Merriment, Mayhem, and Meows (Klepto Cat Mystery Book 21)

by Patricia Fry

  “Yes,” Colbi said, grinning impishly across the table at her. “A baby.”

  Iris laughed.

  Margaret chuckled. “So you’re going to wait for delivery to see if it’s a goblin or a…?”

  “Don’t say it, Maggie,” Iris threatened.

  “Say what?” she asked innocently.

  “Witch.”

  Margaret grinned. “I wasn’t going to say witch; I was going to say, pumpkin or goblette.”

  Iris tilted her head. “Goblette?”

  “Yeah, isn’t that a girl goblin?” After a round of laughter, Iris looked at her watch, and Margaret noticed. “Do you have an appointment?”

  “I still have a few finishing touches to take care of out at the Kaiser place.”

  “Like what?” Margaret asked.

  “Oh, I need to order flowers for the lobby and guest rooms, pick out towels and a few throw pillows—some of the rooms could use more color accents. Flowers will help, but I think we also need some larger splashes of color.” Iris tucked a stray curl into her casual up-do. “Maybe an afghan or throw…”

  “How many bathrooms are there?” Margaret asked.

  “Five. Two downstairs and three upstairs.”

  Margaret squinted. “So there are eight rooms upstairs, as I recall, and only three bathrooms for all those people? Ick. I hate sharing a bathroom with strangers. I guess that’s why I don’t stay in bed-and-breakfast places when I travel.”

  “When do you travel?” Savannah asked, grinning at her aunt as she helped Lily eat her ice cream.

  “I traveled after college,” Margaret insisted.

  Iris slapped the top of the table. “Oh, my gosh, Maggie, that was forty years ago. And you stayed in hostels, didn’t you? You shared a bathroom then.”

  “Yeah, but I was young and so were the others. I don’t want to share towels and toilet seats with old people now that I’m…”

  “Old?” Colbi suggested, grinning at Margaret.

  Iris pulled a twenty-dollar bill from her black-and-white designer handbag. “No, Colbi, we’re not old, are we, Maggie?” She picked up the check and studied it.

  “Speak for yourself, Iris. I’m getting kind of creaky.”

  “Auntie, you should be out traveling more,” Savannah suggested.

  Margaret’s face brightened. “Well, I will be traveling to San Francisco for Arthur’s and Suzette’s wedding.”

  Iris chuckled. “Big wow, Maggie.”

  Margaret ignored her. “I must say, Vannie, I’m more than a little worried about that trip.”

  “Why?” Savannah asked, concern in her tone.

  “Because you’ll be there.”

  Savannah tilted her head, her blond hair sweeping across one shoulder.

  When Margaret saw her niece’s inquisitive stare, she said, “May I remind you of the last time we were in Frisco together?” She didn’t wait for a response. “You took me out in the swamp at night and I got bonked on the head.”

  Savannah grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, that was the night Rags escaped and we went out looking for him. Well, don’t worry, Auntie; Rags won’t be going on this trip.”

  “Your cat’s not invited to the wedding?” Iris teased.

  “His name wasn’t on the invitation.” Savannah paused before adding, “However…”

  “Uh-oh, however what?” Margaret demanded. She held her hands over her ears. “Do I even want to hear this?”

  Savannah chuckled. “Well, the thing is, Rob told me that any time we plan to travel, we should let him know and he’ll arrange for Rags to do a book signing.”

  “What?” Margaret screeched.

  Colbi looked at Savannah.

  Iris, too, stopped calculating her share of the bill to hear what Savannah had to say.

  “You know that children’s book series our cats are in, Auntie? The first one’s out.”

  “I know,” Margaret said, smiling. “I bought a whole boxful of them.” She pulled one out of her purse and handed it across the table to Iris. “Did I show it to you guys?”

  Savannah raised her eyebrows. “The thing is, Auntie, we need to promote it. That’s what Rob says. Books need to be promoted and what better way, he says, than to let Rags greet his fans?” When she saw her aunt’s cynical look, she said, “You might want to take Jack and Layla to a signing sometime. It could be fun, and we’d surely sell more books to kids who’ve actually met the cat stars, don’t you think so?”

