Bared to You: A Crossfire Novel

by Day, Sylvia

“Low blow, Cary. I’m not going to be your punching bag over this. You messed up, and then you made it worse. It’s al on you.”

  “Don’t get on your damn high horse. You’re sleeping with a man who’s going to rape you any day now.”

  “It’s not like that!”

  He snorted and leaned his hip against the counter, his green eyes fil ed with pain and anger. “If you’re going to make excuses for him because he’s sleeping when he attacks you, you’l have to make those same excuses for drunks and druggies. They don’t know what they’re doing either.”

  The truth of his words struck me hard, as did the fact that he was deliberately trying to wound me. “You can put down a bottle. You can’t quit sleeping.” Straightening, Cary opened the bottle he’d selected and poured two glasses, sliding one across the counter toward me. “If anyone knows what it’s like to be involved with people who hurt you, it’s me. You love him. You want to save him. But who’s going to save you, Eva? I’m not always going to be around when you’re with him and he’s a ticking time bomb.”

  “You wanna talk about being in relationships that hurt, Cary?” I shot back, deflecting him away from my painful truths. “Did you screw Trey over to protect yourself? Did you figure you’d push him away before he had the chance to disappoint you?”

  Cary’s mouth curved bitterly. He tapped his glass to mine, which stil sat on the counter. “Cheers to us, the seriously fucked up. At least we have each other.” He stalked out of the room and I deflated. I’d known this was coming—the unraveling of circumstances too good to be true. Contentment and happiness didn’t exist in my life for more than a few moments at a time, and they were real y only il usionary.

  There was always something hidden. Lying in wait to spring up and ruin everything.

  Gideon arrived just as dinner was coming out of the oven. He had a garment bag in one hand and a laptop case in the other. I’d worried that he would try to go home alone after his session with Dr. Petersen and was relieved when he’d cal ed to say he was on his way. Stil , when I first opened the door and saw him on the threshold, a shiver of unease slid through me.

  “Hey,” he said quietly, fol owing me back into the kitchen. “Smel s delicious in here.”

  “I hope you’re hungry. There’s a lot of food and I’l be surprised if Cary joins us to help eat it al .” Gideon dropped his stuff on the breakfast bar and approached me cautiously, his gaze searching my face as he neared. “I brought some things with me to stay the night, but I’l go if you want. At any time. Just tel me.”

  I blew out my breath in a harsh rush, determined not to let fear dictate my actions. “I want you here.”

  “I want to be here.” He paused beside me. “Can I hold you?”

  I turned into him and squeezed him hard. “Please.” He pressed his cheek against mine and hugged me close. The embrace wasn’t as natural and easy as we’d grown used to. There was a new wariness between us that was different from anything we’d felt before.

  “How are you doing?” he murmured.

  “Better now that you’re here.”

  “But stil nervous.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “Me, too. I don’t know how we’re ever going to fal asleep next to each other again.” Pul ing back slightly, I looked at him. That was my fear as wel , and my earlier conversation with Cary didn’t help matters. He’s a ticking time bomb…

  “We’l figure it out,” I said.

  He was quiet for a long moment. “Has Nathan ever contacted you?”

  “No.” Although I had a deep-rooted fear that I might see him again one day, whether accidental y or deliberately. He was out there somewhere, breathing the same air…“Why?”

  “It was on my mind today.”

  I pul ed back to search his face, a knot forming in my throat at how tormented he looked. “Why?”

  “Because we’ve got a lot of baggage between us.”

  “Are you thinking it’s too much?”

  Gideon shook his head. “I can’t think that way.” I didn’t know what to do or say. What assurances could I give him, when I wasn’t sure my love and his need would be enough to make our relationship work?

  “What’s going through your mind?” he asked.

  “Thoughts of food. I’m starving. Why don’t you go see if Cary wants to eat? Then we can get started on dinner.”

  Gideon found Cary sleeping, so he and I ate a candlelit dinner for two at the dining table, a somewhat formal meal while lounging in the worn T-shirts and pajama bottoms we’d put on after our respective showers. I was worried about Cary, but spending quiet downtime alone with Gideon felt like just what we needed.

