On Our Own

by Silver, L. D.

The other zombie is taller, maybe six-foot-two to six-foot-five, and he’s wearing a blue button-down shirt with black pants. I wonder if the two worked together and got attacked at the same time. He’s more together than Beer Belly, at least I think so until I notice a huge portion of his skull is gone, revealing a bit of his brain. He won’t last long with it exposed like that. Unlike his companion, he’s African American, so the signs of the virus are harder to see from a distance. I can still see a bit of the cracked skin, though. He has duct tape on his mouth, as well.

  “How are they protection?” Cassie asks.

  “They’re not real loud thanks to the tape, but if they know stiffs are nearby then they moan and vibrate back and forth.”

  “How do they know if zombies are nearby?”

  Jim shrugs. “Beats me. I don’t know if they have great hearing, or if they just know, somehow. But they always do. As far as we can tell, the moaning starts about five miles out, and the wobbling starts at two.”

  “As far as you can tell?” I ask.

  “We’ve done a bit of testing.” His eyes slide away.

  “Now, how about dinner?” Todd changes the subject.

  “Sure.” Cassie smiles.

  We gather some sticks and then the guys get the fire going. I reach into my backpack and pull out some carrots we got from the farm house. I was saving them for later, but I figure if they’re going to feed us that it would only be polite to share. I put down a blanket near the fire and put the carrots on top.

  “Be careful with that blanket, girl.” Todd nods to the fire.

  “I was.” I bristle. I don’t like him telling me what to do. Cassie shoots me a look, so I don’t say anything more.

  Todd grabs some of the sticks that didn’t make it into the fire, reaches into a cooler and brings out a piece of steak then pushes it onto the stick. He hands it to Cassie and then proceeds to make three more, passing one to Jim and one to me.

  “What about them?” I gesture to Roman and Grandpa.

  “Oh, they’re vegetarians,” Todd says, and giggles. The sound goes right up my spine, like greasy fingers along my skin.

  I grab all but two of the carrots and I hand them to Roman. He smiles really big, handing some of them to Grandpa and then crunching into one right away.

  “I haven’t seen fresh vegetables in a while,” Jim says.

  “Yeah, we got lucky a while back. I haven’t seen fresh steak in ages, either,” I respond.

  “Yeah, we got lucky, too.” Jim replies. The two men hold their kabobs over the fire and Cassie follows their example. I hold the stick up in front of my face, twirling it and looking at the meat. It looks okay. It looks fresh and it doesn’t look like it’s had maggots on it or anything. I go ahead and thrust my stick near the fire.

  It takes forever to cook, and it leaves me really wishing for a microwave. While I’m waiting, I go ahead and open a couple of cans of peaches and hand them out, seeing as the majority of the carrots went to Grandpa and Roman. It looks like Grandpa’s fallen asleep, but the little boy just sits there, his eyes flicking from me, to Todd and Jim, and finally to the zombies. Both of the empty-heads are silent, but it still creeps me out that they’re there. Why aren’t they moaning at the sight of us? Are they from that town, or has Todd somehow taught them not to make noise unless it’s other dead? Are they tame?

  Eventually the meat looks like it’s finished and I take the stick away from the fire. I notice that Todd and Jim are already eating and Cassie’s at about the same point I am.

  I try to take a bite straight from the stick but it’s too hot, so I pull a bit off with slightly burned fingers and shove it into my mouth.

  “So, where are you from?” Cassie asks.

  “I’m from Oklahoma City and Todd’s from the Springs.” Jim gestures to his friend with greasy fingers.

  “The Springs?” she repeats.

  “Yeah, Colorado Springs,” Todd answers.

  “How about you girls?” Jim smiles.

  I make a big show of chewing, holding up my stick so Cassie can answer. There’s something wrong with the meat. It tastes a bit off. Maybe it’s already started to rot?

  “So, you two have been traveling all alone?”

  I see Cassie nod, and I take another bite. The texture just doesn’t seem right. I root around in my backpack for a paper towel, and make like I’m wiping my mouth while I spit the piece of meat into it.

