Salvaging Max

by SH Richardson

  “Really, Max, it’s not that serious. I was just kidding…”

  I tried to laugh it off, but the damage was already done. He was shaking his head no to whatever lie I tried to invent; anything was better than the truth. The last thing I remembered seeing was the flex of his muscles on his retreating back as he grabbed his bag and closed himself inside the bathroom. My goose was definitely cooked.

  MAXWELL

  Buck had told us once that women were one of the biggest mysteries there were in life. You could love them forever, but you’d never understand the thousands of layers that made up their souls. It sounded like soap opera bullshit to a bunch of hormonal thirteen-year-old boys, but I was beginning to wonder if perhaps Buck was on to something. I’d fucked more women in my lifetime than I cared to admit, most of which I barely remembered, but they were all the same. I felt as if I had solved that so-called mystery years ago. They had a pussy, I had a dick, dick goes inside the pussy, end of story. The rest never meant much to me. Feelings and shit…I never needed them to get off. I had my song, and that was the only thing I wanted to hear.

  Heaven was a walking, talking contradiction wrapped in a sexy little package of piss and vinegar. In the short time I’d known her, I’d managed to crack her hard exterior on more than one occasion, yet she continued to surprise the shit outta me with her vulnerabilities. I’d never had such an intense desire to know a woman as much as I did with Heaven. She moved something within me that wanted to protect her and keep her close to me at all times. I should push her away, force her to see me as the asshole I really was, the selfish man who had a penchant for kinky sex wherever and whenever he wanted it. She’d be better off without someone like me in her life. I’d only end up ruining her like I’d done my brothers. It was my one gift to anyone who dared to enter my fucked-up world and called me friend. The hot shower was just what I needed to settle the conflict in my head and come to the right decision about Heaven. For once in my life, I had to do the right thing by thinking of someone else’s feelings and not just my own. As much as I wanted her for myself, I knew it could never be. I didn’t deserve someone like her.

  The room was completely dark when I came out of the bathroom. All the lights I had left on were now off, and Heaven appeared to be sleeping soundly. The king-sized bed swallowed up her tiny body, especially since she lay as close to the edge as humanly possible. I slid inside the cold sheets, careful to remain on my side of the mattress, and inhaled deeply, grateful, we were both safe and I could finally get some much-needed sleep.

  “Max, is that you?” Cute as hell.

  “Yeah, baby, it’s me.” I resisted the urge to say, “Who the fuck else would it be” and closed my eyes. I felt the bed move and knew she had turned from her previous position and was now facing me.

  “Are we friends, Max? I mean…I know you said you didn’t want to be my friend, but I thought, since you saved my life, we could at least try, but only if you want to.”

  Now was my chance to tell her to fuck off, that hell yeah, I meant that shit and the last thing I needed was another fucking friend, especially some woman I’d like to fuck up the ass more than my next breath. I’d make her hate me, and that hate would fuel my need to leave her ass here and run off to find someone more suitable for my…tastes. I could crush her easily at half-dick mode, turn over, and sleep like a baby for the rest of the night. She’d probably yell and call me an asshole, but so what? I was an asshole. The faster she learned that fact, the better off we both would be. I was leaving, and if she had any sense, she’d leave, too, but that was totally up to her, wasn’t my fucking business. Yeah, that’s right, Max. Fuck her.

  By the time I’d hyped myself up enough to see it through, one agonizing sound from Heaven’s side of the bed seized my lungs and buried itself deep within the recesses of my heart. It was a simple sniffle, quiet as a prayer yet louder than the boom from a stick of dynamite exploding in the wind. One fucked-up non-answer from me, and she was brought to tears. I felt the pain of her sorrow throughout my entire body, and it scared the shit outta me. I wanted her in my arms, where I could stop the darkness from taking over my thoughts and that rush of shame I always felt after I’d caused misery to someone who didn’t deserve it. She was shocked when I ran over to her side of the bed and snatched her out from under the security of the blankets and hugged her. She was wearing the T-shirt I’d given her, which was long enough to cover her nakedness underneath it, but this wasn’t about sex; it was about something more.