  “This is great!” Iris said as she thumbed through the book. “Look at how nice the photos turned out.”

  “Let me see…let me see…” Colbi said, moving closer to Iris. “Oh, my. Well done, you guys. I love it.”

  “How much is it?” Iris asked. “I want one. This will be my grandbaby’s first book.”

  “Cool.” Colbi grinned across at Savannah and Margaret. “Can I get the cats’ paw-tographs?”

  “Certainly, Colbi.” Margaret focused on Iris. “The book sells for twelve ninety-five, but I’d like to give you a copy for the baby.”

  “Okay,” Iris said. “I’ll take the gift for the baby’s home library and buy one to keep at my house for him or her.”

  Margaret made a note. “All right, I have some in my car.” She then addressed her niece, “So you may take Rags with us to San Francisco?”

  Savannah nodded. “Sure, if Rob wants to arrange for a book signing in the city while we’re there.”

  Margaret thought about it for a moment. “You know, Layla would probably be easy to travel with. And she gets along with Rags. Maybe I’ll think about taking her to Frisco, too. Yeah, kids would love to pet her soft fur. She could probably sell a lot of books. Good idea, Vannie.”

  “Speaking of promotion,” Savannah said to Iris, “how do you plan to advertise your open house? Will you send invitations?”

  “We don’t have a mailing list, per se. Michelle is setting up a website and we’ll do some advertising in newspapers locally and in certain larger cities. In fact, our ads should start coming out this week.”

  “I think I saw your ad at the newspaper office yesterday,” Colbi said. “Dorothy was laying it out. It’ll be a half page, right?”

  “Wow,” Margaret said. “You have that much money to spend?”

  Iris shrugged. “I hope so. From what I understand, Mavis got quite an inheritance to use toward the project. You have to spend money in order to make money. If we don’t get word out, no one will know about us.”

  “That’s a fact, Iris,” Colbi said. “Are you doing radio ads?”

  “I think so. We hope to attract two hundred people or so—visitors to the area and residents with out-of-town friends and family who might want an elegant B-and-B experience. We’ll also send invitations to local dignitaries. Michelle has hired people to do that.” She sat up straighter. “Oh, Savannah…” She looked at Margaret. “…and maybe you, Maggie…”

  “What?” Margaret asked suspiciously.

  “Well, Mavis wants me to be in charge of the cats.”

  “What cats?”

  “You know, the calm, friendly cats we’re bringing in for guests to enjoy. We’d like to have some wandering around the place during the open house.”

  “With two hundred people coming in and out?” Colbi questioned.

  Iris frowned. “That won’t work?”

  “I sure wouldn’t want to be a small creature with a bunch of tall beasts walking around me making a lot of noise and spilling drinks,” Colbi explained.

  Margaret began to laugh.

  “What’s funny?” Colbi asked.

  “You,” she said. “You are a small creature walking around among a bunch of tall beasts.”

  “I’m almost as tall as you are,” Colbi huffed.

  Margaret pushed out her chest. “But not as hefty.”

  “All right,” Iris said sounding a little annoyed, “let’s get back to the cats. So you think the guests will scare them?”

  �
�Sure might,” Margaret said. “Even sweet, tranquil cats, can be frightened by noise and skittish when they’re around a lot of people.” She widened her eyes. “And maybe even become injured.”

  “However,” Savannah began thoughtfully. When all eyes were on her, she continued, “It might work under certain circumstances.”

  “What circumstances?” the others wanted to know.

  “Well, if the cats’ comfort is taken into consideration first and foremost.”

  Iris looked confused. “Huh?”

  “Yeah, what are you thinking, Savannah?” Colbi asked. “You’re not suggesting Iris bring in cages, are you?”

  “Or that we put the cats in slings and carry them around on our shoulders all day,” Margaret quipped.

  Savannah shook her head. “No, you can leave the cats in the guest rooms and offer guided tours to see the rooms and the cats rather than allowing a rush of people to converge upon them when they enter the living room. Or you could leave the cats in the cat room—that’s the attic, right? And invite those guests who like cats to meander up there and visit them.”

  “Or,” Margaret said excitedly, “you can create a cat-friendly area in the living room, where the cats can be seen and also be safe.”