  “That’s just amazing. For two girls to have made it this far by yourself, you must have been really scared. We understand that you must have done just about anything to survive. A lot of tough things. Good job.”

  I try not to look guilty – even though I feel it – while I bury the meat in the ashes near me. Jim raises a beer to us and Todd does the same. Where did they get that? No one else is drinking anything.

  “Good job, girls.” Todd grins at both of us and takes a swig. It’s at that point that I realize all of the food has been eaten.

  I glance at Cassie, and she subtly points to a little earth mound near her. I don’t think she liked it either, but neither of us wants to offend the guys.

  Jim comes around the fire and sits between us, almost right on top of the meat grave. “I’m sorry, girls. That had to be awful. But you’re safe with us now, right?”

  “Right.” Cassie smiles. Todd gets up and sits on the other side of her.

  I don’t like how close Jim is sitting so I try to subtly scooch away. My pulse is up and I just feel something’s wrong. The way Todd’s looking at Cassie; where have I seen that before?

  Jim turns to me. “You’re real pretty. How old are you?”

  “Thanks.” I try to smile, but my heart is pounding so hard I’m sure he can hear it. This is so wrong. I know it’s wrong. I should do something.

  Does Cassie know something’s off?

  I should do something, but what?

  I notice movement out of the side of my eye. The zombies in the back, they’re not moaning, but they’re shifting. Are they wobbling?

  Jim touches my knee. “Thank you for sharing the peaches with us. That was very nice of you.”

  I try not to squirm under his touch. Surely if I’m nice, he’ll stop, right?

  Cassie bolts to her feet. “I feel sick,” she tells us before she walks away from the group to a tree nearby.

  “I better see if she’s okay,” I say, glad for the excuse to get away from Jim. I walk to Cassie and whisper, “What’s wrong?”

  “My stomach’s queasy.”

  “Did you eat that meat?”

  “Just one bite. It seemed ... off.”

  “Yeah, it seemed wrong to me, too,” I say.

  Cassie turns. “Hey, what was wrong with that meat? I’m feeling sick,” she asks in a loud voice.

  “What was wrong with it?” Todd giggles again.

  God, men should not giggle. It’s just wrong.

  “Why, nothing was wrong with it.” He grabs the cooler, walks over to us, and opens it so we can look inside.

  Oh, God, oh, God... that’s what was wrong with it. There’s part of a person left in there.

  I turn around immediately and throw up. Todd giggles again and I fall to my knees, upchucking until there’s nothing left.

  “Zombie or human?” Cassie asks in this cold, clear, logical voice that should never come out of a child.

  Dear God, please no.

  “Human,” Jim answers, like he’s telling us about the weather. He kneels in front of me, his eyes burning into mine. “How else would we get fresh meat?”

  “I didn’t eat any of it,” I say, as if that matters.

  “You’re vegetarian, too, hunh?” He smiles and tucks my hair behind my ear with one finger. “That’s okay. You’re a real pretty girl.”

  My stomach twists, and I realize where I’ve seen that look before – from guys leering at me and my friends out of a van.

  “Let go!” Cassie shouts. Todd’s holding her arm, so she hits him with her fist and he just laughs.<
br />
  I know I have to act. Please, God, let me act.

  I fall backward, away from Jim. I look over my shoulder, and the zombies are definitely wobbling now.

  My hands are shaking and I feel like I have acid in my veins.

  There’s one thing I can think of to do. I open my mouth and I moan; a good loud, long zombie moan. Everyone stops dead still, staring at me with surprise. The two empty-heads join me, the sounds muffled by the tape on their mouths.

  “You stupid bitch!” Jim yells. He comes for me, hands outstretched, face twisted with anger.

  Chapter 49

  I only know one defense move and I’m clumsy as hell, so I wait for him to get close then thrust my foot with all of my strength into his privates.

  Jim screams and falls to the ground.

  I race to the other side of the camp and grab my bat. By the time I get back, Todd has lifted Cassie off the ground and is using my best friend as a shield. God, I felt this coming. Why didn’t I do something?