  “I’m so sorry, Heaven. Please don’t cry because of me.”

  Since I wasn’t wearing a shirt, I felt the cool path of her hot tears as they ran down the side of my neck. She shivered uncontrollably and tried to control the sobs that wracked her tiny body, so I laid us down and covered us while I held her tightly to my chest. We stayed silent, but that didn’t stop our hands from being active. I gently smoothed the hair from her face, while she reached for my other hand and linked our fingers together. It was an odd feeling holding a woman in my arms without trying to fuck her, but one I wouldn’t give up for the world. It just felt…normal.

  “I was twelve and my brother, Landon, was six when my parents died,” Heaven began once her breathing had calmed.

  “No one wanted to take us, so we were sent to live with my older cousin Abby and her husband, Richard. They were financially secure. Richard was a screenwriter, so he worked from home, and Abby was a pharmaceutical sales person, so she traveled a lot. Most of the time, she was gone five to six days out of the week, so Richard was responsible for our everyday needs.” She sat up and moved further away from my prone position in the bed. She was shielding herself from whatever came next. She grabbed one of the pillows and hugged it to her chest while she sat Indian style and played with one of the strings from the pillowcase. I fought against my instincts to close the gap between us and bring her back in my arms. I allowed her the space she needed and stayed silent.

  “Everything was fine for the first few weeks after we arrived. We missed our parents and mourned their deaths as brother and sister. I tried to be as strong as I could for Landon; he was just a baby and cried for my mom and dad often, especially at night during bedtime. He got better as the weeks went on and Abby spent more time with him. She was like a surrogate mother to both of us, and I started to feel like everything was going to be alright.” Tragedy was the source of her strength. How difficult it must have been for a young girl to lose so much and still have the sack to care for another. I admired her bravery.

  “Things changed when Abby started getting sent away on business a lot more often, and for longer periods of time. Richard changed during those times. He would say things that were hurtful, especially to me. He told me that it was my fault my parents were dead because I was a bad little girl who needed to be taught a lesson. He would deny us food and bragged about how he had the refrigerator and pantry wired so he knew if we took anything. We would go days without eating. Landon would cry from stomach cramps and beg me to make them stop. I swear, Max, I didn’t know what to do. There was no one to tell. I didn’t have any money, and I would have done anything to protect my brother.”

  I didn’t need to hear the rest to know where this shit was going. Another fuckhead charged with protecting his own who decided instead to satisfy his own sick needs. What kind of sick fuck took advantage of two grieving kids by starving them to death? At least I’d had Buck to save me from my previous life, but Heaven had had no one, no junkyard, no family, and no friends. I wanted to track that motherfucker down, stick the butt of my M4 up his ass, and blow his fucking brains out, rid the earth of any traces of his existence. I couldn’t protect her then, but I sure as shit could protect her now.

  “Shhhh, it’s okay, baby. You don’t have to tell me any more.” I sat up and touched my hand to her face. She leaned into it and sighed, but it gave her no comfort.

  “Don’t you understand, Max, can’t you see? I’m a whore, a worthless common tramp who deserved everyt
hing that happened tonight.” She jumped from the bed and pointed to her chest in anger.

  “If I wanted an apple, I had to touch him; a sandwich, and he made me…suck on him. When I was old enough, I had to do other things, disgusting things, just so I could have a warmer coat or a pair of shoes. I was so hungry and scared I didn’t know how to make it stop.” Her voice broke.

  I didn’t need the sordid details to know that fucker had sexually abused her. Memories of her crying in the bathroom when she’d watched me get sucked off by that waitress all made sense now. She wasn’t jealous that some bitch was down on her knees; she was reminded of her past reality, and I was too fucking selfish to see it. I wished I could turn back time and take back all that fucked-up shit I’d said to her in that parking lot. I was a callous cunt of a man who let her down, just like everyone else.

  “What happened to your brother, Landon?”

  “He died a short time after it all started. It was just past his seventh birthday.”