  “The living room is now the lobby…or foyer,” Iris said, rather dramatically. She faced Margaret. “That’s an intriguing idea. But how, Maggie?”

  “Well, you could run some catwalks around the walls above the commotion. Provide little cubby holes where the cats can hang out and watch everyone from above. Build carpeted stairs up to the high-rise kitty world.” As Margaret spoke, she became more animated. “You might set up some large, carpeted cat trees here and there for cats who want to be within a petting zone, but out from under stilettos and wingtips.”

  Iris processed the suggestions for a few moments. “All good ideas; I’ll run them by Mavis. We sure don’t want any kitties to get stepped on.”

  “And you don’t want people feeding them rich appetizers,” Savannah said. When Iris looked at her, she explained, “Things like garlic shrimp and oysters may not agree with a cat. They might upchuck on that gorgeous new carpeting and furniture you told me about.”

  “Yikes,” Iris yelped, “we can’t have that.”

  “You probably don’t have time to create the overhead cat runs Maggie’s talking about before the open house, do you?” Colbi asked. When Iris shrugged, she continued, “For now, maybe just bring in some large cat trees—like eight or ten feet tall—and some portable cat cubbies.”

  “Oh, that takes some pressure off. Good idea.” Iris took a deep breath and looked across at Savannah and Margaret. “So will you two help me find some cats and cat furniture?”

  “Now is this for the open house—just for show—or are these cats going to be…” Colbi started.

  “Treasured?” Margaret said.

  “And who’s going to watch over them?” Savannah asked.

  Iris glanced at the others. “Those who are happy there will live there. As I understand it, they’ll have the run of the place with the attic room being their primary hangout. And guests can request a cat to keep them company in their room if they want to. Of course, we’ll have a cat-tender. Mavis is auditioning people to care for the cats.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.” Iris bounced a little in her seat. “Oh, and we’re building them a room outside.” When she noticed that all eyes were on her, she explained, “I took Mavis over to June Balcomb’s cat ranch to see that amazing cat room June had built. We’re creating a similar room at the inn so the cats can go outside and still be safe.” She put her hand on Colbi’s arm and leaned toward the others. “We’ll have a stairway from the attic down into the amazing cat room.”

  “Gosh, don’t tell our cats about it,” Margaret quipped. “They’ll want to apply for a job at your place.”

  “Will the catio be finished in time for the open house?” Savannah asked.

  Iris looked puzzled. “The what?”

  “Catio. That’s what they call an outdoor space for cats. Will it be finished by the twenty-fourth?”

  Iris nodded. “Should be. But it’s not exactly a cat patio, it’s a room—like a sunroom.” She looked pleadingly from Savannah to Margaret. “So will you help me find cats and some cat apparatus?”

  “I guess so,” Savannah said.

  “Sure, if I can. Where would we start?” Margaret asked.

  “I was hoping you ladies could tell me,” Iris whined.

  “Probably at local shelters,” Savannah suggested. “Let’s talk to June Balcomb and Nola. They might have a nice older cat, or a black cat—they’re sometimes difficult to place.”

  “Yeah, and we could check with some of the gals in the cat alliance…” Margaret said. “…those who keep their fingers on the pulse of the cat community.” She gazed across at Iris. “Max and I might have a suitable cat at our shelter.”

  “And Michael may know of a cat,” Savannah said. “We could look at the bulletin board in the waiting room at the clinic where people put up ‘need home for cat’ notices.” She looked at Iris. “How many cats do you want?”

  “I don’t know; maybe four to start with. What do you think?”

  The others nodded in agreement.

  “So, when can we start the cat search?” Iris asked, smiling.

  “I guess anytime,” Savannah said deferring to her aunt, who shrugged.

  “Why don’t you let Rags in on the fun?” Colbi suggested.

  Margaret frowned. “Huh? What fun? Why Rags?”

  Colbi dug a small piece of ice out of her tea and popped it into her mouth. “I was just thinking that as intuitive as that cat is, he might be a help in your auditions.”

  Margaret dropped her head into one hand rather dramatically. “Yeah, if you want this to become a total disaster.”