  “I had lunch with Magdalene in my office yesterday,” he said after we’d enjoyed a few initial bites.

  “Oh?” While I’d been ring shopping, Magdalene had been enjoying private time with my man?

  “Don’t take that tone,” he admonished. “She ate a meal in an office covered in your flowers, with you blowing kisses from my desk. You were as much there as she was.”

  “Sorry. Knee-jerk reaction.”

  He lifted my hand to his mouth and pressed a quick, hard kiss to the back. “I’m relieved you can stil get jealous over me.”

  I sighed. My emotions had been al over the map al day; I couldn’t decide how I felt about anything. “Did you say anything to her about Christopher?”

  “That was the point of the lunch. I showed her the video.”

  “What?” I frowned, remembering my phone had died in his car. “How’d you do that?”

  “I took your phone up to my office and pul ed the video off via USB. Didn’t you notice I brought it back last night, ful y charged?”

  “No.” I set my silverware down. Dominant or not, Gideon and I were going to have to work on which lines crossed over into my freak-out zone. “You can’t just hack into my phone, Gideon.”

  “I didn’t hack into it. You haven’t set a password yet.”

  “That’s not the point! It’s a serious invasion of my fucking privacy. Jesus…” Why in hel did no one in my life understand that I had boundaries? “Would you like me rummaging through your stuff?”

  “I’ve got nothing to hide.” He pul ed his smartphone out of an inner pocket of his sweats and held it out to me. “And you won’t either.”

  I didn’t want to get into a fight now, things were too shaky as it was, but I’d let this go long enough. “It doesn’t matter whether or not I have something I don’t want you to see. I have a right to space and privacy, and you need to ask before you help yourself to my information and my belongings. You have to stop taking whatever you want without my permission.”

  “What was private about it?’ he asked with a frown.

  “You showed it to me yourself.”

  “Don’t be like my mother, Gideon!” I shouted.

  “There’s only so much crazy I can handle.” He jerked back at my vehemence, clearly surprised by how upset I was. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

  I gulped down my wine, trying to rein in my temper and unease. “Sorry I’m mad? Or sorry you did it?” After the length of several heartbeats, Gideon said,

  “I’m sorry you’re mad.”

  He real y didn’t get it. “Why don’t you see how weird this is?”

  “Eva.” He sighed and shoved a hand through his hair. “I spend a quarter of every day inside you. When you set limits outside of that I can’t help but see them as arbitrary.”

  “Wel , they’re not. They’re important to me. If there’s something you want to know, you need to ask me.”

  “Al right.”

  “Don’t do it anymore,” I warned. “I’m not kidding, Gideon.”

  His jaw tightened. “Okay. I get it.”

  Then, because I real y didn’t want to fight, I moved on. “What did she say when she saw it?” He visibly relaxed. “It was difficult, of course. Even more difficult to know I’d seen it.”

  “She saw us in the library.”

  “We didn’t talk abou
t that directly, but then, what was there to say? I won’t apologize for making love to my girlfriend in a closed room.” He leaned back in his chair and exhaled harshly. “Seeing Christopher’s face on the video—seeing what he real y thought of her

  — that hurt her. It’s hard to see yourself being used that way. Especial y by someone you think you know, someone who’s supposed to care about you.” To hide my reaction, I busied myself with refil ing both my glass and his. He spoke as if from experience. What exactly had been done to him?

  After a quick gulp of wine, I asked, “How are you doing with it?”

  “What can I do? Over the years, I’ve made every attempt to talk to Christopher. I’ve tried throwing money at him. I’ve tried threatening him. He’s never shown any inclination to change. I realized long ago that I can only do damage control. And keep you as far away from him as possible.”

  “I’l be helping you with that, now that I know.”

  “Good.” He took a drink, eyeing me over the lip of his glass. “You’re not asking me about my appointment with Dr. Petersen.”

