such reverence in his eyes, it emboldened me instead.
“Sore, yeah?” When his fingers gently probed my folds, I hissed through my teeth. “You do look a little swollen down there.”
“Trust me,” I said, planting a chaste kiss on his lips. “I am.”
“Let me make it feel better,” he said, his lips already gliding over my belly button to my center.
“Shane—”
“I promise to be gentle.”
“I have to—”
“Shhh.”
I held my breath as he tenderly kissed my mound and then descended lower to part me with his thumbs. Using the very tip of his tongue he brushed lightly over my sensitive nub, and I bit down on my bottom lip because it stung.
But then he used the flat of his wet tongue to brush over my sensitive skin from my opening to my clit, circling consciously and purposefully around my lips as I felt the first prickle of arousal.
“How does that feel, baby?” he said, gently flicking at my clit.
“Mmmm,” I said, my fingers finding his hair.
“My poor baby’s red and puffy from our fucking,” he said, his words making me instantly wet. “I like that you’re swollen from me.”
His tongue dragged up and down, bathing and soothing me, increasing slightly in pressure.
“Yes,” I sighed, my head lolling from side to side.
“Only me,” he said as he moved down to lick deeply inside of me.
“Only you,” I agreed as I felt that familiar tingling and pulling in my belly.
“That’s my girl,” he said as he continued his gentle but unrelenting onslaught and brought me to a climax that rolled over me in wave after luxurious wave.
Chapter Twenty-five
DAKOTA
It’d been a good day at the casino and things almost felt back to normal. Except my dad was still gone, picketers were still rallying outside the doors, and we were unsure whether the Casino Association was going to vote about our continued involvement in their organization.
Despite all of that, we went on with our day, got our work done. Business was a tad slower than normal, no doubt due to the protesters outside, but the media attention had long since died down. We still had to make sure our patrons were happy and watch out for card counters or thieves. Our security team and the pit bosses were still on high alert.
At the end of a long day, I slid into the backseat of Grayson’s car with my mother, who was leaving work at the same time. I hadn’t seen Shane today, but I was hoping to see him later. I had come to expect the routine of having him show up most evenings—sometimes early enough to cook dinner, sometimes so late he’d just slip into bed beside me. And on the nights that he couldn’t come, the bed felt cold and lonely without him.
After we passed the line of picketers without any incidences besides yelling and finger pointing, I allowed my body to relax. They seemed to be losing their steam in the last few days. Maybe it would be over soon.
“You look happier lately,” my mother said.
“For the moment,” I said, stretching out my legs. I wanted to fling off my pumps but I’d save that luxury for later. “I feel less stressed, but I know that can change in an instant.”
“I’m not talking about work, darling,” Mom said. “I’m talking about Shane. He makes you happy.”
“Yes.” I couldn’t stop the smile from edging across my lips. “But that can change, too, at a moment’s notice.”
My mother’s eyebrows pressed together. “What do you mean?”
I sighed and sank back in the sink. “So much pressure, Mom.”
Her eyes remained focused on me. “Pressure from where?”
“From all sides,” I said, rubbing my hand along my temple. “He’s not Indian, you know. I don’t want people to . . .”
“Is that why you seem to be keeping it a secret?”
“It’s complicated. I want to protect it for a little while longer before it’s ripped apart by everyone’s speculation,” I said. “Before they look at him differently. Before they begin to question my intentions again. I mean, Kai and Rachel, their infertility—”
“You stop right there,” she said, her voice so commanding that my eyes immediately snapped to hers.
We stared at each other for a long moment and I saw her swallow roughly, trying to harness her emotion. “Don’t you remember who your parents are?”
I nodded, because I knew full well that in their history they also had some speculation and protest.
“When your father and I started out, there was pushback. We hid it for a while because we didn’t know how to handle it. It took strength. It forced us to stand as a united front to show everyone else how much we loved each other and how well we worked together.”
I imagined my parents in love at my age, and a warmth filled my chest. They were such a commanding presence together, right until the day he died.