  “Don't even try it.” He backs away as she struggles. I grip my bat. I have horrible aim; if I try to hit him, I will hit Cassie. Then I notice he’s not too far from the zombies. I try to keep the knowledge off my face and walk forward, forcing him backwards.

  “Let her go.” I know we only have a little time until Jim gets to his feet.

  “Oh, no, little bitch. She’s going to be my next steak.” His eyes are half-crazed and I wonder how he ever looked normal to me.

  “No, I think this time you’re the steak.” I rush in and push him back. Beer Belly takes him just as I grab Cassie. Todd doesn’t scream or anything; he just tries to hang onto her. She reaches up and tears the tape off the zombie’s mouth. I hold my breath, hoping the empty-head won’t bite her, when she punches Todd in the stomach. It’s a light blow, but he lets her go and she stumbles into my arms as Beer Belly bites him.

  And then he screams.

  A hand grips my shoulder and forces me around. I lose hold of Cassie, but I keep the grip on my bat. Jim punches me and my face explodes with pain. I drop to the ground. He kicks me, but I had a brother who could kick, too, and I roll away as fast as I can. I get to my feet with the bat, ready to swing.

  That’s when we hear it: moans. Loud, long zombie moans, and a lot of them.

  “Fuck this, and fuck you.” Jim runs to the truck.

  I skirt around the fire and find Cassie untying Grandpa. Without us even realizing it, he’d been tied up the whole time under the blanket.

  “You guys get out of here as quick as you can,” I say. Roman nods, his eyes large and haunted. He leads Grandpa into the darkness.

  That leaves Cassie, Sunshine and me. I think I kind of know where the cliff that leads to our Jeep is, I just don’t know where the zombies are located. I do know they’re coming, though.

  “Take my hand. Don’t let go for anything,” I tell Cassie. She nods, her hand gripping mine. We head into the darkness.

  #

  I’m running, I can’t see anything, and I’m holding onto Cassie’s hand like it’s a lifeline. We’re surrounded, I know it. I can hear the moans all around me, coming out of the darkness. God, how many did I call?

  It’s pitch-black, so dark I can’t see anything, and my eyes ache from trying. But my ears, oh, they work. I hear every shuffle of a zombie’s footsteps, every moan, and my skin crawls at the thought of something coming out of the blackness to touch me.

  I run faster and faster and my hand becomes slick with sweat.

  Cassie’s hand slips out of mine.

  Chapter 50

  “Cassie!” I scream. “Cassie!”

  I stop immediately but I can’t see her. I can’t hear her. I’m surrounded by the dark and I’m alone.

  My breath comes fast and hard, and I will my eyes to see, to just work. I’m alone. I’m by myself and surrounded by a bunch of zombies that are trying to find me and tear me apart.

  I can feel the sweat cooling on my back, on the hand that so failed me. God, where is she? Is she okay? Is she already eaten?

  I start to cry. God, I didn’t want this, to die abandoned and alone, eaten alive by things that will never know what they destroyed. I don’t want to die!

  I can hear them. I can feel them moaning and moving, trying to find me.

  I’m sweating again, my heart pulsing in my ears. I feel like I have acid in my blood, and I realize I have to run; I have to pick a direction and run, no matter what.

  So I pick the way I think is right and I run full-speed.

  Right into a zombie.

  Just by reflex, it reaches out and its arms come around me. I scream and go wild, struggling with all my might until I slip out of its slimy grasp. I pick a slightly different bearing, put out my hands in front of me and run.

  I’m racing blindly forward. I have to live. Please, God, let me live. I know tears are falling down my face, but I can’t see, so I just ignore them.

  I stop, a cramp in my side making every breath hurt. Then I feel something on the back of my neck, an exhalation and a stench so rotten I gag. I scream. I scream good and loud, and I hope the last people alive can hear me.

  Something grabs my wrist and I pull back, terrified, bumping into the empty-head behind me.

  “Delilah, it’s me. Now run!”