  “It’s none of my business. Unless you want to share.” I met his gaze, wil ing him to do just that. “I’m here to listen whenever you need an ear, but I’m not going to pry. When you’re ready to let me in, you wil . That said, I’d love to know if you like him.”

  “So far.” He smiled. “He talks me around in circles.

  Not many people can do that.”

  “Yes. Talks you back around and makes you come at it from a different angle that has you thinking, ‘Now why didn’t I see it like that?’”

  Gideon’s fingers stroked up and down the stem of his glass. “He prescribed something for me to take at night before bed. I fil ed it before I came over.”

  “How do you feel about taking drugs?”

  He looked at me with dark, haunted eyes. “I feel it’s necessary. I have to be with you and I have to make that safe for you, whatever it takes. Dr. Petersen says the drug combined with therapy has been successful for other ‘atypical sexual parasomniacs.’ I have to believe that.”

  I reached over to squeeze his hand. Taking medication was a big step, especial y for someone who’d avoided facing his problems for a long time.

  “Thank you.”

  Gideon’s grip tightened. “Apparently there are enough people with this problem that there have been sleep studies on it. He told me about a documented case where a man sexual y assaulted his wife in his sleep for twelve years before they sought help.”

  “Twelve years? Jesus.”

  “Apparently part of the reason they waited so long was because the man was a better lay when he was asleep,” he said dryly. “And if that’s not a kil er blow to the ego, I don’t know what is.”

  I stared at him. “Wel , shit.”

  “I know, right?” His wry smile faded. “But I don’t want you to feel pressured to share a bed with me, Eva.

  There is no magic pil . I can sleep on the couch or I can

  go home, although of the two choices I’d prefer the couch. My whole day is better after getting ready for work with you.”

  “For me, too.”

  Reaching over, Gideon caught my hand and lifted it to his lips. “I never imagined I could have this…

  Someone in my life who knows what you do about me.

  Someone who could talk about my fuck-ups over dinner because they accept me anyway…I’m grateful for you, Eva.”

  My heart twisted with a sweet pain in my chest. He could say such beautiful things, the perfect things.

  “I feel the same way about you, ace.” Deeper, maybe, because I loved him. But I didn’t say that aloud.

  He’d get there someday. I wasn’t going to give up until he was absolutely, irrevocably mine.

  With his bare feet propped on the coffee table and his computer on his lap, Gideon looked so at home and relaxed that he kept distracting me from my television shows.

  How did we get here? I asked myself. This extravagantly sexy man and me?

  “You’re staring,” he murmured, his gaze on his laptop screen.

  I stuck my tongue out at him.

  “Is that a sexual suggestion, Miss Tramel ?”

  “How do you see me while staring at whatever

  you’re working on?”

  He looked up then and caught my gaze. His blue eyes blazed with power and heat. “I’ve always seen you, angel. From the moment you found me, I’ve seen nothing but you.”

  Wednesday started with Gideon’s cock pushing into me from behind, my new favorite way to wake up.

  “Wel , then,” I said hoarsely, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as his arm hitched around my waist and hauled me closer to his warm, hard chest. “You’re frisky this morning.”

  “You’re gorgeous and sexy every morning,” he murmured, nibbling on my shoulder. “I love waking up to you.”

  We celebrated a night of uninterrupted sleep with a handful of orgasms between us.

  Much later in the day, I had lunch with Mark and his partner Steven at a lovely Mexican restaurant tucked beneath the street. We descended a short set of cement stairs into a surprisingly spacious restaurant with black-vested waitstaff and plenty of light.

  “You’l need to bring your man back here,” Steven said, “and have him buy you one of the pomegranate margaritas.”

  “Good stuff?” I asked.

  “Oh, yeah.”

  When the waitress came to take our orders, she flirted outrageously with Mark, fluttering enviously long lashes. Mark flirted back. As the meal progressed, the exuberant redhead—whose name tag introduced her as Shawna—became bolder, touching Mark’s shoulders and the back of his neck every time she came by. In return, Mark’s banter became more suggestive, until I eyed Steven nervously, watching his face redden and his scowl deepen by the moment.