“Sometimes attraction is so powerful you can’t help but be swayed by it. And sometimes that attraction turns into something more, something that fills up your whole world,” she said. “Sure, you can find yourself a nice Native American man, but would you feel for him how you feel for Shane, how I felt for your father?”
I met her eyes and gave a slight shake of my head, because what I felt when Shane simply walked in the room was like nothing I’d ever felt with anyone before.
“Right,” she said. “So you’re going to compromise for other people, settle because you’d rather make others happy?”
My shoulders sagged. She was making perfect sense, as usual.
“That’s not you,” she said, her hand on my knee. “That’s not the daughter I raised who is a natural leader and was always stubborn enough to stick to her core values.”
“You’re right,” I said and patted her hand. “But there’s also the problem of his job being elsewhere and mine being here.”
She nodded sadly. “A job is a job. But a home is where your heart settles. It’s not a location—it’s an awareness.”
“Even if—”
She cut me off. “Even if it means you have to leave.”
I felt tears prick my eyes because the idea of leaving my mom and the casino was as unfathomable as watching Shane drive away from this town and my life.
“You already lost him once. Don’t lose him again.”
“We’ll see,” I whispered to nobody but myself.
After Grayson dropped Mom off, we drove to my place in silence, mulling over everything we’d discussed.
“See you in the morning, boss lady,” Grayson said as I shut the door behind me.
He waited as I made my way inside, past the main door that continued to stick even though management tried to fix it, and then to the bank of elevators.
My phone buzzed as the doors slid open.
Shane: At the station with Dad, going to be late.
Me: I’ll pick up sandwiches from the deli and you can eat whenever.
Shane: No need, babe. I can eat here.
Me: Well, I’m still hungry and I forgot to eat at the casino.
I could hear him scowling through his next message, always concerned about my whereabouts.
Shane: You let me know the minute you return.
I rolled my eyes at his persistence in such matters and typed back: Of course, chief.
I pulled into my underground spot with a ham and cheese, a roast beef and Swiss, and two of the double chocolate brownies that Shane liked from the deli. It felt foreign driving my car again because the past couple of weeks, I was always either with Grayson or Shane.
Emerging from the driver’s seat, I reached for my purse and then pushed the keyless remote to lock the door when suddenly large and cold fingers pressed over my mouth.
I heard a ragged voice at my
ear. “You need to convince your mother to sell the casino or we’ll do it for you.”
I gagged on my own saliva and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. Who the hell could possibly be threatening me?
I fought to press open my mouth against his hand to either yell or bite his fingers.
It was the only way I could think of to find help or to get away.
The seconds ticked on as my body shivered in fear.
And then abruptly, the pressure of his hand was gone followed by a grunting sound. When I turned the man had been knocked to the ground and standing over him was a statuesque blond woman. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail and she growled at the man who had now gotten to his knees. “You stupid enough not to know that this building has security? Cameras are recording. Cops are already on their way.”
The guy scrambled up, breathing heavily, possibly considering whether or not to lunge at this tall woman until she arched her eyebrow in a challenge. I’d never seen anything like it and now I wished I’d only had half of her nerve and fearlessness.
The man, who wore a skullcap and dark shades, backed up and snarled. The woman was just able to snatch his sunglasses from his face before he clambered away from her. She advanced to reach for his cap, but he ducked under her arm, tipping her off balance, and then shot like a bullet out of the garage.
“You okay?” the woman asked, eyeing me up and down.
I nodded, running a hand over my mouth as if his fingers had left marks. But I was more in shock than anything.
“Not going to chase him and leave you here exposed, in case there are others,” she said, her eyes sweeping around the garage. I backed against the cement wall. “Didn’t spot anybody with him, though. I’ll be able to run his plates from the surveillance video.”
She turned and stared into my eyes, and there was a flicker of recognition there.
I gulped, feeling numb and confused and more than a little relieved. “I had no idea my building had that kind of security. You say the police are on their way?”
“No,” she said. “I just said that to scare him off.”
Something inside my chest hardened into a tight protective ball. “So you’re not security?”