  “How old were you when you finally got away?” I had to grit my teeth to keep my anger in check. My insides were boiling like hot lava ready to explode.

  “I was seventeen, Max. Five years, and I never told a soul…until tonight.”

  “And that’s why you’ve never been kissed.”

  “I’ve never been with another man besides…HE was the only one, but it was never my choice.” Her confession gutted me but at the same time gave me hope. Hope that she would choose me the same way I’d chosen her, to be mine.

  Your choices were taken from you, all your strength and free will. Kids don’t deserve that shit. I’m just helping to give it back.

  I understand now, Buck. Goddamn it. I understand now.

  HAVEN

  Max was the last person on earth I’d ever expected to tell my dark and dirty secrets to. I’d assumed the worst about him, that he was spoiled and entitled, all because he came from a rich family. I’d made him my enemy before I realized just how much I needed him as a friend. He’d proven me wrong, and it felt so fucking right to be wrong. It was all out there on the table, well, most of it, so where did we go from here? He never really answered me when I asked about the possibility of us being friends. My confession had surely blown that shit all to hell. Our time together was quickly coming to an end. He’d return to his family at the junkyard, and I’d move on to the next assignment, far away from the Lancasters and their mansion of sin. I had enough in my savings to pack up and move without having to worry about finding new employment right away. Given enough time, I could put this all behind me and forget about everything associated with this nightmare and begin anew.

  Max and I might never be friends, but I’d never forget the short time we’d spent together or the many things I’d come to realize since the day we met. Forgiveness was for the deserving, those who accepted their wrongs and took steps to change them. It wasn’t up to me to forgive Richard for what he did to me; he deserved much worse than my ire, and God willing, one day he’d get his just due. Karma is a meal best served cold, and if there’s any truth to it, he’ll rot in hell knowing that he never broke me. I wasn’t the whore he forced me to be. I deserved to feel love and passion, everything that made life worth living. I had the choice to finally feel freedom for the first time, the type of freedom it took to drop to your knees in a public restroom and suck a man’s cock purely for the joy of it. I was through punishing myself with solitude and overwork. It was time I chose something for myself, starting with the man in front of me.

  “Would you do something for me, Max, if I asked you to?” Please say yes, I begged silently.

  “Anything and everything, Heaven.”

  “Would you kiss me for the very first time in my life? Show me how…I don’t know what…”

  “Fuck yeah, with pleasure.”

  He didn’t wait for me to make a complete fool of myself before he sprang forward and grabbed my face in both his hands. His movements were sure and confident, while mine were shy and hesitant. I didn’t want to mess things up too badly, so I followed his lead. Max controlled our movements with his strong hands, tilting my head slightly toward the side he wanted it, and slowly leaned in and pressed our lips together. My eyes closed on their own accord, and my senses heightened by his soft lips and warm breath. Two soft pecks later, and the tip of his tongue was introduced to mine in a dance made more powerful from the feel of the bulge against my stomach as he held me closer. My body instinctively took over as I melted deeper into his mouth, stroking his arms and chest, desperate to get as close to him as I could. The kiss was amazing, and I never wanted it to stop, not now, not ever. Max slowly moved his mouth to the side of my neck, where he placed two more delicate kisses as light as a feather before backing away on a heavy breath. The look in his eyes said it all. Together, we made magic.

  “That was fucking amazing, Heaven. Are you sure you’ve never been kissed? Another minute of those sweet lips, and I’d call bullshit.” His little joke made me laugh, but I wanted more.

  “Like you said, Max, I’m like candy; you could never stop at just one piece.”

  “You’re fucking right about that. The best goddamn candy in the world.”

  He dove back in for another go, but this time, I didn’t need his help. I tugged and pulled at his unruly hair, held on to his neck so I could hook my leg around his waist, and climbed him like a monkey. I never knew you could get so hot and bothered from just kissing, but my pussy was on fire. If I could just move a little more to the right, his cock would…fuck this shit.

  “Max, I want…feels so good…please touch me,” I panted, unable to form a complete sentence.