  “Hey, Colbi may be right,” Iris said. “He’s done some amazing things and he seems to have a heart for other animals.” Her eyes wide, she added, “Remember when he escaped into the cold that night and kept June Balcomb’s sick cat warm? As I understand it, that poor cat would have died if it wasn’t for Rags.”

  “Yeah, but…” Margaret started.

  “And he led authorities to the burning house where I was locked inside,” Colbi said. She choked up. “He saved my life.”

  Margaret raised one finger in the air. “Yeah, but…”

  Colbi continued, her voice cracking, “I’m convinced that Dolly would not have survived alone when the two of them escaped last month and—oh yeah—especially when they were lost in the mountains. I believe Rags kept my Dolly-kitty safe.”

  Iris jumped in again. “What about the time he found the little crippled girl in that old mine shaft and saved her from that dreadful man?”

  Margaret looked at Savannah, who grinned at her aunt. “I guess I’m outnumbered.”

  “No, Maggie,” Iris said, “I want to know why you think this is a bad idea. What do you know about Rags that we don’t know?”

  Margaret glanced around at the others. “Oh, never mind. Okay, let’s involve Rags, but don’t say I didn’t try to warn you.”

  Chapter 2

  “I thought we’d visit my aunt’s cats first,” Savannah said when Iris arrived at her home the following morning.

  “Do Maggie and Max have some nice cats at their shelter?”

  “She thinks they might.”

  Iris laughed when she saw Savannah pick up Rags’s harness. “Will she allow him at her place?”

  “Why wouldn’t she?”

  “Oh, you know, she seemed to think we were all kinda crazy when we touted his virtues at lunch yesterday.” Iris squinted at Savannah. “Doesn’t she like your cat?”

  Savannah ran her hand over Rags’s plush grey-and-white fur. “Yeah, she likes him. Sometimes I think she’s just jealous because he gets more attention than her cats do.” She grinned. “He’s rather famous, you know. When w
e were down south last year staying at Peter’s beach house, we ran into people who had read about how Rags had helped our local sheriff’s department solve a couple of crimes.”

  Just then, they heard Michael chuckle from the kitchen doorway. “Oh, hon, you have to agree there’s more to it than that.” When Savannah gave her husband a blank stare, he added, “Maggie has good reason to be wary when Rags is going to be involved.”

  “What do you mean?” Savannah asked innocently.

  He took a deep breath. “Well, there was the time he…”

  “Mommy bye-bye?” Lily said when she toddled into the room.

  “Yes, Mommy and Aunt Ris-Ris are going to see some kitties.”

  “Me see kitties,” the toddler chirped.

  “Not today, precious. You’re going to stay with Daddy.” When Lily started to fuss, Savannah quickly added, “…and Buffy and Lexie.”

  At the mention of Buffy and Lexie, Lily stopped crying. She looked at Buffy, who peered out from her pink canopy bed. “Kitty,” Lily said, moving closer and patting the Himalayan-mix cat. She then ran to where Lexie’s leash hung, pulled it off the hook, and dragged it toward Buffy. “Kitty bye-bye,” she said, trying to wrap the leash around the cat.

  Michael quickly reached for the baby.

  “Kitty bye-bye,” Lily whined, when he moved her away from Buffy. “Kitty bye-bye.”

  Michael ran his hand through his straight, dark-brown hair. “I have an idea.”

  “Kitty bye-bye?” she wailed, holding the leash in Buffy’s direction.

  “Let’s take Lexie bye-bye. Want to take the dog for a walk?” When Lily continued to fuss, Michael kneeled down to her level. “Lily, look at Daddy.” When she did, he said, “Let’s take the wow-wow bye-bye.” He walked with her to where Lexie sat and showed the part-Afghan hound her leash. The dog started dancing around excitedly. “Look, Lexie wants to go bye-bye.”

  At that, Lily took one end of the leash and tried to attach it to Lexie’s collar. “Wow-wow bye-bye!” she shouted.

  “Let’s get dressed, first,” Michael said to the baby. “Then we can take the wow-wow for a walk.” When the toddler simply stared up at him, he explained animatedly, “We can’t go outside in our jammies. Come on, let’s go put your new jeans on you, then we’ll take the doggie bye-bye.”