Loathe Me
Page 16
The grass is beginning to frost, and it crunches under my feet as I round the corner of the house. I intend to cut through the woods and outflank the fight, but I halt when a shadowy figure separates from the side of the house, blocking my path. At first, I instinctively shy away from the person dressed in black, but it takes only a moment for me to recognize Sasha’s silhouette. And then I have to wonder if I wouldn’t rather run into an Elite out here. They’d be easier to get away from.
He inhales a deep breath, releasing it on a sigh. “I almost wish you weren’t this predictable, Adelina.”
I clutch the gun in my hand. “What choice do I have?”
“You said you trusted me.”
“I do!”
“If that were true, we wouldn’t be here.”
“You don’t understand.”
He steps forward, and the reminiscent light from the house makes his features distinguishable in the darkness. “I understand revenge perfectly.”
“Have you ever lost anyone, Sasha?”
“Many.”
“Did you ever lose anyone who wasn’t a soldier? Someone you loved?”
He narrows his eyes. “Not yet.”
“I hope you never do. I don’t want you to lose any of them.” I glance back towards the house, picturing Nero and Una, Gio and Jackson, Tommy, all taking a stand.
“It doesn’t have to be like this. Please, just…think it through.”
“I have thought of nothing else. My burden is not theirs. It’s not yours.”
“My burden is whatever I choose it to be.” His fists clench, and the muscle in his jaw ticks. “Don’t put this on me, malyshka. If you run now, you do it for your own selfish reasons.”
“He killed my father! It’s not selfish. It’s justice.”
“You kill Enrique, and then what? His men kill you? What is it all for, Adelina? It won’t bring him back.”
“He’ll no longer be walking around while my father rots in the ground.” Tears sting my eyes. “I have nothing else.”
“You have me,” the broken confession slips past his lips, burrowing into my chest.
The tears break free, sliding down my cheeks. “You can’t fill this void, Sasha. No one can.” I’ve realized that in the last twenty-four hours, with the possibility of retribution so close.
It’s all-consuming. Sasha is a beautiful and heroic distraction to a lonely, broken girl. He makes me feel safe, and truthfully, I don’t want to leave him, but I need more. I need a purpose beyond just hiding while allowing others to fight for me. I need Enrique Bianchi’s blood.
“I won’t let you do this,” he vows, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
I hate what comes next, but he leaves me no option. Desperation claws at me like a rabid animal. “How can you not see; this will fix everything.”
“It won’t fix you.” He won’t listen, won’t see reason.
With a trembling hand, I lift the gun. “Move, Sasha.”
“No.”
“I don’t want to hurt you!”
He tosses his own weapon on the ground and takes a step forward. The barrel of my gun nudges against his stomach, but he never wavers. I hate him for doing this, for being the noble hero, when I just need him to be a cold bastard right now. It would make this far easier.
“Don’t make me shoot you!” My voice breaks, hysteria lacing my tears.
His palms my face, forcing me to look at him. “Malyshka,” he breathes, the scent of mint and pine washing over me. “Don’t do this.”
I tilt my chin and meet that clear blue gaze of his. I see what this costs him, feel it as keenly as the stabbing pain in my own chest. I’ve been betrayed over and over, and now I’m doing it to him. I loathe myself for it.
“I’m sorry,” I brush my lips over his, and then I pull away. With a tilt of my gun, I pull the trigger. The gunshot explodes through the night air. He grunts, but it’s the only indication that he’s hurt. “I’m sorry,” I choke.
He drops to the ground, clutching his thigh. I see the red pouring between his fingers. As soon as I know he’s not dead, I turn and sprint for the trees. “Adelina!”
I keep running, hopping the fence line and diving into the woods. His voice echoes behind me, haunting me. I sprint, allowing branches and thorns to whip my skin and snag my hair. Faster, faster, trying to drown out the wounded look of betrayal on Sasha’s face. I finally burst through the treeline onto the road, only a few meters away from the main gate.
I’m immediately staring down the barrel of a gun. “I believe you’re looking for me,” I say to the man dressed head to toe in black.
He lowers the weapon and steps back. Behind him are several more Elite and two parked cars. The back door of one opens, and one shiny, black shoe hits the driveway, followed by another. My eyes lift to the man that steps out of the vehicle. His three-piece suit is impeccable, and completely out of place at the scene of a war. A slow smile works over his lips as he approaches. Dark eyes the color of coal sweep over me, and bile creeps up the back of my throat.
Enrique.
My finger twitches on the trigger of the gun. I could just shoot him, end it here, but as I look around, I take note of the sheer number of weapons trained on me. Elite, faster, more accurate I have no doubt. I wouldn’t stand a chance. Despite what Sasha thinks, I don’t actually want to die. I simply want him dead. Whatever the cost.
“Ah, Adelina Ricci,” he purrs, pulling a pack of cigarettes from the inside pocket of his jacket. “What a prize you are.” He places one between his and makes a slow show of lighting it. The end glows a bright cherry red as he inhales deeply. Smoke billows around him, drifting on the wintry breeze and winding over me in a lazy fog.
I keep my eyes fixed on him, refusing to look away.
With a smug smile, he closes the short distance between us. I force myself not to lurch away as he reaches out and sweeps a strand of hair away from my face. Play the role. Get close to him. “You’ll make a beautiful bride.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, chaining my rage, forging patience.
“Now get in the car. We’re going home.”
To be continued…in LEAVE ME
PRE-ORDER ON ALL PLATFORMS HERE: https://books2read.com/u/mdLVMO
Books linked to the Touch of Death Series
MAKE ME is a glimpse into Una and Nero’s childhood in the Elite. Download MAKE ME HERE for only 99c!
KILL ME – Kiss of Death #1 is the start of Una and Nero’s story. Both books in the duet are available now. Download KILL ME here.
HATE ME – Collateral #1 is the story of Una’s sister, Anna. I would recommend reading Kill Me and Kiss Me before reading this one. HATE ME is currently FREE. Download here.
Acknowledgments
Behind every book is a team of people who helped bring it to life. There are so many people to thank for helping me with Loathe Me.
Autumn Gantz from Wordsmith Publicity, I’m not sure how I fully functioned as an adult before you. Thanks for your eternal patience.
Kerry Fletcher. Girl, you put up with so much. You’re like, part PA, part mother and part super hero. I love you!
And on that note, Kerry, Jen and Charlotte, thank you for beta reading and suffering through the mental breakdowns once again.
Danielle Dickson, thank you for your patience in designing my covers. You nailed this one in record time.
Stephie and Stevie, thank you for your vigilant editing.
Stevie...what can I say? I love you, whore.
There are so many blogs and individuals who have helped me along the way and you are all hugely appreciated, but I have to acknowledge one in particular.
Give Me Books and One-Click Addicts. I love you girls and I couldn’t do this without you. Mummy Kylie, organization queen and actual fucking goddess, thank you for your awesome PR and your ongoing support. You’re a star, and no one else can do what you do.
There are so, so many people who have helped me, and you know who you are.
&
nbsp; I hope I haven’t missed anyone. Just know that anyone who has ever written a review, posted a teaser, or read any of my books...Thank you. Your ongoing support means the world.
About the Author
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Lauren Lovell is a ginger from England. She suffers from a total lack of brain to mouth filter and is the friend you have to explain before you introduce her to anyone, and
apologise for afterwards. Her main goal in life is to make readers mildly disgusted and uncomfortably aroused at the same time.
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