  “Where, baby? Right here? Is this where you want me to touch you?” Motherfucker. His fingers grazed my swollen clit, and I nearly came right there on the spot.

  “Oh, my God, so good. Don’t stop.” I clawed at his back until I broke the skin.

  “Hmm, that’s it, ride my fingers, baby, make yourself come.”

  Max lowered his head to the front of the T-shirt I was wearing and took one of my nipples in his mouth right through the cotton fabric. I moaned shamelessly and rode his fingers faster and harder, the release just out of reach, but I continued to chase after it. I couldn’t take a deep breath; the lack of oxygen to my brain only added to the frenzied pace I headed down. Max bit down softly on my nipple at the very same time he squeezed my clit between two of his fingers, and that was all it took to send me over the edge. I screamed out his name as I came in a headed rush that left me boneless and sated. Max and I held each other steady and tried to catch our collective breaths. My face was plastered against his chest, while he rested his chin on top of my head and softly stroked my hair.

  “Jesus, baby, that was fucking incredible. Are you alright? I didn’t hurt you, did I? Please tell me you wanted that as much as I did.” He sounded worried, but he needn’t be. I was better than okay. I was…free.

  “Max, that was…just like heaven.”

  ***

  Schoolgirl giddiness kept me from falling asleep wrapped tightly in Max’s strong arms. We didn’t actually have sex, but in my book, it was the next best thing. I felt like a bird who’d been kept in a cage for far too long and was finally given the chance to soar amongst the clouds towards freedom. With Max, I felt beautiful and feminine, the complete opposite of those years spent with Richard. My pleasure hadn’t been part of the deal. Not that I ever wanted it to be; Richard got off on making me feel dirty and used. I’d never known what real ecstasy could feel like until tonight. I was “that” woman, the one who gave head on a dirty restroom floor, the one who sought out her pleasure and begged for it, the one who was bold enough to shout from the rooftops “I am a real woman!” and believed it. Now wasn’t the time for sleeping; it was the time for rejoicing, and I owed it all to Maxwell O’Neill. I watched him sleeping soundly and listened to his light snore that filled the quiet of the room. He was so fucking beautiful to look at, chiseled jaw with days of scruff, bold lips th
at were the perfect size for my first kiss, and a body that most athletes would kill for. How I wish we had more time.

  “Heaven, I haven’t slept in three days. Take your eyes off me, woman, and get some rest.” Shit, I thought he was asleep. Busted

  “Sorry, I thought you were asleep. How’d you know I was watching you anyway?”

  “Grew up with Buck Calhoun. He taught us to always sleep with one eye open in case some asshole got the drop on you in the middle of the night.” Max had sexy sleep voice, deep and gravely. He would have made one hell of a phone sex operator.

  “Wait, I thought he owned a junkyard. How’d he know about something like that?”

  “He didn’t always own the yard. Before that, he was a biker in a motorcycle gang.” Holy shit. Max was raised by a biker? No wonder he wasn’t like the rest of the Lancasters. What the hell?

  “So, let me get this straight. Your father was an outlaw biker who raised you in a junkyard with three brothers all from different mothers?” I was digging too deep into his personal life, but Max was unlike any man I’d ever known. The more the conversation went on, the more questions I wanted to ask.

  “Almost, but not quite.” He took a deep breath and sat up to face me.

  “My brothers had their own families, but Buck was a father figure to each of us. Range’s father was a broken-down drunk, a worthless sack of shit. Mem and Sebastian didn’t have fathers, so Buck was around to teach them everything they needed to become good men.” He kissed me fast and hard on the lips then flopped back down on his pillow, ready to go back to sleep, but I wasn’t done yet.

  “What does your tattoo mean?” I touched the spot on the inside of his arm, where the beautiful artwork was drawn in swirls of red and black. Too bad you could only see it if his shirt was off.

  “No idea. Buck took me to the shop to have it done on my eighteenth birthday. He never told me what it meant, just that it was important that I had it.” Strange but interesting.