  Shifting uncomfortably, I was counting down the minutes until the tension-fraught meal was over.

  “Let’s get together tonight,” Shawna said to Mark when she brought the check. “One night with me and I’l cure you.”

  I gaped. Seriously?

  “Seven o’clock work for you?” Mark purred. “I’l ruin you, Shawna. You know what happens once you go black…”

  I inhaled my water down the wrong pipe and choked.

  Steven leaped to his feet and rounded the table, pounding me on the back. “Hel , Eva,” he said, laughing. “We’re just playing with you. Don’t die on us.”

  “What?” I gasped, my eyes watering.

  Grinning, he came around my shoulder and tossed his arm around the waitress. “Eva, meet my sister, Shawna. Shawna, Eva here is the one who makes Mark’s life easier.”

  “That’s good,” Shawna said, “since he’s got you to

  make things harder.”

  Steven winked at me. “That’s why he keeps me around.”

  Seeing the brother and sister pair so close together, I final y caught the resemblance I’d missed before. I sagged into my seat and narrowed my eyes at Mark.

  “That was rotten. I thought Steven was going to blow a gasket.”

  Mark held up his hands in a show of surrender. “It was al his idea. He’s the drama queen, remember?” Rocking back on his heels, Steven grinned and said, “Now, Eva. You know Mark’s the idea man in this relationship.”

  Shawna dug a business card out of her pocket and handed it to me. “My number’s on the flipside. Gimme a cal . I’ve got the inside dirt on these two. You can pay

  ’em back real y good.”

  “Traitor!” Steven accused.

  “Hey.” Shawna shrugged. “Us girls have to stick together.”

  After work, Gideon and I went to his gym. Angus dropped us off at the curb and we headed inside. The place was hopping and the locker room crowded. I changed and stowed my stuff; then met Gideon in the hal way.

  I waved at Daniel, the trainer who’d talked to me on my first visit to CrossTrainer, and got a smack on the ass for it.

  “Hey,” I prot
ested, swatting at Gideon’s chastising hand. “Cut it out.”

  He tugged my ponytail and gently urged my head back, tilting my mouth up so he could mark his territory with a deep, lush kiss.

  The way he pul ed my hair sent electricity sweeping across my skin. “If this is your idea of a deterrent,” I whispered against his lips, “I have to say it’s much more of an incentive.”

  “I’m quite wil ing to take it up a notch.” He nipped my lower lip with his teeth. “But I wouldn’t suggest testing my limits that way, Eva.”

  “Don’t worry. I have other ways to do it.” Gideon hit the treadmil first, affording me the pleasure of seeing his body glistening with sweat…in public. As often as I saw him that way in private, it never ceased to be a major turn-on.

  And God, I loved the way he looked with his hair tied back. And the flex of his muscles beneath lightly tanned skin. And the graceful power of his movements.

  Seeing such an elegantly urbane man shed the suits and show off his animal side hit al my hot buttons.

  I couldn’t stop staring and was happy I didn’t have to. He was mine, after al ; a fact that sent warm pleasure sliding through me. Besides, every other woman in the gym was checking him out, too. As he moved from station to station, dozens of admiring eyes fol owed.

  When he caught me ogling, I shot him a suggestive glance and ran my tongue along my lower lip. His arched brow and rueful half-smile made me tingly. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so motivated while working out. An hour and a half just flew by.

  By the time we got back in the Bentley and headed to the penthouse, I was squirming in my seat. My gaze slid repeatedly to Gideon in silent invitation.

  He linked his fingers with mine. “You’l wait for it.” That pronouncement startled me. “What?”

  “You heard me.” He kissed my fingers and had the nerve to give me a wicked smile. “Delayed gratification, angel.”

  “Why would we do that?”

  “Think of how crazed we’l be for each other after dinner.”

  I leaned closer so Angus didn’t overhear me, although I knew he was professional enough to ignore us. “That’s a given, waiting or not. I say we go with not.” But he wouldn’t budge. Instead, he tortured us both.