  Thank God, it’s Cassie holding my wrist. She pulls on me and I run. I trust her completely, matching her pace and trying not to sweat, trying to keep that contact.

  I’m crying, and I keep saying, “Thank you.”

  We slow down going up the hill, and then she puts my hand on the door handle of the Jeep while she goes around to the other side.

  I yank the door open, vault inside, and slam it behind me. Cassie closes hers just as I notice that Sunshine’s in the back. Then I collapse, shaking, against the wheel.

  Chapter 51

  She saved me. She came back, and she saved me.

  #

  Cassie points me in a direction and gets me driving again. I’m still shaking a bit, but after about twenty minutes that goes away and we look for a place to hide for the night. Nothing seems safe to me, everything seems suspect, but she’s right – I can’t drive all night. I take the Jeep off the road and onto some grass, then up a small hill and down into a valley where we’re surrounded by deciduous trees.

  We lock the doors and settle down for the evening.

  I try to go to sleep, really I do, but every time I close my eyes and see the darkness behind them, I feel like I’m back in the middle of that field. I keep jerking awake, and Cassie starts giving me dark looks after a while. So I keep my eyes open and stare off into the night, thinking.

  She came back for me, helped me.

  She didn’t leave me all alone.

  #

  My mom always seemed strong and happy. Even after Dad and Mike left, she kept a pleasant face and tried to cheer me up. I didn’t respond as well. I was angry and hurt, and I didn’t want to be home anymore. Even when we moved out of our house and into the crappy apartment, I just didn’t want to be there. I kept looking for Mike around every corner. So I stayed out. I stayed over at Tonya’s, or I just came home late and flopped into bed. I didn’t care about doing my homework anymore; instead, I scribbled something on the bus ride into school. I just hurt.

  I saw my mom stumble the day she got the divorce papers. I actually came home that day – I think I had a fight with Tonya because she wanted to go out with her boyfriend that night instead of letting me sleep over – so I came home in a foul mood. Mom made spaghetti and I sat at the table, made a face and complained. She just started crying. She said something about how nothing was ever good enough for anybody, dropped her fork, went into her bedroom and slammed the door.

  I just sat there, surprised.

  I waited a few minutes, and then the only thing I could think to do was knock on her door. She didn’t answer, though. I didn’t know what to do, so I figured screw it and I went in.

  My mom was on the bed, crying.

/>   “I’m sorry, Mom,” I apologized, not even really sure what I did.

  “It’s okay, honey. Go finish your dinner. I’m just not feeling well,” Mom said.

  I ignored that and walked around to the left side of the bed, sitting down near her. That’s when I noticed the papers, speckled with colored plastic tabs, sitting on top of a yellow envelope. I looked closer and noticed the word “divorce”. Her wedding ring was on the table next to them.

  “Oh, Mom, I’m so sorry.” I rubbed her back, and then she sat up and opened her arms for a hug. I hugged her, and she just held on for dear life, crying and crying with those awful sounds. I realized that she still loved Dad.

  I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to make this better, so I just stayed there and hugged her, even when it got really icky and wet. It hit me then that all those nights I’d been out, all those times I’d run away, she’d been alone.

  Alone and hurt.

  All those times she’d smiled and let me go out – how many times had she been at home crying?

  Tears welled up in my eyes, and it was at that point that I vowed I would come home for dinner every night, that I’d only stay out one weekend night a week, that I’d make sure my mom wasn’t alone.

  Being alone is one of the worst things in the world.

  Chapter 52

  I wake up because Sunshine is sitting in my lap and licking my face. She’s heavy, and her paws dig into my thighs.

  “Get off,” I whisper. She whines softly and turns her head toward Cassie. Cassie’s asleep, but her face is scrunched up and she’s moaning “No” over and over again. I rub the dog’s fur, wondering whether I should wake her up, when suddenly she screams loud and long then jolts awake.

  “Are you okay?” I ask her. Her fear-filled eyes just stare at me for a few moments and then she shakes her head.

  “They were coming after me.”

  “The zombies?”